Russians have sex more often than US or UK people

[Turboguy]

having kids is a reason to get married at least for me....at 60 or 70 i don't think i'd want anymore kids...i'm much younger than that now and really would rather not have any more children now....


actually now that the subject has been broached...i'd like to hear a little from the older men that did get married because i'm curious what motivated them.


Fathertime!

You have had some input from Gator but I will add mine and it is the opposite of what a lot of the speculation is.

My situation is the opposite of what GQ said.  I was single for most of my 40's and 50's and got married for the second time in my mid 60's. 

   is there a difference with a man in his 30s and 40s deciding to be married compared to a man in his 60s and 70s deciding to be married? Then yes! IMHO, a massive San Andreas' fault-like difference between the two. As previously expressed upthread, a man 20 years younger have definitely far more rational and appreciable *reasons* getting married than a man 20 years his senior, IMHO. 

I would agree with that.  Although I got married in my 60's if any thing did happen to my current marriage I really don't think I would marry again. 

GQ, I assume your reply is the same as you posted above:   "But marriage just seem to be out of the question. To me, that'll be for nothing more than just sheer companionship and the fear of being alone since *sex* when you're 70 is just plain freaking gross if not downright comical."You and I have a different philosophy (imagine that).  If companionship and sex were the only variables, I would never have divorced.     Fear of being alone sounds like a maladjusted person; there is a huge difference between solitude and loneliness.  I do not get enough solitude,  yet I chose such.    I lived a single life for several years after the end of my 25-year marriage.  That was my litmus test.  I was happy, yet happier in a committed relationship.   Psychologists tell us that humans are hardwired to live as couples.  I believe it. 

1.  Sex,  That is probably a key motivator in most marriages.  Still marriage is a gamble.  I am sure many men when they marry do so with the expectations they will jump this hot gals body as often as they want and after a few years the gal has added 150 pounds and once every 6 months or so lets him have his fun as she stares at the wall bored and waiting for it to be over.  Is it gross to make love to a 70 year old.  Probably not for another 70 year old but yes, it could be with a big age difference but some seem to handle that just fine.  I can always recall watching two nice looking young guys rolling around on the floor punching each other over some fat ugly slob that I don't know why any guy in his right mind would want. 

2.  Fear of being alone.   Being alone never bothered me.  I like it.  But I also like being married.  I traveled a lot so I am used to being alone and actually need a little alone time.  Being single doesn't mean being alone either.  You can have someone to be with without being married.  Gator worded their being a "difference between solitude and loneliness" very well.  I enjoy solitude as well and am never lonely even if I am alone.  Of course that doesn't mean I don't miss her when I am away or she goes back to Russia.

3.  Companionship.   I think that was a factor.  I think the fact that I enjoyed being with my wife was a big factor in why I married her.  She is a terrific person and one I like, admire, respect and enjoy sharing time with. 

You do bring up an interesting topic about doing it for companionship.  How much companionship can someone expect from a person who was raised in a different culture and speaks a different language.   That is a lot of hurdles to overcome if it's just for companionship. 

That strikes me as strange.  I enjoy the part about her having been raised in a different culture.  I totally enjoy it.  Why would someone who does not get involved in this scene?

I think, for many, it's the wedding and romantic notions that feed the idea of marriage. 

I always thought the idea of a wedding being important was more the realm of a woman's thinking than a man.  I think most men just want to get it over with.  Personally I hate weddings at least my own.   I would have been quite happy to just visit a jp and get the thing done.  I actually think the last time we both would have been happier doing that but sort of got railroaded into a wedding by friends who wanted to help with the planning. 

having kids is a reason to get married at least for me....at 60 or 70 i don't think i'd want anymore kids.

That was one of the key motivators when I started my search in the FSU at age 52 or so but by the time I married my wife that was no longer a priority.  The reason I started looking in the FSU was that most of the women I met in the USA already had a pack of kids and at that point in my life I would have enjoyed more. 

[Maxx2]

LOL. Married for nearly 10 years now maxx, yes it will age you that much faster.

But if I ever find myself in my 60s-70s and still single, I'll be happy to be single and would likely be happy dating local talents. But generally, the only reason I can see men in their 60s/70s looking for marriage abroad will hardly be because of 'sex', at least the kind we all grew up knowing it to be,  but rather for long term care or the fear of dying alone and no one would even notice for a month or so. Just IMO.

But I'm glad you're forever, er what, 40s?

I just turned the big 6-Oh this Spring and it's so true what you said. Not about the sex part with me though. If I don't watch what I'll say here I'll become BillyBeed   


I had someone tell me the 3 things that cause people to marry are sex, children and companionship, in that order. Of course some of the 'wife hunters' as you call them don't want the second, forget about the last and concentrate on the first. I had another someone tell me, a person who ran a marriage agency that half of their clients were impotent. That they broached this subject with the agency and had this agency make arraingments with their women clients that sex was off the table. Can you imagine that? And guess what quite a few marriages were arraigned under that condition. I know this one lawyer richer than God that has a young beautiful Russian wife. He told me of the glories of being married to a RW. How the wife would invite all her RW friends over and they would lounge around the pool and play load music. He loved it. Of course he was one of those guys. I heard some more salatious details that I won't get into.


As far settling for local gals my bet you wouldn't. You are used to being married to a gorgeous RW. Old coots don't find gorgeous and relatively young (late 40s early 50s) women to marry them. And yes staying single you do run the risk of dying alone and getting eaten by your cat. So you would do what I plan to do. Go back to the FSU and find another gorgeous women in her late forties early fifties whose kids have lives of their own.







age 50





Age 52





Age 50





Age 52 for those who like Don Draper's wife from Mad Men.  Yeah I know women like this exist here in America but those not taken have Decamillionaires lined up around the block to marry them or they have become cougars and have 20 year old boyfriends.Maxx

[Maxx2]

People from the FSU are just sexier than us.

I've always wondered what you looked liked. From your avatar you look like a chubby Wayne Newton. 

[Maxx2]

*sex* when you're 70 is just plain freaking gross if not downright comical.

just plan on turning off the light before hand.

[Larry1]

Maxx,
Oh, just when your photos of lovely 50-something FSUW had driven from my mind that awful image of the naked jabba the hut looking guy 

The last FSUW pictured above, with the gorgeous, glossy dark hair is beautiful.

[lordtiberius]

I've always wondered what you looked liked. From your avatar you look like a chubby Wayne Newton. 

Fat as I am, I tell you what I don't need.



How about you?

Russians make me horny

[Maxx2]

100% True!! All the women I have met have been sex maniacs:))) Many in the UK are lucky to have sex once a month Hell Im never going to go back there to live

I am glad for you. I really am.

[Maxx2]

Fat as I am, I tell you what I don't need.



How about you?

If I get any bigger I'll need to add a few more xx's to my name. Unlike some people have no animosity to the "overweight" or "heavy set". What did Shakespeare say about the lean? Never trust them.

[LiveFromUkraine]

That strikes me as strange.  I enjoy the part about her having been raised in a different culture.  I totally enjoy it.  Why would someone who does not get involved in this scene?

If you took my whole statement in context, you would understand communication is what I was talking about.  GQ understood exactly what I was talking about. 

If I want to learn a new culture it wouldn't be by marrying a woman from that culture.  I certainly wouldn't be thinking how I enjoy reading Russian literature and I should marry someone from Russia because of it.  For me, at least, it is about the specific person, not where she is from.

Like GQ, I also missed the little nuances of being able to say something that was more culturally specific and having my partner understand.  I enjoyed that type of banter and jokes.  Someone who knows where you're coming from without you having to explain everything in details only to continue seeing a blank look staring back at you in confusion.

It's just easier.  It was night and day when my marriage ended and I start dating locally. 

Sexy accents are fun and all, but if we are talking about long term companionship, then someone who understands you is far more important.  Being at the ripe age of 70 gives you less time to form that with someone from a completely different culture who thinks very differently to you and speaks a completely different language.

I always thought the idea of a wedding being important was more the realm of a woman's thinking than a man.  I think most men just want to get it over with.  Personally I hate weddings at least my own.   I would have been quite happy to just visit a jp and get the thing done.  I actually think the last time we both would have been happier doing that but sort of got railroaded into a wedding by friends who wanted to help with the planning. 

I was the same as GQ where I missed being able to make jokes or comments that would be considered cultural based and have my partner understand what I was talking about.  Being with someone with a sexy accent is fun and all but you miss the nuances of someone that understand where you're coming from without having to try and explain in detail.

It's just easier.

Romantic notions are not gender based.  You may have missed that in my comments or simply decided to concentrate on the wedding portion.  Either way, weddings are not always about the woman and man but also about their families and friends. 

[Maxx2]

Maxx,
Oh, just when your photos of lovely 50-something FSUW had driven from my mind that awful image of the naked jabba the hut looking guy 

The last FSUW pictured above, with the gorgeous, glossy dark hair is beautiful.

Heck they are all beautiful. Finding the right woman to marry is like shooting a rifle at long range. You got to account for windage, leading a moving target and most important bullet drop. Think where you are going to be 10 or 20 years from now and where she will be. GQ married his wife when she was 20 or 21. He was 40. 10 years later she's the same age as KenC's wife when she wanted to have children. Now if GQ and wife get busy and start a family he will be able attend his son or daughter's High School graduation when he is 70. IMO that is just fine but for some that would be off the table (BTW I like GQ even though we have gotten on each other's nerves at time). Remember the late actor Tony Randall? Tony was married to the same women for close to 50 years. She couldn't have children. Then she died. Then Tony meets a much younger women in her 20's. She wanted children. So they had some when he was 77. I remember the most touching thing I ever seen on the Tonight Show was Tony so proud of his children. He was video taping himself for his children for when he would be gone. Jim Rogers the billionaire investor and former partner of Soros also married a young women. He is very proud of his two young daughters. In fact wrote a book to them about his advice. So I am very liberal about these May-September/October/November/December marriages. Some of these marriages are better than the May/May ones. However for me a October-August/September marriage makes more sense.



The part about children is at the minute mark. Beautiful family!
 


How do you post a youtube?


 

[Maxx2]

Like GQ, I also missed the little nuances of being able to say something that was more culturally specific and having my partner understand.  I enjoyed that type of banter and jokes.  Someone who knows where you're coming from without you having to explain everything in details only to continue seeing a blank look staring back at you in confusion.

That's why you have RWD.  Lets face a whole lot of married guys here use this board for intellectual stimulation that they can't get at home. That is why they post so often and with a lot of words.

Another factor to keep in mind is how deep you are. Some guys are as deep as a mud puddle and a trophy wife is all they need. Others have no problem with a compartmentalized relationship. The wife is there for everything else but the need to have profound and deep conversations with. Again that is where this place comes in.

[LiveFromUkraine]

That's why you have RWD.  Lets face a whole lot of married guys here use this board for intellectual stimulation that they can't get at home. That is why they post so often and with a lot of words.

Another factor to keep in mind is how deep you are. Some guys are as deep as a mud puddle and a trophy wife is all they need. Others have no problem with a compartmentalized relationship. The wife is there for everything else but the need to have profound and deep conversations with. Again that is where this place comes in.

It isn't even about deep conversations Maxx.  I am a firm believer you need different types of relationships in your life.  My father has no friends and is sort of a recluse.   He only has our family.  I don't think that is healthy.  I think having a group of people that you have common interests with is healthy. 


If guys are just after something to look at, well, then I understand why they would go out to FSU if they couldn't get the same at home.  I would hardly consider that companionship though.  I also can't imagine something like that lasting long to make the whole MOB process worth it. 


I think the idea for many is when you get to a certain age you want life to be relaxing and easy.  Living with someone you can't fully communicate with isn't what I would call relaxing and easy.  haha

[Maxx2]

It isn't even about deep conversations Maxx.  I am a firm believer you need different types of relationships in your life.  My father has no friends and is sort of a recluse.   He only has our family.  I don't think that is healthy.


If guys are just after something to look at, well, then I understand why they would go out to FSU if they couldn't get the same at home.  I would hardly consider that companionship though.  I also can't imagine something like that lasting long to make the whole MOB process worth it. 


I think the idea for many is when you get to a certain age you want life to be relaxing and easy.  Living with someone you can't fully communicate with isn't what I would call relaxing and easy.  haha

I was involved with 2 RW one of which I married. The marriage didn't last but communications wasn't the problem. Frankly it's hard to find any woman that is easy to relax with. I am not one to advocate big age differences but I did notice with my 14 1/2 age difference when she became irritated and excitable I didn't become the same. There was a little bit of truth in my Thread: "Maxx's rules of marital success by "being the man" with a RW wife." Boy did I catch hell especially from some RW here on this board.


http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=544.msg9844#msg9844

[LiveFromUkraine]

I was involved with 2 RW one of which I married. The marriage didn't last but communications wasn't the problem. Frankly it's hard to find any woman that is easy to relax with. I am not one to advocate big age differences but I did notice with my 14 1/2 age difference when she became irritated and excitable I didn't become the same. There was a little bit of truth in my Thread: "Maxx's rules of marital success by "being the man" with a RW wife." Boy did I catch hell especially from some RW here on this board.


http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=544.msg9844#msg9844

Based on my experiences, I have had relations with some really cool women who were easy going.  I think living with anyone will eventually get on your nerves.  Hell, my dog gets on my nerves sometimes and you can't get more easy going than him.


Any problems I had in relationships always stemmed from communication or the lack of.  I guess I shouldn't make absolute statements like always but that has been true for the most part.

[TomT]

... since *sex* when you're 70 is just plain freaking gross... 

In some cases, sex when you're forty is just plain freaking gross...

[BillyB]

Frankly it's hard to find any woman that is easy to relax with.

Besides conquering the challenges of finding a sincere women, something your ex wasn't based on the way she screwed you outside of the bedroom, you must find a woman who have the same beliefs you embrace. Over the years since we've been on the forum, we've had differences in politics, who's to blame in 9/11, and recently over America's intentions in Ukraine being good or bad. You and I can have a disagreement and still get along on the internet but we probably couldn't live under the same roof everyday because we are too different. Others who disagree aren't as friendly to each other as you and I have been in disagreements. Imagine living with a person who gets hostile when you disagree with them?


Humans have a tendency to believe when they are right about an issue, they are morally right and anybody that disagrees is simply dumb or evil. Just look at the way some of the disagreements on the forum get personal and escalate. Imagine being married to a woman who believes you're dumb and evil or you believe she is dumb and evil. Life is going to get rough. With the compressed time in deciding to get married among international relationships, it's inevitable some people will marry the wrong stranger.


Maxx, some of your world beliefs are in the minority and so the difficulty of finding a woman in the minority increases. There is a woman out there in this world for you. Just make sure you convey many of your beliefs and figure out a woman's before deciding to marry. I've been a very happy man being single but I always realized with the right woman in an exclusive relationship, I'd be more happy, healthier, and a better man. It's not a requirement but no matter what my age and where I'm at in life, I'm always open to marriage.

[Maxx2]

Good to see you TomT. Would you consider starting a family like Tony Randall did at 77?

[Maxx2]

Maxx, some of your world beliefs are in the minority and so the difficulty of finding a woman in the minority increases. There is a woman out there in this world for you. Just make sure you convey many of your beliefs and figure out a woman's before deciding to marry. I've been a very happy man being single but I always realized with the right woman in an exclusive relationship, I'd be more happy, healthier, and a better man. It's not a requirement but no matter what my age and where I'm at in life, I'm always open to marriage.

Your points before the above quote are good. The one above I quoted I think my world belief of the level of America's rightiousness are more similar to most RW than are yours. I've gotten all kinds high fives from RW in PM since I stated my opinion. I do not see America as represented by it's government as beloved all over the world. We mostly were at one time but that capital got spent with the rise of the neo-cons during the George H.W. Bush administration. Since then its been one government after another's overthrow. Remember neo-cons are not just Republicans. They are all those folks Eisenhower warned us about.

[GQBlues]

...
As far settling for local gals my bet you wouldn't. You are used to being married to a gorgeous RW. Old coots don't find gorgeous and relatively young (late 40s early 50s) women to marry them. And yes staying single you do run the risk of dying alone and getting eaten by your cat. So you would do what I plan to do. Go back to the FSU and find another gorgeous women in her late forties early fifties whose kids have lives of their own...

maxx-

It is safe for me to say that much of our perspective today were shaped and borne from our respective past experiences. I never had problems with the local gals. Not their nuances, not their attractiveness. Now I'm speaking from my vantage point, hence my personal views and outlook. You have no idea what I experienced when I was single living where I'm at, nor do I yours. So in a way I can understand your opinion. Personally I've had far more than my share in delighting myself as a single male living on a coastal enclave in Los Angeles all my adult life. Gorgeous women are a dime a dozen. We receive planeloads and shiploads of supplies of the type year in and year out here in LA. Couple that with the fact I was never inhibited, not especially in the company of women, I live my life with the perspective I do that obviously vastly differ from yours.

I think if I remember correctly, I was the one who planted the idea of you going to FSU and 'living' there. As the other option just didn't seem to fit and/or suit you. I thought for someone like you, all things considered, that would be something you can reap benefits from. But I caution you, there are perils in moving to a land foreign to you, in hopes to relate to women foreign to you, in your attempt to find your comfort - and ultimately yourself. For me, I no longer need to do that.

So, you'd look at my perspective and ask, "What's wrong with him? Why can't he see the benefits in doing this?". I look at you and ask, "What's wrong with him? How men like him have a need to do this?" So when all is said and done, it's just your basic and simple trait that people do - projection.

So no, it won't bother me a bit if I'm in my 60s - 70s and single. Because to me, if I still have to seek happiness and contentment in life through someone else by the time I'm in my 60s-70s, I must sorely missed so much of life before to be in that predicament in the twilight of my life today. That's much too compromising to me. Let's face it, the odds are, and will be, stacked so much against you for the simple reason you don't have much time left. The chances are greater that person would find himself 'settling' more often than not. If you never found it in your younger years when you were full of life, time and vitality, what makes you think you have a better chance of doing so when you no longer have any of the above?

So in your case, maxx...I'm just tossing you caution to the wind since you're planning on doing this outside of your environment and element. I'm not saying it's either right or wrong. All I'm saying is, air-brushed pictures of people you do not know shouldn't be the driving impetus of your life's direction. IMHO.

...That's why you have RWD.  Lets face a whole lot of married guys here use this board for intellectual stimulation that they can't get at home. That is why they post so often and with a lot of words....

 LOL! Are you nuts? Maybe with Sandro and a couple of other posters, but by and large, intellectual stimulation and RWD is an oxymoron.

[GQBlues]

In some cases, sex when you're forty is just plain freaking gross...

Well, since the appearance of jmana, I didn't realize sex in your 20s can also be defined as 'gross'.

[Maxx2]

GQ, I appreciate your observations and wise words. Believe me I do recognize the risks I would be facing giving this a go again. I get nervous just thinking about it.


The facts of my situation is my life is about to change next year. I am in the process of closing down my business and transferring it over to one of my clients. It will be 25 years of self-employed busting butt. Exactly what I will do and where I will live after that I do not know. I thought of being an expat in Ukraine and possibly Moldova or both. Of course some people think sexpat but that would be counter to my goal of finding Mrs Right. At least in the way I handle and see things.


In regard to filing a wife need my background is a lot different than yours. Remember married at age 19. 29 years of marriage (Do the math) with it being my only relationship. Then the divorce. Then off to Russia. Then the next divorce 5 weeks after my fiftieth birthday. Again do the math. I know how time flies. There is things I would like to experience before I take my last breath. Place to go things to do. It would real nice to have an attractive wife share this with me.



"Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age"

Victor Hugo

[Maxx2]

 LOL! Are you nuts? Maybe with Sandro and a couple of other posters, but by and large, intellectual stimulation and RWD is an oxymoron.

I wasn't referring to someone with the magnitude of intellect of yours...

[Turboguy]

Yes, it has to be tough being smarter than everyone else.     
I find both my RW and RWD to reasonably intellectually stimulating. 

[BillyB]

I've gotten all kinds high fives from RW in PM since I stated my opinion.

Some of those ladies liked what you said but do they respect you?


Do you respect those women when they look down at America and praise their country? Sure you do but the difference is you'd look down at America and praise their country. How can it be a difference when it's the same thing? The difference is you see them as patriotic and they don't see you in the same light.


It's hard to respect people when they bad mouth their job, their parents and their country. It's hard to respect people when they disrespect any person or organization that helped them grow. My wife can talk about a lot of things that are wrong in Ukraine but she's still patriotic and recognizes the good things. She also recognizes America has done many good things to be where it's at for so many people to enjoy life. She's lived here 2 1/2 years now and she considers herself more American than Ukrainian which tells me she enjoys living here and is proud of the country.


Based on some of your beliefs, you may be a good fit to live in the FSU. You've contemplated the thought but of course women living in the FSU may view you differently. They'd question your state of mind for choosing FSU over America since.... you do have a choice. Unless you're wealthy, you'd have a hard time competing against the local men and winning over a very FSU patriotic woman, a woman that you feel is a perfect fit since she shares many of your beliefs.


If you chose to bring home an FSU woman that hates America, it's not wise. How many stories we read here about a man marrying a woman who hates the place she's living in or government she's living under? It's never good.


Although you got some high fives from some ladies, you still have earn their respect. When you tell the ladies what you don't like about America, add a few things you do like. One thing I learned it's not a problem to disagree with a lady even if she doesn't like to hear it because you can still earn respect and if she respects you, she can love you long time.

[Maxx2]

Yes, it has to be tough being smarter than everyone else.     
I find both my RW and RWD to reasonably intellectually stimulating.

But that's just us. What did Groucho Marx say? "I do not want to belong to a club that would have me as a member."