Questions FROM Russian Woman :)

[ML]

Yes we can.  Merely by chasing RW the reported fascination in some tribes for a big booty is dispelled given the prevalence of boney asses in the FSU.     

Not my experience.  I found neither big booty nor boney asses in FSU.  Mostly pretty standard equipment, given they were mostly slender.

Actually, I have a new standard now.

I have commented to Ochka on nice shape of some gals we see here.

But she rejected some, saying that the hips should always be somewhat wider than the shoulders.  I hadn't thought about that before, but now I see the reason because otherwise the shape can be more of a 'man' shape.  i.e. where hips are narrower than shoulders, even if only a tiny bit.

Before, I was drawn to narrow hipped gals . . . but now I must reject that and try to suppress my latent homo . . .

[2tallbill]

Yes, this forum generally has a lot of older people so you should take that in account when asking questions and receiving answers.

Welcome to the forum of the aged and geriatric  Don't worry, I'll try
not to make too much fun of your youth and inexperience 

I was young once and haven't totally forgotten about it, although I was glad when I
was old enough to date women who weren't so empty headed as the twenty somethings
that I dated back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. 

[Muzh]

Not my experience.  I found neither big booty nor boney asses in FSU.  Mostly pretty standard equipment, given they were mostly slender.

Actually, I have a new standard now.

I have commented to Ochka on nice shape of some gals we see here.

But she rejected some, saying that the hips should always be somewhat wider than the shoulders.  I hadn't thought about that before, but now I see the reason because otherwise the shape can be more of a 'man' shape.  i.e. where hips are narrower than shoulders, even if only a tiny bit.

Before, I was drawn to narrow hipped gals . . . but now I must reject that and try to suppress my latent homo . . .

You have an extremely intelligent woman. 

[LAman]

Not my experience.  I found neither big booty nor boney asses in FSU.  Mostly pretty standard equipment, given they were mostly slender.

Actually, I have a new standard now.

I have commented to Ochka on nice shape of some gals we see here.

But she rejected some, saying that the hips should always be somewhat wider than the shoulders.  I hadn't thought about that before, but now I see the reason because otherwise the shape can be more of a 'man' shape.  i.e. where hips are narrower than shoulders, even if only a tiny bit.

Before, I was drawn to narrow hipped gals . . . but now I must reject that and try to suppress my latent homo . . .

Maybe you should have concentrated more on narrower shoulders....so you didn't have to worry about such
w  i  d  e   hips!

Ever see the shoulders of many competitive swimmers???????

[ML]

You have an extremely intelligent woman. 

True, true. 

She is even so intelligent that she usually lets me think that I am the smartest.

[Gator]

Not my experience.  I found neither big booty nor boney asses in FSU.  Mostly pretty standard equipment, given they were mostly slender.

My experience as well: 

                 Big booty RW - Less than 1%

                 Boney assed RW -  5%, on the twiggy women some men find very attractive.   

My statement may thus seem like an exaggeration unless you consider a sense of relativity.  The popka of the average RW would seem boney in comparison to the booties of one particular tribe in the US.  Regarding another tribe, J Lopez certainly packs more kilos in her "behind cheeks" than the average RW. 

My tall Russian 16-yo stepson endeavoring to be  cool sometimes "allows" his trousers to slide down his hips.  It draws his mother's ire, and  he has to hold them or they would fall to the floor.  I explained to him that he has to hold them because he does not have a bulging popka.   

[Eximio]

Most western men are now wise to the pitfalls of searching for and getting married to an FSU woman.  There are a lot of advantages, but there are a lot of risks.

So, yeah, appearance is obviously important to a man from any culture and of any ethnicity.  American and European men are bombarded constantly with hyper-sexual images of women, so just having professional photos with tons of make-up is not all that impressive.  Much better to have natural photos in a natural environment, but with good lighting.  Show off your pretty face and physical assets in their natural beauty.  And, yes, it's good to have photos in bikinis because we do care about you having a nice body.  Think about it this way - There is no shortage of fat women in the West.  If we wanted that, we would just stay at home.

Also, remember that if we are looking in FSU, we like white women.  (That is not to disparage women with some color to their skin, it is just our preference and what we find attractive).  So, you are not doing yourself any favors having photos with a tan, a sun burn, etc.  We want to see that white skin and we don't want to think it is sun damaged.

The second screening is whether we think the woman is ONLY interested in getting to the west.  If that is her primary interest, and the guy gets a sense for this, unless he is a total loser he will dump the woman.  She might be good for sex on a visit to FSU, since she is trying to hook they guy, but that's all she is good for.  Plenty of men know this, so don't fool yourself.  We will likely be able to see through any act you put on.

Most men looking in FSU for a woman that actually want to marry will then be looking for an agreeable personality and some domestic skills.  And not just skills, but a genuine desire to make a nice home and a degree of enjoyment and satisfaction taken in doing so.  If we want career women, there are plenty of those in the west, so why bother going to FSU?  This does not mean that we don't appreciate intelligence and education.  Maybe some guys want dumb women, but most want a woman that is intelligent so she can adopt to a new culture, find her way around, get things done, and improve her English (or other European language).

We have also learned to screen for women that are going to do one or all of three things:
1)  Constantly want to travel home;
2)  Will find ways to take money and send it home to mom or dad or other family;
3)  Use their resident status in the US to bring family over.

I have dumped an otherwise wonderful FSU woman because I knew should could never let go of "home."  Of course, I don't want a woman that does not care about her family.  But she has to accept that moving West will change things dramatically.  I also knew that this woman would constantly being trying to find ways to send money home to her mother.  Why?  Because she previously had a Greek husband and she told me she did that.  Forget about trying to fool us, because we will figure out if you are going to use us as a bank account for your family back home.

Finally, if you are high maintenance, no amount of good looks and sexiness will compensate.  Enough FSU women have now come over to the West and caused problems for men that they have a reputation for being high maintenance.  I realize there are plenty of high quality women that have good values that would like to meet men from the West in search of a husband and a family.  But these early waves of FSU women went a bit crazy once they got into a consumer based economy with unlimited options to BUY STUFF. 

You should realize that Americans and most Europeans are inoculated against all the marketing in the West.  We do not get hooked easily by this stuff.  Even those of us with plenty of money are careful with our money, we don't like to waste it.  Most men in a happy marriage will happily spend money on their family.  They will get the nicest house they can afford and take good care of their wife and children - especially when it is clear the wife appreciates him for doing so.  But not many of us are going to buy a new car every year.  Not many of us are going to want to pay for a $1,000 a month "cosmetologist" bill.  Not many of us are going to want to pay for a shopping addiction. 

We appreciate attractive feminine women with good values and a home and family orientation.  We do not take such women for granted like men in your country do.  Most of us have good values and are not inclined to cheat on a good wife just to pump up our ego.  So, there are some major advantages for you.  You just have to be realistic about all these things I list above. 

[jone]

Most western men are now wise to the pitfalls of searching for and getting married to an FSU woman.  There are a lot of advantages, but there are a lot of risks.

So, yeah, appearance is obviously important to a man from any culture and of any ethnicity.  American and European men are bombarded constantly with hyper-sexual images of women, so just having professional photos with tons of make-up is not all that impressive.  Much better to have natural photos in a natural environment, but with good lighting.  Show off your pretty face and physical assets in their natural beauty.  And, yes, it's good to have photos in bikinis because we do care about you having a nice body.  Think about it this way - There is no shortage of fat women in the West.  If we wanted that, we would just stay at home.

Also, remember that if we are looking in FSU, we like white women.  (That is not to disparage women with some color to their skin, it is just our preference and what we find attractive).  So, you are not doing yourself any favors having photos with a tan, a sun burn, etc.  We want to see that white skin and we don't want to think it is sun damaged.

The second screening is whether we think the woman is ONLY interested in getting to the west.  If that is her primary interest, and the guy gets a sense for this, unless he is a total loser he will dump the woman.  She might be good for sex on a visit to FSU, since she is trying to hook they guy, but that's all she is good for.  Plenty of men know this, so don't fool yourself.  We will likely be able to see through any act you put on.

Most men looking in FSU for a woman that actually want to marry will then be looking for an agreeable personality and some domestic skills.  And not just skills, but a genuine desire to make a nice home and a degree of enjoyment and satisfaction taken in doing so.  If we want career women, there are plenty of those in the west, so why bother going to FSU?  This does not mean that we don't appreciate intelligence and education.  Maybe some guys want dumb women, but most want a woman that is intelligent so she can adopt to a new culture, find her way around, get things done, and improve her English (or other European language).

We have also learned to screen for women that are going to do one or all of three things:
1)  Constantly want to travel home;
2)  Will find ways to take money and send it home to mom or dad or other family;
3)  Use their resident status in the US to bring family over.

I have dumped an otherwise wonderful FSU woman because I knew should could never let go of "home."  Of course, I don't want a woman that does not care about her family.  But she has to accept that moving West will change things dramatically.  I also knew that this woman would constantly being trying to find ways to send money home to her mother.  Why?  Because she previously had a Greek husband and she told me she did that.  Forget about trying to fool us, because we will figure out if you are going to use us as a bank account for your family back home.

Finally, if you are high maintenance, no amount of good looks and sexiness will compensate.  Enough FSU women have now come over to the West and caused problems for men that they have a reputation for being high maintenance.  I realize there are plenty of high quality women that have good values that would like to meet men from the West in search of a husband and a family.  But these early waves of FSU women went a bit crazy once they got into a consumer based economy with unlimited options to BUY STUFF. 

You should realize that Americans and most Europeans are inoculated against all the marketing in the West.  We do not get hooked easily by this stuff.  Even those of us with plenty of money are careful with our money, we don't like to waste it.  Most men in a happy marriage will happily spend money on their family.  They will get the nicest house they can afford and take good care of their wife and children - especially when it is clear the wife appreciates him for doing so.  But not many of us are going to buy a new car every year.  Not many of us are going to want to pay for a $1,000 a month "cosmetologist" bill.  Not many of us are going to want to pay for a shopping addiction. 

We appreciate attractive feminine women with good values and a home and family orientation.  We do not take such women for granted like men in your country do.  Most of us have good values and are not inclined to cheat on a good wife just to pump up our ego.  So, there are some major advantages for you.  You just have to be realistic about all these things I list above.

A lot of the things he says is true.  But the idea that a woman shouldn't have a good sun tan is a load of crap.  It may be a personal preference, but it doesn't hold true across the board.  Any woman who clings to the inside of her home in fear of (my God!) getting some color will be immediately dumped by many guys.

I think a good profile has a mix of photos in a real environment and photos that are professionally done and show off a woman's best assets.  Many women get their profile shots taken for a company to use on a PPL/PPC site and then use them for their own purposes.  If the photoshoot is free (and I will have some detractors here) then many FSU women will accept the free shoot and disregard what the pictures are going to be used for.  In an environment where women do not have many resources, it may be one of the few methods for obtaining quality pictures.  Keep in mind that one of the things men will be looking for is to see if the woman is REAL.  So giving some pictures that show a local environment is important.

As for no high maintenance women, well, that is certainly an opinion that is offered.  By many standards, my woman would be high maintenance.  If you want to get a bargain basement babe, then I'm sure there are some women for you.  But I want someone who knows how to dress in designer clothes and look like I had just stolen her off the runway.  I am proud of the fact that my future wife is concerned about money, but I also like the fact that she requires the requisite amount of pampering to look her best.  In spite of this, my sweetheart would look great in a burlap sack.  She is that beautiful.

Each guy on here has his own opinion of who is the perfect bride.  The above poster does not speak for all of us, but he does offer a compelling personal opinion.

[Larry1]

Also, remember that if we are looking in FSU, we like white women.  (That is not to disparage women with some color to their skin, it is just our preference and what we find attractive).  So, you are not doing yourself any favors having photos with a tan, a sun burn, etc.  We want to see that white skin and we don't want to think it is sun damaged.

A lot of the things he says is true.  But the idea that a woman shouldn't have a good sun tan is a load of crap.  It may be a personal preference, but it doesn't hold true across the board. 

I'm with Jone on this issue.

And while it's true that the great majority of guys searching for FSUW will look only for white girls, not all of us do. The first FSUW I talked to after I began my search was Kazakh. I was interested in her, but things didn't go very far with us.

[GatoMoon]

My 1st question for you - why

AMERICAN man ?   Are you looking for your true love or because of nationality?


1. What attracts you in a photo of woman from the first sight?
Her looking good with herself, her smile.  I prefer natural photos than professional studio photo. 

2. How important are her height\weight for you?
Not important unless way too tall, way too short, way too skinny and way too fat

3. What lines in a dating profile are a turn off, and what makes you want to message her?
TURN OFF: "Copy and paste" letters, "poetic" letters (because they are most likely copy and paste letters), too much "dreamy" letters.  High maintenance girls,

4. Would you rather date\marry someone outdoorsy\outgoing, or do you prefer stay-at-home type?
I am more of stay-at-home type, but it doesn't mean all the men are.  If you are an outdoor type, then best to look for an outdoor man which means crossed out Donald Trump lol

5. How important are good cooking skills?
very important.  My ex-girlfriends were very lazy - never cooked as I had to do everything!

6. Should your (russian) wife work or be a house maid?
It is up to her, but I would prefer if she works at home or a housemaid rather than working for someone else, unless I live in Ukraine.  As I own fashion business, so she could be good at it

7. What questions you don't want to be asked (at least while dating)?
Obviously money talk, asking too many questions about my past relationships

8. How fast should your first meeting happen? Should she go to your country, or you should visit her?[/li][/list]
Men should always visit her country, in her city in the initial meeting.  Up to 3 months communication for the 1st meeting

9. Do you prefer if she wears comfy clothes (jeans, t-shirts etc) or skirts, dresses and high heels?
Being in the fashion business myself, I would prefer she wears fashionable clothing, but not high-end clothing though

[Betelgeuse]

    My 1st question for you - why AMERICAN man ?   Are you looking for your true love or because of nationality?

Because I like that Americans are hard-working, but at the same time they know how to chill and have fun and enjoy life in general after work. And they seem to be quite cheerful and friendly nation, which appeals to me.

Of course, every person is different but I think I am more likely to find someone like that in the US. Also, I know English and I am too lazy to learn another language if I meet someone from, say, France. And I think that life standards and the culture of US are suitable for me. Don't know much about lifestyle in other countries. So, that's why.




What would make you think she is high maintenance?

[mendeleyev]

We have also learned to screen for women that are going to do one or all of three things:
1)  Constantly want to travel home;
2)  Will find ways to take money and send it home to mom or dad or other family;
3)  Use their resident status in the US to bring family over.

Speak for yourself as "we" might not see eye to eye on these three.

1- You'd have to define "constantly" in order to be believable. Every couple of years? Every month? Every week? Every hour?

2- I have no problem how my wife, who is half of me by the way, spends money. She is fairly selfless, and I have never had an issue where or how she spends OUR money. I trust her. If she gives some to her mother, or an aunt, or a cousin, fine. We live on a planned budget and both are accountable to each other if we go off the reservation with the budget. That being said, because we're smart enough to use a budget, there is often excess cash at the end of the month.

3- My wife always wants to bring our two daughters who live in the USA to Russia. I tell her to let them live where they want to live, but I understand her wish to have everyone near us. That is normal.

[BillyB]

We have also learned to screen for women that are going to do one or all of three things:
1)  Constantly want to travel home;
2)  Will find ways to take money and send it home to mom or dad or other family;
3)  Use their resident status in the US to bring family over.

I have dumped an otherwise wonderful FSU woman because I knew should could never let go of "home." 

What kind of man are you? Are you okay if you never see your parents again? Are you okay with your parents suffering and living in poverty? Are you okay with your parents living in an unstable country when you have the opportunity to bring them to America? Get rid of any woman who's okay with any of that. Of course there are women who are trying to use you for their wallet but they aren't the only kind of women that care for family. Sincere women care for family too.

[GatoMoon]

Because I like that Americans are hard-working, but at the same time they know how to chill and have fun and enjoy life in general after work. And they seem to be quite cheerful and friendly nation, which appeals to me.

Are you saying British do not ???

[Betelgeuse]

We have also learned to screen for women that are going to do one or all of three things:
1)  Constantly want to travel home;
2)  Will find ways to take money and send it home to mom or dad or other family;
3)  Use their resident status in the US to bring family over.

umm almost every girl is high maintenance then except those who don't have family at all? 

[2tallbill]

    My 1st question for you - why AMERICAN man ?   Are you looking for your true love or because of nationality?
What would make you think she is high maintenance?

NOTE: I'm very happily married so my answers are regarding the time that
I was searching.

My definition of high maintenance had three parts.
1. Income: my income is what it is. If a woman wanted/needed to ride around in a
Lear Jet then she wouldn't be the girl for me.

2. Emotional: If a woman was all over the place emotionally and needed a high level
of constant work to keep happy then she wasn't the woman for me. All women need
attention. All women need emotional support from their husband. They especially need
this when getting adjusted to a new life. However with some women this seems like
work.   

3. Love: For me it had to be equal or very close to it. I wanted a woman who loved
me as much as I loved her.

I am very, very happy

Udachi!


Bill

[Betelgeuse]

So if she wants to buy some new clothes, because she didn't bring her wardrobe to your house and if she will need a car or language courses, or like 100-200 $ to send to her family that's okay? Though I am sure there always will be "men" who will call this high maintenance too.

[Boethius]

High maintenance may mean someone who wants designer clothing/high end make up/spa treatments, etc., but it can also mean someone who is needy.


Betelgeuse, just be yourself.  What you can get advice on here is how to present your profile to attract attention.  Nothing more.


Successful marriages (by that I mean "til death do us part) usually require common goals and common outlooks on life.

[Betelgeuse]

Well I am at least glad to know I am not high maintenance 😂

[Anotherkiwi]

A lot of the things he says is true.  But the idea that a woman shouldn't have a good sun tan is a load of crap.  It may be a personal preference, but it doesn't hold true across the board.  Any woman who clings to the inside of her home in fear of (my God!) getting some color will be immediately dumped by many guys.

I'm with Jone on this issue.

This depends very much on where the lady will live.  New Zealand and Queensland (Australia) are the melanoma capitals of the world, so immigrants (of any kind) need to learn really quickly that you CANNOT simply go and lie out in the sun without protection in the same way that you can in so many places in the Northern Hemisphere.  While you guys in the States may simply get a nasty sunburn, here it could possibly be fatal in the long term.  That's something which everyone needs to be wary of.

Think back to the photos msmobyone posted of Svetik Coral on their cruise around the Mediterranean - most people here would be horrified if they saw anyone burnt to that sort of colour.  I posted something to that effect in that thread.  Believe me, it happened when I was a kid of about 10, and I lost half the skin on my chest.  Looking back, I can't believe just how damn stupid I was.  I was just lucky that I suffered no further complications. 

[zooble]

    My 1st question for you - why AMERICAN man ?   Are you looking for your true love or because of nationality?

Because I like that Americans are hard-working, but at the same time they know how to chill and have fun and enjoy life in general after work. And they seem to be quite cheerful and friendly nation, which appeals to me.

How did you come by this perception? I hope not TV shows and Hollywood movies 

Of course, every person is different but I think I am more likely to find someone like that in the US. Also, I know English and I am too lazy to learn another language if I meet someone from, say, France. And I think that life standards and the culture of US are suitable for me. Don't know much about lifestyle in other countries. So, that's why.

There are so many English speaking countries? A lot of European countries have bi-lingual people with English usually one of the languages they know. Even most people in France speak English even though they do not like to. There is also the UK. Flights are cheap and distance is not as great as for example USA or Australia. This means that more men from there can meet you more often which means more chances to meet someone you like.

As for lifestyle I think that would vary greatly depending on the man's demographics...

[alex330]

So if she wants to buy some new clothes, because she didn't bring her wardrobe to your house and if she will need a car or language courses, or like 100-200 $ to send to her family that's okay? Though I am sure there always will be "men" who will call this high maintenance too.

If the man is normal that should be fine. These are things to talk about with him before you arrive. In regards to clothing it is better to buy new clothes once you arrive anyways as it is cheaper in most cases than shipping costs. It will also give you something to do while you become accustomed to your new home.

Another question, would you mind if she is a beet geeky (online games, comics, tv shows etc, books)?

A good looking gamer or geek girl will definitely be desirable to some guys. It is the new cool.

[Gator]

This depends very much on where the lady will live.  New Zealand and Queensland (Australia) are the melanoma capitals of the world, so immigrants (of any kind) need to learn really quickly that you CANNOT simply go and lie out in the sun without protection in the same way that you can in so many places in the Northern Hemisphere.  While you guys in the States may simply get a nasty sunburn, here it could possibly be fatal in the long term.  That's something which everyone needs to be wary of.

Yes, and wear sun screen lotion.   Many RW I knew avoided sun between 10 am and 3 pm. 

I understand the distance from the sun is significantly shorter in NZ vs. the States.  Nevertheless,  regarding the initiation of skin cancer, I thought the different natural  immunities of various peoples to skin cancer was more important rather than  the locale.   

Solar radiation will mutate cells,  and some people's immune system performs better in destroying the mutated cells before the initiation of cancer.   Thus, an unprotected Northern European in NZ has a higher probability of getting skin cancer than say someone from the Med.  What is the difference in incidence between Mauri people and NZeders descended from British stock? 

[Miquel Westano]

As for no high maintenance women, well, that is certainly an opinion that is offered.  By many standards, my woman would be high maintenance.  If you want to get a bargain basement babe, then I'm sure there are some women for you.  But I want someone who knows how to dress in designer clothes and look like I had just stolen her off the runway.  I am proud of the fact that my future wife is concerned about money, but I also like the fact that she requires the requisite amount of pampering to look her best.  In spite of this, my sweetheart would look great in a burlap sack.  She is that beautiful.

She is that beautiful.  And you are right to say by many people's standards when you speak of definitions.  There is no doubt the definition of high maintenance would be different for almost everyone.  Nothing I have read makes me think your fiancé is "high maintenance" or greedy.  She enjoys a nice lifestyle and almost anyone here would too, including me, if it were within their means. 

My definition of high maintenance would be:

1.  Someone who constantly spent money on trivial items of momentary importance.

2.  Who soon tired of these, and quickly replaced them with other items of momentary desire.

3.  Who repeated this cycle over and over in an attempt to buy happiness.

4.  Who allowed this to  cause financial hardship and stress for their partner. 

5.  Who realized they were living a lifestyle not sustainable and yet did not care as their short term entertainment needs would be more important to them than long term consequences.

That's just what I think of.  I am not saying it is the correct definition ala Webster.  But clearly you are right Jone, we all have a different definition.  But just being able to live the good life and enjoying it, is not automatically high maintenance.

Just for reference, visiting and taking care of family, is hardly trivial.  I don't give a damn if I married a superstar, beauty queen, billionaire or a pauper.  I'd find a way to go home and visit family.  The frequency may vary and I may have to shop online for standby rather than fly first class or private jet.  But I'd be scared of anyone who could leave their old friends and family and not care.

[SANDRO43]

I understand the distance from the sun is significantly shorter in NZ vs. the States.

How so ?