How to handle this one?

[2tallbill]

Just buy a high end blow up doll and dress her the way you like every day. Bonuses:
1. Do not need to talk to her so your lack of social skills doesn't show.
2. Does not ask for your money
3. Will not leave you for another man.

Diagnosis: FSU just doesn't produce the kind of women you want.

4. She will happily wear excellent slightly used thrift store
dresses.
5. Doesn't require expensive pads or tampons for red days
6. A good high quality bicycle patch kit will facilitate any repairs
7. No foreign language to learn
8. Doesn't mind if you order another wife/girlfriend for threesomes
9. Stores comfortably in closets or the garage. Doesn't
require a costly larger bed or even clean sheets.

[Boethius]

Trench, you have to be winding us us up  ,........  if not, don't ever under any circumstances!!!!! tell a woman what to wear, offer advice if she asks, but to tell an intelligent woman, that you only want her to wear short skimpy  dresses would be incredibly insulting to her. A woman with self-respect would end the relationship the  moment you mentioned this.

Oh, I don't know.  I am certain it is every woman's dream to be told she should wear short skirts because her man wants it so that he can cop a feel with little effort whenever the mood strikes him.

[pitbull]

If you’re serious, unless you hook up with a complete idiot, she’ll know what you’re telling her is a lie.

Based on the totality of your posts, you will not be successful in this venture. By that, I mean a long term relationship. You need to stop and ask what do I have to offer?

Looking at the way TC posts together with his relationship history, it all makes sense. I have a persistent feeling that not only is he incompetent socially with women, but all of his reactions/thoughts/logic are just off. He seems to be thinking, operating and reacting outside of the range of where a neurotypical person would land.

Of the many personages on RWD, there are very few that I like, but all the others seem to fit into a natural variety within a neurotypical spectrum. TC is just out. He probably does not really have friends and is not capable of forming a meaningful relationship of any kind. He is looking for an FSUW because he has some physiological needs, but not really a need for companionship or friendship.

I have seen this same pattern/way of thinking A LOT in people on the autism spectrum, adults and children alike. Just this weekend I went to a Halloween party with my kids and one of the boys was somewhat the same: all of his social reactions and attempts were landing outside of every other kid's range. They all started to avoid him by the end of the day. It is sad and not his fault, but he is unlikely to ever have a meaningful friendship. It is like a different species of homo sapiens.

In short, I think TC is an Aspie, albeit very high functioning and perhaps undiagnosed, but nevertheless. He might end up in a short marriage with an FSUW, but only until she is able to communicate well, or gets the UK citizenship. Whichever comes first.

P.S I am not a neurologist but happen to have read/know a ot/communicated a ton about ASD and within the ASD community.

[Boethius]

TBH pitbull, I've thought the same (autism spectrum), assuming he's not a troll. 

[Trenchcoat]

If you’re serious, unless you hook up with a complete idiot, she’ll know what you’re telling her is a lie.

Based on the totality of your posts, you will not be successful in this venture. By that, I mean a long term relationship. You need to stop and ask what do I have to offer?

No I disagree, few FSW have the slightest clue about what Britain is really like. The first girl I met had no idea that Theatre tickets are way more expensive in the UK than Ukraine, where they are absurdly cheap. The last girl I was with had no idea that in the UK it is standard to go 50/50 on finances, living costs, eating out, etc - she just thought the guy usually pays for everything and presumably she would not have to work.

Now think about it, when we Western Men go to the FSU we get all this crap about etiquette, don't go into the Mothers kitchen unless asked, don't by an even number of Roses, open all doors for the lady, and probably a load I can't think off now or even know about. We also get told/find out on here & through MOB sites how FSU society is geared, some off it may be not quite true but we lap it up all the same. So why shouldn't a girl believe that is how things are in the UK. After all there was the Victorian era - dresses, the Seventies - mini skirts, so a tradition there of dress/skirt wearing, plus the UK is often regarded as quint and traditional in values. We are not the US after all wear Jeans are seen as emanating from. I'm chancing that put right they will buy it    

[Davo]

I've never been to England but I just googled "people walking down the street in London" and only saw one woman in the first 10 pics that was wearing a mini skirt , the rest are wearing jeans and pants. The city were my woman lives is far more americanized than I expected. In 25 percent of her pictures, of her had her friends,  they are wearing jeans. In pictures and videos of her every day life.... Shopping going to the park etc... Women can be seen wearing jeans.

All this is beside the  point. It comes across as creepy if  you just want to see her in short dresses. You'll look like one of these men who totally control their wives life. I can see the divorce affidavit now " he insisted I wear mini skirts when out in public, I felt so ashamed" mate it really is a little weird and sexist in my opinion.

I wouldn't care if she wore a pokemon onesie, as long as she's honest, faithful and not bipolar or a chronic binge drinker like my ex. You need some perspective because you aren't seeing the big picture that you need in relationships

[Trenchcoat]

Can't see why, for most guys it is probably the ideal and girls must kind off know that guys tend to have these sort of urges knowing what men are like. If a girl had certain tastes I would try & fulfil them if I were into her. I doubt many girls would see it as a big deal unless they were really against wearing skirts & dresses which would show up in their pics. You're right though in that I may have to improve my reason that I give to the girl a little more.

[Davo]

Can't see why, for most guys it is probably the ideal and girls must kind off know that guys tend to have these sort of urges knowing what men are like. If a girl had certain tastes I would try & fulfil them if I were into her. I doubt many girls would see it as a big deal unless they were really against wearing skirts & dresses which would show up in their pics. You're right though in that I may have to improve my reason that I give to the girl a little more.

In my experience dating, 30-40 year old women, they have more modesty than a 20-30 year old woman. She would see you a shallow and sleazy.  Most I've talked to have had men just use them for sex, FSU and local. If you want to stand out from other guys you have to look deeper into their personality than just looks. 

I kind of get the feeling you just want some eye candy, so when you are walking down the street other guys are envious. You have concerns about her finding a more attractive guy and leaving you, but you want to parade her around in skimpy attire??? ... It doesn't make sense.

The first girl I dated after my divorce was 28, blonde and stunning  attractive, she was hit on daily by other men, I trusted her as she had been the victim of an affair also. Trust me trench, you won't cope with dating an attractive woman, you will always be second guessing every conversation she has with another man. You'll never let her out in a mini skirt.

[Trenchcoat]

That is possibly one problem with at leat some FSW in their thirties they err towards the too modest, serious, unaffectionate, intimate up tightness,  etc call it what you will. I have noticed that some of them dress a bit too conservatively, i.e too long dresses or unflattering styles that are older than their years more old Woman's style.  Some still loom like they might be ok though. It might sound like I am putting how a woman dresses in front of personality but in a way it is a part of her personality and how she will get on with me/what I am looking for. Women that are too stiff tend to make me feel out of sorts also and I think make it harder to warm to each other. I need a girl at ease with herself and her physical being.

[Jumper]

she just thought the guy usually pays for everything and presumably she would not have to work.

TC,

Date adult established women.
Very few would not understand that in most marriages in their culture or yours ,couples both work.
It's completely normal in the fsu, just as it is in UK.

There certainly are women in either country that want, or would prefer, to not work.
Nothing wrong with that either, just find those on the same page as you.

Same page on wearing clothes is handled the same way, you can't ask or wish for someone random to do so.
You need to simply date someone who already has that preference in style of dress.

Why you'd want thay,given your insecurities, is beyond me.

Women who prefer to dress that style all the time,are basically attention seekers most of the time.

So your tastes in that personality trait, is going to go smack dab against your insecurities that she is just going to leave you fir another guy.

You really need to think through what you really need in a partner, and stop worrying about eye candy,particularly young ones with no grasp of the realities of life .

[Jumper]

That is possibly one problem with at leat some FSW in their thirties they err towards the too modest, serious, unaffectionate, intimate up tightness,  etc call it what you will. I have noticed that some of them dress a bit too conservatively, i.e too long dresses or unflattering styles that are older than their years more old Woman's style.  Some still loom like they might be ok though. It might sound like I am putting how a woman dresses in front of personality but in a way it is a part of her personality and how she will get on with me/what I am looking for. Women that are too stiff tend to make me feel out of sorts also and I think make it harder to warm to each other. I need a girl at ease with herself and her physical being.

And no matter who you marry, they will age, their styles and outlooks will change as well.

[Boethius]

No I disagree, few FSW have the slightest clue about what Britain is really like. The first girl I met had no idea that Theatre tickets are way more expensive in the UK than Ukraine, where they are absurdly cheap. The last girl I was with had no idea that in the UK it is standard to go 50/50 on finances, living costs, eating out, etc - she just thought the guy usually pays for everything and presumably she would not have to work.

Now think about it, when we Western Men go to the FSU we get all this crap about etiquette, don't go into the Mothers kitchen unless asked, don't by an even number of Roses, open all doors for the lady, and probably a load I can't think off now or even know about. We also get told/find out on here & through MOB sites how FSU society is geared, some off it may be not quite true but we lap it up all the same. So why shouldn't a girl believe that is how things are in the UK. After all there was the Victorian era - dresses, the Seventies - mini skirts, so a tradition there of dress/skirt wearing, plus the UK is often regarded as quint and traditional in values. We are not the US after all wear Jeans are seen as emanating from. I'm chancing that put right they will buy it

Yes, and as Davo pointed out, they've never heard of the internet.  Furthermore, they can't ask FSUW living in the UK about customs and mores on RW forums. 

[Trenchcoat]

And no matter who you marry, they will age, their styles and outlooks will change as well.

There may be something in this. I'm thinking if I go for a girl in her thirties who still dresses in relatively short dresses she is more likely to keep it that way. That and if she is aging well then also a good long term sign. End of the day though to do the number to find a girl where there is a connection I may have to be a little more giving on this or that. Though thirties at least for me is likely to bear better results eventually I think.

[Sting23]

. I need a girl at ease with herself and her physical being.

No, you need to man up and show some "cahoonas" as they say.  Maybe it is just you, I have never seen a guy cry so much about his bad luck with women anywhere.

[Sting23]

That is possibly one problem with at leat some FSW in their thirties they err towards the too modest, serious, unaffectionate, intimate up tightness,  etc call it what you will. I have noticed that some of them dress a bit too conservatively, i.e too long dresses or unflattering styles that are older than their years more old Woman's style. 

I was just in Moscow,  they all dress fine, much better than the equivalent in UK or USA.  Appropriate for work and going out in the evening.  It ain't about the dress, you are just neurotic man. 

[Davo]

You're being too picky mate.... You're almost 40 with no options at home. Take whoever will have you 

[JayH]

You're being too picky mate.... You're almost 40 with no options at home. Take whoever will have you 

No, you need to man up and show some "cahoonas" as they say.  Maybe it is just you, I have never seen a guy cry so much about his bad luck with women anywhere.

Where is your patience guys? Most have given this guy months before reaching a conclusion!!

There were a fair number of us who had enough a year ago-- but each newbie and overly nice guy --keeps trying !!

I ( & a few others) got castigated for calling him a social misfit  -- but -- that view has only been repeatedly confirmed -- and now there are a legion who believe that!
That may have been ignored --if it was not for his generally insulting comments aimed at a range of areas.

[ML]

I ( & a few others) got castigated for calling him a social misfit  -- but -- that view has only been repeatedly confirmed -- and now there are a legion who believe that!

So is there some joy obtained by calling someone a social misfit ?

Do bullies really enjoy being bullies?

Is is OK to bully someone . . . if the bullied person 'deserves' it?

Is this what the campaign about bullying is teaching our children?

If someone 'deserves' it; then it's OK.

[JayH]

So is there some joy obtained by calling someone a social misfit ?

Do bullies really enjoy being bullies?

Is is OK to bully someone . . . if the bullied person 'deserves' it?

Is this what the campaign about bullying is teaching our children?

If someone 'deserves' it; then it's OK.

Oh really-- the guy insults others -- a long list in fact -- some who spent considerable time trying to help him. He repeatedly talks of Ukraine in the most derogatory terms, on women- plenty of others have made their observations . His comments to Moby were sick -- and aimed at everything from his lady,children,pets.They are not the comments of anyone "normal"
Really ML-- save your pious comments for an worthwhile issue -that idiot is not worth the trouble.

[Davo]

 My comment was tongue in  cheek, but this comment shits me. I didn't have a go, I told a personal story of my weight issues.

"Fat women that are in plentiful supply but few men can stomach the thought of jumping in bed with a fat woman never mind having sex with her it is real gross just thinking of it"

I've struggled with weight issues and so has my sister, who's a beautiful person. I didn't  just bully, but put guys on their arse before, with comments directed at her, like this!!.... You might think it, but you don't talk about women in this way, despite their appearance, online or in public.

I think there's a moral line that's crossed when you lie to a woman, so she thinks it's only acceptable to wear skimpy high cut dresses, due to cultural reasons, when its just to satisfy a mans  slightly perverted needs ... This is the type of scheme my 16 year old son and his mates would come up with.

Edit... Might be harsh, but here's a reality check....real relationship problems are living for 9 months without knowing if your child is yours or your best mates, or more recently,  getting the shit kicked out of you by two bikies when you discover your wife having an affair with an openly bisexual man or maybe even 10 months fighting a DV order for breaking her fingernail when she knocked on the door  .....  F@#k I've had some laughs in relationships lol

So in conclusion to my rant, probably caused by my 11th court appearance today....Trench if all the problems you face is a wife who spends a few dollars on luxury items, is over weight and wears jeans, she's a keeper. You probably have it better than most of us other  idiots, who have been previously married. This "issue" isn't something a grown man has to ask how to handle!!!

[Trenchcoat]

My comment was tongue in  cheek, but this comment shits me. I didn't have a go, I told a personal story of my weight issues.

"Fat women that are in plentiful supply but few men can stomach the thought of jumping in bed with a fat woman never mind having sex with her it is real gross just thinking of it"

I've struggled with weight issues and so has my sister, who's a beautiful person. I didn't  just bully, but put guys on their arse before, with comments directed at her, like this!!.... You might think it, but you don't talk about women in this way, despite their appearance, online or in public.

I think there's a moral line that's crossed when you lie to a woman, so she thinks it's only acceptable to wear skimpy high cut dresses, due to cultural reasons, when its just to satisfy a mans  slightly perverted needs ... This is the type of scheme my 16 year old son and his mates would come up with.

Edit... Might be harsh, but here's a reality check....real relationship problems are living for 9 months without knowing if your child is yours or your best mates, or more recently,  getting the shit kicked out of you by two bikies when you discover your wife having an affair with an openly bisexual man or maybe even 10 months fighting a DV order for breaking her fingernail when she knocked on the door  .....  F@#k I've had some laughs in relationships lol

So in conclusion to my rant, probably caused by my 11th court appearance today....Trench if all the problems you face is a wife who spends a few dollars on luxury items, is over weight and wears jeans, she's a keeper. You probably have it better than most of us other  idiots, who have been previously married. This "issue" isn't something a grown man has to ask how to handle!!!

Davo, you need to have respect for yourself and that starts with having respect for your body. After all who is going to respect you if you don't respect yourself and a flabby body is a sign that you don't. It tends to be a more common trait among females, reasons may vary but I tend to think its because a woman in the west know that as she has a vag that is all she needs and she'll get a man anyway.

The issues you highlight in your relationship appear f*cked up. Apparently many men in the past have been duped by a woman making out their child is theirs and its only more recently with paternity tests where as you probably know you just need a swab of your child's saliva or blood sample to get an answer on whether it is to discover the real truth. I think it is very underhand of women to pass of another child as he's own and shows how deceitful women can be even those you thought you could trust. People berate me for being distrustful on here but I say it all part of due diligence. I would do a paternity test in secret of any child I had just to be certain. After all who wants to pay to bring up someone else's child their whole life and some people have. The government don't mind since it offloads the cost of them so when all these mail order paternity kits came out they didn't like it one bit here in the UK they thought the bloke should be treated like a mug and be kept all those years unawares.

Anyway, it problems like you state which is why I like to go into the FSU dating scene with as much good knowledge as I can have, both from experienced forum members on her and my own experiences. Otherwise I would go into situations and be totally unawares and as a result very vulnerable, and bad women out there would see this. The last girl I was with, if I had not found or bothered with this forum she might have succeeded in using me as a immigration mule or taken me for half as it now looks like she might have been after. Having my wits about me helps but this forum has helped me a hell of a lot to and that is something I have the more established members on this forum to thank for

[Trenchcoat]

Oh really-- the guy insults others -- a long list in fact -- some who spent considerable time trying to help him. He repeatedly talks of Ukraine in the most derogatory terms, on women- plenty of others have made their observations . His comments to Moby were sick -- and aimed at everything from his lady,children,pets.They are not the comments of anyone "normal"
Really ML-- save your pious comments for an worthwhile issue -that idiot is not worth the trouble.

Jay, you're just so aggressive and I'm not sure why, perhaps you are upset with your progress on this venture so far. My comments to Moby were not at all sick but an inquisitive inquiry into possible reasons behind he's thoughts. I've never talked of Ukraine in derogatory terms - I report back on what I see there - the people are poor and its a daily struggle for many off them to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. Many there do not shop for clothes they have not the money. I have not said this before but when I was in Kiev I met with a terp - a Ukrainian lady and she told me the same, she seemed genuine enough and a decent lady, though of course it really just backed up what I could see with my own eyes. I think if you come from a privileged situation as I think you probably do Jay in being able to fly all the way from Australia to Ukraine you can be oblivious to how things really are. I'm not too bad off now but when I was growing up my family was relatively poor, not as poor as some but still relatively poor. If you have had any experience of being poor you have something to relate to and can notice it more easily in others. Now I'm not talking about Ethiopian levels of poverty and starvation here just those having to work many hours if they can get it to afford food and rent. As even EM tells us few Ukrainians own their own place because of the poor economy, inflation issues and the rest, most rent so many in Ukraine are not far away from real means to survive issues - hence the dating industry, scammers, bad girls, etc. RW in his trip report told us his girl was not wealthy and she lived in Odessa and worked in the dating Industry messaging guys. How do you think it is for others that don't have this or another viable means of income available.

Perhaps you could tell us more about yourself Jay as despite your interjections here many of us know little about you and where you are coming from, aside from Australia How much time have you spent out in Ukraine or FSU as a single trip? for example.

[Nightwish]

Jay, you're just so aggressive and I'm not sure why, perhaps you are upset with your progress on this venture so far. My comments to Moby were not at all sick but an inquisitive inquiry into possible reasons behind he's thoughts. I've never talked of Ukraine in derogatory terms

yes you have, in the same derogatory way you speak speak about women.

- I report back on what I see there - the people are poor and its a daily struggle for many off them to put food on the table and a roof over their heads.

You mean from your extensive 2 trips.. wow

Many there do not shop for clothes they have not the money. I have not said this before but when I was in Kiev I met with a terp - a Ukrainian lady and she told me the same

ONE woman told you that, so all 45 million people there must be "dirt poor" (your words)

she seemed genuine enough and a decent lady, though of course it really just backed up what I could see with my own eyes.

Again, on all your extensive trips you made there and all that time you spent there, what was it now, 2 whole times, two weeks in Ukraine?

I think if you come from a privileged situation as I think you probably do Jay in being able to fly all the way from Australia to Ukraine you can be oblivious to how things really are. I'm not too bad off now but when I was growing up my family was relatively poor, not as poor as some but still relatively poor. If you have had any experience of being poor you have something to relate to and can notice it more easily in others. Now I'm not talking about Ethiopian levels of poverty and starvation here just those having to work many hours if they can get it to afford food and rent. As even EM tells us few Ukrainians own their own place because of the poor economy, inflation issues and the rest, most rent so many in Ukraine are not far away from real means to survive issues - hence the dating industry, scammers, bad girls, etc. RW in his trip report told us his girl was not wealthy and she lived in Odessa and worked in the dating Industry messaging guys. How do you think it is for others that don't have this or another viable means of income available.

Perhaps you could tell us more about yourself Jay as despite your interjections here many of us know little about you and where you are coming from, aside from Australia How much time have you spent out in Ukraine or FSU as a single trip? for example.

I would never say that many dont struggle with finances in Ukraine, but in general most make due, single moms and elderly of course are on the bad end of the scale, but in what country are they not?

[2tallbill]

That is possibly one problem with at leat some FSW in their thirties they err towards the too modest, serious, unaffectionate, intimate up tightness,  etc call it what you will. I have noticed that some of them dress a bit too conservatively, i.e too long dresses or unflattering styles that are older than their years more old Woman's style.  Some still loom like they might be ok though. It might sound like I am putting how a woman dresses in front of personality but in a way it is a part of her personality and how she will get on with me/what I am looking for. Women that are too stiff tend to make me feel out of sorts also and I think make it harder to warm to each other. I need a girl at ease with herself and her physical being.

Trench,

They have every type of woman in the FSU. There are women who can do advanced
calculus in their heads and there are women who can't count to eleven without using
their toes and they have every type of woman in between.

FSUW will generally dress more stylish than in the West but like I said above there
really is every type. They have nudists, emo's and slobs too.

Worrying about how a woman dresses in the FSU is a bit like mastering 101 ways
to bring a woman to orgasm before ever dating one. Find a good girl that you have
chemistry with, then win her heart. Whatever she wears when you meet her will likely
change once she starts living in the UK.

Udachi!

Bill

[Madlen]

  For me a woman wearing jeans, shorts or trousers is not a turn on for me, quite the opposite. To me jeans, shorts & trousers are mens clothing and even if tight fitting on the female form it doesn't do it for me nearly as much as a short dress/skirt. So what do I do? Do I contact the girl and make my preference clear or do I state in my profile my preference? Do both?

It is very pleasant and useful to read this. Thank you.
Today most of women forgot that they are women and need to use dress and give love to men.
It is big problem of modern society. And nobody saies to girls at school:" If you want take privileges of men, very soon you will be like men. And no one man will be with you, maybe only somebody crazy".
And it would be good if more men say about it. Maybe women will switch on brain and will remember their nature.

You can write in profile, you can ask, if you want.
But do, as you need. So you will not get an unpleasant surprise in future.
If you want real woman-pay attention to her wearing ( of course, to her heart and mind too).