Is it usual for Ukrainian Women to be inaffectionate when starting relationship?

[Trenchcoat]

So like not much physical body contact, not meaning sex here, but no real kissing, holding each other, holding hands even. Friendly, not expressionless just no real physical contact as we would normally expect in the west.

[JayH]

Yes.
What age are you? She?

[mhr7]

So like not much physical body contact, not meaning sex here, but no real kissing, holding each other, holding hands even. Friendly, not expressionless just no real physical contact as we would normally expect in the west.

I don't think it's unusual for an FSU woman to be a careful and cautious in the beginning of a relationship. I think you need to take a good look at how much attention she gives you, how excited she is to be with you and how much chemistry there is between you. If everything outside of a physical relationship is going really well then don't worry about it too much.

[Trenchcoat]

Yes.
What age are you? She?

Say 30s,  she a few years younger than me.

[Trenchcoat]

I don't think it's unusual for an FSU woman to be a careful and cautious in the beginning of a relationship. I think you need to take a good look at how much attention she gives you, how excited she is to be with you and how much chemistry there is between you. If everything outside of a physical relationship is going really well then don't worry about it too much.

Yeah I guess there is that though I sometimes wonder if she is friendly to everyone as perhaps she's uncharacteristically Ukrainian in public, smiles a lot, lol. I enjoy being with her but leaves me wondering when if ever it might pick up. Think maybe she is a little conservative, I don't mind that as its quite nice in a way so just figuring her out I guess.

[Shadow]

No. It means she is not in to you. Have a kitchen table chat with her that you feel she just wants to be friends, see how she reacts and move on.

[Trenchcoat]

No. It means she is not in to you. Have a kitchen table chat with her that you feel she just wants to be friends, see how she reacts and move on.

Could be, yeah I've spoken to her about it as I like to know where I stand, she says it takes her a while with people (I understand this as we have only just met in person recently). Like I say I think she's a little conservative steady going type, not really the nightclubbling sort. Anyway she said friends just for now and see. In truth it wasn't supposed to be a full on trip, though obviously we both joined site for relationship. We get on well together, we both say that, she seems happy and smiles a lot, her eyes gleam a lot though I'm never quite sure if she's usually like this or just with me. I think I'll have to see how thing go when I get back afterwards see how she is/feels. I know what your saying that she may not be interested  (or maybe her taking time is why she's still single as guys think she's not interested idk) I'll have to accept that as a possibility here I think. Still enjoyed the trip anyway and she's a really nice girl so happy with that.

[2tallbill]

So like not much physical body contact, not meaning sex here, but no real kissing, holding each other, holding hands even. Friendly, not expressionless just no real physical contact as we would normally expect in the west.

No,

That is friend zone stuff. If an FSUW is into you, you will know. She will
touch you 486 times per day (or more). If you get the friend zone vibe
move on. The sooner you move on the sooner you will have a girl touching
you 486 times per day.

If you go all the way to the FSU to meet a girl, especially if you are going to
visit only her, she may feel obligated to show you around and she might not
want to tell you that she's not interested or to let you down lightly etc. If there
isn't mutual attraction and chemistry, you have to move on. I know it's difficult
I've certainly been in that situation.

Udachi!

Bill

[Faux Pas]

It's definitely not a good sign but, there could be some variables to explain it. How much have you been with and around her? Has she had time get comfortable with you? Some women take a bit more time than others and if she is progressing, it isn't anything to be concerned with. Is she just more reserved in public?

If you've been with her a couple of days and nights and she is still hands off in private and not improving in public, it would be time for a heart to heart and if there is no immediate  improvement, move on, she's not into you IMHO

[ML]

FSU women are not 'inaffectionate' as you call it.  At least with respect to those in their 30s and above.  And, except for native Estonian and Latvian women.

Actually FSU  women, in their 30s and above, are very, very affectionate . . . many of them even so in public.

[Steamer]

So like not much physical body contact, not meaning sex here, but no real kissing, holding each other, holding hands even. Friendly, not expressionless just no real physical contact as we would normally expect in the west.

                                          ***This is my experience and opinion only***


Dating protocols are different for FSU women.


I noticed that my initial contacts with FSU/W were polite and friendly but cold, almost business like. Public displays of affection are frowned upon except for teenagers or couples in their 20's. This includes kissing and holding hands. To find out how you're doing it's more telling to look at her eyes. They call it "smiling eyes". This is good.
Practice doing this yourself instead of walking around with a stupid grin on your face.


As the day with her goes on she'll inch closer to you and start to touch your arm eventually taking hold of your arm. She's feeling more comfortable with you. This is also good.
Still, no public smooching or hand holding.


The idea from this is to show an air of confidence and self control. Also skip the comedy. She's not going to understand it and it can make you look strange.

[ML]

Also skip the comedy. She's not going to understand it and it can make you look strange.

Some of us, genetically, cannot skip the comedy.

Of hundreds of FSU women I met (for business and romance) I would say something less than 5% of them did not respond favorably to my humor.

But, most all FSU women I met had passable English skills.

I would estimate 70% percent of them also told me jokes, etc.

Two of my favorites:  (1) Men used to look at a$$ in panties.  Now they look at panties in a$$.  (2) Man wakes up with string hanging from his mouth.  Then, with relief he says, 'Thank God it is from a tea bag.'

Some of my fondest memories are of FSU women laughing uncontrollably (tears running down face, belly hurting, etc.) for extended periods of time; and repeating when reminded of the story, situation, etc.

[treadmilldude]

                                          ***This is my experience and opinion only***


Dating protocols are different for FSU women.


I noticed that my initial contacts with FSU/W were polite and friendly but cold, almost business like. Public displays of affection are frowned upon except for teenagers or couples in their 20's. This includes kissing and holding hands. To find out how you're doing it's more telling to look at her eyes. They call it "smiling eyes". This is good.
Practice doing this yourself instead of walking around with a stupid grin on your face.


As the day with her goes on she'll inch closer to you and start to touch your arm eventually taking hold of your arm. She's feeling more comfortable with you. This is also good.
Still, no public smooching or hand holding.


The idea from this is to show an air of confidence and self control. Also skip the comedy. She's not going to understand it and it can make you look strange.

Steamer, your post has me sad, worried and disappointed. I am very affectionate, even in public. I love to hold hands in public with the woman I love and care for. You are telling me that on the first date, towards the very end of the date....if we have been together for 7, 8 hours for that first date, there is great chemistry, we have been laughing the entire date, everything is going extremely well, clearly there is a lot of romantic / sexual tension in the air whenever we look into each others' eyes....you are telling me that if I do what I have almost always done during my dating life in the US, when the first date is going really great, and I quietly and innocently, take her hand with my hand, look into her eyes and smile very lovingly and warmly...that this will not be appreciated and may not be reciprocated?     

[alex330]

Yes, most will have a wall up and act standoffish initially. I have heard this is a throwback from the Soviet days where you only had a very close inner circle of family and friends. A foreign man looking for a wife overseas may initially be looked at with some suspicion due to stories and the RW wondering why he cannot find a wife at home.

As they build trust with you most RW I know are very affectionate and demonstrate affection publicly. My wife always holds my hand, runs her hands through my hair and pull me in for tender kisses in public.

[Steamer]

Steamer, your post has me sad, worried and disappointed. I am very affectionate, even in public. I love to hold hands in public with the woman I love and care for. You are telling me that on the first date, towards the very end of the date....if we have been together for 7, 8 hours for that first date, there is great chemistry, we have been laughing the entire date, everything is going extremely well, clearly there is a lot of romantic / sexual tension in the air whenever we look into each others' eyes....you are telling me that if I do what I have almost always done during my dating life in the US, when the first date is going really great, and I quietly and innocently, take her hand with my hand, look into her eyes and smile very lovingly and warmly...that this will not be appreciated and may not be reciprocated? 

What you're describing sounds more like date #3.
Good girls can control themselves for more than 7 or 8 hours and it's considered rude to try to jump their bones immediately. When you're dating a beautiful woman you want to act like you've done it before.

[treadmilldude]

Steamer, no you misunderstood me. I am not talking about having sex on the first date. I used to be a manwhore a long time ago. I have changed, grown up a lot from my younger days.

On my first trip, I will not ask the woman I am with to sleep with me. I have already made that decision. If she wants to sleep with me during my first 24 day trip to Belarus, she will have to be the one to ask / initiate it. I will not be the one who asks / initiates it.

And if she thinks I am gay, then oh well she will think I am gay, I don't care. I am a gentleman. I am going to Belarus to find my life partner, not for sex.

And I have never waited until date #3 to attempt to hold a girl's hand. I guess I enjoy holding hands way too much.

[Steamer]

Steamer, no you misunderstood me. I am not talking about having sex on the first date. I used to be a manwhore a long time ago. I have changed, grown up a lot from my younger days.

On my first trip, I will not ask the woman I am with to sleep with me. I have already made that decision. If she wants to sleep with me during my first 24 day trip to Belarus, she will have to be the one to ask / initiate it. I will not be the one who asks / initiates it.

And if she thinks I am gay, then oh well she will think I am gay, I don't care. I am a gentleman. I am going to Belarus to find my life partner, not for sex.

And I have never waited until date #3 to attempt to hold a girl's hand. I guess I enjoy holding hands way too much.

Excuse me.
Still things are done differently in the FSU.
Let her get to know you and like you before you get all touchy feely. You'll know when the time is right.

[Trenchcoat]

                                          ***This is my experience and opinion only***


Dating protocols are different for FSU women.


I noticed that my initial contacts with FSU/W were polite and friendly but cold, almost business like. Public displays of affection are frowned upon except for teenagers or couples in their 20's. This includes kissing and holding hands. To find out how you're doing it's more telling to look at her eyes. They call it "smiling eyes". This is good.
Practice doing this yourself instead of walking around with a stupid grin on your face.


As the day with her goes on she'll inch closer to you and start to touch your arm eventually taking hold of your arm. She's feeling more comfortable with you. This is also good.
Still, no public smooching or hand holding.


The idea from this is to show an air of confidence and self control. Also skip the comedy. She's not going to understand it and it can make you look strange.

Yeah, 'smiling eyes' seems to be it  Strange as in the UK (US probably also) I've really been more familiar with the quick checking up up and down. From females and me to them. So this not so much no. Thank you for your post you have helped clear it up for me a little as I did not know where I was. It's only been a few days with her and short time left. So I'm not counting on there being any arm holding but longer term see how it goes, but yes a totally new situation for me I've never come across it before.

[Trenchcoat]

It's definitely not a good sign but, there could be some variables to explain it. How much have you been with and around her? Has she had time get comfortable with you? Some women take a bit more time than others and if she is progressing, it isn't anything to be concerned with. Is she just more reserved in public?

If you've been with her a couple of days and nights and she is still hands off in private and not improving in public, it would be time for a heart to heart and if there is no immediate  improvement, move on, she's not into you IMHO

Yeah, she's been with me a good couple of days and nights about 6-7 per day or so. Think above response may have grasped it I think. Yet still I find it strange territory to be in, like I get the feeling me touching her would not be welcome yet see seems to want to be around me, we get on well, I find her pretty gorgeous looking, and she seems to want to continue knowing me afterwards referring to this and that.

I guess she is somewhat reserved in public, private I would not know about as its pretty much all been public. We talk well together and sometimes passers by chat to her and she responds. I know she has said in previous messaging that she will take her time but doesn't want a long process, she wants it right. I don't get the impression she is here for a free holiday, she seems very genuine. Would be strange to go on a dating website and travel a long distance if she just saw me as a friend but can be strange world I guess.

So will see how it goes, yeah up to now had been thinking same as you put may have to move on if no improvement, but guess after hearing above just see how it goes and take it easy I think.

[Trenchcoat]

Steamer, your post has me sad, worried and disappointed. I am very affectionate, even in public. I love to hold hands in public with the woman I love and care for. You are telling me that on the first date, towards the very end of the date....if we have been together for 7, 8 hours for that first date, there is great chemistry, we have been laughing the entire date, everything is going extremely well, clearly there is a lot of romantic / sexual tension in the air whenever we look into each others' eyes....you are telling me that if I do what I have almost always done during my dating life in the US, when the first date is going really great, and I quietly and innocently, take her hand with my hand, look into her eyes and smile very lovingly and warmly...that this will not be appreciated and may not be reciprocated? 

Indeed

If you take her hand you'll probably get a slap across the chops lol

I'm surprised but does seem to work different here, different culture, maybe some girls do the eyeing up and down checking out thing. Here it seems to be you have to act like your celibate or something 😯. I never expected sex, but that looks extremely distant here to say the least. A relationship is what I want but will just have to see I guess. Seeing as the others here have been married to RW for some time and hAve made trips it stands to reason they know what they are talking about, at least I'm hoping so as this is a strange reality to me 😊

[jone]

I have dated, probably around 12 women from the FSU.  I have never not had one take my arm or hold hands on even the first date.  The ones I've connected with, by the second date we were kissing. 

If by the third date, there were no sparks flying, I would throw her back in the pond and fish for another fish.

[jone]

Most FSU women expect the man to make the first move.  I know that this has been discussed here, but you may be missing out if you haven't pushed it.

[treadmilldude]

I have dated, probably around 12 women from the FSU.  I have never not had one take my arm or hold hands on even the first date.  The ones I've connected with, by the second date we were kissing. 

If by the third date, there were no sparks flying, I would throw her back in the pond and fish for another fish.

Great, so this is basically what I expected. There really is no difference at all between an American girl and a FSU girl. (common sense) When in doubt, I am just always going to assume they are basically the same, a woman is a woman, American XX DNA is the same as FSU XX DNA. XY DNA, LOL obviously is quite different.

And yes, if the girl will not hold my hand by the 2nd date, she is a weirdo and I naturally just move on and find a girl who is "normal".

[JayH]

I don't think it's unusual for an FSU woman to be a careful and cautious in the beginning of a relationship. I think you need to take a good look at how much attention she gives you, how excited she is to be with you and how much chemistry there is between you. If everything outside of a physical relationship is going really well then don't worry about it too much.

Yes, most will have a wall up and act standoffish initially. I have heard this is a throwback from the Soviet days where you only had a very close inner circle of family and friends. A foreign man looking for a wife overseas may initially be looked at with some suspicion due to stories and the RW wondering why he cannot find a wife at home.

As they build trust with you most RW I know are very affectionate and demonstrate affection publicly. My wife always holds my hand, runs her hands through my hair and pull me in for tender kisses in public.

What you're describing sounds more like date #3.
Good girls can control themselves for more than 7 or 8 hours and it's considered rude to try to jump their bones immediately. When you're dating a beautiful woman you want to act like you've done it before.

I chose a few posts here that need heeding.I do not agree that a girl will immediately show affection-like anywhere-that will vary.
Throw in culture,language etc  and her natural caution can all easily equal what is described.
     It may well take the 2nd meeting for the veil to be lifted( so to speak!).Many girls will be very cautious in public -especially in their home city--more so in smaller city where the potential to be seen by people that know her.Maybe a very discreet touch of her hand or arm around her will tell you more.  Hasten slowly!
    The biggest factor that is needed to be established is your bona fides. I often read of guys that are already committed in their heads before a real life meeting and make the mistake that a girl will be too !!

[GatoMoon]

So like not much physical body contact, not meaning sex here, but no real kissing, holding each other, holding hands even. Friendly, not expressionless just no real physical contact as we would normally expect in the west.

That's why I prefer Latin women - they are very affectionate women.