Outlook for Children of joint Western/FSU relationships

[Trenchcoat]

about 5 years ago, pre-war

head up north into the mountains and there's skiing
another GREAT metal detector location with good weather

never been to the Turkish side, don't want the Greeks see that stamped on my passport
gazillions of russians everywhere in Turkey, some as tourists, some as draft evaders, some as 'biznessmen'

what did you do during the war daddy?
well...I shoveled shit in Ukraine

Who Flung Dung
Hurler of Excrement
and a mean, lean latrine cleaning machine

Then you'll probably have seen the modern out of town shopping centres they have around Cyprus on the Greek Side. They're great, with loads of clothes shops, many good brands of clothes. You can get your daughter out of her blue boiler suit with white hard hat and into something more sexy there like a nice beautiful dress to complement her elegant form.

Then introduce her to the great and the not so good lol of whichever community does it for you over there. Now that's where a woman's worth lies, hooking her up to some rich dudes son, one she likes of course and forging something great there. We're talking high society here not eeking out and existence in some grubby dingy power station.

Hook her up to the wealthy there and you're then hob knobbing it in posh palatial paradises and enjoying great luxuries. You've said it yourself that working for an Employer is a mugs game, it's silly for your daughter to do that when you are already well set up in life and could even do better.

When I was in one of the new modern out of town shopping centres there I was up on the top floor with Kherson Girl (this was 2017 a few years before you went there) in a clothes store, she was trying okna nice dress. At the same tind this tall young greek girl in her mid to late teens was trying on a dress, it was very elegant and classy but also somewhat revealing. I couldn't help but gaze in awe at the scene

It's the sort of scene I wouldn't mind being a part of, a far better lifestyle, none of that wearing jeans rubbish there, you get women looking like real women.

I think it could potentially be your paradise Krim and right up your street.

If you want weed they pretty much do it everywhere in Europe and though not legal if you aren't too obvious with it and only had a personal use quantity the likelihood is that no one will bother you.

Or just do it legally in California is that last I heard about it there. Weed isn't my thing so I don't do that scene but whatever suits you.

[Trenchcoat]

Here's one for Krim:

http://youtu.be/lG4Me0LCgk8?si=UJTKLpNM_fecgF-9

Many Israeli's now relocating to Cyprus for safety.

Cyprus offers Golden Visas for residency that can eventually lead to EU citizenship and Nom Dom tax status to avoid paying taxes.

What's not for our Krim to like

[Trenchcoat]

Exactly! This is the reality! So raising a girl like a girl, meaning just to be a wife is totally stupid! Most probably 90% chance her husband will not be able to support a family 100%. And even if he does, there are other women fighting for such a man and he is very likely to leave her with the kids (at least 50% chance!) . Having a profession for a young woman in this world is a MUST. Ours just now got an internship doing a full stack development for her computer science degree. We are super happy

Might seem like a smart move but as our Mobers used to say OR IS IT?

Just think of the situation your friend Lena is in, she's worked her way into a $150k IT job, hates it aside from the money, wants to find a guy that earns about the same or more, is 6ft tall, etc and wants to buy a house with him, then have kids so she can drop her job that she hates for him to then provide instead (probably in a job he hates).

But alas she can't find anyone to fit the bill.

Could it be that she has taken a job that could have gone to a guy and is now ironically stuck in the horrid job that she would now prefer a guy to have

So she has in effect wound up in a prison almost of her own making.


Hence why I say that it's better for the guy to have the career job and the girl to leave that area well alone unless she is ugly, morbidly obese, etc.

If women stayed out of higher paid jobs then there would be more women satisfied as there would be more highly paid men around. I don't say this in terms of being against women, I think most women get in better more as homemakers than in the career world. In contrast men gaining an advantage in the workplace through girls not competing means that the guy is in the trap spoken about above rather than the woman. The man potentially then takes on the sacrifice of being chained up to the job until retirement so it's of no great gender victory for him.

However I would say under the traditional system that both males and females get something of what they want more often. A woman getting a career might look like a smart move but I would argue that it's actually ultimately for many women just a trap.

[olgac]

Actually Lena once she changed her views that she doesn't need a 100% provider, now has several suitors who have about the same salary, she is currently selecting from 3 different guys. all under 39. All tall, all make over 100K a year. One is younger than her. She even set a requirement that they must be German, Austrian or Swiss immigrants, and they all are! So the problem was mainly with her expectation that she should be able to quit her job.

A woman can still decide to be a homemaker once she has kids, but with 50% chance of divorce, becoming a homemaker without any education or job experience is just irresponsible. How can you put all your bets on the fact that he will want to be with You all Your life even as You get older? How do You know he will not control the money, complain You spend too much, will not abuse you etc etc. Recently on my Russian FB group there was a thread where older married women gave younger girls advice. And the most common advice was to have your own as they put it "safety pillow" such as your own apartment, passive income or a career to fall back on.

On the other hand a Russian friend of mine met her American husband here while studying and married early. She got an accounting degree, worked about 5 years. And then they started having kids. They had 3 kids and she stayed at home. Now after 8 years of being a SAHM she is back at work in her field making money for kids' college tuition or whatever they might need.

[olgac]

Also by far THE easiest  way for any young woman to meet her future husband is by working or studying wiih him!
Especially in a male dominated field!
One time my daughter called me from the university, she almost fainted in her computer science class and wanted me to
pick her up. When I arrived, she was in a hallway surrounded by at least 6 young men from her class all trying to make her feel better 

[Trenchcoat]

 

Also by far THE easiest  way for any young woman to meet her future husband is by working or studying wiih him!
Especially in a male dominated field!
One time my daughter called me from the university, she almost fainted in her computer science class and wanted me to
pick her up. When I arrived, she was in a hallway surrounded by at least 6 young men from her class all trying to make her feel better 

That's called simping lol

The guys I mean.

I don't know how things are in the US but in the UK I think not that many people meet at University or Work. I've been to University a few times but there have only been the odd person here or there dating at Uni, to another student at the Uni, and the odd person dating outside. Possibly the odd nature student some married some not. Generally most students were single and stayed single, it was very sad really. I think there were two main problems, one was it being awkward for guys (usually) to ask a girl out on a.course and then be stuck in an awkward situation with her on their courses if she says no. The second being that both male & female students have coursework going on that cuts down on a lot of time for dating. I guess a third reason could be the feeling of competition, probably moreso from the female perspective that if the guy is on the same course she could see him as a competitor rather than as a companion.

The workplace you have to be real careful if you value your job here in the UK. If asking a girl out at University could be awkward the workplace could potentially be even worse. The level of awkwardness seeing a girl who has knocked you back at work potentially every day could be high. Embarrassment for the guy also perhaps moreso than at Uni, not what a guy wants if planning to be at the company a while. Even more of an issue would be if the woman claims harassment which she might do even if the guy just asks her out once claiming it was unwanted. So potential for the guy to be highly embarrassed at work and potentially losing his job that he relies upon for income.

So most guys just don't need the heat and don't bother these days at work and at Uni. Hence the rising number of singles in Western countries and the falling birth rate also. In general the guy really needs the girl to show keen interest in him at work or uni and make it easy for him to decide on a date together, anything else like a direct asking out by the guy is really him sticking his neck out and a big risk of embarrassing & awkward times. I think most guys on courses or at work feel similar unless they are the popular guy who can easily score with most women.

So that leaves either hobby/interests/sport groups - again have to be a bit careful there, online dating or random meets. Random meets say in a train or at a bus stop are usually difficult as you don't know the girl and getting conversation going isn't always the easiest. Gauging interest and breaking the ice isn't always easy then a guy has to be careful of harassment again as the girl might be a bit feminist and after burning any guys ass who might dare try to chat her up. That essentially leaves online dating which is where most guys head if they want to try at all, many guys will just stick with their Xbox, Netflix and whatever other diversion they have. Online dating in the West is usually pretty hard for most guys as they are often frozen out by the Chads (pretty boys, gym rats, etc) who are seen by women as the top 10 percent or so of guys. Those Chads will generally just use those girls for sex of course and the girl wonders why the relationship didn't last but often they just move onto the next Chad in the hope of better luck lol 🙄

Speed Dating is another venue to meet a girl but unfortunately the girls expectations tend to be a bit too high and usually they don't pick any guys even if the guys aren't all that bad. Again usually they want the something extra, the Chad, the wealthy guy, the socially extrovert guy, but most guys that attend are pretty everyday guys as are usually the women.

So that brings us to International dating/FSU dating. Now this is an arena of dating where the everyday western guy can get a look in. Hence my arrival to the scene lol. For guys that want to bother looking abroad (not all that many) the FSU scene offers some actual real hope. It's not always easy and there is learning to be done but it does at least offer the chance of being able to date probably in the old skool way we used to date here in the past many decades ago. So the current sad state of affairs in western dating really. From the female perspective possibly it looks better since depending on the female some have many offerings. However increasingly online on YouTube, TikTok, etc many females in the West report that now even guys aren't wanting to bother and they are not liking it.


Well aside from that all I would say on the female wanting some kind of protection, reassurance, back up, etc if she fears ending up in a bad place with a guy is that it might just end up counterproductive. Sure the woman will have the money behind her, independence, etc but trying to replace the guys role in looking after the woman in a relationship (I know that a minority of men don't) can upset that mutual reliance on each other than can help a relationship grow strong over time and know where everyone is in that relationship. Again the risk of competition comes in that one dies better than the other, one doesn't feel the other is good enough or trying hard enough or one gets jealous of the other if they do so well, etc. It can potentially mean people trying to be too independent of each other in a relationship.

So I think while some people can make a go of it in relationships in western dating in general western societal values often greatly hinder the dating world in the West.

[olgac]

While working I saw many couples formed. The young women working with me hardly ever stayed single for long.
There is not really a ban in most companies against employees dating. There is usually a ban on dating someone who reports to You r. Sometimes the rules where that if You are on the same team, you must inform, and then one of You gets transferred so no problem at all! And yes the harassment meaning continuing advances after a person clearly said no, is not allowed.

Hobbies are also pretty good. my friend, Lena, got into rock climbing at the gym, and posted looking for a climbing partner. She was going to dates with some of those guys too but one was way too young, the other one is very good looking, but has no degree, he is a carpenter and has many tatoos

The real problem I see is for women who don't meet men in their regular life: don't work with men, don't do hobbies with men, then they only meet men on dating sites. And yes if You are an FSU woman wanting to meet a foreigner, You must use the dating sites.

Well aside from that all I would say on the female wanting some kind of protection, reassurance, back up, etc if she fears ending up in a bad place with a guy is that it might just end up counterproductive. Sure the woman will have the money behind her, independence, etc but trying to replace the guys role in looking after the woman in a relationship (I know that a minority of men don't) can upset that mutual reliance on each other than can help a relationship grow strong over time and know where everyone is in that relationship. Again the risk of competition comes in that one dies better than the other, one doesn't feel the other is good enough or trying hard enough or one gets jealous of the other if they do so well, etc. It can potentially mean people trying to be too independent of each other in a relationship.

First of all having a job is NOT trying to replace a man in a relationship LOL. And especially if you came into marriage prepared with a degree and few years of experience and then became SAHM, that's for sure not replacing a man and has absolutely ZERO drawbacks for a young women. The only reason You don't like this, Trench, is because you want a woman to not be able to walk away when she is unsatisfied. I mean it's good for You but not for a woman. This is what You are in fact trying to say by "reliance on each other than can help a relationship grow strong over time and know where everyone is in that relationship". This reliance is one way, and power corrupts. Besides would You want to have sex with a woman who is not really into it and is just pretending because she has nowhere to go?

I worked with many men, Trench, and they often get annoyed with a wife who is too needy, clingy, controlling etc. who doesn't understand what the man is going through at work and only demanding things. In Russian there is an expression "a well fed person will never understand a hungry person" so in this sense the only woman who can understand what the man is going through at work, is a woman who works herself or at least used to work. And the only man who will understand and appreciate what it's like to be with small kids is a man who has tried it himself. So in my opinion strict division of roles in a family by gender leads to many more disagreements than being too independent.