Ok guys here is a decent question for you..

[GreginGa]

Is it wrong to wonder or be curious as to what might have happened to a girl that you visited twice  and wrote many letters to?? Dont get me wrong,I'm as happily married as a man could be...I met my wife while on the way to see this girl...I knew it was over within minutes after talking to this girl that is now my wife...I know the other gril would've made someone a great wife. She was a good girl. I thought she might be a little crazy at the time but as it turned out that was about normal for a UW...As it turned out our last few days together was not good....We got robbed kinda in Yalta at the Shallows Nest and I just really felt like it was because she didnt listen to me at the time she engaged in the process that got us robbed of about $100...I never spoke to her after I left her and her family at the trainstation in Kharkov..She wrote me a letter and I wrote her one back that wished her the best in life and love....

The thing is she was a nice girl and I would never call just to ask how she was doing,but I meet some decent guys that go to Ukraine that might be interested..The pictures she posted were a little old but she was still a cute girl and a very very good girl. A no sex until marriage girl. That had nothing to do with us not making it..I was new to the process and like I said I knew I would marry my wife the moment I met her..I have always felt bad for how that whole thing turned out for this girl...I wouldnt say she deserved better,but in a way she did. I never used her. I never really lied to her,but I always felt sorry for her. Well while cleaning out a closet I found her telephone number to her mothers house. I cant call and say"Hello Diana, how's it going? how's life? I'm very happily married now with a kid on the way. I'm sorry to hear that you havent or whatever"....I think of myself as a nice guy and I honestly hope she is doing well and I would kinda like to know. Any suggestions???

[PeeWee]

Is it wrong to wonder or be curious as to what might have happened to a girl that you visited twice  and wrote many letters to?? Dont get me wrong,I'm as happily married as a man could be...I met my wife while on the way to see this girl...I knew it was over within minutes after talking to this girl that is now my wife...I know the other gril would've made someone a great wife. She was a good girl. I thought she might be a little crazy at the time but as it turned out that was about normal for a UW...As it turned out our last few days together was not good....We got robbed kinda in Yalta at the Shallows Nest and I just really felt like it was because she didnt listen to me at the time she engaged in the process that got us robbed of about $100...I never spoke to her after I left her and her family at the trainstation in Kharkov..She wrote me a letter and I wrote her one back that wished her the best in life and love....

The thing is she was a nice girl and I would never call just to ask how she was doing,but I meet some decent guys that go to Ukraine that might be interested..The pictures she posted were a little old but she was still a cute girl and a very very good girl. A no sex until marriage girl. That had nothing to do with us not making it..I was new to the process and like I said I knew I would marry my wife the moment I met her..I have always felt bad for how that whole thing turned out for this girl...I wouldnt say she deserved better,but in a way she did. I never used her. I never really lied to her,but I always felt sorry for her. Well while cleaning out a closet I found her telephone number to her mothers house. I cant call and say"Hello Diana, how's it going? how's life? I'm very happily married now with a kid on the way. I'm sorry to hear that you havent or whatever"....I think of myself as a nice guy and I honestly hope she is doing well and I would kinda like to know. Any suggestions???

I am still in contact from time to time with the last three RW that I had dated. One has called me within the last two months. One has emailed me within the last week and another I spoke to on the phone in the last two months. Somehow, even though I manage to break up with them, I retain the friendship. I am pretty good about convincing them that while they don't need to be my lover anymore they can still be my friend. I was told never to burn a bridge.

Oh...as you might have guessed it. The x and mother of my son and I are very good friends. What is down right weird is that she and her husband come by for dinner every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and 4th of July. That is just me and in my own way I keep track of everyone. There were all my friends and just because I went a different direction than they did it did not end a prefectly good friendship. I sort of that if folks can get beyond their ego and pride that they can get along just fine with their ex anyones.

Peewee

[Michelangelo]

Is it wrong to wonder or be curious as to what might have happened to a girl that you visited twice  and wrote many letters to??... Well while cleaning out a closet I found her telephone number to her mothers house. I cant call and say"Hello Diana, how's it going? how's life? I'm very happily married now with a kid on the way. I'm sorry to hear that you haven't or whatever"....I think of myself as a nice guy and I honestly hope she is doing well and I would kinda like to know. Any suggestions???

DON'T CALL HER.  FSU girls are very jealous!  I mentioned to my fiancee that my old gf wanted to meet her in Kiev, and she almost ripped my eyes out!  Told me to NEVER write or call this girl again.  You know, I like her resonse.  It shows she cares for me.

So if YOUR WIFE finds out you called an old flame, you are dead meat! Don't do it! Not worth the risk, GreginGa

[Michelangelo]

The pictures she posted were a little old but she was still a cute girl and a very very good girl. A no sex until marriage girl.

No sex until marriage?  Those words are a big red flag.
 
No, I don't know her, but if a girl is really "into you" she will have sex with you--she won't be able NOT to.
FSU girls like sex and if they like you will usually have sex with you around or before the third "date."  Morals are different there so it's ok to them...

Typically, agency girls who are social daters won't have sex with the idiots who come to meet them.  You pay for the date but not for sex.  So if a girl says no sex until marriage I suspect she is playing the guy...

[PeeWee]

DON'T CALL HER.  FSU girls are very jealous!  I mentioned to my fiancee that my old gf wanted to meet her in Kiev, and she almost ripped my eyes out!  Told me to NEVER write or call this girl again.  You know, I like her resonse.  It shows she cares for me.

So if YOUR WIFE finds out you called an old flame, you are dead meat! Don't do it! Not worth the risk, GreginGa

I was walking down 5th avenue last July with my  RW of the time. She asked me how my former girlfriend was doing. She knew about her and that I stayed in touch with her. I told her that she was doing fine, but not that she was about to get married. All she said in a low voice was, "I will kill her."  Man! That is some jealousy and humor all wrapped into one.

Peewee

[BillyB]

Greg,

I'm sure the woman is doing fine without you. The worst that can happen if you called is that she will want to maintain contact with you occasionally. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose. Phone and e-mail records can get you in trouble. How would you feel if your wife wanted to contact a man back home that she once dated. You'd probably feel like she's getting ready to replace you.

[TomT]

Greg,

You should outsource that job to someone else. Finding a suitable candidate will be a daunting challenge, though.

[PeeWee]

Greg,

I'm sure the woman is doing fine without you. The worst that can happen if you called is that she will want to maintain contact with you occasionally. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose. Phone and e-mail records can get you in trouble. How would you feel if your wife wanted to contact a man back home that she once dated. You'd probably feel like she's getting ready to replace you.

So what you are saying, Billy, is that I am going to get in to trouble? Willikers.

Peewee

[Elen]

FSU girls like sex and if they like you will usually have sex with you around or before the third "date."  Morals are different there so it's OK to them...

How amazing Each time I read such boards I find out something new about our "morals" 

 I want to know about American morals in that matterr - no sex until marriage? what should be a number of date where sex ( if it happened) would be "moral" by American standard?


PS I don't believe in "friendship" with former lovers too and consider it's moral to ripped "his" eyes out and kill "her" for such contacts 

[Jooky]

what should be a number of date where sex ( if it happened) would be "moral" by American standard?''

In America, normally sex comes after the third drink.

[BC]

what should be a number of date where sex ( if it happened) would be "moral" by American standard?''

In America, normally sex comes after the third drink.

Yepper.. right around the third drink they start looking better..

[Jooky]

No no no... third drink for them. For you it's number six or eight.

[Shadow]

I am still in touch with two former girlfriends and my fiancee has no problem with that.They received recently some strange threatening letters with white powder...wonder who sent it 

[GreginGa]

No sex until marriage?  Those words are a big red flag.
 
No, I don't know her, but if a girl is really "into you" she will have sex with you--she won't be able NOT to.
FSU girls like sex and if they like you will usually have sex with you around or before the third "date."  Morals are different there so it's ok to them...

Typically, agency girls who are social daters won't have sex with the idiots who come to meet them.  You pay for the date but not for sex.  So if a girl says no sex until marriage I suspect she is playing the guy...
No red flags in this case. I would bet my life on it. I could've married this girl. I could've also done alot of things differently. There is no doubt she is doing fine without me,but then again you never know. Losing someone like me might have just sent her over the edge. She's probably in some asylum crying out my name. At least thats the effect I would like to think I brought to at least some of the girls I might have dated. LOL....I got very lucky with the 2 UW I dated...I was never asked for a dime for anything. Both were very humble,innocent,tall and pretty....I just hope the girl is doing well. She was a lawyer of sorts. Worked with the gov as a handwriting expert in different cases,both criminal and civil.....Like I said I just hope she is doing well.

[aikorob]

I remember reading a quote recently; (can't recall who said it)

"Men always remember the women they didn't sleep with; women always remember the men they did."


I agree with the outsourcing suggestion---you don't want to become    GregunderGa

[PeeWee]

How amazing Each time I read such boards I find out something new about our "morals" 

 I want to know about American morals in that matterr - no sex until marriage? what should be a number of date where sex ( if it happened) would be "moral" by American standard?


PS I don't believe in "friendship" with former lovers too and consider it's moral to ripped "his" eyes out and kill "her" for such contacts 

It would depend on the depth of a person's religious involvement. To be true to your believe in the strictest sense then it would most likely be immoral to have sex before marriage. Adultry is one of the 10 Commandments. Yet we have decided to pick and choose, as a society, which of those are important and which ones are not. Forget what God said, he is an old fart and doesn't know what he was talking about.  If there were a God I am sure he thought that all of his commandments were of equal importance. We become hypocritical when we decalre that it is wrong to murder someone yet it is prefectly ok to have sex with a married woman (that is a double sin, by the way) or to have sex before one is married.

Peewee

[Jooky]

Adultry is one of the 10 Commandments.

Adultery does not mean 'sex before marriage', it means 'sex with a married man or woman'.

You can't follow the rules if you don't know what they mean.

[Shadow]

Adultry is one of the 10 Commandments.

Adultery does not mean 'sex before marriage', it means 'sex with a married man or woman'.

You can't follow the rules if you don't know what they mean.

From Bruno's favourite site

Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

The person who is not married does not commit adultery they just have sex.

[TomT]

The issue of premarital sex is not addressed in the Ten Commandments.

[Jumper]

Greg-
out source any of that curiousity to a single guy! lol

he could then  call -
and she will either talk with him or not..
as it might well be she has moved on with her life and is happily married or involved as well?

[GreginGa]

Greg-
out source any of that curiousity to a single guy! lol

he could then  call -
and she will either talk with him or not..
as it might well be she has moved on with her life and is happily married or involved as well?

Well you know AJ thats what I hope has happened. I would really like to know she married and is doing well. She would be about 31 or 32 now. She lived with her mother. Her father had died when she was younger. She had a really good mother as well.  I know she is still very intelligent,very innocent,very humble and very much so still sticking to her values. No doubt about that. I could go into things that made me think she was crazy,but as it turned out she was about normal I guess.  I'm as happy as a pig in slop now,but I do wish her well.   Maybe it's because without her I never would've met my wife. I should really just send her a check every month and I'd still be way ahead and not feel just a little bit guilty as to how it ended.

[Markus]

Greg,

After reading your post and seeing the responses, I thought perhaps I missed something in the original post so I read it again 2 more times. Some of the responses seemed to focus upon your narration rather than the subject. I think it's normal to think about past relationships with a sentimental feeling and wondering about what could have happened. But, pardon my blunt response in that you would be a big idiot to even entertain your thoughts, yet alone acting them out, which is a possibility from the focus of her in your mind. I realize you have stated you would never contact her, but, if you continue to entertain those thoughts, I think you will contact her.  Dont' be a sentimental wuss and gear your sentiments to your wife. You made a committment; Act accordingly.

Mark

[KenC]

I think it is natural to wonder about past girlfriends and lovers, but you just don't go there for real. Hold on to your pleasant memories and respect the woman you have chosen.
KenC

[GreginGa]

Greg,

After reading your post and seeing the responses, I thought perhaps I missed something in the original post so I read it again 2 more times. Some of the responses seemed to focus upon your narration rather than the subject. I think it's normal to think about past relationships with a sentimental feeling and wondering about what could have happened. But, pardon my blunt response in that you would be a big idiot to even entertain your thoughts, yet alone acting them out, which is a possibility from the focus of her in your mind. I realize you have stated you would never contact her, but, if you continue to entertain those thoughts, I think you will contact her.  Dont' be a sentimental wuss and gear your sentiments to your wife. You made a committment; Act accordingly.

Mark

I think your reply was a bit judgemental considering that you dont know anything in the world about me. To insinuate that it would make me any less commited to my wife is rather idiotic in my opinion. I just simply hope and  would like to know she is doing well. If you had ever visited more than one girl then you might have a different opinion. I'll tell you what,as much as I appreciate people weighing in on a question,do me a favor and just stay out of any thread I might start.  You have a ways to go before you  should express such big opinions considering people whom you have never had the pleasure of meeting their acquaintance.  I've always thought "tact" was the ability to tell someone to go to hell and make them feel glad they're on their way"......I may think it would take a guy that belongs in an insane asylum to propose to a girl on his 1st visit,but I would never ever go a friendly forum and call him an idiot. Do me a favor OWW,go back and re-reread what has been written and then STFU.

[PeeWee]

I think your reply was a bit judgemental considering that you dont know anything in the world about me. To insinuate that it would make me any less commited to my wife is rather idiotic in my opinion. I just simply hope and  would like to know she is doing well. If you had ever visited more than one girl then you might have a different opinion. I'll tell you what,as much as I appreciate people weighing in on a question,do me a favor and just stay out of any thread I might start.  You have a ways to go before you  should express such big opinions considering people whom you have never had the pleasure of meeting their acquaintance.  I've always thought "tact" was the ability to tell someone to go to hell and make them feel glad they're on their way"......I may think it would take a guy that belongs in an insane asylum to propose to a girl on his 1st visit,but I would never ever go a friendly forum and call him an idiot. Do me a favor OWW,go back and re-reread what has been written and then STFU.

Like I said, I have maintained contact with my last three RW and with my the former Mrs Peewee. I don';t seem to be having, nor have I ever had a problem with it. I just don't rub anyone into anyone else's face. That might tend to hurt a feeling or cause a jealousy. My friends can email to me or call me if they wish. My ego is not so big my heart so could that I will turn my back on someone just because they were a former lover and now they are not. I can easily seperate the friend out of that mix and then carry on. It would be wrong for you to secrectly contact this woman and then carry on an under the table relationship with her but if you were open with your current love with it and if it was not causing her any visible distress over it then why not satisfy your mind?



Peewee