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Author Topic: Wow. It's been over 18 years since I posted on this board. MarriedNDivorced a RW  (Read 1759 times)

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Offline iolanik

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It's been a long time since I first started on this board when there was maybe 20+ members back in 2000.  I went to Russia, met a girl, ended up getting a K1 (on my own) brought her here, got married, had a beautiful baby girl (who's now going to be a Sr in HS!), bought a house, had a son (who's now taller than me!) and got DIVORCED.

There were some board members I actually got to meet personally, met a lot of other board members IN RUSSIA during the process and developed some good ties and friendships. I have to say that after being married to a RW and also EXPERIENCING OTHER RWs and talking with friends who married RWs, I will NEVER, repeat, NEVER deal with RWs again.......

**I wonder if my original trip reports are still listed on here?**

Offline GenMish

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It's been a long time since I first started on this board when there was maybe 20+ members back in 2000.  I went to Russia, met a girl, ended up getting a K1 (on my own) brought her here, got married, had a beautiful baby girl (who's now going to be a Sr in HS!), bought a house, had a son (who's now taller than me!) and got DIVORCED.

There were some board members I actually got to meet personally, met a lot of other board members IN RUSSIA during the process and developed some good ties and friendships. I have to say that after being married to a RW and also EXPERIENCING OTHER RWs and talking with friends who married RWs, I will NEVER, repeat, NEVER deal with RWs again.......

**I wonder if my original trip reports are still listed on here?**

I am in a similar situation. I went to Russia 25 years ago, k1, married, children, good lifestyle, and recently divorced. I was thinking of returning perhaps for another round.

Why would you never date a RW again?

Offline ML

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I have to say that after being married to a RW and also EXPERIENCING OTHER RWs and talking with friends who married RWs, I will NEVER, repeat, NEVER deal with RWs again.......

Now tell us how you really feel !!!
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online msmob

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Hi iolanik

I was clearly a member after you and I am a glutton for punishment ;)


Online 2tallbill

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I have to say that after being married to a RW and also EXPERIENCING OTHER RWs and talking with friends who married RWs, I will NEVER, repeat, NEVER deal with RWs again.......

**I wonder if my original trip reports are still listed on here?**

It's sounds like you had at least a moderately good 20+ year run.

I know quite a few guys who swore off being serious with a woman
ever again after getting divorced. Most of them did a few years later.
My first wife had large breasts, and I never pursued another big
breasted woman again. I can still picture her laying on her back
with a breast under each arm pit and we've been divorced for
more than a decade. 

Luckily for you there are billions of women on this planet and many 
of them are not like your exwife.

Udachi!

Bill


When did you write your trip report and what was your moniker?
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline iolanik

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I was married for 7 years, gave my RW wife the option to stay at home, go to work but she wanted to pursue a B.A. degree in graphic design at a Cal State school by our house. I paid for her degree, brought her parents over every year and took them back to my home of Hawai'i with us each year. Her parents stayed with us from Nov to Feb during the russian winters bc I thought it would be better for them since theyre older and its pretty F'in cold there.
She ulitmately got her citizenship and then it was all downhill from there.

I say I would NEVER do this again bc frankly, I understand RWs all too well now. For those of you who are married, we can have a discussion and I can state things and you will ultimately nod your heads to what I say. TO those who are dating RWs or corresponding with them, you wont get it yet bc they are the best when trying to hook you.

Offline iolanik

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I am in a similar situation. I went to Russia 25 years ago, k1, married, children, good lifestyle, and recently divorced. I was thinking of returning perhaps for another round.

Why would you never date a RW again?

Genmish: I understand the RW perfectly now after living with one, being married 7 yrs, 2 kids, and multiple friends who have married and or divorced RWs or even dated them. The RW experience and understanding now what their country, culture and the dynamics of how RWs have been raised is clearly evident to me that they have a F*CKED up attitude towards men, economics and mainly how their role is in a marriage. I posted a elaboration on another thread. I will post it here.

Offline Boethius

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Have you ever considered that perhaps AM are the ones with the, as you so "eloquently" stated, "f***ked up attitude", and this is the cause of the RW's attitude?


This post was composed without the aid of google.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Online krimster2

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There was once a group of blind men, who had never come across an elephant before
and one day found themselves in the presence of one.
They each tried to learn what an elephant is like by touching it.
Each blind man feels a different part of the elephant's body, but only one part, such as the side or the tusk. They then describe the elephant based on their limited experience.
However, their descriptions of the elephant are different from each other.
So they began to suspect that the others were dishonest and so they started fighting.
The moral of this story is that humans have a tendency to claim absolute truth based on their limited, subjective experience as they ignore other people's limited, subjective experiences.

so rather than being just another blind man providing my description, let me instead say this
almost all external problems we have with the outside world
can actually be explained as internal problems we have with our self
but we are blind men and so we cannot see this

immature people deny various aspects of truth
deluded by the aspects they do understand, they deny the aspects they don't understand



« Last Edit: June 04, 2019, 11:47:03 AM by krimster2 »
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

Offline iolanik

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It's sounds like you had at least a moderately good 20+ year run.

I know quite a few guys who swore off being serious with a woman
ever again after getting divorced. Most of them did a few years later.
My first wife had large breasts, and I never pursued another big
breasted woman again. I can still picture her laying on her back
with a breast under each arm pit and we've been divorced for
more than a decade. 

Luckily for you there are billions of women on this planet and many 
of them are not like your exwife.

Udachi!

Bill


When did you write your trip report and what was your moniker?


Bill: I wrote my trip report back in July 2000 to St. Petersburg and Moscow. Wasn't 20+ yrs, more like 7yrs but still paying for it. I havent given up on marriage, although not looking, Im just saying I'll never do the RW thing ever again. Billions of women on this planet that are NOT like my wife? Wanna bet?!

Online Patagonie

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There was once a group of blind men, who had never come across an elephant before
and one day found themselves in the presence of one.
They each tried to learn what an elephant is like by touching it.
Each blind man feels a different part of the elephant's body, but only one part, such as the side or the tusk. They then describe the elephant based on their limited experience.
However, their descriptions of the elephant are different from each other.
So they began to suspect that the others were dishonest and so they started fighting.
The moral of this story is that humans have a tendency to claim absolute truth based on their limited, subjective experience as they ignore other people's limited, subjective experiences.

so rather than being just another blind man providing my description, let me instead say this
almost all external problems we have with others
are actually internal problems we have with ourself
but we are blind men and so we cannot see this
Krim and the elephant story, i really love you lol.
Read : "Operation white panther"
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, s taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, i belong to the festival.

Online krimster2

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I am a fellow of infinite jest
glad to make you smile!!!

вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

Offline iolanik

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There was once a group of blind men, who had never come across an elephant before
and one day found themselves in the presence of one.
They each tried to learn what an elephant is like by touching it.
Each blind man feels a different part of the elephant's body, but only one part, such as the side or the tusk. They then describe the elephant based on their limited experience.
However, their descriptions of the elephant are different from each other.
So they began to suspect that the others were dishonest and so they started fighting.
The moral of this story is that humans have a tendency to claim absolute truth based on their limited, subjective experience as they ignore other people's limited, subjective experiences.

so rather than being just another blind man providing my description, let me instead say this
almost all external problems we have with the outside world
can actually be explained as internal problems we have with our self
but we are blind men and so we cannot see this

immature people deny various aspects of truth
deluded by the aspects they do understand, they deny the aspects they don't understand

 So what happens when other blind men get together and have the same story?  and those same blind men meet other blind men to compare not necessarily story endings, but comparable character notes???? And for the record, I can detail all of my character flaws, however, with the Hawaiian people, GREED, SELFISHNESS are not one of them. Of course per your parable, everyone's experience may be different, but let me ask those who have visited my home COUNTRY of Hawai'i (Big Island to be exact) HOW MANY PEOPLE WILL SAY SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENCE WITH MY PEOPLE (Kanaka) AND LAND ('Aina) VERSUS THE POSITIVE EXPERIENCE? So does meeting the larger statisitcal population of a certain opinion reflect a more general yet consistent assessment or does an OUTLIER or exception represent the general perception?  I am glad to hear that your experience with the RW has turned out positive and I am not stating absolutes, but I have come across way too many examples where the attributes of RWs (not necessarily ending in divorce per se) are very common in regards to the traits we DID NOT look for when first starting this process.

Offline iolanik

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Have you ever considered that perhaps AM are the ones with the, as you so "eloquently" stated, "f***ked up attitude", and this is the cause of the RW's attitude?


This post was composed without the aid of google.

I am not stating that RWs are the only ones who can screw up a situation. During my days when I started this process we saw a bunch of guys who treated their RWs like garbage so Yes I agree AM can cause a marriage or relationship to dissolve based on their "F*cked Up attitudes" But what I am referring to is the RWs attitude due to the way they were raised.  I found that viewing a RWs parents and how their relationship is has a big role in how their daughters grow up. This is no different than what we experience here. All I am saying is the warning signs and red flags that have put men off of AW are also APPLICABLE TO RWs, the only difference is that men who engage in this process do not get to see it first hand. I want to know, How many guys here who engage in this RW process have ACTUALLY SPENT TIME WITH THEIR RWs PARENTS AND HAVE EXPERIENCED THE INTERACTION BTWN YOUR RW AND HER PARENTS???  What do you know about their family history? What is the relationship btwn your RW and her parents? Do you even know?

Offline iolanik

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Hi iolanik

I was clearly a member after you and I am a glutton for punishment ;)

I understand. I used to like to go to Las Vegas 7-10x per year even though I know the odds are stacked against me. But after getting your nuts kicked in and losing big $$$$, the glitz of Vegas and all it offers tends to wear off...........

Online John Gaunt

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Re: Wow. It's been over 18 years since I posted on this board. MarriedNDivorced a RW

Is this like a Badge of Honour?

Offline iolanik

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I do want to say one thing though, after all of the trials and tribulations (Details I left out but would make you cringe) I went thru in this whole RW process, I would not change a thing if I could go back. WHY YOU ASK? THis is Why........The 2 MOST GREATEST AND VALUABLE THINGS THAT EVER HAPPENED IN MY LIFE THAT I WOULDN'T TRADE FOR ANYTHING!!!!!!!

Offline iolanik

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Is this like a Badge of Honour?

John Gaunt: No , just a stroll down memory lane when I first started this process and this board was very young at the time. A lot of good memories and laughs had with the few members we had back then. Amazing how large this board has become. I hope the success rate is >60%

Offline GenMish

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I am not stating that RWs are the only ones who can screw up a situation. During my days when I started this process we saw a bunch of guys who treated their RWs like garbage so Yes I agree AM can cause a marriage or relationship to dissolve based on their "F*cked Up attitudes" But what I am referring to is the RWs attitude due to the way they were raised.  I found that viewing a RWs parents and how their relationship is has a big role in how their daughters grow up. This is no different than what we experience here. All I am saying is the warning signs and red flags that have put men off of AW are also APPLICABLE TO RWs, the only difference is that men who engage in this process do not get to see it first hand. I want to know, How many guys here who engage in this RW process have ACTUALLY SPENT TIME WITH THEIR RWs PARENTS AND HAVE EXPERIENCED THE INTERACTION BTWN YOUR RW AND HER PARENTS???  What do you know about their family history? What is the relationship btwn your RW and her parents? Do you even know?

I think that is an excellent point about RW parents. During my 23 yr marriage, I spent many weeks every year or two with my inlaws. I got along with everyone VERY WELL, but my wifes Mom. While it is an AW red flag of the daughter turning into the Mother,  I ignored that flag because I thought her Mom was a product of the Soviet system. I thought no way can such a young beautiful sweet classy intelligent lady that I married could turn into that, but it happened.

In fact I learned that lesson so well, I made it a requirement to visit family when I wanted to visit a lady recently. She denied the request, and I punted and didn't go see her

Offline iolanik

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I think that is an excellent point about RW parents. During my 23 yr marriage, I spent many weeks every year or two with my inlaws. I got along with everyone VERY WELL, but my wifes Mom. While it is an AW red flag of the daughter turning into the Mother,  I ignored that flag because I thought her Mom was a product of the Soviet system. I thought no way can such a young beautiful sweet classy intelligent lady that I married could turn into that, but it happened.

In fact I learned that lesson so well, I made it a requirement to visit family when I wanted to visit a lady recently. She denied the request, and I punted and didn't go see her

Genmish: My ex told me stories about her mom divorcing her dad and using her as a child to threaten him. If I had known that BEFORE we got married I probably wouldve punted. I think you did right by punting on the chick who denied you to visit with her and her parents. There could be reasons like shes a bit embarassed by their living situation or that they are pensioners who are living in squalor among many other reasons but I think unless its clarified or she is just straight out denying it, I wouldve left that one alone. I think if a guy was serious and wanted to meet a girl's parents, one would think the girl (if she were serious) would love to have an opportunity to visit her folks with her AM especially if he were to pay for the trip for the 2 of you to go visit them (not to mention bring some gifts for them) Question for you if you dont mind: How old are you and what RW age range are you looking at?

Offline Boethius

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Or the woman may think that a random guy she's met online should not get to meet her parents until she and that man are serious.  Personally, were I a single woman and a man I'd never met in person asked to meet my parents before we'd met IRL and developed some sort of relationship, I would find that request odd, at the very least.


This post was composed without the aid of google.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2019, 12:56:59 PM by Boethius »
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline GQBlues

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It's been a long time since I first started on this board when there was maybe 20+ members back in 2000.  I went to Russia, met a girl, ended up getting a K1 (on my own) brought her here, got married, had a beautiful baby girl (who's now going to be a Sr in HS!), bought a house, had a son (who's now taller than me!) and got DIVORCED.

There were some board members I actually got to meet personally, met a lot of other board members IN RUSSIA during the process and developed some good ties and friendships. I have to say that after being married to a RW and also EXPERIENCING OTHER RWs and talking with friends who married RWs, I will NEVER, repeat, NEVER deal with RWs again.......

**I wonder if my original trip reports are still listed on here?**

Pehea 'oe Iolani!

Island boy here..P.I.

Married RW in Oahu a few thousand moons ago, too.

I remember you, though never met. We did exchanged PMs once or twice before. Sad to see the your saga ended bruddah, but maybe just as well.

I've said the same thing you're saying that's bolded above. Nothing against FSUWs, certainly nothing against my wonderful wife, there are just certain, maybe mundane, benign or simple things that just doesn't quite complete the picture for me, happy camper as I am still married. Go figure....It may well be that pesky' cultural differences', who knows....IMO.

Friends often ask, I simply tell them 'stay home'!

Anyway, good to see you around! Aloha! Pomaika'i!
~Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people~ Gator :P

Offline GenMish

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Genmish: My ex told me stories about her mom divorcing her dad and using her as a child to threaten him. If I had known that BEFORE we got married I probably wouldve punted. I think you did right by punting on the chick who denied you to visit with her and her parents. There could be reasons like shes a bit embarassed by their living situation or that they are pensioners who are living in squalor among many other reasons but I think unless its clarified or she is just straight out denying it, I wouldve left that one alone. I think if a guy was serious and wanted to meet a girl's parents, one would think the girl (if she were serious) would love to have an opportunity to visit her folks with her AM especially if he were to pay for the trip for the 2 of you to go visit them (not to mention bring some gifts for them) Question for you if you dont mind: How old are you and what RW age range are you looking at?


I am 55, and the lady I wanted to see was late 30s with one child. The age range I would consider for a RW lady is mid 30s to late 40s. The main reason I wanted to meet family is to make sure the lady is on the up and up, and not a scammer. I know enough Russian now, where it will be difficult to fool me.


I think you will agree.  You and I have to choose our battles wisely from now on

 

Online krimster2

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I understand your anger my kaikaina...
when I was younger I once felt as you feel now towards other women
I was married to my Russian woman on the beach at Maui
so this howlie is a little familiar with Hawaiians
probably most “laid back” people I ever met...
but can see where someone from that laid-back culture
would have compatibility issues with Russian culture

what helped me a lot really was being in the military
there I learned how to not react to being yelled at
you may laugh at this, but being yelled at by my wife had so little effect on me
that after the first year of marriage she just stopped doing it, because what was the point
if it had no effect, that it didn’t even “register”

ya gotta understand Russians have a PTSD culture
read how PTSD sufferers behave, this is how most Russians behave
so if you “fight back”, guess what happens?
it gets worse...

if like me, you ignore it, it disappears after they learn to adapt to their new environment
it took my wife a few years to get past yelling at me for various transgressions
shoes on in the house, making a mess somewhere, etc

the other thing is, I am absolutely devoted to my family
willing to make ANY sacrifice for them, their happiness takes infinite priority over my own
I feel I’ve pretty much already gotten everything out of life I need or want
and it’s their needs and happiness I’m focused on
and...
they get it, that this is my way of showing my love
and they each find ways to show me their love

as far as her family goes...
it was an issue that we had a conflict over
she was very loyal to her family, but they were using us
so my problem was not really with her, but with them
something I’d tolerate for the sake of family
and my children liked being with their grandparents
in the end my wife began to see things the way I did
and so now all is well

so to deal with Russian wimmin
you NEVER directly oppose them
you become the water that flows around the boulder
and wears it down until it is less than a grain of sand
this requires patience
« Last Edit: June 04, 2019, 01:13:20 PM by krimster2 »
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

Online Faux Pas

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I am not stating that RWs are the only ones who can screw up a situation. During my days when I started this process we saw a bunch of guys who treated their RWs like garbage so Yes I agree AM can cause a marriage or relationship to dissolve based on their "F*cked Up attitudes" But what I am referring to is the RWs attitude due to the way they were raised.  I found that viewing a RWs parents and how their relationship is has a big role in how their daughters grow up. This is no different than what we experience here. All I am saying is the warning signs and red flags that have put men off of AW are also APPLICABLE TO RWs, the only difference is that men who engage in this process do not get to see it first hand. I want to know, How many guys here who engage in this RW process have ACTUALLY SPENT TIME WITH THEIR RWs PARENTS AND HAVE EXPERIENCED THE INTERACTION BTWN YOUR RW AND HER PARENTS???  What do you know about their family history? What is the relationship btwn your RW and her parents? Do you even know?

I've been married to one close to 11 years now. I've actually spent a lot of time with my wife's family whom have also become my family. Some of them have spent time with us at our home. I travel to Russia on average every other year and spend 2-3 weeks at a time. I have Russian friends and acquaintances in Russia outside of my wife's friends and family. My MIL is very near and dear to me as is many in my wife's family. I can say with full conviction Yes, I know her upbringing and there was little if any negativity about it. My wife describes it as typical and normal for the times.

I'm sorry your relationship went tits up. I would say the success rate is far below 60%. More like 20% or below. It's a pretty safe bet you contributed at least 50% of the failure in your marriage? You're painting a pretty wide swath with that brush of yours. Women are women the world over. If you wanted a subjugated woman, find you a muslim. If passive is what you seek look to Asia. You went to Russia, did you not understand the women there have the same DNA as their brethren here? You sound bitter. I can honestly state my Russian wife is probably the best decision I have made in life. No regrets and if she were to leave me tomorrow I still wouldn't have any.

 

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Re: SC meets Moby in Georgia and we end up in ...Armenia ? by Maxx2
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Re: Music I love by SANDRO43
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Re: Operation White Panther by Patagonie
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Re: SC meets Moby in Georgia and we end up in ...Armenia ? by Maxx2
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Re: SC meets Moby in Georgia and we end up in ...Armenia ? by krimster2
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Re: SC meets Moby in Georgia and we end up in ...Armenia ? by msmob
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Re: SC meets Moby in Georgia and we end up in ...Armenia ? by Maxx2
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My 50 year old teenager by ML
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Re: Posting Pictures of You and Your Lady by krimster2
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Re: Posting Pictures of You and Your Lady by msmob
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