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Author Topic: What are your thoughts?  (Read 11182 times)

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Offline GQBlues

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #25 on: March 05, 2014, 01:44:13 PM »
Slingerland-

I don't doubt you were brought up as a gentlemen's gentleman, but don't mistake any of what I presented to you to have anything to do with being polite to women, or the lacking thereof. Or if whether or not your own perception of what you believe yourself to be is in check.

From my vantage point: Let me point something out very simple (to me) to you...you said:

Skype call with Yulia is over.  I made the call from my home office to her home computer for privacy.  I've known Yulia for a number of years, and watching her on the call I believe she is telling the truth.

She doesn't know what is going on in Marina's mind, and she was shocked to hear from her.  The other blunt discussion points were:
  • Yuila was very surprised about what happened last summer.  She thought it was a fairytale romance in the real world.  But when Marina broke it off so abruptly, at first Yulia thought that I had done something horrible.  So she straddled the fence....[/l][/l][/l][/l]
In my life I've amassed a multitude of acquaintances and friends, likely more females than male, very well. And over many years through these associations, they - you, begin to better understand the type of people they (we) are. Their characters, desires, thoughts, etc...


So at least from my personal experience, the female cast (call it female intuition) *seem* to know and understand me far better than do the males. Thus, had your situation happened to me - I doubt the *Yulia* character's first reaction would've been to suspect I did something *horrible* to someone she knew I had held dear.

This (your actions now) is NOT about being *polite* to women, IMO. Hardly. The sooner you understand that difference, the better off you will be.

This flies in the face of FSUWs bad behavior that many here repeatedly subscribe to as 'cultural differences'. Your last thread from last summer can attest to that. Be very wary of that proverbial fine line separating being *polite* from being *pussy-whipped*.

I wish you good fortune.
[/list]
« Last Edit: March 05, 2014, 01:53:43 PM by GQBlues »
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Offline Slingerland

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #26 on: March 05, 2014, 02:55:56 PM »
GQ your points are good, and often my typing is bad/incomplete, so please let me comment a bit:

Yulia has known me longer than Marina has, but in a professional capacity.  Yulia has known Marina more as a co-worker/friend since they lived in the same city and socialized after work.  In both cases, the relationships go back years.

So when everything blew up, I believe that Yulia was surprised and did not know whom to believe.  What I was trying to type was: from her perspective, did I do something stupid/wrong as a dumb American?  (After all, the man does all the dumb things, right?  ;) )

Yulia was forced into the middle, so she chose not to take sides.  She didn't know the complete truth.  That doesn't imply that she lost trust in me or Marina, Yulia simply didn't know what was going on.

Yesterday, Yulia told me she is furious that Marina lied.  There was no need to concoct an elaborate fantasy when all that happened was Marina got drunk with an old f-buddy.  There was a good chance I would have never found out, and even if I did, Marina and I were not engaged or married.  So Yulia has taken a side: mine.

(BTW, I would disagree with Yulia here... I had a VERY STRONG impression that Marina and I had become exclusive when she accepted the job promotion.  But my misunderstanding maybe.)

But other points you bring up are VERY valid.  You don't see my body language, so maybe the words I choose, the way I describe things come across as weak.  I don't yell.  I don't argue and pick fights, especially with women.  When I am attacked I go very cold, very quiet in person.  I don't react immediately, I wait for things to sort out on their own.  I know that at the beginning of an emergency, fight, argument, whatever, that a lot of information isn't available to both sides yet. 

I think your comment: "Be very wary of that proverbial fine line separating being *polite* from being *pussy-whipped*" is probably excellent advice for me.  It may be that my personality type is best suited for a woman raised in a similar way.

Thanks for the comments, it made me think more. 

Offline Gator

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #27 on: March 05, 2014, 04:42:45 PM »
Slingerland,

Let us focus just on your professional career......you know......those activities you undertake to earn personal income.

When your employers and clients learned of the Maxim-Marina episode, you somehow escaped looking somewhat the hero, especially after you were able to save the job.  Marina's disappearance must have made them to think her undependable if not unstable.  And you want to recommend Marina to management for employment.   Are you crazy?

Management will not consider you pragmatic considering 1) the availability of local programmers and 2) the proven instability of Marina.  They might think you are trying to get the company to finance  your personal love affair.  If I were your manager, I would be irritated by such a recommendation and would lose respect for you.

Forgetting about Marina is more than simplifying your life.  It is about maintaining your professional standing before the people who pay you. 

Offline Gator

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #28 on: March 05, 2014, 04:47:26 PM »
Something about FSUW fascinates you.  Based on what I know you can find a FSUW much better than Marina.  I suggest that you study a site such as Elena's Models and correspond with a few FSUW.  It is fun, and I believe you will be pleasantly encouraged.



Keep in mind that many FSUW know about the film GWTW and they identify with Scarlett. 

Offline Jumper

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #29 on: March 05, 2014, 05:08:23 PM »
 
Quote from: slingerland
If Marina was American, I would know how to react


Then you know how to react.
Absolutely nothing about her nationality effects this.

Regardless circumstances she flaked out, on the job, she flaked out on you personally seemingly without real explanation.

That is not a FSUW trait, it is a individual trait.


There is nothing about this situation that would have you personally or professionally out on a limb for a woman that acted this way.
Why on earth would her nationality have anything to do with it?

The odd part is her friend and your own thoughts lead to the whole
assault incident being a cover up for her having a personal relationship with another employee? One that was terminated over the hubub (perhaps justly,perhaps not?)

I find it very difficult to believe you'd have much to do with rehiring her ,
even if you believe her tale completely,which apparently you do not.

She fell off the map without a personal explanation, then has reappeared by proxy, but has yet to even contact you directly? To me that speaks volumes.





Run Forrest Run
 


« Last Edit: March 05, 2014, 05:11:54 PM by Jumper »
.

Offline Ranetka

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #30 on: March 05, 2014, 06:09:24 PM »
Let me start with ' i told you so'.....

What men here are saying i agree with and i am sure you know they are right too.

As usual my post is not going to be popular. I suggest you look into yourself as why do you want to speak to her again? Me thinks you want to use her asking for job to make her beg, tell her what a... she is and to say 'no'.....bad karma man, very bad karma. Let it go.
There are shortcuts to happiness and dancing is one of them.

I do resent the fact that most people never question or think for themselves. I don't want to be normal. I just want to find some other people that are odd in the same ways that I am. OP.

Offline Slingerland

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #31 on: March 05, 2014, 07:46:29 PM »
 Update: no phone calls from Marina.

When your employers and clients learned of the Maxim-Marina episode, you somehow escaped looking somewhat the hero, especially after you were able to save the job.  Marina's disappearance must have made them to think her undependable if not unstable.  And you want to recommend Marina to management for employment.   Are you crazy?
No Gator, let me clarify: with what I know now, there is no way I would recommend her.

On the other hand, the customer sees Marina as a helpless victim here, abused and raped by her foul supervisor.  They believe she was a poor innocent who was emotionally traumatized.  So, they would hire her.

In fact, I suspect that if I told them what we have really learned since then, they would believe I was just a jilted lover.  So if… IF… it were to come to that, I would simply tell management that I was too involved to give a fair opinion.

Let me start with ' i told you so'.....

Yes, you did.  Thank you for your honesty then and now.


As usual my post is not going to be popular. I suggest you look into yourself as why do you want to speak to her again? Me thinks you want to use her asking for job to make her beg, tell her what a... she is and to say 'no'.....bad karma man, very bad karma. Let it go.
That’s a damned good question.  In a lot of ways, you and GQ are right: I need to just let it go.  I do not want to beg anything from her; I do not want to “get even.”  I just want to know if what Yulia thinks happened is the truth.  But it really won’t make a difference, will it?


Something about FSUW fascinates you. 
I’ll confess to this one.  But other than high school, I never wanted to date a Southern Blonde.  My wife was first generation Korean-American (her parents from Seoul.)  I’ve never traveled and foreign cultures fascinate me.


Keep in mind that many FSUW know about the film GWTW and they identify with Scarlett.
Oh hell… maybe I need to stick with Koreans!  At least I know their culture, body language and profanity!
   
 

Offline Gator

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #32 on: March 06, 2014, 08:13:34 AM »

Oh hell… maybe I need to stick with Koreans!  At least I know their culture, body language and profanity!
 

If you prefer the Asian woman,  the FSU has many women with Asian DNA.  And I do not believe they get as much attention as the Slavic women.  And a few women have both Slavic and Asian ancestors, giving them an exotic look that can be incredibly beautiful IMO.  Smart too! 

So go to the various dating sites and examine the eye candy. 

Offline Slingerland

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #33 on: March 06, 2014, 09:10:29 AM »
If you prefer the Asian woman,  the FSU has many women with Asian DNA.  And I do not believe they get as much attention as the Slavic women.  And a few women have both Slavic and Asian ancestors, giving them an exotic look that can be incredibly beautiful IMO.  Smart too! 

That's exactly what Marina looked like: her father was from Kazakhstan, and she had the Slavic/Asian blend of features.  For example, her eyes had the shape and epicanthic fold, but with electric green iris color.

I'll go check out some eye candy!

Offline ML

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #34 on: March 06, 2014, 10:17:58 AM »
Just what a man needs:  The inscrutability of an Oriental blended with the stubborn and never wrong Slavic outlook.

But, oh yeah, she will look exotic.
A beautiful woman is pleasant to look at, but it is easier to live with a pleasant acting one.

Offline Larry1

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #35 on: March 06, 2014, 01:48:21 PM »
Just what a man needs:  The inscrutability of an Oriental blended with the stubborn and never wrong Slavic outlook.

There is a member here whose FSUW wife told him following a disagreement between them that he was right. I heard the evidence of this with my own ears and can attest that this is correct.

Offline Slumba

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #36 on: March 06, 2014, 02:30:48 PM »
If you prefer the Asian woman,  the FSU has many women with Asian DNA.  And I do not believe they get as much attention as the Slavic women.  And a few women have both Slavic and Asian ancestors, giving them an exotic look that can be incredibly beautiful IMO.  Smart too! 


I have met I think, 2 such women (non- 100% Slavic origin Russian) in the USA, I can confirm they are both smart and interesting, have a lot of energy.  Good looking also :)
Me gusta ir de compras con mi tarjeta verde...

Offline CarlR

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #37 on: March 06, 2014, 03:17:21 PM »
Chuckle… more than ever - I believe in that old saying…

"NEVER - get your 'meat'… where you get your 'bread'!"

Work is work…  - and in the workplace - ummm… No, Thank You!

Too many complications like this. ;-)

Carl...
"The church is near - but the roads are icy!
 The bar is far away… I will need to walk carefully!"

"There is never a need - to outrun… anything you can outwit!" (Garfield the Cat)

Offline Jumper

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #38 on: March 06, 2014, 05:58:08 PM »
There is a member here whose FSUW wife told him following a disagreement between them that he was right. I heard the evidence of this with my own ears and can attest that this is correct.

:ROFL:
Well my wife's  a good sport.
I think it has occurred a few times, I was shocked enough to ask her to repeat it.
:)
.

Offline Slingerland

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #39 on: March 09, 2014, 08:07:32 AM »
 Happy time change (for US folks) and guess who called?  Yep… Marina… she first called my landline and woke me up at sunrise.  A few minutes (and some coffee) later, I called her back on Skype.

Long story short: we talked for a while, calmly and (from me) respectfully.  She apologized and told me the entire story.  Basically she got drunk with her boss (who was an old f-buddy) and role played/f-ed him for old time's sake.  She didn't know about the camera and the video panicked her; she didn't know what to do.

She asked about my mother and kids.  I told her I had started seeing somebody (I lied.)  We made some more small talk, but while I was polite and friendly, I didn't encourage anything.

She realizes she burned her bridges and she will look for employment elsewhere.  I wished her well in her life going forward.

End of saga. 

Offline Gator

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #40 on: March 09, 2014, 12:52:12 PM »
Slingerland,

Thanks for returning and revealing the true version of your episode with a FSUW.   It was good that Marina confirmed the truth.

I have never been a fan of role playing, so I don't understand it, especially pretending to be forced to give a blowjob.   Even worse was Maxim's release of the videotape.   Marina and Maxim sound so kinky that I imagine Marina knew of the camera, and perhaps got some kicks from watching her tawdry performance. 

In summary, I imagine you are happy that you did not become more involved with such a woman. 

Offline Ranetka

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #41 on: March 10, 2014, 03:53:12 AM »
Slingerland,



In summary, I imagine you are happy that you did not become more involved with such a woman.

In summary maxim and marina fully deserve each other. He released the tape and she destroyed his career using false accusation and even engaging American customers HR. In short i think topic starter is lucky to get rid of such woman and should buy maxim a drink or two.
There are shortcuts to happiness and dancing is one of them.

I do resent the fact that most people never question or think for themselves. I don't want to be normal. I just want to find some other people that are odd in the same ways that I am. OP.

Offline Ranetka

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #42 on: March 10, 2014, 03:55:31 AM »
By the way i wouldn't be surprised if m&m never had stopped being fuck buddies. ( i mean prior the tape release)
« Last Edit: March 10, 2014, 09:02:53 AM by Ranetka »
There are shortcuts to happiness and dancing is one of them.

I do resent the fact that most people never question or think for themselves. I don't want to be normal. I just want to find some other people that are odd in the same ways that I am. OP.

Offline Gator

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #43 on: March 10, 2014, 06:59:33 AM »
In short i think topic starter is lucky to get rid of such woman and should buy maxim a drink or two.

 :ROFL:

Offline lonedrake

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Re: What are your thoughts?
« Reply #44 on: March 10, 2014, 08:01:57 AM »
Quote
she destroyed his career using false accusation

Good point. I forgot about that part.

 

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