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Author Topic: Russian women are not for everyone!  (Read 22497 times)

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Offline KenC

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Russian women are not for everyone!
« on: January 19, 2007, 10:37:12 PM »
We spend a lot of time here talking about how to be prepared to go to fsu countries, what things to avoid and what to expect once you go there.  We also speak endlessly on how to do this and that in seeking a RW.  It has come up more and more lately that this pursuit is not for everyone.  Instead of discussing this idea from the point of view of "what it takes to be successful" let's talk about the men that should stay home and never step foot in a fsu country ever!

I'll start it out with my candidate:
The newly divorced AM.

With all the emotional trauma that can bestowed upon a man just over a recent divorce, he is in no way emotionally capable to jump into this process.  His fragile emotional status will make him completely vulnerable to every scam artist on the net.  He is in a very needy position in his life and there is just too much danger of him making life changing decisions that are necessary here.  Besides this process usually ends up as a fast track to marriage and someone fresh from divorce needs some recovery time before entering into another marriage. 

There is also a tendency of wanting to get some "arm candy" just to satisfy his resentment toward his ex wife.  That certainly is not a recipe for building a strong and healthy marriage with his new wife.  How long is long enough after a divorce?  I would think a minimum of one year, but two would be better.
KenC

What other types of men should not get involved?
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
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Offline Turboguy

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2007, 10:47:07 PM »
Personally I think even that one is not an absolute.   There are guys who come out of a divorce devastated, dejected and an emotional mess.   Others don't.  I came out of mine happier than if I had won the PowerBall.   For the most part though I agree with your suggestion.

Of course another who should not try it is someone who is not financially able to carry through on his efforts and someone who is not good husband material to start with.  Add one more for someone who is not able to deal with difficulties because this will be far more taxing than he can deal with.   Those are some of my thoughts.  I will stop there for now.

Offline Mir

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2007, 12:44:19 AM »
A man who thinks that FSU women are desperate to leave and he can flash his money there and get a wife far younger and prettier then what he can get at home.
This results in the misconception that the woman he rescues will be in eternal debt to him and so will be subservient to him for life.

Offline I/O

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2007, 12:53:16 AM »
There is also a tendency of wanting to get some "arm candy" just to satisfy his resentment toward his ex wife......What other types of men should not get involved?

Right on with that one.  I very nearly fell for that myself with a local lady until I took a long hard reality check.

A few of those who I think shouldn't go.

Men who havn't dated anyone somewhat seriously at home in the last two years.
Men without money.
Men without good sense.  (Note I don't say comon sense because it ain't very comon)
Men with no b@lls.
Men with limited patience.
Men with little available vacation time.  2 or 3 weeks per year is not enough.
Men who have not travelled abroad at least somewhat. (Some exceptions exist)
Men who don't feel comfortable in a variety of social situations.
Men with substantial financial debts.
Men with any cultural or racial resistance whatsoever.
Men without a decent geographic knowledge.  (Russians laugh at the western ignorance)
Men who havn't yet gotten some handle on immigration processes.
Men who are Bigots, Rednecks, Poofters and Wankers should also refrain from bringing their countries into disgrace. (Yes there is a paradox in that sentence)  ::)

I could add many to the list, but I think that's enough to cause some comment for now.  Time will show. ::)

I/O
« Last Edit: January 20, 2007, 12:55:40 AM by I/O »

Offline Louie

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2007, 01:01:11 AM »
Sheesh I\O save some for the rest of us will ya!

Like I\O said Impatience
self centered, someone who thinks there getting a mindless house maid and sex slave and will do anything he says, just because your in his country
Your Mom is so dumb that she tried to minimize a 12 variable function to a minimal sum of products expression using a karnaugh map instead of the Quine-McCluskey Algorithm.

Offline ScottinCrimea

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2007, 01:47:21 AM »
Of course there is your basic, overweight video game addicted slob with no social skills and no manners who stumbles on a Russian Bride site and thinks he can have his choice of the 20 somethings there.

Offline BC

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2007, 04:46:41 AM »
Men applying for their first passport.

Offline jb

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2007, 05:10:14 AM »
ROFLMFAO,  I agree with everyone. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Offline Bruce

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2007, 05:32:13 AM »
The majority of men in the USA would be in a whole lot of hurt if they married the average RW.  Guys lurking - do your best here.  You'll be a lot better off in the long run. 

Guys wanting to deal with RW, seriously usually need:

Worldliness
Dollars
Patience
"A word is dead when it is said, some say.  I say it just begins to live that day."  Emily Dickinson

Offline ScottinCrimea

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2007, 07:11:55 AM »
Bruce, you left out common sense and a sense of humor.  And patience should have been highlighted and capitalized.

Offline KenC

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2007, 07:14:50 AM »
ROFLMFAO,  I agree with everyone. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Damn!!! That has got to be a first!!!!!!!!! :D
KenC
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

Offline KenC

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2007, 07:35:34 AM »
How about guys without an "open mind?"  I mean this in the way that they are not open to a different perspective of their own country, their own customs and their own culture.  They are going to be hit with a whole different perspective on these topics.  If a guy cannot accept that there is a different (and maybe valid) viewpoint on these, he is toast with a RW.  He will also be barking up the wrong tree if he enters into this process with the typical American arrogance that everything American is better than what the rest of the world has to offer.

I recall the endless debates between my adult son and Lena when she first arrived.  Two stubborn azz Russians debating the virtues of their respective countries.  Neither willing to concede that the other might have a point or two of validity.  I was surprised at my son's inability to have an open mind on the subject and thinking that he would not be a good candidate for marriage to a foreign woman.

In "defense" of Lena's "closed mind" at the time, she was just new here and her defensive attitude could be expected.  I knew in time, that she needed to learn more about America and that her judgement would change (and it did).
KenC
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

Offline Voyageur

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2007, 08:07:03 AM »
Another attribute that should be high on the list for for any AM that will consider having a relationship with a FSU woman is to have a thick skin. Expect no sugar-coating or platitudes - when describing some situation, person or slight.

The blunt and direct nature of many of the women from the FSU can be somewhat startling, given America's P.C. sensibilities today.

But, I have really found this plain talk to be quite refreshing and easy, after being properly trained of course!

Offline I/O

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2007, 10:14:47 AM »
How about guys without an "open mind?"  I mean this in the way that they are not open to a different perspective of their own country, their own customs and their own culture.  They are going to be hit with a whole different perspective on these topics.  If a guy cannot accept that there is a different (and maybe valid) viewpoint on these, he is toast with a RW.  KenC

That hits another nail firmely on the head.  But it goes further than that.  If you are seriously thinking of bringging a Russian woman home to your country, have a dammed good look at the people she with have to associate with once she arrives.  Some can be so bigoted and cruel through sheer ignorance. 

I remember when Anna arrived here the first time, she was very timid and tentative, so I did the protective thing for a few days and didn't allow a situation to occur where she was attacked in any way shape of form.  My parents were the poeple I was most confident about as we had always held a strong ethos of accepting all.  I was stunned after the first meeting when my mother remarked to me, "She is just like one of us".  My repose was a bit rough on my deal old mum....Duhhhhhhhh what did you expect? Some b@llsy b!tch waving a kalashnikof? Kind of made me realise in a big hurry, just some of the things which will need to be endured.

It is important to understand that when anyone is taken from there natural environment they will be insecure and of course the precipitent is to be defensive of what they know and at times critical of what they don't know.  This leads me to another point, the type of man who can't handle this shouldn't go to the FSU or any other country for that matter seeking a foriegn wife.  Remember, different always seems wrong in the beginning, always, that is just human nature.  Can you handle the constant opposition to your way of doing things whilst she adjusts. 

Another type of man who should not go is the one who wants to take a bucket of photos and information about his country and talk non stop about that.  I see this too many times.  They learn nothing about the woman and her lifestyle and 90% of the time kill any opportunity to succeed. 

Usually when you have your mouth open you are not learning.

I/O

Offline viking

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2007, 10:41:45 AM »
I/O

You make a lot of sense with your list of "those you should not go". But I will take excetion to two of them. First, most men do not own their own company or work in a position that allows them somewhat unlimited vacation time. Most work for companies that are under vacation schedules. To say that a guy with only 2-3 weeks vacation a year is eliminated from finding an RW could eliminate a sizeable population. I would like to think that if an AM in this position does his research carefully, plans his trips say around holidays, he can go over there several times a year with maybe 5-6 days on the gound each time. It may take a bit longer, but it is perfectly doable. One does not have to go for weeks at a clip. Secondly, large debt is may not be the main issue. It is disposable income. One can have huge debt, but if he makes huge money, so what. What is left over after the bills are paid is what counts.
Tom Hanks in Castaway: You never know what the tide may bring in.
Viking: But you still need to walk along the beach to find it.

Offline KenC

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2007, 11:02:33 AM »
I/O,
You hit on a few things in your last post I would like to elaborate on.  When the RW first arrives in your home country, there is an understandable tendency for her to be clingy and what could be described as over whelming attached to her man.  Again this is understandable because you are her only lifeline there and a bit of paranoia is to be expected.  None the less, this can be a very suffocating feeling for the man.  The man has to be able to understand it and persevere through that period of time.  It also brings up the idea of having enough time available that is necessary to be on hand for this period of insecurity for your woman.  A guy that has to leave town on a business trip leaving his RW alone in a strange home with language challenges and limited mobility just isn't right.  In fact, it is a little like putting your woman into solitary confinement.

The other issue you raise is that learning each other's culture and customs is a two way street.  I know that I have changed my opinion or actually developed an opinion of certain things here in America based on Lena's observations.  She has often made me re-think my stance on opinions of mine that were generated over time and slanted towards the more commonly accepted ones here.  An open mind will allow for such things.
KenC
You are a den of vipers and thieves-Andrew Jackson on banks
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies-Thomas Jefferson

Offline Turboguy

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2007, 11:06:43 AM »
I agree with you Viking, there are exceptions to every rule.  I think the things that have been said are all good.   I think when someone has an area that they do not comply with they need to look at it more as a challenge than a roadblock.  

Yes, It is good to have lots of vacation time.  It lets you speed things up but someone can do exactly as you said and make the most of the time they have.

Someone with a limited income can also succeed but they need to be honest in their expectations and in how they present themselves.  All in all there are a lot of good thoughts being presented here and I agree with them.

I think the same applies to many of the characteristics that are mentioned.   For the most part the fewer of the negative qualites someone has the better their chances of success.

Offline KenC

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2007, 11:13:35 AM »
I agree with you Viking, there are exceptions to every rule. 
Someone with a limited income can also succeed
.
Ra ra ra, shishgombah, you can do it even if you break all the rules and ignore all the good advice!!!  (Just ask Turbo man)

Edited to add:
That is exactly the kind of lame and misleading advice I had hoped to avoid in this thread.  This thread was started in hopes to show some what traits or tendencies will undermine your chances of success.  Yes, there always will be exceptions, thank you TG for again pointing out the oh so obvious.  Your chances of success with a limited vacation schedule, well, is limited.  At best it will take a long long time, if you can find a RW that will wait for you.  Or you will be pushing a K-1 far too early increasing your chances of failure.

As for the limited funds can be overcome "advice", if you cannot afford it you are doomed to make poor and hasty choices and substantially increase your chances of failure.  This is an expensive venture and you shouldn't start it if you cannot afford it.  If you have any doubts about the cost, read the FAQ section in the upper left corner because the costs certainly don't end with a purchase of a plane ticket. 
KenC
« Last Edit: January 20, 2007, 01:29:52 PM by KenC »
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Offline IAmZon

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2007, 11:20:20 AM »
A man that is not inwardly prepared.  That is the man that should not get involved with RW looking for a mate in earnest.  Once one knows, and only when one knows ... then all the other things are just things - they can be learned, or otherwise overcome.

(It is AMAZING how I have used this interest to gain a much, much clearer picture of what I was seeking in a woman EXACTLY, and what I was willing and able to provide in return. Self help on steroids.)

The man who is primarily looking to gain abroad that which evades him at home - youth and beauty.

The man who believes changing the field will change the result.



Offline Louie

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2007, 11:23:15 AM »
Usually when you have your mouth open you are not learning.

I/O


              I have a saing that goes; God gave us 2 eyes 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason
Your Mom is so dumb that she tried to minimize a 12 variable function to a minimal sum of products expression using a karnaugh map instead of the Quine-McCluskey Algorithm.

Offline Turboguy

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2007, 11:45:59 AM »
Ra ra ra, shishgombah, you can do it even if you break all the rules and ignore all the good advice!!!  (Just ask Turbo man)

LOL, KenC, I am not saying you can break all the rules and succeed.  I am saying that if someone falls short on one rule they can still succeed at it but they will need to work harder at it.  Probably I was referring to Viking more than anything in my post.  Viking does not have a job that give him tons of vacation time.   He tries to comensate by making more but shorter trips.  I don't see it as impossible for him and if you do then you will have to explain why to me.

I have also seen guys succeed without a lot of income.  My friend Mike from Michigan comes to my mind.  He didn't have a big income but was honest with Inna about it and they are doing fine with about a year and a half of marriage under their belt.   They just moved into a new double wide, cheapest model they could get but they are happy as two pigs in Sh!t.   Still I think someone with limited income should think long and hard before getting into this cause it isn't cheap.   

I spend some time over at VJ and the things you see about money can really make you wonder.   Like one young guy who just got the visa approved but doesn't have enough money for the airline ticket to bring her here.   You also see lots with a fiancee and no income at all trying to figure out how to meet the income requirements.  It really makes you shake your head.

Offline KenC

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2007, 11:48:59 AM »
Turbo,
Please read my edit to my original post as I was making it while you posted.
KenC
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Offline viking

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2007, 11:56:38 AM »
Ken

Good advice is good advice and should not be ignored. But the advice goes to learning, preparation, planning and so forth. Because a guy has 3 weeks vacation should not deny him the ability to find a good RW. Everyone should have  shot. It just means the plans and preparation need to be more carefully thought out. And one can live in a nice apartment, have a moderate income, afford the things he needs and sometimes the things we wants and as long as he is honest about himself and the women are honest enough to accept this, then there should be no issue on this issue.
Tom Hanks in Castaway: You never know what the tide may bring in.
Viking: But you still need to walk along the beach to find it.

Offline Turboguy

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #23 on: January 20, 2007, 12:04:25 PM »
Ok, KenC,  I agree with you and other than the fact that some of these can be overcome with effort and some should not be I agree with everything posted.  Let's get back on the topic then.

Offline BC

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Re: Russian women are not for everyone!
« Reply #24 on: January 20, 2007, 12:08:33 PM »
I/O

You make a lot of sense with your list of "those you should not go". But I will take excetion to two of them. First, most men do not own their own company or work in a position that allows them somewhat unlimited vacation time. Most work for companies that are under vacation schedules. To say that a guy with only 2-3 weeks vacation a year is eliminated from finding an RW could eliminate a sizeable population. I would like to think that if an AM in this position does his research carefully, plans his trips say around holidays, he can go over there several times a year with maybe 5-6 days on the gound each time. It may take a bit longer, but it is perfectly doable. One does not have to go for weeks at a clip. Secondly, large debt is may not be the main issue. It is disposable income. One can have huge debt, but if he makes huge money, so what. What is left over after the bills are paid is what counts.

Viking,

Two or three weeks a year vacation time puts one in the position of being between a rock and a hard place.. usually resulting in a rush to judgment and likely trainwreck.  We're talking a huge investment in time not only in FSU but back home as well during the adjustment period.  I spent practically no time searching but almost three months in FSU after meeting my wife and another couple months after her arrival here.

Sure a few quick trips a year searching might be enough to find an interesting woman but what about the dating period not to mention time off for immigration issues and at least a few weeks if not more once she arrives?  Knowing what I know about this quest if one of my employees even mentioned they were pursuing a RW I'd probably sign a pink slip and tell the guy to reapply after he's been married at least a year.   

Whether employed or self-employed this venture kills productivity.


 

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