Please assess this Russian Woman for me guys ///

[neilhardy]

Ive met a russian woman, on a pay to join website match.com where all must pay
£30-00 to join I wrote to her in russia, she wrote back and we communicate via e-0mail.

Shes 15 years younger than me, pretty, cute and seems serious about it

I was clearly sceptical so Ive been performing all the regular due dilligence checks
please tell me your opinion, in fact some times I was pretty direct with her, bordering rude I think.

1. I wrote back to her first then ingonred the nexy two e-mails.
2. She kept writing saying "why are you ignoring me "   - Good sign ?
3. I began email tennis with her,

4. I told her right up I was not interested in long correspondence but the
    only way we could see if we are a true match was to meet. She said yes soon - Good sign ?

5. I told her twice I will never send her money for tickect OR a visa ever - She said OK, -Good sign ?

6. She send a new photo each time, not a studio quality "model" type one but just a high
    quality digital camera type one, of her her mum, dad, they look authentic - Good sign ??

7. I told her its very unlikely she will get a visa to visit the UK and it will be expensive, she said
    she has travelled to Europe on business before and will have no problem getting a visa - Good   sign ?

8. I re-iterated for the third time no way will I send her money, but she can come and stay with me and she wont need anymoney when she's here and Ill give her her airfare back if we hot it off when she is here, she said ok and that she will be able to indenpendently fund her travel out of her own pocket - Good sign ?

8a) Shes a head of car sales earning $450 per mo, apparently 150 bux more than the average - good sign ?

9. I asked to speak and write to her, she says she wont give me her phone or address yet - Bad sign ??

10. Shes told her folks all about me and they say tread carefully - Good Sign .

11. Its been two months and I was sceptical, but now I think its bone fide.

12. She tells me tentatively that she loves me ? bad sign after 3 months ??

Please tell me guys what you think.

Much respect and peace.

[andrewfi]

If you need to ask you know the answer.

Next.

[PeeWee]

I would wonder about #9. And 2 months time in relationship is probable much too premature to make any accessments. Until you see the whites of her eyes, as they say, then will you know some of the answers to your many, yet good, questions.

Prepare yourself, lad. Much advice is forth coming.

Peewee

[neilhardy]

Thanks peewee, good counsel!

[PeeWee]

If you need to ask you know the answer.

Next.

Come on, Andrew, you have a wealth of knowlege why not share a little of it with the new guy. Question #11 and #12. Your thoughts?

Peewee

[Todd]

You didn't mention your age just that she is 15 years younger than you are.  She is probably still young, idealistic, and unjaded in some ways.  One thing that I would like to know is if she has a brother or similar close male figure that she has communicated with over an extended period of time.  If not, just the extended communication might be enough for her to begin to form very strong emotional ties.  The fact that she is writing you back and forth for 3 months would seem to imply some sincerity.  The fact that she told her parents is a very good things...especially if you call her at home and not on a cell.

My only word of advice is to remember that she is very likely sincere, and you should treat her well until given strong reason not to.  It is just good policy and karma.  Try to imagine how you were 15 years ago when you were dealing with the opposite sex.

Also, early Autumn is an excellent time to go to Russia...before it starts to get too cold and cheaper air fares.

[PeeWee]

Thanks peewee, good counsel!

As some will tell, I am not the one to give advice but I am disappointed in one of the old timer and knowlegeable ones, that being Andrew. I was going to defer to the sages but if that is the type of response that you can expect then I will try my best to advise.

1. I wrote back to her first then ingonred the nexy two e-mails. (often with women it is the guy who ignores them that makes them most curious about him. This is a good tactic for meeting women in the bar. Women love attention. To not give it to them makes them only curious as you have now discovered in #2)
2. She kept writing saying "why are you ignoring me "   - Good sign ? (see replay #1)
3. I began email tennis with her,   (we all do it)

4. I told her right up I was not interested in long correspondence but the
    only way we could see if we are a true match was to meet. She said yes soon - Good sign ?  (RW come to the plate sooner, I seems, than do other women. Their relationship life span seems to be shorter. Go to her ASAP, but first have some time in relationship.)

5. I told her twice I will never send her money for tickect OR a visa ever - She said OK, -Good sign ? (does not mean anything. Some coy scammers will take that tactic early on. Later she will ask for Internet money or mom will get nailed by a bus.)

6. She send a new photo each time, not a studio quality "model" type one but just a high
    quality digital camera type one, of her her mum, dad, they look authentic - Good sign ??  (a nice touch. This seem encouraging to me.)

7. I told her its very unlikely she will get a visa to visit the UK and it will be expensive, she said
    she has travelled to Europe on business before and will have no problem getting a visa - Good   sign ?  (this could be true. I dated an Aeroflot purser for 3 or so years. She had not trouble getting a visa to travel to anywhere she wanted to go. This may be possible, but maybe not probable. The Schengen visa is somewhat easy to come by but I don't think that the UK is a part of that agreement but nearby France or Belgium is)

8. I re-iterated for the third time no way will I send her money, but she can come and stay with me and she wont need anymoney when she's here and Ill give her her airfare back if we hot it off when she is here, she said ok and that she will be able to indenpendently fund her travel out of her own pocket - Good sign ? (if it happens it seems good. You talk about money too much you may begin to sound cheap to her. Cheap is not a good thing to become known as with RW)

8a) Shes a head of car sales earning $450 per mo, apparently 150 bux more than the average - good sign ? (depends on where it is that she lives. If in Moscow that may be only average. There was some talk of wages about a week or so ago. Do a search for it.)

9. I asked to speak and write to her, she says she wont give me her phone or address yet - Bad sign ?? (I think so. But I do recall that it took me about 3 weeks for the current lady to feel trusting enough with me to give me her phone number)

10. Shes told her folks all about me and they say tread carefully - Good Sign . (if she really did that then I see it as a positive thing. She is preparing them for an eventuality anyway)

11. Its been two months and I was sceptical, but now I think its bone fide. (not enough time to tell, in my opinion. You may not know the answer to this one until you actually met her.)

12. She tells me tentatively that she loves me ? bad sign after 3 months ?? (Seems too early for it. Ask yourself this, "How can she love me if she has not yet met me?" This may be not a good sign. Scammers often tell scammees that they love them. Then comes the request for money for air fare and visa. Dumbguy then sends it and the love suddenly goes away. No money sent, meet her, then see what she says.)

Peewee

[KenC]

Neilhardy,
All the "signs" are mirages until you meet face to face.  You can analyze them to death and not know any more than you would in the first hour of face to face time.  My advice is to meet her and see where it leads.
KenC

[Turboguy]

I have to agree with all the advice you have had.  As KenC said, meet her and see what happens.   Believe me, what happens when you are face to face is not necessaily even remotely related to what you expect from letters. 

Scammer or not, as long as you never send money you can't be scammed that easily.  You are probably better off going to meet her for the first meeting.

[Elen]

I have doubts that a HEAD of car sales who travells abroad on business would  earn only  $450 per mo  - but never mind....

[PeeWee]

I have doubts that a HEAD of car sales who travells abroad on business would  earn only  $450 per mo  - but never mind....

I was thinking that it really does not make any difference what she earns because what is important is what is in her heart, not her bank account. In my 5 or 6 years of dating RW I knew only one income of the 4 women that I dated. It almost seems that you are begining this courtship with too much concern about the money aspect of it. Too heavy money without enough personal interest yet established. Tone down the money concern and crank up the questions about matters of the heart.

Peewee

[Elen]

Well I said "never mind"  though if she has a child and earn only 450$ it would be not such easy to pay for travelling abroad 

[BillyB]

Neil,

RW don't fall in love with men they never met.

I'll make this simple for you without getting into details. It's a 99%+ chance it's a scam. It's absolutely foolish for you to make plans to meet this woman/man without talking on the phone. Get on the phone with her on a regular basis. I'm talking 3-5 times a week. An insincere woman with no interest in you can't maintain a high level of excitement and enthusiam for you if you call often. She should be very interest in you since she "LOVES" you!

If she has no phone, move on.

[Leslie]

Well Neil,

I think you are playing internet spook games.

9. I asked to speak and write to her, she says she wont give me her phone or address yet

She refuses direct contact with you 

12. She tells me tentatively that she loves me

What when she has never even talked with you  :hairraising:

You are also playing games offering to fund travel 

My advice is to stop playing games.  Send her your address and phone number and demand the same from her.  If she complies carry on.  If not - Next........

[Christopher]

8. I re-iterated for the third time no way will I send her money, but she can come and stay with me and she wont need anymoney when she's here and Ill give her her airfare back if we hot it off when she is here, she said ok and that she will be able to indenpendently fund her travel out of her own pocket - Good sign ?

Did she ask you for money?  If not you should never say this outright.  Let them trip themselves up.  A good scammer will take this to mean she has to sneekier about getting you to part with your wallet.  I think it is tacky to say this outright if she has never asked you for it.  Go visit her and see what happens.

[catzenmouse]

 

Leslie,

 Love The New Avatar! You've got yourself one real Beauty there!

Ken

[Vaughn]

When I noticed Leslie's new avatar I thought we had a
new member! Leslie, is that Tamara? She's adorable!

Neil, I have to agree that without that elusive phone number,
all the other "good signs" are wishful thinking. I recall that my
wife gave me her phone number when I first asked, and that
was about three weeks into our initial correspondence; however,
she waited for four months to confide to her sister that
she was writing to (and speaking with) a foreigner, and maybe
five months to let Mama in on the deal. Your lady's done the
reverse - told the family, but to date witheld voice contact.
I believe the conclusion is obvious. Leslie offered:

Send her your address and phone number and demand the same from her.  If she complies carry on.  If not - Next........

Makes perfect sense to me.

[Bruno]

Well Neil,
...

 

Simply for say that your new avatar is wonderful... result of love between RW and WM... Very cute... Your are a lucky guy !

[Manny]

Well Neil,

I think you are playing internet spook games.

9. I asked to speak and write to her, she says she wont give me her phone or address yet

She refuses direct contact with you 

12. She tells me tentatively that she loves me

What when she has never even talked with you  :hairraising:

You are also playing games offering to fund travel 

My advice is to stop playing games.  Send her your address and phone number and demand the same from her.  If she complies carry on.  If not - Next........

Sound advice - I agree!

[viking]

Hi Neil,

I wish you luck. Here is my 2 cents.

1. You CANNOT fall in love with someone you never met. Period.

2. As many times as you have told her that you will not send money, and she says ok, wait. Some scammers love to take their time about money. Once you are wrapped up into her, and the tone of your letters will show that, along comes the pitch that can take you around the field.

You have made your point about money. She knows your position. Leave it alone for now. If you plan to see her, and get together, and no requests come forward for well....anything, then go see her and this would be a good sign. Remember also, there are women who enjoy the foreplay, will meet you and you may have a good time, and THEN.... So just be cool. Enjoy the ride and hope for the best and plan for the worst.

[ronin308]

As others have said, analyzing the email won't help.  I would be extremely worried that she feels she loves you but doesn't trust you enough to give you her address or even her phone #.

Elen's comments about salary and visa's also jibe.

Finally I want to say you stressing way too much on money from your side.  Based on my experience and discussions with others you would make yourself seem "cheap" which is not a good thing.  You might think you're simply being straight forward but it get's more complicated. 
Firstly it won't prevent a scammer from trying to play you.  Even though she is "agreeing" now chances are when the time comes for her to visit she'll need some financial support at the last minute or she'll have to cancel her trip. 
Secondly as stated it makes you seem cheap.  The best way for you to determine if she's out for your money is to wait for her to ask.

An example:
She had an additional expense which I won't detail here but went several months depleting her personal savings before I finally found out and gave her something to help.  We both expected her to be here much earlier so she would rather use her savings than ask me for money.  I had to find out and ask first.

Now I would not have given her anything but we are now engaged and she quit one of her jobs to spend time in english classes.

[neilhardy]

Peewee, Billy B, Chris, Ken, Turbo,Vaughn , Bruno, Ronin -- My personal thanks to you all for ur advise, its has been most appreciated, Thanks all for taking the time to help me here.

A final update, she has now given me her address, but says only her parents have a phone number, seems unlikely that a sales exec would not have a phone in her flat,  Im most suspicious.

Good luck to you all and thanks again, I'll keep you posted ??

[andrewfi]

You got the best answer right after your post.

If you feel you can not trust a person at a level appropriate to the level of the relationship there is no need to proceed further. All the additional information that you have subsequently offered demonstrates that you were correct.

If you need to ask, you know the answer.

[Bruno]

A final update, she has now given me her address, but says only her parents have a phone number, seems unlikely that a sales exec would not have a phone in her flat,  Im most suspicious.

My girlfriend work in the international business, import/export... everybody working in these business have a mobile phone... pay by the boss... It is not charity, simply a method for contact his worker when needed... evening or week-end... So, in her case, i find strange that she have not some mobile phone...

[neilhardy]

Yes I agree Bruno, it sounds bad, but the photos are very elaborate, friends, pets, family, like I say an elaoboate set up, Anyhow I just wrote back to her and said no phone number no meeting and no correspondence I'll let you know what she says.

By the way what do y'all think of elenas models or Breids.ru ?? Ive heard these are the best of the crop anyone agree/disagree, anre there any other good ones or bad ones ??

Has anyone heard of Interkontack ??

Cheers men, keep up the good work.