How to juggle the WMVM (Write many visit Many)

[KenC]

Darth,
Maybe you didn't bite hard enough?  Show me where anyone said something like this please.

I also bite my tongue at some posters here who misunderstand what class and culture are.  A truly classy lady does not look down on other women or consider herself "better" than others.

KenC

[I/O]

Ok Bat time...!!!  Once and for all period..!!!  Can you lot get it through your f##cking heads, that is the bigger one of the two, and includes everyone, now I will repeat that very slowely...e..v..e..r..y..o..n...e... now in case you missed it or didn't understand, I think you guys use the Latin alphabet also, so that is everyone who has commented on my postings in which I was quizzing who searched here there or wheref##ckingever, I dont give a "Rats Arse" where the girl lives or originated from.

Further I dont give a smaller "Rats Arse" who the hell she is connected with, related to, getting it on with, smoking dope with or whatever the f#ck she chooses to do,  I, that is, me, like if you don't get it, the person within the skin that surrounds my body, will make my own assessment of her class, sophistication, suitability, adaptability f##kability and whatever else based on what I find and it will have nothing, that is zero, a single full digit less than the number 1 to do with geography as a class measure. 

Someone went off half f##king cocked yesterday because they made an assumption which was totally, like that is completely or for the number crunchers 100% WRONG....!!  That was bad enough, but my response other than trying to clear the deck on the matter, was not much better and now, it is infecting just about every thread across the forum.   

You are now bickering amoungst yourselves over something I NEVER even said.

Let it go guys....!!!!!  All of you.....!!!!  refer first line for definition of all.   :crackthewhip:

Now some advice to all and yes some of my postings have been far too long...!!  Keep the bulls!t to a minimum, because any newbie to this caper would take one look in here and say, "Holy sh!t", if this is the effect that Russian women have on these guys, I'm outta this sh!t period...!!!  :brightidea: :brightidea:


Think about it guys before it pervades the entire forum.!!!!!

I/O 

[Photo Guy]

Calm down I/O. ..It's okay. ...You're going to pull through, and at the
other end there is a land of succinct posts and happy marriages.
I do like all of the exclamation points - very Russian!!
See you down at O'Malley's for a beer...
 

[jinx13]

  Oiy! reeeeelax man....this is just par for the course at RWD, was hoping it would change in the New Year, but hey, whatta ya gonna do?  ???

 You have handled it all pretty well up until this point, what happened, too much caffeine? Maybe this will cheer you up... Auzzie Auzzie Auzzie, Oiy Oiy Oiy!!! 

[I/O]

Caffeine levels just nicely in the green thanks for the concern and you might be surprised that I am actually quite relaxed about all this.

Just thought it was time that notion stopped wasting good "Cyber Space".


I/O  who BTW doesn't consider the Oiy Oiy Oiy thing one of Au's prouder exports.

[Voyageur]

Photoguy said "and at the other end there is a land of succinct posts and happy marriages." 

I could not agree more. 

[I/O]

at the other end there is a land of succinct posts and happy marriages

The second part is believable. The first.......hmmmmmmmm ??? ???

My point was more about that Moscow, Kiev and other big city girls are more difficult to find now... and why ? Because of the economic reasons... in these city, the life become more confortable... a RW from Moscow will marry you only if you are the perfect men, not because of your wallet...men need to realize that the situation in Russia become better... a knight in shining armor don't lead to positive result, you need a real prince inside the armor and not a jerk or looser...

This, I suspect was the point JB was trying to make. It is true, however, understanding all of the influencing factors (Which I don't profess to do) is another matter.  It is not simply the economic situation a woman finds herself in now days in some parts of the FSU which leaves her less inclind to seek a foreign partner.  Likewise, it is not simply the improved economic situation of many amoung her selection pool within her own country, but it is the improved behaviours of some of those within her selection pool within her own country as a result of better economic circumstances.  Please don't think I subscibe to the theory that all Russian men are vodka drinking layabouts because it is a nonsense.

The other matter which should be taken into account is the generational changes. Post WWII Russia saw a shortage of available men, however as cycles have gone almost 2 generations since then, the numbers are starting to level out a little more.  I have seen a variety of census statistics on Russia and they are all flawed with nationalistic suger coating, so it is difficult to know the real numbers, but I suspect the quality (Not necessarily well-to-do) Russian woman's motive for seeking a foreign partner is more to do with finding the best person for her and much less to do with economics or available men in her country. Much the same as men from western countries casting the net wider than their home country.

In my experience, the quality FSU women is reasonably well if not very well educated and is quite capable of articulating her thoughts on a range of subjects very clearly in writing, thus I remain very much a write many, visit one man.  Certainly whilst this requires some time and patience and is probably not the preferred method of many, it has allowed me to get past that, "Is there some instant chemistry thing", because although, of course that is necessary, there is much more to it.

Having watched the arguements being set forth here in favour of the write many, vist many idea and perhaps I derailed the discussion in the first instance by opposing the idea period, I havn't yet seen a convincing method put forward that ensures not offending some and juggling the process with any degree of certainty, therefore I remain unrepentant or maybe just plain "Pig Headed".

Given all of that, if it is simply a dating / cruise around and see what is available type of a trip then sure there is a very simply way of juggling.  "Tell them nothing and take them nowhere" type approach.  In those circumstances, if I was communicating with a woman/women and planning a trip, it would be a case of "I am coming to your country in xyz time and I will give you call when I am there and maybe we will meet" type of approach in the pre-visit ethos, but the big problem I have with this, is not least of all because of visa protocols, it tends to restrict the visitor to a Hotel to Restaraunt to tourist attraction to hotel type trip which doesn't appeal to me one bit.  I have spent too much time living out of suitcases and fancy hotel rooms over the years and it almost sh!ts me to tears.

I/O

[KenC]

I/O,
I think our difference of opinion here is just a difference in timing.  When do you narrow the field to just one woman?  Because we all have to get down to just one woman eventually.  You are condoning making that decision prior to a face to face and I think it is a financial risk that is not necessarily taken.  There are no guarantees that you will spend your dollars and vacation time to meet the right girl using any method, but it would appear that you would have better odds if you met more than one.

There are certain stages to any developing relationship.  Introduction and getting to know the basics about each other are the first and can quite easily be handled via phone or email.  But the next stage of developing a chemistry is much more difficult if not impossible to obtain without face to face time.  Most guys don't know much more about the woman or women in this case than what is on her profile.  That isn't enough to narrow the field to one.

Women who list themselves with an agency are less likely to put up a fuss about the man meeting others because they know the drill.  They know that you are there for an introduction first and then if it "clicks" maybe more. 
KenC

[Turboguy]

I have to agree with KenC.  I think meeting one is a high risk proposition.   I have made more first trips than most guys and I sure can't say it is impossible but quite often meeting one you either find there is no chemistry at all, or that there were qualities that did not come out in her letters that are a serious problem with continuing the relationship.   Among the qualities that I have found that were not evident in the letters were a few who were total alcoholics, a few that were serial shoppers and looking for $ 400.00 boots an hour after the first meeting, some with severe anger management problems. 

If you are visiting one girl and you get there an find you have about the same chemistry jb and PG would have together and you are there for a while it makes a really long trip.  Particularly if the gal has arranged to take off work while you are there you feel guilty not playing it out and uncomfortable if you do.

I had never tried power dating until I took Jack's tour and I always pictured it as not being a good way to go because you could not get a real feel for people in an hour or two.  After doing it I have changed my own opinion on it and believe it is a great way to go.

I was always more comfortable with what I will call WMVS   That is write many, visit some.  I liked spending a few days with someone then moving on to the next one.  Sometimes that was changing cities and sometimes not.  Often I liked it better when I was changing cities, it saved hurting someones feelings or feeling uncomfortable about telling her you were meeting someone else.   I thought that gave me time to really get a good feel for someone and if there was no chemistry I was not sitting forever wishing I were somewhere else.

[groovlstk]

The exact reason it did go tits up was because I did have the backup plan as some have outlined. 

I was reasonably hopeful with the main contact so to say and had a couple of other remote contacts.  When I realised there was not anything long term with the first, after we had spent several days together and were having a great time, I mean great time together, but we both knew and agreed the future was limited, I decided to cut that short and pursue other options (emphasis added) which were ultimately a waste of time. That was where things went wrong, because eventually I more or less ran out of ideas and would have been far better enjoying the good company of the first lady until the end of the trip.

IO, I'm sorry but I don't understand your reasoning, here. You claim that your trip failed because: "The exact reason it did go tits up was because I did have the backup plan."

Wrong. You fail to make a very important distinction. You chose to go with your backup plan and bail on the first woman because you thought you might find greener pastures with plan B. You simply made a choice, and in retrospect a bad one, but to blame your decision on the fact that you had a backup plan is silly. Having options is, to the thinking man, always favorable. Making bad choices with the available options is of course all too human, but I'd choose options over some self-imposed limitation.

[I/O]

Ken C. Excellent copy and paste...!!! I did actually read that when you originally wrote it and if you read carefully, I said exactly the same thing regarding ladies who are using agents in their search.  (Read up thread)

Timing is also the correct definition of the "breakover Point" between plural and singular communications, be it eletronic or face to face.  This is very much personal choice.  I would hazzard a guess that the "Specifically travel to meet a Woman" on a write one, visit one program may well be high risk, perhaps too high of a risk if it was one's first trip in.  No I havn't changed my view here, look back and I suggested that it is not such a bad idea for people to have a cruise around/tourist trip before even thinking about meeting someone. (I'm still just a pig headed bastard)

As I understand your situation, you met your now wife on your first visit.  In that situation, if you are going with the serious idea of meeting a lifetime partner and you have spent time communicating with one person, you have fairly much made up your mind that the trip is to confirm your thoughts/hopes, but of course, how could you know she is all that she seems if you don't talk with a few other people/women to gauge her authenticity?  From my experience, having invested a good amount of time already with you, she is a very special person to tolerate you dating other women after her whilst making up your mind.  But I suspect you probably made your feelings very clear to her and she was smart enough to know she "Had you hook, line and sinker" anyway.  I would also guess that you didn't waste much time getting right back to her?

T/G.  I understand what you are all saying about written communications, but honestly, if you can't get some idea through letters that she has anger management problems or is a "Spend your loot in the first five seconds" type, c'mon...get real, what have you asked in your letters?  How is the weather? 

Now my turn to copy and paste.

Sure there is a very simply way of juggling.  "Tell them nothing and take them nowhere" type approach.  In those circumstances, if I was communicating with a woman/women and planning a trip, it would be a case of "I am coming to your country in xyz time and I will give you call when I am there and maybe we will meet" type of approach in the pre-visit ethos.

Ken threw up a fair enough idea up thread with his suggestion to basically make a holiday/vacation type trip with early part devoted to meeting a few through an agent, leaving the rest as "Flexi-time" with largely sightseeing plans and if you happen to get Ms Iwanttofallinlovewithyou/me first up, well then that is a bonus because you now have a plan to take her some nice places and great company in which to do it. You also just might get to see a sight or two you didn't plan to.

groovlstk Certainly a dumb decision was made, but you missed my point completely. Being a dumb Aussie, I secumbed to the temptation which would not have been available if I did not have the back up plan in place.  Thus I made a clear decision never to allow myself that temptation again. I did actually at the time flirt with the idea of visiting an agent, but I just couldn't cop that.

I/O

[Darth Vader]

I/O wrote... "Having watched the arguments being set forth here in favour of the write many, visit many idea and perhaps I derailed the discussion in the first instance by opposing the idea period, I haven't yet seen a convincing method put forward that ensures not offending some and juggling the process with any degree of certainty, therefore I remain unrepentant or maybe just plain "Pig Headed"

The argument is quite simple, I/O.  It's almost certain that when your write many girls and then select one to visit, that you will NOT like the girl in real life that you liked a lot via writing.  I know~ been there and done that.

My advice to men seeking an international relationship is to write many and visit many.  Rank order your visits.  If the first girl is a big hit, cancel the rest of your visits and spend all your time with her.  This approach ensures the best of both worlds~if your top choice is indeed the girl you thought you would be, then you can visit only one.  But if she is not what you expected (very likely), then you can move on to the next girl.

BTW~ my old gf from Moscow remains a good email friend.  She tells me that girls usually have the same situation.  They keep having visits from men until they find the right one.  It's likely that after the man leaves, another man will be knocking on her door shortly.

Guys, be smart and write many and visit many.  See advice above as to what to do when the girl "rings your bell."

[KenC]

Ken C. Excellent copy and paste...!!! I did actually read that when you originally wrote it and if you read carefully, I said exactly the same thing regarding ladies who are using agents in their search.  (Read up thread)

Timing is also the correct definition of the "breakover Point" between plural and singular communications, be it eletronic or face to face.  This is very much personal choice.  I would hazzard a guess that the "Specifically travel to meet a Woman" on a write one, visit one program may well be high risk, perhaps too high of a risk if it was one's first trip in.  No I havn't changed my view here, look back and I suggested that it is not such a bad idea for people to have a cruise around/tourist trip before even thinking about meeting someone. (I'm still just a pig headed bastard)

As I understand your situation, you met your now wife on your first visit.  In that situation, if you are going with the serious idea of meeting a lifetime partner and you have spent time communicating with one person, you have fairly much made up your mind that the trip is to confirm your thoughts/hopes, but of course, how could you know she is all that she seems if you don't talk with a few other people/women to gauge her authenticity?  From my experience, having invested a good amount of time already with you, she is a very special person to tolerate you dating other women after her whilst making up your mind.  But I suspect you probably made your feelings very clear to her and she was smart enough to know she "Had you hook, line and sinker" anyway.  I would also guess that you didn't waste much time getting right back to her?

Damn!  You caught me!   I thought I could slip that one by you as this thread has now gone full circle back to the origination. (With way too many detours along the way) 

My story actually supports your theory (and don't think that I don't hate that it does)  My wife and I knew each other very well through daily phone calls for over a couple of month period and we knew almost every detail of each others life.  We talked about everything under the sun; families, politics, goals, family structure, likes and dislikes, her country, my country, morals, dating here and there, but we tried our best not to get too romantic.  We were both realistic enough to know that any romantic connection had to be face to face.  We also knew that we were far from making any commitment to each other.  We operated under a don't ask don't tell premise when it came to others of the opposite sex in our life.

Lena was the first RW I met in Russia and as it turned out, I really didn't need to meet another.  But I did meet others and I am glad that I did.  Even though there was instant electricity in our first meeting we both played a little coy with each other and saw no harm in taking things slow.  To be totally honest, I had huge doubts due to the large age gap and was not hell bent on getting married.  It was nice to meet the other ladies as a comparison and Lena never objected or even considered that I wouldn't meet others.  You have to understand that my first trip was to meet a woman I came to like and respect very much through our phone calls and I didn't give much credence to the possibility of us clicking in a romantic way because of our ages.  I was very wrong in that prior assessment!   Much later in our relationship, Lena told me that she knew I was her man the moment I walked through the door.  But we played a little bit of the dating game until toward the end of my  trip when it became all too clear that we had the possibility of something special between us.  That is when our relationship took a turn towards a more serious one, with romantic dinners and meeting the family and such.

Just to somewhat complete the story, the phone calls became much different after the first trip.  We both understood that there was a good possibility of a future together and then the romance truly began to bloom.
KenC

[I/O]

I thought I could slip that one by you

Yes....we are fairly ssssssllllllooooooooowwww down here, but we do pick up on the odd thing now and then.   Oh BTW it does kind of prove that written communications can be quite successful. Shoot me...!!

(and don't think that I don't hate that it does)  No theories.....just experience. But that is only one amoungst a million I'll admit.

Lena told me that she knew I was her man the moment I walked through the door.

Think I might of mentioned this before also.  Women are women, Russian or not.  Sheeeeesh I hate it when they actually DO know so much sometimes.

Your account is a great story and I can relate about the age gap thing.  I went to hell and back over that 100 times.  The problem is that it is all theory because I can not come up with any supporting evidence for my concerns when we are together, personally, socially, commercially or any other way.

Anyway, yet another detour and the common denominater seems to be me.

I/O

[IAmZon]

Regardless of what method, what technique ... I just want to add a strong and blunt note of futility here!

When I first came on this forum, I TRULY and ABSOLUTELY thought I was going to outsmart the whole phucking system.  I saw this as Stepford land!  The market of available women demonstrates a high degree of responsivity; there are a ton of ladies to choose from; I reasoned it was going to be a Turkey Shoot.

I have come to learn, however, that I did not place enough emphasis on the individual, the chemistry, and the moment.  These are things outside the bounds of a numbers, generalities, methods, and techniques.

I thought that by taking advantage of the structures and mechanism of the market, I could sample, and test, and shop, and compare more - much more. One of my quotes was that "it would be possible to choose and date more in 3 months than in 5 lifetimes." On the surface this is true.  And the RW market is clearly superior to the AW.

But this approach does not account for a twinkle in the eyes, and endearing smiling;, an attractive habit that does not even have a name ... or bad breath.  And its these incalculable little things that ultimately attract or repel.

So, while perhaps by choosing to go to Russian, or Ukraine certainly may impact one's destiny, chance and the TOA (natural flow of things) rules the day ... it is the role of the dice, the flip of the coin.

As much as I wanted to game the market ... to enjoy an imbalance that seemingly makes my choice greater than my perspective mate ... this aspect of the adventure seems to me now to be superficial if not illusionary. 

[I/O]

I reasoned it was going to be a Turkey Shoot.... this aspect of the adventure seems to me now to be illusionary.

Point taken JB thus removed.

[jb]

Not really helpful, I/O

[jb]

Ya know what....
A lot of words have been expended around here, I like that... I means many guys are interested in the process.

Ya know what I don't like?
I don't like a lot of advice from those who have no experience. If you are in the fiancee stage, you know a little about one Russian or Ukrainian woman, you know very little about the overall culture.
The newbie needs to listen to.

KenC, who has lived with a RW for 6+ years.

AJ who has lived with a RW for 3+ years.
He needs to be listened to.

BC has lived with a RW for 4+ years.
He needs to listened to.

CaptB, who has lived with a RW for 3 years.
He needs to be listened to.

I have lived with a RW 5+ years, and,,,,
nobody listens to me, so screw you anyway.

All you new guys who come on board,,, try to figure out who has best plowed the same furrow you must work.  There's a wealth of information to be gleaned here.  Just make sure the guy you listen to actually has some real experience.  There's some blowhards around here with no experience.

'nuff said.

[jinx13]

jb,


 So marriages to AW don't count? What about just basic experience with women in general? Are Russian women so unique that our prior history and what we have learned does not apply?

 Specific to this thread, dating many women and the complications involved. I understand it IS very different to be doing this in the FSU, but the same basic rules do apply. I have heard very good advice here from people that are not even engaged yet. Kuna for example has a good head on his shoulders, and I can relate when he speaks about dating many women in his home country, after all don't a lot of you vets advise to treat her like you would a hometown girl?

p.s.  Many guys (myself included) have been to Russia/Ukraine, I think that experience counts for a lot. Maybe we even have MORE experience in certain areas than some of the married guys because possibly we have been to more places, and dated many women. I have found that I can relate to certain guys about the type of woman they have met, because I have met the exact type of girl (see Mayan paradise thread from DKMM)

It's pretty arrogant to think that the only opinions that matter here are from the married guys. RWD is divided in sections..Starting Out, Experienced, Married, etc.  If a newbie has a question for a married guy he knows where to post.

 What about Turbo, or Gator? A couple of guys I admire as far as written advice, and their balanced views, we should ignore them as well?

[jb]

Gator is one of my most favorite guys here...
But he still failed to grasp the brass ring on his go 'round.

Turbo is not in the realm of ordinary contention, a 38 years younger g/f is not usual and ordinary.

A previously failed marriage to a AW should not be considered qualifications for a successful marriage to a RW.

Where are you going with this post?

OK, so you've extended and revised your post...

p.s.  Many guys (myself included) have been to Russia/Ukraine, I think that experience counts for a lot. Maybe we even have MORE experience in certain areas than some of the married guys because possibly we have been to more places, and dated many women.

A visit or two is not an immersion situation, you were there for only a week or so,,,I don't think it counts for a lot, or actually for anything, you got led around by the hand by some hot gal, went shopping, and then she cut you loose, and I really doubt you've visited more places than me.

I have found that I can relate to certain guys about the type of woman they have met, because I have met the exact type of girl

That's because you've been led down the same stupid garden path, you were not able to sort out a scammer and a pro-dater from a serious girl. There is a world of difference in them.

It's pretty arrogant to think that the only opinions that matter here are from the married guys.

I think it's pretty stupid to automatically discount the opinions of the +5 year married guys just because you want to pick a fight.

[Turboguy]

I have spent close to a year of my life in the FSU.    As far as your other bone of contention do you see me going out and advising everyone to look for a much younger gal.  I happened to find a unique situation where it will work but I realize for many it is not something they should seek.

There are a lot of people with a lot to add.   I will agree that there is a wealth of information to be gleaned here but lots of it comes from others than the ones you mentioned.  I am not saying their advice is not good, just it is not the only good advice.

[jinx13]

 Not picking a fight jb, I'm replying to a post.

 You said:

A visit or two is not an immersion situation, you were there for only a week or so,,,I don't think it counts for a lot, or actually for anything, you got led around by the hand by some hot gal, went shopping, and then she cut you loose, and I really doubt you've visited more places than me.

 Why do you constantly speak like what you say is fact? My last time over I spent nearly a month in Kiev, Yalta, Moscow, and Volgograd. I was not lead around by anybody, well except maybe by a tour guide in Yalta. I didn't use agencies, I went to meet a few girls from Luckylovers.net, and to enjoy the experience. I had the best trip of any previous, and I did it pretty much all on my own.

I think it's pretty stupid to automatically discount the opinions of the +5 year married guys just because you want to pick a fight.

 jb, once again you are pulling this sh!t out of mid air, I never said to discount the opinions of the married guys, I only said the rest of us have a lot to offer too.

  Maybe we should just change this to the jb forum, and everyone can come to you for advice, I think that would be your dream come true.

[LEGAL]

Goodevening! all of us have very valuable and  different experiences regarding the FSU, which leads to some very opinionated  posts.
Some of you write long prolific and harsh words as if it were gospel.

I learned so much  reading from experienced people like conner, jet, catnmouse, rvrwind, william3, and many others sorry to many to list. I do respect all of your opinions as many others do. I see many people write as if there words were facts etched in stone and  they are not, this gives newbies the wrong ideas in theire heads and can cause them great harm in their endeavours.What works in one mans life most certainly will not work for another due to many differant reasons financial, social, personality, worldlines, education and the ability to communicate without attitude POZHALUISTA!!!

I personally did many trips to many countries prior to deciding on the FSU. I felt most comfortable using the immersion technique,I did not want to use a marriage agency for many reasons  (personal choice) I am not saying that they aren't good in fact if I had to use one I would choose someone like riverwinds, only because of my reading his post for a long time on another board.

I know this was off topic sorry.

Legal

[jb]

T/G,

I happened to find a unique situation

Stop BS'ing everyone, you did not "happen to find",,, you sought this out, it took you ten years to "Happen To Find" this situation.  Why do you continue to think we believe you *suddenly got lucky*.  You've been chasing young skirts since you found out about the FSU.

Not picking a fight jb, I'm replying to a post.

Yes, you are. 

"I spent nearly a month in Kiev, Yalta, Moscow, and Volgograd."

  Wow~! Nearly a whole month,,, do you realize there are some of us who have actually spent whole months in Russia?

I was not lead around by anybody, well except maybe by a tour guide in Yalta.

Has it occurred to you that some of us don't even need a tour guide?

jb, once again you are pulling this sh!t out of mid air, I never said to discount the opinions of the married guys, I only said the rest of us have a lot to offer too.

Not so far.

Maybe we should just change this to the jb forum, and everyone can come to you for advice, I think that would be your dream come true.

Hey~! not a bad idea, thank you.

[KenC]

There are many experienced people here giving advice acquired from those experiences and that's great.  But when people wander into  areas in which they have zero experience in, they are just guessing at what they're posting.  Members should confine their advice giving to what they have experienced.  For example, I would not begin to debate travel to the fsu with Turbo for he has traveled to every corner of the fsu over the last ten years.  My travel is limited to one specific area if Russia and no where near his amount of trips.  I bow to his superiority on the subject of travel to the fsu.  On the other hand Turbo should be respectful of my views on being married to a RW as I have passed the 7 1/2 year mark there and he was close to it with an 89 day K-1, but never actually married.  You have to give a guy his due in the area of his expertise, so to speak.

Jinx asked if marriages to AW count.  A little, is my answer.  That experience is going to be helpful in dealing with being married in general but not with the specifics of being married to a RW.  For example, Clyde here had a lot of questions after getting married to a RW, but most of them were related to being married and not specific to RW in any way.  He was a long time bachelor, you see.

Jinx also makes a point about dating skills in America being useful in the fsu and I happen to agree with that.  I have always said that if a man knows his way around women here, he will be golden over there.  But because Jinx did not actually find his true love in the fsu, his opinion on the how to find, romance and coodinate bringing a woman here is suspect, because he never successfully accomplished it.  maybe his theories on the subject will work and maybe they won't, but at this point they are only theories.  There are so many happily married here, that have gone through the process (in many different fashions) that there enough people to listen to that it is not necessary to consider theories on the subject.
KenC

(My Father used to say that opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one.  I would add that even if you have one, it may not be the least bit relevant)