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Author Topic: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?  (Read 5888 times)

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Online Trenchcoat

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So carrying this on from where I left off from the EU thraed in 'Odds & Ends'. I've found that Belarusian people have a more work orientated mindset (similar to Polish) than Ukrainian people where they start at in life. I don't mean Ukrainian people are lazy or don't work hard, many I know work long hours.

I mean that if you were to go to a bar or restaurant or similar in Ukraine chances are you could talk to them quite easily if you wanted to, not necessarily in terms of befriending them but in terms of being able to casually chat.

In Belarus I tend to find people seem more work focused, they tend to be more formal, particularly if at work at very much too the job.


Now I know many people may not find that a negative, some guys are looking for a girl that wants to work and is work orientated - and the opposite of a girl that just wants to lounge around is a undesirable and economic burden for them to endure. Belarussian people to my mind during a recent weekend visit seemed a lot more straight up than Ukrainian. Of course their until recent expose to western guys has been fairly limited because of all the awkward restrictions on visiting, until of recent. I don't deny that Belarussian women looking for a WM will still have their own agenda, generally but I think a lot of the 'dating industry' we know it from Ukraine is not present.

This should have been a big plus and it could be, but I also think that it acts as a minus as they are not socialised into dating WM and getting with them like Ukraine has become. I also think that because of this many may not wish to move abroad with a WM but want them to move to Belarus. Minsk/Belarus is not a bad country but its relative isolation has led to a failing economy and some people are starving.

For me, yes I can work hard and at times do and I do generally work. However, I also have a relaxed nature also and I feel that someone with a 'at work' all the time mentality might not be a good match for me. So surprisingly I actually wonder if Ukrainain girls who tend to come more with a insincere risk amoung their number might be more suitable for me. I find that a lot of their charater can go quite well with mine - you don't need to talk to them loads, they are easy going & up for relaxing & time off, they also tart themselves up a fair bit and like to pose it up, though some a bit too much, lol.

Belarussian girls on the other hand do seem to like to wear nice short tight skirts :D but most seem to have a formal 'at work' way about them - i.e its all work talk/work relevant/business like. I wonder if I got with someone like this they might view me as not work orientated enough/not doing enough work, even if I did a standard week & a bit of other stuff. I get the impression they would be push, push to get in all the hours/money feasible and that for me could be a pain. Any thoughts?     
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Online krimster2

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2018, 11:48:46 AM »
I assume you are aware of the law in Belarus, that if you work less than a certain amount you go to prison!
this may have some influence on social behavior!
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2018, 12:43:58 PM »
I assume you are aware of the law in Belarus, that if you work less than a certain amount you go to prison!
this may have some influence on social behavior!

Nope :o That will explain that one then and is truely shocking. Explains why many were work minded as if that were on the cards you wouldn't want to be losing your job! Never ceases to amaze me the stuff that comes out in this search. Girl I met did tell me that the President  (Lucashenko) 'we don't talk about him'. I guess in  case we were overheard. Not that we were talking loudly or anyone particularly close. So I think a fair bit of the old state of repression still exists at least in the mind and no doubt for the odd few unfortunates in person. In general people seemed to go about their business in a content manner though. I'm guessing the 'at work' mentality becomes ingrained in them so I'm not sure if it would likely disperse much if a Belarus girl went to live in the UK. Kind of explains why the girl I met seemed to be working so much and not getting around the usual areas much - she hadn't visited the Minsk Gorky Park (not as good as the one in Moscow but still quite nice) in years despite being their a fair number of years nor was familiar with the area I was staying in despite it being just off Victory Park.
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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2018, 08:54:12 AM »
Got to admit I'm kind of on the fence on this one at the moment. I kind of like the slut style of a lot of Ukrainian girls :) but I'm wary of the sincerity of the Ukrainian International dating scene and a fair amount of the girls within it. Belarussian girls tend not to have the slut mentality of many Ukrainian girls but often wear nice short skirts :) now they seem to be more sincere/less playing around though like said no doubt have their own agenda for seeking a WM and I'm not sure if out of Belarus they would relax a bit on their 'at work' persona. So where to place my bet? Ukraine or Belarus?
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Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2018, 09:08:18 AM »
I kind of like the slut style of a lot of Ukrainian girls :)  So where to place my bet? Ukraine or Belarus?


HAve you thought about how this kind of style and behavoir is going to look like  in the US? ESpecially is a small town environment? Because its not going to change, at least not for a while.


Start looking in more civilized areas in Russia.
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Online krimster2

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2018, 09:18:30 AM »
Trench
success is wherever you find it

I can't speak too much about Belarus
only been to Minsk, but it was many years ago
did notice LOTS of beautiful wimmin
more blondes on average than Ukraine

either place will do fine
my personal preference is Ukraine

you're lucky Trench!
geography favors YOU over those overpaid and oversexed Yanks
from Heathrow to Borispol is 3 1/2 hours
you can easily spend a weekend there
my first flight to Borispol took 19 1/2 hr from San Francisco International
a long weekend in Ukraine was out of the question
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2018, 09:31:28 AM »
"Start looking in more civilized areas in Russia"

where would that be, pray tell, this "civilized" area you speak of?
does it center on the block of apartments you grew up in?
you think there are no "bad girls" in Moscow or St Pete?
I read an article a few months ago that states that the major producer of porn for global online porn  sites
are Russian teenagers many of whom dwell within the major cities you refer to as civilized
also, ever seen the backpage ads in some of the newspapers in Moscow, girls advertising themselves?
this is different from Ukraine, only in the fact that Russia and NOT Ukraine
is your Rodina
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

Online msmob

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #7 on: November 01, 2018, 10:02:25 AM »

HAve you thought about how this kind of style and behavoir is going to look like  in the US?

Or even southern England, United Kingdom ? ;)


ESpecially is a small town environment? Because its not going to change, at least not for a while.

Trenchie doesn't WANT it to change, just doesn't want her to look at other guys !

Start looking in more civilized areas in Russia.

He won't buy the Visa and now he can get free BY ones reckons he knows BY women  :ROFL:

There won't be many 'short skirts' on view, soon, given it's Winter in the northen hemisphere, Trenchie...

Please keep up with you 'ANALysis' of FSU W .... really funny given the 'accuracy'..

Right now it's still beach weather in Sochi and the 'sluts' ( Trench's description for a youngish, attractive FSU W  who can still wear summer clothes / bikini ) will be on the beaches ....   :cluebat:




Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2018, 10:12:37 AM »
Got to admit I'm kind of on the fence on this one at the moment. I kind of like the slut style of a lot of Ukrainian girls :) but I'm wary of the sincerity of the Ukrainian International dating scene and a fair amount of the girls within it. Belarussian girls tend not to have the slut mentality of many Ukrainian girls but often wear nice short skirts :) now they seem to be more sincere/less playing around though like said no doubt have their own agenda for seeking a WM and I'm not sure if out of Belarus they would relax a bit on their 'at work' persona. So where to place my bet? Ukraine or Belarus?


Every now and then I am being pulled into various RW socials. These days they are more like UW socials. These young women dressed in that slut style make latino girls look like church ladies. It stands out even in a big city like Houston. And on a number of occasions I have been approached by AM - husbands, asking me to somehow convince their wives to tone it  down a little bit. They were complaining that they can not  introduce them to co-workers and family members. What looked OK in those  Ukrainian towns,  looks quite  scandalous here.
Kaplah!

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #9 on: November 01, 2018, 10:23:53 AM »

Every now and then I am being pulled into various RW socials. These days they are more like UW socials. These young women dressed in that slut style make latino girls look like church ladies. It stands out even in a big city like Houston. And on a number of occasions I have been approached by AM - husbands, asking me to somehow convince their wives to tone it  down a little bit. They were complaining that they can not  introduce them to co-workers and family members. What looked OK in those  Ukrainian towns,  looks quite  scandalous here.

I think that has more to do with how 'fresh-off-the-boat' people dress when they first arrived to a new country. I don't believe it's inherent to the country they come from. As a kid when I first arrived in the US, I donned the classic '70s look, LOL. Bell bottom jeans with elevator shoes. Stretchy long sleeve shirt with the top 3 buttons open and a 20" necklace swinging around and long haired...

Cleaned that right up since my stepdad, who was a military man, wasn't too excited about that 'look'. So I cleaned it right up...though happily didn't lose the benefit of being a 'slut'. Fun times...

 :P
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Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #10 on: November 01, 2018, 10:29:09 AM »
I think that has more to do with how 'fresh-off-the-boat' people dress when they first arrived to a new country. I don't believe it's inherent to the country they come from.
 :P


And all those latinas living here? Born here? Cultural differences exist. 
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Offline GQBlues

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #11 on: November 01, 2018, 10:43:44 AM »
And all those latinas living here? Born here? Cultural differences exist.

In the US, I maintain the same. There's a distinct difference between 'Chicanas' from the 'nuevo latinas'. US-born south American ladies are far more kept and discreet, almost conservative in the way they dress than otherwise.

Heck, FWIW, I still remember the 'Madonna' trend looks the natives were fond of wearing..then the Baywatch (bubble-headed, bleached blondes with diving cleavages wearing those 'come-f#@k-me-shoes) craze came around, oh boy!
« Last Edit: November 01, 2018, 10:52:23 AM by GQBlues »
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Offline DaveNY

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #12 on: November 01, 2018, 12:38:08 PM »

Every now and then I am being pulled into various RW socials. These days they are more like UW socials. These young women dressed in that slut style make latino girls look like church ladies. It stands out even in a big city like Houston. And on a number of occasions I have been approached by AM - husbands, asking me to somehow convince their wives to tone it  down a little bit. They were complaining that they can not  introduce them to co-workers and family members. What looked OK in those  Ukrainian towns,  looks quite  scandalous here.

My wife says it's the fault of music videos and fashion articles on stars such as Jlo, Britney Spears and others, most of whom I've never heard of. I've see some Russian language music and movie videos where the women are dressed provocatively, don't know about Ukrainian videos.

Our daughters are 9 and getting to the age where they want to decide what to buy and wear. My wife allows them some discretion but when they point out something she doesn't like she tells them no and why the outfit is inappropriate.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #13 on: November 01, 2018, 12:51:23 PM »

Every now and then I am being pulled into various RW socials. These days they are more like UW socials. These young women dressed in that slut style make latino girls look like church ladies. It stands out even in a big city like Houston. And on a number of occasions I have been approached by AM - husbands, asking me to somehow convince their wives to tone it  down a little bit. They were complaining that they can not  introduce them to co-workers and family members. What looked OK in those  Ukrainian towns,  looks quite  scandalous here.

Not so in the UK where I live, anywhere in the UK is pretty at ease with whatever these days. There's a general ethos I think that has spread over the last decade or two where people are seen as being of all sorts so that any type of person/dress is seen as commonplace. Though of course this does not mean antagonism between different racial/political/cultural groups is not present, there can be but I think not ax much as in the US at present.

Occasionally I see some pretty weird scenes/people but I make no open comment in public and nearly all Brits do likewise. Most strange people/scenes have become almost everyday but there are still the odd peculiar happenings that surprise me.

Girls dress all sorts here. The prettier girls will either dress neatly, slutty or a combination of both. Worse is if they wear boring, mundane stuff that does nothing to flatter their figure. Though I tend to find pretty girls with a good figure more often than not tend to want to flaunt it :) They are in high demand though and they know it. Not enough of them and too many unattractive and/or overweight women.

In general though if I brought a girl back to the UK that was dressed slutty it would be seen as admirable by many with only a few indifferent or disliking it. So I wouldn't have any problems at all with a girl dressing slutty, if anything I would be encouraging her to do so and enjoying every moment of it :D
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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #14 on: November 01, 2018, 01:04:19 PM »
Or even southern England, United Kingdom ? ;)


Trenchie doesn't WANT it to change, just doesn't want her to look at other guys !

He won't buy the Visa and now he can get free BY ones reckons he knows BY women  :ROFL:

There won't be many 'short skirts' on view, soon, given it's Winter in the northen hemisphere, Trenchie...

Please keep up with you 'ANALysis' of FSU W .... really funny given the 'accuracy'..

Right now it's still beach weather in Sochi and the 'sluts' ( Trench's description for a youngish, attractive FSU W  who can still wear summer clothes / bikini ) will be on the beaches ....   :cluebat:

Sochi definitely has its appeal with the weather. However it only has a bit under 400,000 citizens. Minsk has 1.9 Million & Kiev 2.8 Million. Thd most if course is Moscow with near 12 million citizens.

I'm intending to use ML's strategy this time around so Sochi looks like I might struggle to find 1000 single women without kids to apply to. Moscow would be best in terms of numbers of course, but aside from visa issues, greater expense, etc I kind of wonder if the more slutty Ukrainian girls suit me more. From my visit their I kind of got the impression that the women there are more everyday and I'm not sure if I could bounce of that.

I also kind of prefer direct flights, less messing about so Sochi is no doubt at least one transfer each way which can add bother to it all. That said I've also considered paying for girls to travel to me in Kiev by train just for one meet to spread my net further as train travel is quite cheap out there.
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Offline Donna_Pedro

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2018, 01:06:21 PM »
My wife says it's the fault of music videos and fashion articles on stars such as Jlo, Britney Spears and others, most of whom I've never heard of. I've see some Russian language music and movie videos where the women are dressed provocatively, don't know about Ukrainian videos.



And this is true. This used to be the case in Moscow as well back in early  1990s..and then people started travelling the world  and situation  changed. Now Moscow looks the same as any european capital ( in regards to fasion),  women dressed like Britney Spears etc. stand out and easily reecognized as  visitors from other parts of Russia or Ukrain. Also to each his own. There are women for all social levels.
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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #16 on: November 01, 2018, 04:15:59 PM »
So, back to the original question:

Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?

Yes.

Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #17 on: November 01, 2018, 04:28:37 PM »
So, back to the original question:

Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?

Yes.

In what way though Steve? Should their mindset be complimentary or should it be different? Someone's other thinking mind to bounce off perhaps.
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Offline GQBlues

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #18 on: November 01, 2018, 04:52:50 PM »
A person's 'mindset' is an acquired product of their recent experiences and environment. An individual may possess a certain mindset in one location but could change if placed in a different (new) locale condition, faculties or circumstances.

In short, the chances are fairly high that the mindset of the native femmes which you abhor could well shape that imported lass to be no different in a relatively short time upon her arrival.

At the same time however, differences in people have a potential to become a better match when those differences are complimentary for both. The Yin/Yang philosophy. Opposites attract. Both of you become 'grounded'.

One thing is for certain, your personal checklist will forever keep you from finding what it is you seek because of perceived inadequacies in people you chase born by your misguided sense of superiority you see of yourself.
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Offline DaveNY

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #19 on: November 01, 2018, 05:36:07 PM »

And this is true. This used to be the case in Moscow as well back in early  1990s..and then people started travelling the world  and situation  changed. Now Moscow looks the same as any european capital ( in regards to fasion),  women dressed like Britney Spears etc. stand out and easily reecognized as  visitors from other parts of Russia or Ukrain. Also to each his own. There are women for all social levels.

Today in Moscow and St. Pete most young women who can afford it and love to shop have been to some place in Europe like Paris or Rome or London or Geneva (probably more expensive than London, Paris or Rome), etc.

While in Europe they buy something like dresses, shoes (my wife had over 25 pairs in Moscow, well over double that now) from a shop. Keep the shopping bags and use in Moscow.

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #20 on: November 01, 2018, 05:37:04 PM »
In what way though Steve? Should their mindset be complimentary or should it be different? Someone's other thinking mind to bounce off perhaps.

Yes.

Keep asking yourself - what is important to you?  When you figure that out, then start searching.

Or just bumble around trying to find hot girls to go out with you.  If it works, there you go.  It's better odds than the recent lottery craze.  How much better?  Hmm.

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #21 on: November 01, 2018, 06:54:03 PM »
Moscow would be best in terms of numbers of course,


Big cities have more women but you'll also have more competition to beat because more men live there too.
There are people that will pass info about you and your family. Do not share info about yourself or share photos as they can search for you on the internet and distribute what they found since they are allowed to participate here.

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #22 on: November 01, 2018, 10:06:57 PM »
Sochi definitely has its appeal with the weather. However it only has a bit under 400,000 citizens. Minsk has 1.9 Million & Kiev 2.8 Million. Thd most if course is Moscow with near 12 million citizens.

Oh dear, I 'forgot' - you've been there so you'd 'know'  ;)

Locals know that official figures are nonsense - many folks do not bother to register their presence

The 'official' figure in 2017 for Greater Sochi was over half a million

http://maks-portal.ru/obshchestvo-sochi/oficialno-naselenie-sochi-perevalilo-za-500-tysyach

It may be closer to 600-700K


I'm intending to use ML's strategy this time around so Sochi looks like I might struggle to find 1000 single women without kids to apply to.

I'm sure the poor ladies of Sochi will be sorry to read this..

Moscow would be best in terms of numbers of course, but aside from visa issues, greater expense, etc I kind of wonder if the more slutty Ukrainian girls suit me more. From my visit their I kind of got the impression that the women there are more everyday and I'm not sure if I could bounce of that.

'Visa issues'?  You mean the book of questions you have to fill in to apply as a Brit - as opposed to being an EU citizen ? ..or that you must pay for it ? ;)

Despite what some Russians might suggest here - the people - on a beach front or walking the street's on a Summer's day in Sochi - will look no different than -say - Odessa


I also kind of prefer direct flights, less messing about so Sochi is no doubt at least one transfer each way which can add bother to it all. That said I've also considered paying for girls to travel to me in Kiev by train just for one meet to spread my net further as train travel is quite cheap out there.

Then you are doomed to failure...

Can you fly direct to Odessa from London ? ...

I gave you the example of my Russian wife having men offer to fly her to Moscow - from Siberia - on trips that were clearly WM.. She considered such "men stupid and clearly not serious"

Are you that "stupid"?


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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #23 on: November 02, 2018, 12:54:46 PM »

I gave you the example of my Russian wife having men offer to fly her to Moscow - from Siberia - on trips that were clearly WM.. She considered such "men stupid and clearly not serious"

Are you that "stupid"?

Yes :D This is an area where on messaging wit a girl once I managed to pull of a rare stoke of social genius like BillyB often seems to do.

I was discussing going to Odessa with the girl O went to meet in Nikolaev which as you know when I met her a couple of summers ago didn't work out. Well at any rate I was suggesting during messaging that she come to Odessa (this would have saved me a journey). She was dead set against this saying that a real man would come meet her - that was until I stated how far I would have to travel and the time, expense and bother for me to just travel to Odessa. Hence it was only fair that she meet me half way (not literally of course). After explaining it to her like that she saw reason in what I was saying and started to come around to meeting me in Odessa. We agreed to wait until nearer the time when I would finalise my travel plans and fully decide then. As it turned out I decided in the end that I would like to travel to Nikolaev to see what it was like partly as no girls in Odessa had come forward. That way I could holiday in both cities for a break. Point was though from someone who was staunchly against going to another FSU city to meet a guy I had talked her around and she would have gone had I asked.

As you no doubt know FSW are very difficult in changing their mind once made up. It's almost like a difficult game to do so requiring a lot of skill or more probably in my case luck, lol.

On other stuff I have tried to change a FSW mind and failed miserably so it is not an easy task.

Some women may not go, but if I concern myself about the Woman's game I fail. I need to concern myself with my side of the game and what I want not what appeases the woman. My reasoning if a girl is interested enough and the logic of it has been explained to her, she'll come.
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline Boethius

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Re: Should a people's/person's mindset be important in your search?
« Reply #24 on: November 02, 2018, 01:33:06 PM »

Every now and then I am being pulled into various RW socials. These days they are more like UW socials. These young women dressed in that slut style make latino girls look like church ladies. It stands out even in a big city like Houston. And on a number of occasions I have been approached by AM - husbands, asking me to somehow convince their wives to tone it  down a little bit. They were complaining that they can not  introduce them to co-workers and family members. What looked OK in those  Ukrainian towns,  looks quite  scandalous here.

Itís flower-bee. Now the bee wants to change the rules, and hasnít got the cojones to do so himself.

Donít kid yourself. Iíve seen RW here also dressed that way. Our kids call it ďFOBĒ.

My better half is probably around your age. He said UW always dressed provocatively. He said women in Moscow did as well, but as a larger city, there was more variation. He said it was always most evident in the subway. He also lived in Leningrad for 5 years. He said women there didnít dress provocatively. His theory is that it was because Leningrad was a very proletarian city. He said you could often see ďproletarian chicĒ (митьки).
« Last Edit: November 02, 2018, 02:04:17 PM by Boethius »
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

 

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