Big City Women vs. Village Girls

[Trenchcoat]

It's just the attitude toward women.


From your posts, I surmise that you have almost no practical experience with UK women, or women in general, for that matter.  Your justifications are an excuse for your own failures.   I don't think this is anything  you can "learn" online.  You  have to go out and meet people, date women, and see what type of personality meshes with yours, and what doesn't.

You mean FSU men often don't treat the ladies well.

I think you are right Boethius I am best getting over there and meeting many FSW next time and see which one meshes best with me. The meet one was all very well to get to know the scene and ease me into it and gain some valuable experience but now I need to really work my way through many girls until I find the one. Many thanks

[Trenchcoat]

I was in London and saw how the women were.  My social group ended up being more expats or a mix.  Cliques tend to form with Brits because many go to the same university/school and have friends in that group.

We are all here for one goal, love so I try to learn as much from those who have experience and have been successful.

Successful, that counts me out so far lol. Yeah what tends to happen with women in UK is that they play a very tactical game. They get many men interested in them, say they will give the guy the eye, then when he comes onto them or shows interest they start to distance themselves. They do this to all the guys they meet gain their interest but keep them at arms length until they decide on one. After they decide on one they may still keep the other men at arms length or ignore them somewhat. It basically means men have to compete very hard for them and they can pick and choose, plus the more men that they have queuing for them the more it builds up their reputation & credibility, no doubt goof for their ego & self esteem also. Even many mediocre looking girls do this, chubbies can't though they are just desperate

Anyway that is why dating sucks so much in the south of England, possibly girls in other parts of the UK may be more easy going but girls in southern England well its like you have to pass an exam or something just to have the privilege of dating them. People here think it is me but loads of blokes in Southern England face the same problem and remain dateless for year & years as a result and most are decent everyday honest guys. So for me the FSU dating is like a dream, I know not a perfect one as there are issues but compared to the dating scene in Southern England a dream all the same  

[msmob]

Metabolism! you mean you bought that old excuse those chubby girls put out

Your daughters then no doubt have no trouble getting bf's as most UK guys are after average to slim woman even before looks etc are taken into account.

Trench, it is noted you persist with nonsensical ideals, conceptions and your 'sense of humour' isn't improving ....

Successful, that counts me out so far lol. Yeah what tends to happen with women in UK is that they play a very tactical game. They get many men interested in them, say they will give the guy the eye, then when he comes onto them or shows interest they start to distance themselves. They do this to all the guys they meet gain their interest but keep them at arms length until they decide on one. After they decide on one they may still keep the other men at arms length or ignore them somewhat. It basically means men have to compete very hard for them and they can pick and choose, plus the more men that they have queuing for them the more it builds up their reputation & credibility, no doubt goof for their ego & self esteem also. Even many mediocre looking girls do this, chubbies can't though they are just desperate

Anyway that is why dating sucks so much in the south of England, possibly girls in other parts of the UK may be more easy going but girls in southern England well its like you have to pass an exam or something just to have the privilege of dating them. People here think it is me but loads of blokes in Southern England face the same problem and remain dateless for year & years as a result and most are decent everyday honest guys. So for me the FSU dating is like a dream, I know not a perfect one as there are issues but compared to the dating scene in Southern England a dream all the same  

It IS you .. Most of the guys who have long-term relationships with FSU W don't/didn't  have problems doing the same at home.... they just made a conscious decision to search in the FSU....

[Boethius]

You mean FSU men often don't treat the ladies well.

No, that's not what I meant at all. 

I think you are right Boethius I am best getting over there and meeting many FSW next time and see which one meshes best with me. The meet one was all very well to get to know the scene and ease me into it and gain some valuable experience but now I need to really work my way through many girls until I find the one. Many thanks

Well, I actually think you should be dating locally first to build your social skills.  You can't do that just dating in the FSU, as your time there will be sporadic.

[JayH]

Well, I actually think you should be dating locally first to build your social skills.  You can't do that just dating in the FSU, as your time there will be sporadic.

To go further --he needs to get out and talk to people --men & women, fat & thin,old & young,black & white etc etc.
It is clear that he is incompetent to interact with people generally.He has to learn to talk to people and be competent at that before he even contemplates getting remotely close to any women -in any culture.

Moby -I may not agree with you very often- but I 100% understand your irritation on this guy.He just keeps on keeping on with offensive comments.

[Sting23]

Anyway that is why dating sucks so much in the south of England, possibly girls in other parts of the UK may be more easy going but girls in southern England well its like you have to pass an exam or something just to have the privilege of dating them.

Trench, when I was in London just because I didn't date British girls didn't mean I didn't date!  There are so many types of people passing through London, I met American, French, Czech, Polish, Japanese girls... There are so many Eastern European people living and working there, Hungarian, Romanian..
It really must be you because you should have no excuse finding women.

How old are you? what age range are you targeting?  Like other people have said, if you are in the UK it is a 3 hour flight to Moscow or St Petersburg or Kiev..get off your arse.

Do the FSU girls you date remain friends with you even if they stop dating?  I've had Russian friends introduce me to their single friends, they are more likely to meet you because the friend can vouch for you. 

[Sting23]

There is a big contingent of Russian people in London too, as it is a very desirable place to immigrate to.  Maybe go find a few of them first.

[Trenchcoat]

Trench, when I was in London just because I didn't date British girls didn't mean I didn't date!  There are so many types of people passing through London, I met American, French, Czech, Polish, Japanese girls... There are so many Eastern European people living and working there, Hungarian, Romanian..
It really must be you because you should have no excuse finding women.

How old are you? what age range are you targeting?  Like other people have said, if you are in the UK it is a 3 hour flight to Moscow or St Petersburg or Kiev..get off your arse.

Do the FSU girls you date remain friends with you even if they stop dating?  I've had Russian friends introduce me to their single friends, they are more likely to meet you because the friend can vouch for you.

Yes, yes, we're trying to get rid of all those people when we leave the EU Seriously, those groups tend to keep themselves separate from English people as so often happens to be the case with immigrant groups, they stick with their own. I've worked with the odd Polish person and they are usually friendly enough to be with, sometimes slightly odd in manner but being let into their social groups they tend not to be very open to. You as an outsider as well as you have already alluded to would have found it easier to mix in their social groups.

I don't come from London, but further to the South than London, their are a fair few polish around but same problem. I have met a couple of Russian acquaintances/work colleagues over the years and have one now. They are fine to work with but take time getting to know.

Well I am in my very late thirties, I have met/dated a couple of girls in their mid twenties and one girl in her very late twenties. I am really wanting to move this into early to mid thirties next time as I think this age group I will fair better with in terms of seriousness.

No, generally they do not remain friends after we stop dating, partly as I have only met with 3 girls so far and partly that it has broken down so keeping communicating is not really an option. The last girl I have stopped communicating with her though theoretically I could do in the future or she could do. I know what they say about social circles but with these girls its been dating or nothing really. Part of the problem I think is that I haven't really been let into their inner circle/life and that would be far easier if spending time in their city for a while, but last girl ruled this out unless She visit me first.

So yes I know its a short flight to FSU for us Brits but we do have that thing called work you know Theoretically I could do a number of long weekends or a week every 2-3 months, but like I say I really want to spend some time being over their and actually know the girl, date as local do (well similar). I don't think the quick fly in & out helps many men on this venture but contributes to a, 'here's foreigner for the week/weekend that doesn't really know us that we can rip off' mentality from the girls. Sure some guys that are good socially or get lucky can make the quick fly in & out work but I think a longer stay is better.

That is what I am working towards and should be able to do it next year when the weather warms up. That said yes I am itching to get over there before then and am now getting towards the point where I could do a quick visit if only to satisfy my want to get out there as soon as Problem is if I get in with one at the moment my time is limited and will be till spring because of the work I have on but I'll see how it goes.

[BC]

Trench,
I'm hearing just a lot of excuses.. 'these keep to themselves', 'those are fat', 'these take time to get to know', etc etc

That 'tude will, of course, get you nowhere.  Not even off the couch.  With what 300,000 plus FSU folks in close proximity?

Maybe spend a weekend or two browsing around Londongrad.  Try to take some RU lessons, find some of their hangouts, interact with 'them'. There must be at LEAST a hundred FSU haunts there.  Restaurants, stores, clubs, etc.  Maybe you have a hobby, find some FSU folks that have similar interests... learn how to play chess at one of their clubs or visit their cultural center, art galleries and other cultural events. http://20bedfordway.com/news/russian-culture-in-london/  No matter male or female, pretty or not, just get a foot in the door and see where the hallway leads you.  IMHO if you can't even do that then best to forget FSUW altogether...  considering the time constraints you described I wouldn't even think about buying a ticket.

Sorry to be so blunt, but this ain't the amazon customer service hotline

[ML]

And be sure-when woman likes man really, she will follows him even to Moon .

Why doesn't she ride in same space shuttle rather than following him?

[2tallbill]

Sure some guys that are good socially or get lucky can make the quick
fly in & out work but I think a longer stay is better.

First you need to find a girl. A weekend is fine for a meet and greet with
a half dozen or so girls until you find one that you have chemistry with.
Rinse and repeat as necessary until you find a good one.

Then you have somebody to pursue and drive cRaZy with zirconium
rings and such.

[Boethius]

Two of them I had met said they were the breadwinners in the family and they couldn't take it and ended the marriages.

I ask the FSUW here to provide their comments, but for absolutely every UW I've ever known, this would be a foreign concept.  It's just not in their mentality.  They would never dump a husband because the woman was the breadwinner.  Saying this is something they would have learned from the West. 

[wallm]

You speak in such absolutes. Is there a single code by which all UW live by? It is akin to you saying UW over 30 with children will die alone. The drama is overwhelming sometimes.

[Sting23]

Trench..yeah I echo what others say..excuses. If you are an an hour or two away from London I'd be going there every weekend.  I mean be honest when did you last have a date in your own city or area.  I would say forget about FSU girls if you can't even attract one at home.

[Boethius]

You speak in such absolutes. Is there a single code by which all UW live by? It is akin to you saying UW over 30 with children will die alone. The drama is overwhelming sometimes.

I'm just  telling you the mentality. 


If an AW told you "My husband was making $150,000 a year, was home every night for dinner at six, our 3,000 square foot home was paid for, and I was satisfied with my $35,000 a year job, but I decided his failure to give up Saturday morning golf was too much, so I left him.  I am thrilled living in this bachelor apartment and supporting myself, fully on my own." would you believe that was the reason for her divorce?


I didn't say UW over 30 with children will die alone.  I have said that is the prevailing attitude in Ukraine.  It is their culture and cultural assumption.

[Madlen]

Why doesn't she ride in same space shuttle rather than following him?

ML, it means the same as "to follow him"  .

It is as wife of Decembrist - russian history ( Decembrist revolt in 1825 year in St. Petersburg).

11 women followed their husbands into exile in Siberia. They lost all: the titles, wealth, estates. But they desided be with husbands till death. Great women.

Sorry, I made small trip to Russian history .

[Jumper]

ML, it means the same as "to follow him"  .

It is as wife of Decembrist - russian history ( Decembrist revolt in 1825 year in St. Petersburg).

11 women followed their husbands into exile in Siberia. They lost all: the titles, wealth, estates. But they desided be with husbands till death. Great women.

Sorry, I made small trip to Russian history .

  I always think of my wife as decembrist
She's already followed me  across more of this planet than most will ever see, and all kinds of good or bad  life situations.
 Have to try Siberia someday.
 

[Boethius]

Not all the Decembrists' wives followed them.  Some stayed in St. Petersburg, attending balls, living their lives.  They "moved on".

[Jumper]

Very true, just the story is more known for those that gave up everything they were accustomed to.

The most notable, left  to follow a husband twice her age. The MOB
Agencies have marketed the trait for a couple decades.
Obviously an outlier,  but that's never stopped a good marketing campaign.

[Madlen]

Not all the Decembrists' wives followed them.  Some stayed in St. Petersburg, attending balls, living their lives.  They "moved on".

Yes, followed only 11.

[ML]

Not all the Decembrists' wives followed them.  Some stayed in St. Petersburg, attending balls, living their lives.  They "moved on".

I hope Sandro placed them on his lists.

[Madlen]

  I always think of my wife as decembrist
She's already followed me  across more of this planet than most will ever see, and all kinds of good or bad  life situations.
 Have to try Siberia someday.

Wonderful  . I wish your family big love, respect and all the best .

Society is great, when there are a lot of happy people in it.

[2tallbill]

Mod Request

There is also a thread with some more current posts (see link below).
Would it be a ton of work to merge these two threads? Then members
can see all the information posted in one spot? It also might generate
some current interest.



http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22237.msg470319#msg470319

[ML]

A very nice situation is when you can find a partner who can adapt to either big city or village life.

In my case, wife grew up in a very small town, went to University in a larger town, and then lived for 15 or so years in Kyiv.

So she can 'do it all.'

Currently, she is still all 'gung ho' about large gardens and our wood burning whole house furnace.
The latter means she wants us to continue cutting, splitting and stacking firewood.
I would just as soon give this up (house also has heat pump and oil furnace), but . . .

My back and legs are killing me after the past couple of weeks related to the above and other standard 'Fall time' chores.

[I/O]

This thread and it's predecessor..🤣

For the record, JB and I became firm friends at some point and still have occasional contact by other means.

I don't recall the debate ever being settled...🤔