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Author Topic: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.  (Read 12786 times)

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Offline Sting23

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #25 on: November 24, 2017, 11:11:14 PM »
Did Canada start receiving three year multi entry visas for Russia??

No, only the USA.  We can only get 1 year business visas that have a 90 out of 180 day restriction.

Offline Sting23

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #26 on: November 24, 2017, 11:16:06 PM »

Paris likely is not more expensive than Moscow.  Plus, it didn't seem that Sting's decision was about cost, at all.  It was that he's lived in Moscow and isn't particularly interested in going back if he has other options.

Yes, this is my thinking.  I probably didn't get that point across as much.  I'm just a bit bored of Moscow to be honest, plus I find that women get more excited about meeting in a place she has never been to.

The other thing about meeting a woman's family....many of them are from towns far from Moscow.  So you would have to travel to their hometown in Russia.  The family thing is way down the line anyways, first is establishing a connection with the girl.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #27 on: November 25, 2017, 01:38:59 AM »
You're not going to be a part of her life on a first visit, unless you have made significant inroads by skype or such beforehand and she views you as a potential long term partner.  In your case, as I understand it, you don't want to build anything online, so what is the probability of a woman making you a part of her life on a first visit?

Oh please, the issue making we have on this forum. Of course not unless it's for a long stay which I intend to make, weeks or possibly months. The main point is its not weather you actually meet her family but that you see her in her local environment and her life continues with you a part of it however minor part that may be. She may discuss issues, disputes, points of difference of her family with you or current goings on. The main thing is, is that you are there not as a outsider in the sense that you are when abroad but someone present in her daily life, again however small a part that is. The fact that many of the heavily experienced guys on this forum have come on here and said that it's best to visit her in her home environment and not do holidaying tells me this is the way to go - they can't all be fibbing. My own experience tells me to avoid holidaying as well.
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Offline Boethius

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #28 on: November 25, 2017, 02:52:34 AM »
Unless you are living with the woman, you are not experiencing her daily life anymore than you do coworkers you interact with daily.

The reason for not vacationing is not about getting to know a woman. It comes from a time when men were expected to fund the whole vacation. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it can bring insincere women into your sphere, though frankly, there are just as many insincere men as women.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2017, 03:06:53 AM by Boethius »
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Offline CaptB

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #29 on: November 25, 2017, 03:55:25 AM »
The very nature of international dating is never going to be "natural". Except for the (very) few who could live (and afford to live for an extended time) in the FSU are never going to experience a "normal" relationship...........dating someone overseas. I have to disagree that "not" meeting her in her own environment is a disadvantage. I have dated women who had friends tell me "she is nice"........"she is nice but has.....issues".........."I would not date her at this time" etc. etc. But I never met/dated a women who had such truly nice friends & relatives who said (general consensus) that she is a wonderful person.......who is everyone's "favorite" person"...................until I met my wife. You don't get that kind of "feedback"..............on vacation. Even a short visit (3 weeks) told me that this was a very nice person. She never tried to stere me away from people who knew her very well (as a few other women had). Her life was an open book. As my good friend JB (former poster.....many years ago) stated: "international dating is the graduate level. This is not DATING 101..............but DATING 501. It is never going to be like "local" dating........in your home town.......let alone........country. My wife's friends/coworkers & relatives were right. She is......as they all stated.........everyone's favorite person. They were right.


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First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #30 on: November 25, 2017, 10:23:02 AM »

Paris likely is not more expensive than Moscow.  Plus, it didn't seem that Sting's decision was about cost, at all.  It was that he's lived in Moscow and isn't particularly interested in going back if he has other options.

That's why I posted "most of the FSU". I sorta think that the OP
has already made his mind up so my post was for the newbies/lurkers
as much as it was for the OP.

If he doesn't particularly like going back there then why look for a girl
there? If things work out then he's going to be going back there a lot.
By selecting a visit one outside the FSU he is significantly reducing his
options if there isn't any chemistry between them, not to mention they
might end up being stuck together.

What if the girl used photos 10 years old and 20lbs lighter and is a
huge liar. I've been on dates with girls who are exactly that. I would
rather chew my arm off than spend a week with them. 

If he took the Moscow girl to Sochi, and things didn't work out then
he could pursue other FSU girls as a backup plan.

but it can bring insincere women into your sphere, though frankly, there are just as many insincere men as women.

That's one reason, but another is don't trap yourself with a woman that
you have never met in person. A getaway trip is great for a second or
third visit. 

It could be fun, exciting and romantic, or it could be a total horror
movie type nightmare or just a pain in the butt. I've visited enough
women where we didn't have chemistry to strongly suggest not 
pursuing that strategy on a first visit.

« Last Edit: November 25, 2017, 10:40:34 AM by 2tallbill »
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Offline ML

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #31 on: November 25, 2017, 11:06:12 AM »
That's one reason, but another is don't trap yourself with a woman that
you have never met in person. A getaway trip is great for a second or
third visit. 

It could be fun, exciting and romantic, or it could be a total horror
movie type nightmare or just a pain in the butt.

I never went on a vacation trip with a woman for first meeting.

I have gone on several vacation trips with different women for second meeting, and we had spent a lot of time together on first meeting trip.

Only one of the women changed quite a bit (for the worse) from our first meeting experience.

I remember our sex together on final night and I was telling myself . . . Thank God I won't have to do this again with her.  Men!!!
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #32 on: November 25, 2017, 11:37:09 AM »
Lol, that's funny ML. On this one having done a holiday with a girl for a second visit I differ from 2tallbill & ML in that I wouldn't do that again. Particularly if the girl requests or pushes towards a holiday date as she may well be more interested in the holiday than you. If she's truly interested then I think we all know she won't have much issue meeting up with you in or near her home town.

The rest I agree with 2tallbill & ML. The two girls I have dated away from their home town I was lucky we got on well enough in person. I spent 4-5 days with each though I think even that with the wrong person would be a nightmare. I consider myself quite an easy going person but personalities can vary a lot and perceptions of how you think a person is/will be or how things will go don't always ring true. I was fairly confident theses girls would show but there were times I wondered what if. Being able to call up other girls is a big plus I think.
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Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #33 on: November 26, 2017, 04:55:07 PM »
If you are pursuing a Russian girl you need to get a three year multi entry visa anyway.

Did Canada start receiving three year multi entry visas for Russia??

No, only the USA.  We can only get 1 year business visas that have a 90 out of 180 day restriction.

Note to (as Bill calls them) the "newbies and lurkers:" this visa is available only to people from the USA.  The rest of us unfortunate folks have to make do with the crumbs scattered hither and yon by our local Russian embassies.  Luckily, the embassy in Wellington was extremely helpful with both my trips to Russia, and I had not the slightest problem with my visa (tourist first trip, business second trip) either time.

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #34 on: November 27, 2017, 09:09:00 AM »
The downside is if it doesn't work out then you are stuck with her for a week with no options.  Considering the extra expense to get a Russian visa and the added cost of flying to Moscow, it would be cheaper to meet say in Paris even if you are paying for the girl.



Taking care of somebody you don't like and/or who doesn't like you in Paris isn't cheap and isn't fun. If you meet a woman in her city, she could easily go home right away if things go south. Even if you were in Moscow, you could continue to meet and date Slavic women. It's a better bargain to date 10 women in Moscow than 1 woman in Paris. Money shouldn't be the issue. Finding a life partner is and dating in the FSU gives you the best chance to find her since you can utilize a backup plan in case #1 doesn't work out.
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Offline GQBlues

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #35 on: November 27, 2017, 12:45:46 PM »

It's never the place you go but the company you're with. Meeting a gal anywhere in the world you never met in person but had online association with is not that big of a deal as long as she's paying for her own way throughout.


If you're expected to pay for her way, then you're a bigger stooge than your mama led you to believe.


It really is this simple.
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Offline Jumper

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #36 on: November 27, 2017, 10:32:58 PM »
 I'm trying to figure out why a single guy in Paris, if things dint pan out ,  couldn't date a few Parisians, but ya'll continue.

Yes I understand an obligation,  in an uncomfortable situation,  but two adults should be able to go their seperate ways in such cases.Maybe talk a few *what ifs*  over before the trip?
I know we did.


I did meet my wife in her home city first,  but the plan for both of us would be the same if it was possible to meet in my home city, or any other locale- if it's obvious we have no connection, as after all it us still just a first date regardless commuting  distance ,then move on as single folk do.

I did enjoy meeting her friends ,and seeing her city, but that could have been a second, third, fourth etc trip.

Looking back, nothing would have changed had we met elsewhere,  so the crux of this is only if things go south.
If they went south, I was ok with that in nikoleave,  or Vienna , or...
Because I could have an interesting trip in any of those places anyway.I'd find something to do.

It's how you look at it?
Meeting her was what was truky interesting to me, if it flopped ok, and lining up another date ,asap. Whether russian, , austrian, or dominican, wasn't some real  priority .

.

Offline Sting23

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #37 on: November 28, 2017, 08:40:34 AM »
I think the main thing is that I have lived in Moscow already and met & dated several women there.  I have also found I have more success conversing online first as opposed to meeting in real life randomly.  Some women don't want to date a foreigner, have no desire to leave Russia etc... You aren't going to ask them these questions right off the bat to a stranger.  So it can be wasted time finding someone who's got the same goals as you in a relationship.

There's a few online sites and apps like Tinder although I didn't peruse them during my time there.

I'm just more excited in going to a new place other than Russia.  I like the women but I ain't especially keen on living or visiting anymore.


Offline ML

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #38 on: November 28, 2017, 11:44:03 AM »
I'm just more excited in going to a new place other than Russia.  I like the women but I ain't especially keen on living or visiting anymore.

I agree.  There are a lot more interesting and fun places to visit rather than FSU.
Crimea was one of the best; but I would never go there now.
If it weren't for the thousands of available FSU women; there would never be a reason for any man to go there, except for business reasons.
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Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #39 on: November 28, 2017, 05:48:14 PM »
I agree.  There are a lot more interesting and fun places to visit rather than FSU.

That's as may be, but it doesn't stop the myriad parts of the FSU being interesting destinations in their own right.

Crimea was one of the best; but I would never go there now.

Never did get there, but would love to have had an extra week to fit it in.

If it weren't for the thousands of available FSU women; there would never be a reason for any man to go there, except for business reasons.

This is where your Philistinism shows itself.  :cluebat:  There are dozens of reasons for visiting the FSU, given that it is such a vast region, which have nothing to do with women or business.  Obvious example is next year, when the FIFA World Cup takes place.  Anyone going who has even an ounce of thirst for expanding their cultural knowledge would be in heaven.  The babes are a bonus.  8)

Offline Sting23

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #40 on: November 28, 2017, 06:22:14 PM »

There are dozens of reasons for visiting the FSU, given that it is such a vast region, which have nothing to do with women or business.  Obvious example is next year, when the FIFA World Cup takes place.  Anyone going who has even an ounce of thirst for expanding their cultural knowledge would be in heaven.  The babes are a bonus.  8)

No doubt Russia is a fascinating place with rich culture and history. I'd certainly recommend someone to visit.  However after living there for a while and dealing with the "Russian" way you quickly realize that there downsides too.

The dreary winters for half the year, stoic expressions, rudeness, lack of common sense... People seldom smile or are polite to strangers.  Coming from a western country that wears on you.

I'm quite sure most if not all of us here would prefer to live in our home country rather than in Russia or a former USSR country.


Offline Anotherkiwi

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #41 on: November 28, 2017, 06:32:00 PM »
No doubt Russia is a fascinating place with rich culture and history. I'd certainly recommend someone to visit.  However after living there for a while and dealing with the "Russian" way you quickly realize that there downsides too.

The dreary winters for half the year, stoic expressions, rudeness, lack of common sense... People seldom smile or are polite to strangers.  Coming from a western country that wears on you.

I'm quite sure most if not all of us here would prefer to live in our home country rather than in Russia or a former USSR country.

I certainly was NOT advocating migration!

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #42 on: November 28, 2017, 08:01:20 PM »
No doubt Russia is a fascinating place with rich culture and history. I'd certainly recommend someone to visit.  However after living there for a while and dealing with the "Russian" way you quickly realize that there downsides too.

The dreary winters for half the year, stoic expressions, rudeness, lack of common sense... People seldom smile or are polite to strangers.  Coming from a western country that wears on you.

I agree with the dreary winters part - after a couple of days in Moscow - way below zero in Centigrade and a chilly north wind - it confirmed that only Sochi - arrived to 16C and sun - can appeal in a Russian winter.

Lots of FSU red tape can be wearing  - but the stoic expressions are simply a mask - the more I get to know FSU folk - I find myself shocked at their 'Irish-like' interest in strangers and friendliness.

I'm quite sure most if not all of us here would prefer to live in our home country rather than in Russia or a former USSR country.

Home is where the heart is ?  ...   Life is what you make it ...? 

I'm very happy to be back in the USSR !


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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #43 on: November 28, 2017, 09:19:35 PM »


Home is where the heart is ?  ...   Life is what you make it ...? 

I'm very happy to be back in the USSR !

Apparently, you were not in USSR when only way to visit there was with a tour group AND you were not allowed to venture away from where the 'group' was allowed to go/see!!! )))
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Offline Boethius

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #44 on: November 28, 2017, 11:26:47 PM »
You could venture away from the group tours in Soviet times.  You could be followed or monitored, but still, you were allowed to wander away from the group. 

By the 1980's (when Brezhnev was still alive) and thereafter (maybe even earlier, I only know people who did this from 1980 on), you could even travel solo to the USSR, although you did have to have your itinerary established before you arrived, stay in an Intourist hotel for foreigners, have a driver pick you up at the airport, and pick you up when you left the country.  If you took a taxi to the airport within the country (e.g., if you were going from one city to another), you could pay with rubles for the internal taxi.  Only the arrival into the country and departure from the country required a driver.  The hotel, visa, and all internal/external fees had to be paid before arriving.  Typically, breakfast was included with this type of travel, and you were on your own the rest of the time.  If you changed anything, you would have to pay all those costs in a foreign currency.  Even in those days, US dollars were preferred, probably because it was the global currency for international trade.

When you were on a flight internally, no matter how you were going (student, solo travel), you were separated from Soviet citizens, both on the plane and in the arrival/departure areas.  If there were Soviets there, they were there for a reason (i.e., they were informants).
« Last Edit: November 29, 2017, 12:15:06 AM by Boethius »
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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #45 on: November 29, 2017, 12:18:20 AM »
You could venture away from the group tours in Soviet times.  You could be followed or monitored, but still, you were allowed to wander away from the group. 

By the 1980's (when Brezhnev was still alive) and thereafter (maybe even earlier, I only know people who did this from 1980 on), you could even travel solo to the USSR, although you did have to have your itinerary established before you arrived, stay in an Intourist hotel for foreigners, have a driver pick you up at the airport, and drive you to the airport when you left the country, although if you took a taxi to the airport within the country (e.g., if you were going from one city to another), you could pay with rubles for the internal.  Only the arrival into the country and departure from the country required a driver.  The hotel, visa, and all internal/external fees had to be paid before arriving.  Typically, breakfast was included with this type of travel, and you were on your own the rest of the time.  If you changed anything, you would have to pay all those costs in a foreign currency.  Even in those days, US dollars were preferred, probably because it was the global currency for international trade.

Not to disagree with you Bo but my friend was in SPb with group and he wandered off ( curious about something he saw), police stopped him, asked some questions and were about to take him when person in charge of the group
interceded , apologized , and told my friend to please stay with group or else he cannot be responsible. Just my friends story to me. It was early 1980's.
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Offline Boethius

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #46 on: November 29, 2017, 12:28:10 AM »
I was on two tours, first as a child in the 1970's, second as a teen in 1981.  In both cases, the tours were in various Ukrainian cities and then a couple of days in Moscow.  I walked all over with my siblings, alone, in Kyiv, in Odesa, in Ternopil, in Vinnitsya, in Chernihiv, and in L'viv.  I was on a tour with relatives the first time, and one went to his son's apartment in the city (my siblings and I tagged along the first day), and his other son drove him to his ancestral village, where the son lived.  That was absolutely forbidden, but pretty much everyone on the tour did this, skipping meals and planned tours in virtually every city we visited.  I wandered a lot of back streets in L'viv and had good conversations with locals, although now I know the contents thereof were reported.

In 1981, I walked all around Moscow alone, no issues.  I even stopped and asked police for directions, because when I stopped pedestrians, most would say they weren't from Moscow.

My parents chaperoned a school group to Moscow and then Leningrad in the mid 1980's.  Those kids were wandering everywhere on their own, no issues.  Some would even sneak out of the hotel at night.  What they didn't know was that my mother had bribed the durzhurna, so after the durzhurna's report on what time they left, and what time they came back, my mother would confront the kids in the morning about where they were, what they were doing, etc.  They had no idea how she knew, and attributed it to some sort of "superpower".

I will say this, though.  When I was getting my paperwork together to marry, I had to go go Moscow.  It was the first time I was navigating the entire city on my own (i.e. from the train station to the closed street on which the embassy was, and back to the train), and I was afraid I'd get lost because of where the embassy was located.  My husband pooh poohed that, laughing while he told me "Don't worry.  Foreigners don't get lost in the USSR."

In your friend's case, blame the tour guide. 
« Last Edit: November 29, 2017, 06:32:38 AM by Boethius »
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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #47 on: November 29, 2017, 01:24:39 AM »
I'm trying to figure out why a single guy in Paris, if things dint pan out ,  couldn't date a few Parisians, but ya'll continue.



If a guy doesn't want to date Slavic women in the FSU but in France, chances are he wouldn't want to date French women unless he met them in Shanghai.  :P


Anyway, French women doesn't float many men's boats and they are rude to foreigners.
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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #48 on: November 29, 2017, 05:33:07 AM »
I'm trying to figure out why a single guy in Paris, if things dint pan out ,  couldn't date a few Parisians, but ya'll continue.

Parisians are famous for knowing English but only speaking French and
my French is zero, although I agree it's still boy meets girl. If I found
myself stuck in France (back when I was single), I would pursue any
French girls that struck my fancy. It's just not the same target rich
environment that Russia is.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: First meeting- Woman coming to your country or a neutral country.
« Reply #49 on: November 29, 2017, 11:07:57 AM »
I  spent a whole three weeks driving around France seeing the sites a good couple of years ago now, even though I was by myself it was fun and interesting to see though it ended up costing me about 3K, ouch, more than I expected and that was spending each night in the budget Ibis hotels. I was lucky I happened to hit the Paris leg off my tour on the weekend when hotel prices were cheap than during the week apparently, well they were at the Ibis. Even still I recall it was around 80-90 Euros a night. I stayed in one in Versailles (& saw the Grand Palace of course), one in a suburb of Paris over looking a graveyard - apparently one to do with the Occult, supposed to be a tourist attraction but I didn't see no tourists, lol and one in La Defense district overlooking the Seine and fortunately for me lucky enough to get a room with a view of the Eiffel Tower in the distance, seeing the lights on that at night from my hotel room was really something :)

A couple of weeks or so later the terrorists attacked but fortunately I was out of France by then as otherwise it would have probably messed up seeing a lot of stuff.

Main thing I  found the French girl much warmer than most British girls and far more friendlier. Language was a barrier as my French is not good and has gone back to using mostly a few key phrases with an accent that I discerned was none too good, lol. If I was not on the move and went to stay around the same place for a while a French girl is definitely a good one to try for. They are more feminine than English girls too, while walking around a shopping centre in PAris I saw a couple of mid-late teen girls excitedly checking out Bra's in a clothing shop window - never have I seen that in all my years in British shopping centres with the all too uptight and feminist culture you get here. 2tallbill is right though they are not as numerous as out in Russia though according to the gender ratio map more numerous than the UK. I got the impression fair few less were locked down in relationships than the UK. I would not say nearly as target rich as Russia though. Also best bet for getting a woman (or anyone) that speak English is in Paris, then probably South of France, then Normandy coastline. A fair amount speak English but if you go out into the sticks away from the larger towns and/or mid France less speak English, Even in the Dordogne there was not a lot that seemed to speak English other than of course the English.
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