Large age difference

[MandM]

I've read somewhere that to get the ideal age difference between man and a woman you need to divide man's age by half and add seven years. For example, for a 42 years old man the ideal partner would be aged 42/2+7=28 years. I am pleased to say that Mark and I fall into this ideal category!:D

[Bruno]

[user=300]M&M[/user] wrote:

I've read somewhere that to get the ideal age difference between man and a woman you need to divide man's age by half and add seven years. For example, for a 42 years old man the ideal partner would be aged 42/2+7=28 years. I am pleased to say that Mark and I fall into this ideal category!:D

Yep, maybe right formule now... but in 20 year, with the same formule, you will be 10 year too much old for him...

I think that the perfect age is not count in year... two people with the same maturity go good together... and some people say that RW reach a high maturity enough early...

 

[Turboguy]

I think divide by half and subtract something is better.  

I am happy that I decided to go for an older woman.   The gal I was pretty serious about before my fiance was 22 so now I have an older woman and it works out much better. 

[Seekandfind]

Because it was your own statement that EVERYBODY has his price. May be I shall feel more respect to you if I know out your price:P:P

 As I said a price for what, everything depends on what someone is being asked to do? When I was being interviewed for my security clearence many years ago I was asked by the review board if I would ever sell secrets to a foreign power. My answer was maybe, it all depended on what I was being asked to reveal but I assured the panel that the price would be extreme, enough for me to retire comfortably forever in a lifestyle few ever imagine.

 The review board thanked me for my honesty and granted me my security clearance.

 I was wondering how the hell a retired General could afford that kind of lifestyle!!...lol
[/quote]

[Son of Clyde]

Turbo, I think the largest age gap I have seen is 37 years. Sounds like you may have exceeded. If both parties are happy, why not?

[Son of Clyde]

I think maturity level must enter into the equation.

If the girl is 24 and behaves like a 36 year old woman this is ok.

If the man is 45 and acts like he is 14, this is not so good.

[itstime]

My gal is 16 years younger than me. We visited her English tutor and this women showed us an album. Most of her students are girls who want to marry foreigners. Almost every one of these girls was 14 or 15 years younger than her husband. This 65 year old woman considered that to be a good match, in other words I think she advised the girls to seek men with this much age difference.

Possibly this has something to do with the culture of south central Ukraine.

 

[Bruno]

My gal is 16 years younger than me. We visited her English tutor and this women showed us an album. Most of her students are girls who want to marry foreigners. Almost every one of these girls was 14 or 15 years younger than her husband. This 65 year old woman considered that to be a good match, in other words I think she advised the girls to seek men with this much age difference.

Possibly this has something to do with the culture of south central Ukraine.

 

Not really something to do with culture... since the middle age for dead in ex-USSR is around 54 year for man, marry a very older man in ex-USSR will lead to a lot of widow...

But these FSU woman know that man life more long in our country... that a man from 35 year old and up have already build a career and is enough secure for a foreign marriage and build a family... So, marry a western man more old allow security and since Western man life more long and are more healthy that russian one, this is not a real problem...

A man up 50 year old is always able to make children... and same in case of little problem, a western man is able to pay viagra... more old mean more money, a house, a car, good education for children...

Of course, if they can find a young rich western man, they choose him... but several older western man who search foreign woman are usually in good shape... i have already see here photo from some over 50 year old and i can say they they look almost like young casanova... by example, when i see Turboguy, with his baby face, it is difficult to believe he is a older one...

It is more a culture of foreign dating... not a local culture...

[Seekandfind]

post deleted. Seekandfind please stop these personal attacks.

[jb]

Damn~!  I missed another one.

itstime, you know nothing of which you speak.  You should not believe for one moment that young women in Ukraine, or any other part of the FSU for that matter, are culturally attracted to much older men.  They aren't wired that way any more than a young woman from Kansas.

Please refrain from posting BS.

[anono]

dang! me too!  i wish trhe moderator wasn't so fast so i could read what the hell is going on...lol

you know me, i don't want to be left out on all the fun!:cool:

[Bruno]

dang! me too!  i wish trhe moderator wasn't so fast so i could read what the hell is going on...lol

I have miss it too  ... but i don't worry, i am sure that other attack will come  ... but really, i don't care about it so much  ... i begin have some experience in these domain too and i have learn to control myself better :cool:

 

[itstime]

itstime, you know nothing of which you speak. You should not believe for one moment that young women in Ukraine, or any other part of the FSU for that matter, are culturally attracted to much older men. They aren't wired that way any more than a young woman from Kansas.

Please refrain from posting BS.

jb, I am not posting BS. And I never said that young women in Ukraine are culturally attracted to older men. If you want to read what I did say, the unedited post is still up there.

I don't think that women make decisions about spouses or sexual partners in the same way that men do. For one, they look for a man who they feel safe an comfortable with, so they can relax and let go, submit. This is an emotional decision, not a question of physical lust. In Ukraine there seems to be less social pressure on women to choose socially acceptable men.

For instance in the USA it is harder for a young woman to choose an older man because her friends, family and even strangers will all pressure her against this. This external pressure makes it hard for her to feel safe and comfortable with such a decision. I was pointing out that in the Ukraine there is at least one "mentor" of young women who "encourages" them to choose older men.

 

 

[ConnerVT]

 In Ukraine there seems to be less social pressure on women to choose socially acceptable men.

Rethink this statement, if you will.  You are discounting a couple of important points.

The RWGN (Russian Woman's Gossip Network) -- Where 'information' passed from woman to woman must have more truth than from any other source.  Even after you have researched something, and sent a RW articles, photographs, and numerous other sources that something is (or is not) true, when she arrives in the US she will still look for the green spaghetti hanging from all the trees that her friend Olga insisted was there.

Much more "social pressure" is exerted on RW, from more sources, than their AW counterparts feel.  RW tend to have closer ties to family and friends, and tend to more closely follow cultural traditions (superstitions).  There is usually more interdependence in RW families.  For AW, the tendencies are towards independence, with more concern over themselves and what they can obtain.  If there is any social pressure, it is self inflicted, meeting the pop culture media demands, not those of other people.

[Bruce]

Connor - Agree 100% about the Babushka network as Ken has termed it or the RWGN  carrying too much weight.  I can not get my MIL to visit because of the Babushka network.  She will not come here until her other daughter gets a visa to work next summer because she listens to the Babushka network.  Her other daughter already worked in the USA during a summer and returned to Russia.  Its the daughters last chance as a student to work as a camp counselor etc.  Why should one student working visa have anything to do with the other MIL visiting visa - Babushka network says so. 

After WWII there was an extreme shortage of men in many regions of Russia.  For that reason many women married men much older than them.   Many families have this history and know how happy their grandmothers were with their older husbands.  Their fathers and mothers often were products of a young mother and older father despite being close in age themselves - and have fond memories of both of their parents.   That history helps families understand how a younger woman married to "an older"  WM could indeed work.

[Turboguy]

Personnally I think in many cultures including the USA there is a segment of the female population that is attracted to older men.   I think there is also a segment that is attracted to men who beat them.   There is a segment that are attracted to ethnic differences.   There is a segment that is attracted to men who are dangerous.   Perhaps those are just all subsets for women who are wacky.  Perhaps it is caused by something else.  

I can think back to the 21 year old gal I lived with for 4 years when I was 45.  I never heard her call a guy handsome who did not have grey hair and a few wrinkles.   Actaully she wanted me to dye my hair grey bacause I did not have any grey hair.  A few more years with her and I would have had plenty.

Back to the subject at hand.   I don't think it is so much that FSU women are "attracted" to older men.   I think they are looking for security and reliability and perhaps don't look at the difference as being as repulsive as some american girls might.

[KenC]

I agree with what Turbo wrote:

I don't think it is so much that FSU women are "attracted" to older men.   I think they are looking for security and reliability and perhaps don't look at the difference as being as repulsive as some american girls might.


I think in their minds that older equates to stability.  I don't think that RW are necessarily attracted to older guys as that they are just not as opposed to it as AW.  My in laws were even very much in favor of our relationship and eventual marriage.  My MIL is only a few years older than I am.  She always thought that Lena needed to be with an older guy.  I am just thankful that Lena has never seen our age difference as a negative.

KenC

[Turboguy]

Luda and I have a bigger age difference than most anyone and Luda's comment was that she does not notice it.   It does bother her a bit that it seems to bother other people. 

[Elen]

I still stay with my opinion - have not idea what young girls are thinking about  in such marriages but males for sure think only about themslves :? as if they are going to have a life ( and mind you life with any old men's "problems") for centures

[kops2222]

My estranged RW and I had a 21 year age difference.  I did not think anything of it since I had dated many younger American women, I am very successful and outgoing, and I look much younger than I am.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, she had at least 4 affairs while we were engaged probably becoming pregnant at least once by one of the interlopers. 

All throughout the marriage, she would not let me hold her hand or show affection in public.  She would make it known that she wanted to move out even to casual strangers. 

Eventually, she refused to have sex with me at all. 

While we were married, a Russian friend even set her up on a blind date with another man.  Around the time I finally served her with annulment papers, she was having an affair with a kid even younger, which I confirmed when she received a Lovers Lane summons by a suburban NY Police Department, because she and he were having sex in my car. 

I am thinking of commissioning a study on age differences in marriage, to see where the drop off is. 

To others who comtemplate marriage to someone 20 years younger or more, I am interested in knowing how many of you have stayed married 5 years or more.

 

[Rvrwind]

Damn, I have been avoiding this thread like the plague!!!

Anybody who reads the other board knows how I feel about this topic but for those who don't here goes nothin'...

Ken you know I have met your wife & I think she is a great lady & I hope things continue to go the way they have for you & her. That being said however, let us not lead the newbies astray. You got lucky my friend, very lucky. Most marriages in your age difference group & at the age you met, don't stand a snowballs chance in hell of making it, you know it & I know it.

Women are women no matter where they are from or where they are going & given a prefference they wan't a man no more than ten years their senior. At least until they hit thirty, then they are willing to widen that gap some & even stretch it some more if the guy is a pretty decent catch.

Most women & I do mean most under the age of 25 are not ready for marriage & a lifelong commitment to any man, even one their own age. 99.9% of all divorces & crash & burns I have read about or are personally aquainted with happen with women under 25, no matter how old the guy is. From 25 to thirty you got a pretty good chance of holding it together if she has a kid already or you are under 40 & can give her one pronto. Over thirty you got a much more secure & soffisticated woman that has matured & knows what she wants out of life. Chances of her sticking around are much greater than the other younger groups.

Any guy who is over 50 & comes to Russia looking for a 20 year old, in my opinion, needs his head examined. There is a 1 in a million chance that such a relationship will work. Not only does she have to face your family & they will think of her as a girl & not a women. Your own children will likely be older than her, which makes for great fun when your daughter has to babysit your wife when you go out with the boys on a Friday night. But consider the long term.

Your 50, she's 20, now jump ahead your 70 & she is 40 in the prime of her life. You, you old fart have to down an entire bottle of viagra just to get it up & she is in her sexual prime. How long do you think she is going to put up with that? Fast forward, you are 80, she is 50 & totally ticked because you got one foot in the grave & the other on a banana peel & she is stuck raising the kids that you promised you would help with. Its a lose lose situation & not worth taking the chance that 'it just might work'.

Ken & a very few others have gotten very lucky to find that 1 in one million women that is mature enough at a young age to deal with what is coming. But believe me when I tell you, its a crap shoot & unless you can read people very well or are willing to take a risk with the rest of your life, don't fall for the agency hype that says you can get any woman you want, because you can't & thats a fact!!! You want a real woman then date over thirty, they are still very sexy & very much all woman.

My wife & I have a 17 year difference in our ages but she was over thirty when we met & still is, LOL. But I'd bet my last dollar she is more woman than most women 10 years her junior.

RVR

Canadian Cowboy

[BC]

17 year difference here.  Much more than that would really scare the bejeezers outa me.

[itstime]

My wife & I have a 17 year difference in our ages but she was over thirty when we met & still is, LOL. But I'd bet my last dollar she is more woman than most women 10 years her junior.

I agree with you. And one of the reasons the guy needs his head examined is sex. I have had sex with young women like that and they don't know what the hell they are doing. And they don't appreciate what you are doing for them. Give me an older woman who has more experience and who is more appreciative as well.

My fiancee is just over 30 and we have a 16 year difference. She has a 15yo kid who will stay in Ukraine with grandparents to complete a local education. A woman over 30 who is looking for a western man knows she has one last chance at a family. So it makes sense that she will choose a man who has experience raising kids and can demonstrate the results. It makes sense that she will choose an older man who is less likely to run after other women because he is more likely to be done with sowing wild oats.

But those really young women aren't really CHOOSING older husbands because they don't have the life experience to make real choices. They are more likely just going with the flow, and when the currents shift, they will move on.

 

 

[TigerPaws]

Canadian Cowboy,

 We have a 19 year age difference and passed the 5 year mark together and are still going strong also I know of many other couples with a similar age difference and they are doing very well.

 It is all about the choices a man makes.

[KenC]

Ken you know I have met your wife & I think she is a great lady & I hope things continue to go the way they have for you & her. That being said however, let us not lead the newbies astray. You got lucky my friend, very lucky. Most marriages in your age difference group & at the age you met, don't stand a snowballs chance in hell of making it, you know it & I know it.
Richard,

I never said that she might have been dropped on her head as a child.    But is has worked well for over 6 years now.

KenC