Mayan paradise

[Gator]

Hi DKMM,

Your story is unfinished.  I conclude that you said “adios” with no intention of meeting again.

I encouraged you to take the trip, seeing the glass as half full.  It seems that the glass was 75% empty. 

Your prior two visits with her suggested she was nervous, wired tight, had surrounded her heart with defensive walls.  She may even have some psychological issues.  Spending a holiday with her on her terms could have broken through these barriers.  Alas, it did not. 

Your posts describe a young, incredibly beautiful, somewhat intelligent and highly successful woman (for her age).  She is also honest.  Qualities to dream about.  Something is missing, however. Something very important.

She has been spoiled by the attention from RM  (e. g., wanting expensive things, VIP room).  Not a BFD as this would probably change as she matured.  She also seems argumentative, a trait of many RW (e. g.,  complaining about America yet never have been there).  As bad as these are,  there is something much worse.  Namely, she sounds boring, if not stagnant. Your words say it all, “lay around, sleep and complain.” She would never tear your heart out – just bore you to tears.  Life is too long to spend with a boring person.  In my opinion there is no greater fault.

As an example, you mention communication problems even though she speaks English and you know Russian.  In contrast, I just spent two fun-filled weeks with a RW who knows little English, yet we communicated because she is expressive, lively, animated and intelligent.  Sometimes a look, a touch and a simple phrase will speak volumes.  Anyway, we had more fun than should be possible with two people not speaking the same language.  She has fun doing everything, even a simple thing.  It is infectious - I was never bored.

Your J is not someone with whom to build a life.  You are wise to avoid the “most beautiful” next time.  There are plenty of “Category 8 Good Looking” RW with great personalities.  In summary, they will make life very interesting.   

[DKMM]

At long last I'm ready for my report.  No real reason for the delay except that I've been slammed since returning with family deaths, work and trying to recover from a slight bug i seem to have brought home with me.  I will attempt to keep it condensed.  Gator your words are wise, but there is more to this story than I first got around to I promise. 

Pre arrival:
Its 1am after Christmas, and with Sohkay's words in my mind I phone J with a slight worry she isn't coming.  She answers while in line at SVO.  OK all is fine and I go to bed.  The next day I grab my bags and go to work.  By that evening, I go to the airport and check in.  I sit there thinking "what the $*&@ am I doing??"  She didn't SMS me and should have by now.  Screw it, I get on the plane.  I land in Utah, spend 4 hours and still nothing from J.  She is spending the night in Canada and I heard nothing. . . oh well time to get on the red eye to ATL.  I land in ATL and I have nothing on my phone from J.  She is going to leave in 3 hours (I hope) and I take a nap.  Finally my phone buzzes, and its J with an SMS.  She explains that her phone did not work, so she had to switch her SIM card to a backup phone.  Great!! I was wide awake now.  Next stop Cancun.

I explain to my seat mate that I'm travelling alone because I'm meeting an RW there.  He thinks I'm the craziest guy he ever met.  Any of you guys have that kind of moment on the plane?    Anyways I land finally and speed through immigration.  But no J to be found.  We agreed to meet after immigration in the baggage claim area.  fortunately I get an SMS from her "U here?"  I found out later she was in a panic that I didn't show either.  Turns out she went through customs so it took a while to find her.

Once I passed customs there was J, sweaty and cute with her designer outfit and furcoat folded on her bag.  She doesn't smile, doesn't hug or anything.  Just an emotionless hello.  Immediately I am thrust into the role of man who handles everything.  Fortunately, I've been here before and I know some Spanish.  This works pretty well... we found our van and away we went.  It was so awkward between us.  we weren't even able to sit next to each other and it felt like she didn't care anyways.  I took some of the edge off by chatting up the others on the van, all happy americans.  She spends her time scowling at her phone rapidly texting away.  I focus on not saying anything totally moronic to try and break the ice.  So I look outside at the sun and say "see I told you it wasn't going to rain!" (she was very worried it would rain everyday for some reason).  She doesn't even look up from her phone.

OK so I was warned this would happen, but here i was 30 minutes into an 11 day ordeal so I had to just roll with it.  I settled in and just grinned like an idiot.  It seemed to work, she finally talked to me.  We get to the hotel, and we get our room.  Its peak season so we get one on the bottom floor, out of the way.  Perfect!  I let her choose her bed (her first smile!) and we unpack.  She opened her suitcase and every single item was individually wrapped in a plastic bag!  I give her all the space she wants and just take a little for myself.  She hits the shower and we hit the beach, for what is the coolest evening of our trip (about 68).

We sat out on that beach for the evening, got our first food and basically looked around like what the hell are we gonna do?!  Her English is not enough to hold a real conversation.  Everytime i say something, she says "what?" and then I have to slow it down.  I learn over the week that you have to be a walking thesaurus.  She seems inpatient with my Russian ("In English please!") so i abandon that early on.

Evening hits and I'm so damn worked up at myself for going on this trip (this is what leslie was talking about!) that I'm not hungry for dinner.  fortunately, she's pooped from the time change and craps out at 6pm.  i stayed up reading a book but fell asleep myself at 8pm.  oh and she talks in her sleep, but its russian and i couldn't understand it.

[DKMM]

We wake up at 5:30 am.  I wake up not believing what the hell I am doing.  I make it my mission to find enough things to keep me occupied that I don't care what she does... So we go in search of the sunrise.  We find it and the photos begin. 

Then we go in search of breakfast, but nothing is open.  We finally find a place near some clubs that are STILL GOING!  its 6:30am I can't believe it.  Even she can't believe it, and she is a serious disco girl.

She starts bugging me about what are we doing, she wants details and answers pronto.  This from a girl that changes her mind on what she is doing everytime I talk to her... and constantly asking me what time is it?  That never stopped.

We had a pretty ok day, with a beach run, turtle farm and exploring.  Slowly, she stops acting so awkward around me.  Apparently she figured out that I don't bite.  That evening she wants to go somewhere, but falls asleep.  she tells me to wake her up in an hour, I do and she doesn't want to move.  So another early night, and I think that's when I posted my earlier thread on here (about the showers and so forth).

[DKMM]

Next day, we fart around on the beach and do a lot of nothing.  I had a bowl game to watch so she did the beach and i went to watch the game.  She got antsy and texted me before the game was over. 

For dinner I found a Russian place downtown that I wanted to take her to.  We took a cab but could not find it.  I found out later it had closed last year... so we ended up at a brazilian place.  It was lame for me, but she found it interesting.  We had our first drink together.  she said she wanted tequila and to go to disco that night.  so i ordered a 2nd round without her knowing.  She did not want it.  I ended up drinking 3 to her 1 and then she said she was tired and wanted to sleep.  Oh great, what fun I'm having!  She tells me how much she loves to drink (an exagerration as it turns out) and sometimes get drunk but only when she feels secure.  So I guess that does not mean with me.

[DKMM]

Next day is also a chill day.  At least we are getting use out of our 5 star resort.  Somehow I stopped caring so much what was happening and it got better seemingly for both of us.  A lizard managed its way into our room, which brought out a hilarious side of her.  The maids coming in to search for it added to the fun.  I learned the word "Uzhas"   

I tried to take her to another place for dinner but it never came back after the hurricane.  We bounced from place to place looking for dinner.  I vowed to always have reservations for the rest of the nights because i could tell she was annoyed and I was blowing it big time.  at least we were finally going to the clubs tonight.  We found an awesome place for dinner and had our first good time together sharing a whole bottle of wine.  She also saw Russians, so she knew it was a swanky place.  Oh and did I mention she was dressed so well I nearly died everytime I looked at her.

We made it to the club and she was really taken aback.  Here is a girl that has done the best Moscow has to offer and she was impressed.  However, she didn't want anything to drink at all, so my buzz wore off and my desire to dance with it.  J is an excellent dancer, and all the guys quickly notice.  I start to feel my stock rise just being with her.  We do this till 4am.  I was just sitting there the last hour while she danced away shooting down guys from all over.  Still I was seeing that we were pretty incapatiable (so far) and I wished my trip could end sooner because I really felt stupid not spending my time and money going to Russia... I had trouble sleeping as I was so upset that I had to spend 7 more days with her and I wasn't having much fun.  I was learning a lot about RW ( and believe me, you really learn a lot living with one) but after 3 days I'd about had enough.

[DKMM]

Today we rent a waverunner, which does wonders to breakdown a barrier between a guy and girl.  We had our first real fun together.

So next we move hotels and all hell breaks loose.  I rented a timeshare from someone and he didn't pay up his maintanence fees.  So I'm freaked out over $800 and she's all annoyed that we have to wait 3 hours for a room.  But then she laughs about it and as things continue to get worse (they did, i'll spare the details) she got more and more cheerful.  She was giving me a bad time about "sheet" happening and I started having a good time...

That evening I took her to a nice place to eat, at the Hilton down the street then we went to the Ritz Carlton for drinks.  I mean damn, she looked so good all dressed up I just had to!  and it was great.  She got into a good mood around all the glam, and I was finally starting to make her laugh (as i explained in earlier post).  I also notice about this time my grammar changing to Russian.  Its makes it easier for her to understand.  My wallet was bruised but not broken...

Next up was new years eve.  I don't remember how the day went but I remember that night.  This is a big deal to any RW and J was no exception.  It started in the afternoon when her friends blew up her phone with new year's texts as moscow celebrated, and then again as estonia did.  Then it was our turn.  I took her to a very nice place, and $300 later we walked out of there happy.  At this point I noticed that she has dropped the crappy attitude completely and we are enjoying each other.  Her body language is different too and she actually wants pictures with me.  And in the taxi she sits close instead of on the opposite side...

[DKMM]

New years day we tried to rent a car, but forget it, wasn't going to happen.  So we took a speedboat out to a reef to snorkel.  She was very excited, but of course this isn't new as she has already done this back home (another of the countless rich guys vying for her attention).  I drive like a mad man, feeling the stress of the first few days flying out from the prop.  We reach the reef where she declares its not as nice as the Red Sea.  She drives on the way back, pretty well too.  This elicits the big smiles I was looking for.

we head back to the beach and it seems that we have more fun there than all the other times on the beach.  she actually wants to go in the water with me and such.  baby steps!  Like gator said, never a dull moment for me from this day forward.  All we do is have fun, and everything she does is fun for me.  Just the way she describes things with her broken english and energy.  We horse around, like friends, but its better than how it was before.  As I start to get to know her better I realize that she was like that at first becuase of her nervousness, not because she hated me.  I asked her later about this and she said yes people tell her that, and she wishes she wasn't like that but is defensive for some reason.  She has to spend time to get to know someone before the barriers come down.

That evening I took her to a dinner show, got prime seats (out of sheer luck) and she lapped it all up.  There was some live music at the end and we tried a little dancing.  A slow song came on and we swung to the harmony.  She actually got nervous, shy even, just from our little slow dance.  It was cute though.  Oh and that outfit she wore that night, the guys all over just could not stop staring.  Actually, that was pretty much everytime we went anywhere.  It got to the point where I just got used to it and acted like it was no big deal.  She will tromp around our room with nearly nothing on with that model body and I would just act like nothing was happening.  She seemed to like that actually, enjoy the non attention she was getting.  Very unusual, but really more my type of person.

We went to some places after but discovered that nobody goes out on new years day, even in cancun.

[DKMM]

Next day, we rent a car and go to Xcaret.  It is full of things to do.  Normally I would not enjoy something like this so much, but she was so into everything about it, it actually made it more fun for me.  There is even an underground river to swim through.  It is here that I learn J is not really an outdoorsy type person, but i'm used to that with the types i've dated in the past.

We have a great time.  I start making fun of her, and her of me.  I will dish it right back to any girl, no matter how cute she is and she was really getting fiesty.  J also got playful like play hitting me, dancing around and the like (hard to describe on here).  There was a 2 hour show at the end, which she caught me napping at the end of.  She let me lie sortof on her so I could finish my nap.

That evening we managed to get in a nice japanese style dinner.  She had her first fried ice cream and declared it the best ever.  I must make the point here, that she ate a ton the whole time.  Always asking for more bread was the biggest surprise.  Such a skinny girl, she weighs around 110 at the most eating all that food!  Oh and have any of you ever eaten chicken wings with an RW?  She cleaned it all the way down to the bone.   

We headed to another disco, and she actually wanted to drink some.  This obviously led to a much better time had by all.  The line outside the disco was huge, a top dj was playing there.  I went to the front and negotiotiated mexican style to get us in next.  so i grabbed her and we went in front of 100 people.  she was amazed, convinced i said something (pesos did all the talking).  I've never experienced a club like that, about 4000 people inside and amazing sound and lights.  I never had so much fun dancing in a club in my life (only to be topped 2 nights later), I actually wanted to keep going when she ran out of gas.

On the way out I grabbed her hand.  I forgot to mention but the few times I tried this previously, she would yank her whole arm out of the way.  Even when trying to help her negotiate some rough terrain.  But this time she held on, although once outside it was free again.  baby steps...

[Gator]

DKMN,

Aha!  There is much more to your story.  I apologize for interrupting you and jumping to conclusions in my earlier post.

Great report! I really mean that.  Captures the emotion of meeting a RW in the western hemisphere. 

Finding each other at the airport is always anxious, and phones do not always function.  I make a point to arrive several hours before to make sure I can meet her as she exits customs.

RW are weary from flying and not ready to party upon arrival.  She is the nervous type so I am sure she felt more anxiety than you.  Probably slept very little.  And who knows what was happening inside her body.  Some recover quicker than others. 

Her comment about better snorkeling in the Red Sea is correct.  However, how she expressed it reveals much.  Did she say it in a:  1) condescending tone, or 2) rude informative manner, or 3) diplomatic "Cancun is great but it is even better in the Red Sea"?   Most RW are not diplomatic and express such facts in style No. 2.   

My impressions from photos – you and J make an ideal couple in photos (you are not out of your league as happens sometimes). 

J - Great body!  Good looking woman.  She does not have that spoiled “new Russian” look.  In contrast, she seems wholesome.  I easily understand your attraction.  You are a better man than me Gungha Din if you managed to keep your hormones in check.

I said J was "boring" in my earlier post.  Hopefully I am wrong and in fact she is just young, inexperienced and reserved.  The latter is acceptable if she does warm to you (and at this stage of the trip she is warming).  While this trip started as a "just friends" trip and you had some reservations that indeed happened, the ending is still unpredictable - keep it coming please.

[DKMM]

I deleted some photos as I'm just not comfortable putting them out there.  I'd be happy to PM anybody (as I have Gator) some if they are truly interested.

The next day we don't do much.  That's ok because we were out so late.  I did give her a massage on the beach.  She did not complain, but rather wanted more, much more than I could give out.  I asked her today about the rumor that bosses there expect their female employees to sleep with them.  She said she's never experienced it or heard of it.  She did tell me that of the 8 girls in her department, 6 are divorced (all under 35).

She wanted to go to the bullfight, so off we went.  She paid for me too, almost $100 total.  It was her idea though... and she said its because I paid for so many other things when we agreed to split most costs.  Once the actual bullfight started, she did not like it anymore.  I say if you go to a bullfight, expect to see a bullfight!  It was bloodsport pure and simple.  To her credit, any AW I've ever dated would have never come close to watching that.

Then to more of her credit, she wants to go to Walmart (again) because we can save some money by doing the souvenir shopping there.  That is my kind of girl.  We hoofed along the streets for about a mile or so to get there.  Along the way she said it looks like the Ukraine.  It was pretty bad but not too bad in that area.

After getting back, we discuss plans for the evening.  the usual dinner and something else were in mind.  I really got used to our routine here, where we kind of maneuver around each other in the room getting ready.  Body language takes over after you spend a week alone with someone, even if she is completely new.  I mentioned hitting up a local dancing spot.  She said yes she wants to dance with natives.  She specializes in Latin dances and wants to have local guys lead her on some dances.  That didn't really sound like much fun for me, and i was getting tired anyways.  I understand she meant dance with me as well but it just wasn't what I had in mind.  By the time we had dinner we were both pooped anyways.  I keep noticing that she likes to say she will do something but never do it.  I don't even know what she will do in her life living like this.

She says she might go to a resort for this summer and live in a house with girls.  Her friend had some connections with this.  She would be employed as one of those dancer girls you see at some clubs.  She said she just loves dancing more than anything and wants to do something like this before she settles down with a family.  But then she says she wants to move to London and concentrate on getting a masters.  Next, she says she doesn't want to quit her career so early on, but hates living in Moscow so wants to get out. . . so who knows, but it shows a definite lack of maturity and I realize that maybe someone so young isn't a great idea.

Gator, yes it was #2.

[jinx13]

 DKMM,

 Thanks for the trip report, I can't even tell you how much this reminded me of my own experience with the same type girl. The difference is that you made it past that 'awkward' phase with her. She lightened up, and you guys actually began to have some fun, but I think some of that has to do with the amount of money you were spending, and that she was getting her 'VIP' treatment, she was very impressed when you got in the club ahead of everyone else I am sure.

 I was in the exact type of situation as you, but I admit I didn't handle it as well as you did, I became very frustrated with her, and tired of her bull, we had an argue ment on the third night, went to bed mad, in the morning I tried to calm things down, but you know this type of girl, she wasn't having it, she got on a bus back home (we were in Moscow for first 3 days of trip) and that was that. We were supposed to spend a week in Egypt, but it was wasted, we both went home in disdain. I don't put all the blame on her, we were both at fault, but dealing with that type of personality was very difficult for me. I learned from that experience, and that's why I advised you to try and ignore her behavior and just try and have fun. Sounds like you did just that and you were able to crack her hard exterior and enjoy yourselves.

 I look forward to reading the rest of your report, I'm curious as to how things ended up with you guys. I'm thinking she still isn't your type, but she is fun to be with and nice to look at, maybe you will end up just being friends. In any case the experience you got with a Russian woman is invaluable, and now you will have that education to back you up when you make the trip over to the FSU again.  Keep posting, it's really interesting for me to read, and I think we can all learn something from your trip. - David

[DKMM]

Thanks Jinx, and I agree with all you said.

Thursday,
Wow was it really only a week ago?  We woke up with a pretty ambitious schedule ahead of us.  1st of all, I insisted on renting the worst car I could find.  She found it amusing until I showed up with it (she was down on the beach).  It was a clunker and eventually she got over it and found the humor in it.  The best part was, this car was really fast.  I had to put a 10% deposit on it, which was 2000 pesos.  She ran the math and figured out the value of our POS.  The first of many laughs...

We took off for Chichen Itza which is like 150 miles away in the jungle.  It was a toll road so we were able fly in our fast, loud and shaking POS (she named it that).  At a rest stop I let her drive, which was the 1st time in years she tried a stick.  I took a hilarious video of her trying to figure it out... Anyways she turned it over to me later because she was afraid of driving the back roads. 

We got to the park and it was packed.  People everywhere from everywhere, even Russia.  It wasn't too fun for me because I had been there before but she was enjoying it.  We started taking a lot of pictures, goofing around.  She bought a ceremonial knife and we took pictures of her pretending to stab me and such.  Later, she decides to buy things from vendors so I showed her how to haggle (which she says really funny, just like she says "turtle").  Anyhow, once she got the hang of it, she was pretty good which was amazing considering how shy she is.  One strange moment was when we walked in some trees, she put a plastic bag on her head worried about bugs falling in her hair.

On the drive back we stopped by a little town which was beautiful and had lunch in an old hacienda.  It had a gorgeous courtyard in a romantic setting.  She didn't like it though because there could be bugs in the grass. She seriously has issues with bugs like nobody I've ever known.  I attached a photo of the place.

So after the town we got a little lost.  It was dark and I couldn't find the toll road.  So we took a back road that was signed for Cancun but took about 4 hours through all sorts of little dumpy towns.  It was horrible, but she seemed to think it was fun.  We got lost in each other's stories and I felt so perfect finally on this trip.  I tried explaining "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes (because it happened often there) and knock knock jokes.  That did not compute.  She tried to explain similar types of sayings in Russian that I also did not comprehend.  Guys, there are solid differences between the humor systems in our cultures.  She explained all the swear words in Russian and so many other things about her culture.  It was like we were best friends talking at summer camp...

Then I was speeding along and hit a bad speed bump.  I'm sure we got airborne and our poor POS was screeching in protest.  J thought it was the funniest damn thing she ever saw.  Then she said "tonight I'm going to have to get drunk after this drive"... well ok now that we are so comfy with each other why not try it?  She told me that she used to get drunk with friends more than occasionally when she was younger but its rare these days.  I later figured out she really hasn't been too drunk very much at all.  She also has never puked from too much alcohol...

Finally we get back and get ready for a night at a seafood place on the water.  It was romantic but more on the fun side, which was perfect in my mind.  I was seeing the end of the trip coming so decided to try and have more fun with this fantastic girl before sending her off.  A spanish coffee and 3 shots each of tequila later and we are really feeling good and ready for the club...

[DKMM]

What a place, this Coco Bongo.  Her and I have never experienced anything like it before.  Its like a regular disco except its huge, has a stage and lots of entertainment.  Crazy stuff was flying through the air, the music was great and everybody seemed to be having a great time.  Including us... I felt like I was back in college (which was only a few years ago) and got another shot or two of tequila.  We drank those and proceeded to party it up.  I showed her how American's dance (with my own twists) and she kept up nicely.  We went like that for 3 hours till my buzz started wearing off so i got another drink for us.  we drank half of them then she spilled them all over someone else and barely noticed.  So i cut it off and danced for another hour till 4 am.  The place was still packed... and we finally left.  She is a goofy friendly drunk and told me she hasn't been like that in a while.  by the time we got home I was sobering up and she was too, although still not what I would consider leveled out.  We decide that the beach would be a good place to head to, the sunrise was only 2 hours away...

We cuddled up on a beach chair, then a rain shower and wind hit.  So we got close and talked about who knows what.  All I know is she was waiting for it, and after I removed all doubt from my mind what she wanted, I went for the kiss.  It was amazing for so many reasons.  1st, I knew that I came so far from my last trip and even last week when she wouldn't even let me have a picture next to her.  Then it was special because she was a real RW, like the magic of two worlds colliding.  Yeah yeah I'm a sappy romantic.  I don't care, its what I live for.  This went on till sunrise with some funny moments.  I don't get into intimate details but I hit a double... and I was only her 3rd kiss (how did Gator know??).  She told me that she thought of us as more than friends now.  And she hid her head telling me she's very shy and will hide her face tomorrow.  I told her no big deal, we can just be friends tomorrow if that's what she wants.  But she said how can we be... etc.  And that she won't tell her friends about it because she promised them we were just friends.

OK well whatever I'm just enjoying the moment and if its all I got, I'm happy at least for that time.  We fell asleep together in the room... a few hours later we got up.  And she acted like she was nervous about what happened and distant from me... and i said fine we can just forget it and be friends which she liked and warmed up again.

[DKMM]

Still, things were different and we had zero inhibitions around each other.  I was in a good mood for the last day.  I told her for being such a good sport about the POS car I was going to rent a mercedes convertible and drive to playa carmen for some shopping she wanted to do.  She got very excited and got all dressed up.  We went to the place, no mercedes but we can rent the porsche on the lawn.  My wallet goes "ouch!" and J goes "yay!". 

Fun this was, and she lapped it up like any good RW would I suppose?  We raced around some remote streches of the island, stopped for pictures (she modeled the car well, better than the work I've seen her do) then I let her drive.  That was the best part, because she really tore up and down those roads.  I could feel the energy of her spirit coming through that car.  I was just hoping she would be careful, because my deposit was 60,000 pesos!

We went to playa and it started raining.  I stopped to put the top up but the windows would not go all the way.  Something in Spanish was on the dash but I couldn't tell... hilarity ensued but eventually I got it working again after getting the doors a bit wet.  She wanted me to stop and ask someone... I can't stand that she always wanted me to ask someone when we couldn't find something or had a little problem.  I know people do that in Russia but my spanish was barely good enough to ask and I never would understand the answer.  Fortunately I always solved our problems eventually.

Anyways we get to playa, walk around holding hands and also on her hip ( I learned by watching a Russian guy do it the day before).  All seems well, she wants to hurry though so we can maximize our 4 hour rental.  I let her drive the freeway back.  We are going down the left lane, she gets up to nearly a 100 mph (not a good idea!) but no cops.  I have to piss and tell her, she suggests I use the bushes.  No way, what about bugs I say and she understands (Freud would be proud).  We pass a gas station on the left and I tell her to make the next turn around.  Well up ahead a car made its own turn around in the dirt median and she stopped to consider it.  We are in the left lane, I see a bus behind us flashing its lights and seconds remaining.  I yell "get off the road!" which she didn't understand, so I said "davai! get us of the $#()$# road a bus is coming!"  She drives into the dirt, flies across the median and into the oncoming traffic.  Fortunately, she used the accelerator like it was meant to and we merged very quickly to the music of a Autobahn tuned engine.  Needless to say, that was the end of J driving the Porsche.  The best part was she laughed about it saying "it is a woman's logic to panic" which I thought was pretty cool.  AW would freak out under that pressure and get mad at me for yelling at her.  I still had to go badly and the stupid bathroom took one peso coins which we did not have.  Wasting no time, I used the wall behind the building.  This mexican guy watched the whole thing: her pulling up in the exotic sports car, I the gringo getting out, too cheap to pay, peeing on the building and making J get over so I could drive.

[DKMM]

Unfortunately, after all that we were exhausted.  I had a nice dinner lined up at the most expensive romantic place she's ever been to and I could barely stay awake.  Still I made the most of it (that's the motto of my trip afterall).

I asked her what the best part of her trip was.  She said not feeling pressure.  Huh?  She meant to have sex.  She went on to explain that in Moscow, guys will be friends for maybe one or two days then want more from her.  She hates pressure and does not want to hook up with any guys, just be friends.  It must be hard to be a 10 and try to be friends only with guys I admit.  Then I realize, that's what I was.  She went with me knowing I was not trying to bed her.  I'm thinking the previous night was an abberation.  She thanked me for everything saying it was the best trip she ever had, and maybe we can go on another sometime.  We did a picture together and she finally put her arm around me too and held on.

I told her she needs to come visit me sometime (she can get the visa).  She said she would not ever want to live in America though because the people act stupid.  Then she said she meant she doesn't want to live in a non russian speaking country... which I know isn't true.  Then she said she would only live in Los Angeles if she did come to America, which is the craziest thing I've heard yet from someone.  No offence to anybody from LA... I know she would love where I live but that's getting beyond this TR.  This whole thing started getting wierd and I didn't want to put a damper on our trip by trying to worry about the future.  So we left it at that and went back to the room.

At the end, I tried to give her a kiss but she gave me the cheek which told me all I needed to know.  We stayed up a little later and I asked her more about why she was so distant at first.  She tried to explain ( I think I alluded to this in an earlier post) that she has always been that way with new people because she gets nervous and shy so easily and she wishes she could change being that way.  OK so she has some issues, that's obvious.  But they aren't serious.

I did crawl into her bed at 5am to spend the last few hours together, which she did not complain about but she flops around so much I pretty much stayed on the other side.

The next morning was sad and slow as we got along to the airport.  After hours and huge lines I got us both checked in and through to my gate in time for me to board.  She gave me a cheek to kiss when I said goodbye, which is more than I got the last time...

[jinx13]

DKMM,
 
 Man that last part is hilarious, I give you props for letting her drive, you've got cahones dude.

 I give her credit, she seemed to have let her guard down quite a bit, and became an easy going girl, sounds like she was really making the best of things, laughing and having a good time. I think you gave her some funny stories to tell back home.  

 Well it only took you a week to put the moves on her! Actually, I think yur method was exactly right for her, she needed to get to know you, and relax first. For a young guy, you did a good job on this trip I think, only mistake I can see is that you spent way too much, but if you've got it, and you don't mind, than why not?

 Ok, waiting for the wrap up, keep the posts coming.

[jinx13]

 Ahhh, I was writing when you posted that last part.  Well, I'm not too surprised by the ending, but all in all I would say you had fun, but didn't have a romantic connection, but you learned a lot right?

 Thanks for the excellent T/R, I've never read one from Mexico, and definitely never heard of a girl paying her own way, for tickets anyway, that's very unusual. Hopefully you guys will stay friends but I wouldn't waste anymore time or money on trips with her, she doesn't sound serious, she's probably just out to have fun and travel.  Anyway, thanks again for sharing. - Dave

[DKMM]

Postlogue,

Here is the end of my 3rd TR in 4 months.  Not a bad start, you newbies reading this?  I learned more on this trip than in all my other experiences combined.  Not just J and RW, but about love, life in general, and myself.  It was worth every penny.

J was diligant about sending me SMS's on every step of her journey home.  She has sent one a day since returning and we talked everyday this week.  Much better than my last two TR's!  She is still very thankful, loves the pictures and all the rest.  And already the sharing of troubles resumed.  Its a good start to a friendship, which is what the logical part of me says is all I should ever want from her.  Still, I miss being around her.

I don't want to do this again though, I would have far less to gain a 2nd time.  And no more building memories in exotic locations without it being with the woman I'll spend the rest of my life with.  There needs to be more potential before I trip again with a WOVO, but I still advocate it for now.

I learned a lot and here are my notes:

How to treat RW.  They want you to open doors, order their meals, move their chairs and escort them to the bathroom at dinner.  Even when you go to their hometown have an agenda of things you can do with them, because I bet you will wish you thought of something beforehand...

How to read RW.  This one is tough to describe, but it takes real patience to understand a woman's moods... and a RW moods are even more difficult sometimes.  There are unique signs to watch out for, but so subtle I can't really describe in words.

That I want to marry a RW.  I feel qualified to say they are the best on earth.

Some words and sayings in Russian.  Also how to work on my accent.  Another aspect is saying things in Russian accented simple English goes very far.  Or using 80% english in a sentance.  Its very hard to get accustomed to speaking slowly and clearly all the time... i can imagine the married guys saying yup that's the biggest part.  Study your thesaurus!

Bullfights are not very fun!

Challenges are fun and worthwhile, but 11 days is a longggg time.

What I want in a RW.  Face and eyes are 10x more important than body.  Also, her voice is so important to me.  J's was fun to listen to, but so have many others I've met there (and some were hard to listen to).  Attitude is paramount, it defines the rest of her personality in my opinion.  

What to look for in a RW.  I know these sound obvious but its important.  1st of all, that she is open to moving to America(!)  Another big one is if she is at a point in her life where she might want to get married.  Also, family views, spiritual and life goals.  If she can cook!  J does not know how, but to her credit she stated a willingness to learn.  One from a wealthy (relatively) family is not a great idea either.  She will be even less likely to successfully emigrate and tend to be more materialistic.

So with that I will try to ponder it for a while longer and 99% sure move on.  I'm focusing on work right now but I plan to get out to Russia in late April, very likely Tver depending on how an email campaign works out.  J wants me to visit of course when I do make it out, her being in Moscow makes that very convenient.  I will at least have a good friend in the right place.   If anything groundbreaking occurs, I will of course share it.

All comments are very welcome.  Thanks jinx, I do feel the pain of spending a bit more than I wanted to.  I probably shelled out 3k in expenses there, and she spent about 1k.

[BillyB]

What to look for in a RW.  I know these sound obvious but its important.  1st of all, that she is open to moving to America(!)  Another big one is if she is at a point in her life where she might want to get married.  Also, family views, spiritual and life goals.  If she can cook!

DKMM,

One of the first questions in my opening letter to ladies is "What do you think America and it's people". If I don't like the answer, I don't write back. Later on I will ask what they think of their parents and the role of a man and woman in marriage, religion, life goals etc.... If I don't like the answer, they will never get a visit from me. Good luck in your next writing campaign and finding what you're looking for.

[vwrw]

I agree with Jinx. It seems to me J does not know what she wants from life. She simply goes along life’s stream and sees where it brings her to. No ambitions, no goals, only impulses.   
She is like an exotic plant in cup needs a lot of care, attention, and nursing but pleases you by flowering one times in 5 years.   

From DKMM:
How to treat RW.  They want you to open doors, order their meals, move their chairs and escort them to the bathroom at dinner.  Even when you go to their hometown have an agenda of things you can do with them, because I bet you will wish you thought of something beforehand...

I agree about doors and chairs. Another things it is rather how to treat J

From DKMM:
That I want to marry a RW.  I feel qualified to say they are the best on earth.

I think none of us remembers the Trojan’s Elena by now if there were not the war and I wonder could so many people consider RW special if there were not foreign men who do a lot of things to conquer RW’s hearts.

[Gator]

DKMN,

Great report!  Few men bring a RW to the western hemisphere in the dating stage.

The more you described, the more it became apparent that she is not boring.  She has a wild side - it just takes a fast Porsche or a few tequila shots to bring it out.  Her comment about "women's logic to panic" is priceless and shows she quickly recovers.  She has a controlled yet spirited demeanor.

I have seen your other photos.  The two of you look happy together.  And the two of you did share some good moments after she warmed to you.  That says something.  

Two important questions:   If J were living in your hometown, would you want to date her, only her and no one else?  And if in an exclusive relationship, would you be willing to take the time to really get to know each other?

She is young, and an American woman her age with her opportunities would not be thinking about marriage.  Just because she is Russian does not mean she is any different.  

In my opinion marriage at a young age is about building a life together, having children, and creating a family.  Is she ready for children in the next few years?  You are not as young, yet still young.  Are you looking to have children soon.  If not, I suggest that you take your time.   You have learned much about RW and you seem to be able to handle them, even the challenging ones (which I consider the best ones), the ones who have to love you truly before they will leave their Russia.

Yes, I agree that you should meet some RW who are ready for marriage and children with the right man, and who view America favorably even though they know little about us.  However, I think you should continue your discussions with J.  Tell her that your goal is marriage, and while you do have time for the right woman, you are unsure if she would be ready  for marriage in the reasonable future.  She will quickly understand that you will be meeting other RW.   If she likes you and wants to keep the door open, she will wish to visit you in your home and learn more about America. Perhaps America is better than her current, uninformed impression.

[2tallbill]

I enjoyed reading your report, even though I at times I see how difficult it was at times for you.
I don't give advice to grown men unless they ask for it and even then they need to make these
types of decisions themselves. Good luck with your efforts,
Bill

[Kuna]

DKMM,

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed reading your trip report.  You've done all of us a great service by being honest and so detailed about your interactions with her. Your $3k in expenses might seem expensive but I think MY learning expeience was worth every cent of it.  (Ummm...  I feel like I should chuck in a couple of bucks to share the burden.   )

I actually like the sound of J and I would be happy to be a "friend" with someone like that if she were in my hometown, or me in hers.  She is definitely a beauty... I've seen your photos and saw the interaction and body language you shared.  As I was reading your trip report I was also confident there would be some intimacy because even though she battles with shyness (and confusion), deep down she'll be like every other girl.

Maybe being a "friend" is a safe way for her to maintain distance and not end up like the other girls in her office (who are divorced).  I agree with Gator... I would stay in touch with her and not push, but make her aware you're serious about finding THE RIGHT girl to spend the rest of your life with.  She'll understand you're genuine, going to see others and you never know when her female competitive nature will emerge.

Of course it would be highly risky (and fool hardy) to pin your hopes on J, but you guys have shared something neither of you will ever forget.

I'm envious of you, and I have empathy for you.  Most of all, I wish you all the best because I know you're a good bloke and I'd like to bump into you one day in a forgeign location to share a beer and some laughs.  You never know what's in the future, maybe I'll be having a beer with Mr. D & J KMM.   Maybe it'll be Mr. D & [X] KMM.  Either way...  I'm sure you'll find a spectacular girl and acieve your goals.

Seriously impressed with the trip report!

Kuna

[IAmZon]

It was more than a TR.  It was great!  It gave so much more insight and entertainment than a journal.  THANKS  A MILLION.

First, she is a 10, and a little bitchy (like all 10s tend to be).  But you did not stray out of your league DKMM.  You make a good looking couple, and when one considers the effort and care YOU spent on getting to know J, one would conclude that it is you that  were giving up some quality points, not J.

Second, kudos on sticking through the tough days to crack the shrew.  If she did not like you (alot for J), she would not have gone on this trip with you.  I am very happy for you that you received validation of this.

Third, encourage J to take the Summer job you mentioned up thread with 6 (I believe) girl friends.  And, for God's sake, let's go visit them ALL in July.  What do you think?

Again, I join with the other guys in thanking you for sharing your experiences.

[jb]

You make a good looking couple,

Something must be wrong with my computer, I missed the photo of them together (what page was that on?)  And the one I saw of J was taken at such a distance I could only make out a female form, not a face.  Damnit~! Need to go buy a better 'puter.