Experienced newbie or Newbie Experienced

[Hub]

I am perhaps unusual here in that I have lived in eastern europe for about 12 of the last 24 months, yet I know little about eastern europe.  I have no experience in obtaining dates with eastern european women, yet I have had 12 live-in girlfriends in eastern europe.

So I need a lot of help, and perhaps I have some help to give.

How to explain the above seeming paradox?

I retired from full-time work as a management consultant in my early 50s a couple of years ago.  Then I was given the opportunity to go to eastern europe to help set up new offices for subsidiaries of western firms.

In several eastern european cities I lived very well in terms of corporate apartments, etc., and I was led by the hand in my contact with the locals.  Helpers would do shopping for me, drive me around, etc.  Most everyone I had contact with spoke English and I had the full-time use of interpreters when needed.

That is a short explanation of how I spent 12 months in eastern europe, yet know very little about the average person living there and know nothing about the countryside outside of the major cities.

I was much too busy to seek out women for dates, yet I ended up on many dates and had the live-in girlfriends.  How did this happen?
Mainly from 3 situations:

1) Eastern european business colleagues were always inviting me for dinner, to go to theatre, etc.  At such dinners and theatres there would inevitably be an unattached woman there who was a cousin, niece, friend of the wife, neighbor, etc.  This woman would then suggest to me that it would be very interesting to go to such and such at a later date, etc.  Then they would want to see my apt, cook me a meal, etc.

2) My female interpreters would offer to go to diner with me, then suggest they come to my apartment to cook a real meal etc.  Then say that since my apt was so big, it would be more convenient if they stayed there with me, etc., etc.

3) Women I met in office buildings would suggest places for me to go for lunch, then say they would go with me to show me how to get there, then suggest they could come to my apt to cook me better food, etc.

OK so I know quite a bit about eastern european women having been romantically involved with 12 of them for about 12 months.  Always one at a time and in different cities.  But I know nothing about how to go about seeking out women on my own who are better suited to me.

Why weren't any of the 12 suited to me?  Because they were all (except for 1) much too young and beautiful for me.

I hope to gain a bunch of info here and maybe help some others also.

Hub

[Bruno]

Why weren't any of the 12 suited to me?  Because they were all (except for 1) much too young and beautiful for me.

Hmmmm... but none of these 12 have think that you was to much old and ugly for them... so what is the problem... they have find you a men enough good for show some interest... do you know that women seek not only young and beautiful men... some other quality are at a high level in her request list for a husband...

Don't over estimate yourself but never underestimate yourself... 12 girls in 12 month... at these speed, you will find the right one in short time...

and I was led by the hand in my contact with the locals.  Helpers would do shopping for me, drive me around, etc.

And what have stop you to explore the place by yourselfs... the first time that i have visit Russia, it was not possible, always a interpreter ( official titel ) from the KGB with me... i was military in official mission for the NATO in the time of the cold war... but now, all is very different, you are almost free to go everywhere and make what you will...

If you are always in FSU now, next summer... go to the market for buy yourself some meat, beer and vodka... go to the nearest park... start a little fire, power on the the music recorder that you have take with you... in very short time, some guys and girls will share your fire... eat the grill meat, drink and enjoy the time... no, it is not dating but more about making friends... these russian friend will help you to explore the real Russia...

Friend, you don't need help... you have the potential but fear to use it... don't fear and let's go... simply enjoy the process... but remember, making friend is one thing... dating is a very little more difficult... but finding your life partner is a real quest, difficult and without any magical recept...

[Bruce]

If I were you I would get over "they were much too young and beautiful" for me part to start with.  Then, I would go about doing what you were doing to meet the beautiful young girls who threw themselves at you in the first place.  By the way, I assume you have some of their contact information.  If I were you I would call one if not more of the twelve and see if it could lead to a long term relationship  .  

[Mir]

So you lived in 12 different Eastern European cities for one month each?
And in each city you have a new young and beautiful girlfriend to take care of all your needs?
Hmmmm most intriguing. I think you have something special about you that makes you irresistible to Eastern European women. So when they meet you immediately they have this urge to move in with you,cook your meals,wash your clothes etc. etc. and when you move to a new city they just let go of you without any questions asked!
By the way which cities did you live in?

[Hub]

Thanks for comments.

To Bruno:  Not 12 women in 12 months.  12 women in 24 months.  I never underestimate myself.  I have no problems with self confidence.  I couldn't have worked for nearly 30 years in mgmt consulting with a top firm otherwise.  I have no fear, as you suggested.

"but none of these 12 have think that you was to much old and ugly for them... so what is the problem"

I don't base my decisions on what these women may have thought  about me.  My decision will be based on what I think.

They were too young for me because they were mostly younger than my own daughter.  If they want to spend time with me with no strings attached, then fine.  But I am not about to enter into a marriage with such.

"And what have stop you to explore the place by yourselfs"

I simply had little spare time.  And when I did have spare time, I was already with someone.

To Bruce:  I think I have answered your comments also in my response to Bruno above.

To Mir:  I am under no illusions about what you term my irresistibility.  The young women smelled money . . . pure and simple.  I told them all up front there was no long-term future for us.  So there was no crying when I moved on.  I have kept in contact with most of them and have given them advice on new western guys they are meeting.  One of them has now married a guy and living in USA.  Another is engaged to USA guy who posts on another of these boards.

The cities are all the capital cities of the Baltics, Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova, plus the other biggest cities in Ukraine and Russia.  Too many to spell and type out.  But all my flights, visas, apts, etc., were arranged by others, so I can't be of any help in that regard!  Sorry :-))

[William3rd]

Oh Pullleeeze- a dozen women just dying to spend time with you with no strings attached. . . . . The unattached woman through business contacts is common, since they want to hook their single friends up with eligible bachelors.

The rest of the tale just doesnt ring true. . . .

[Rvrwind]

The rest of the tale just doesnt ring true. . . .

Maybe so but in the off chance it is true my question would be 'Why in he!! would you want to screw that up by gettin' married??

[Hub]

William, sorry to offend you.  I claim no special appeal.  As I replied above, the women smelled money pure and simple.  The same result would occur for any man in my situation.

[William3rd]

Dont worry- I am not offended. . . Having been a horn dog working with marraige agencies for years. . . .

I just dont find the no strings part credible

[LEGAL]

Very interesting case 
Hub,
I think that you are a potential bachelor 

Olga

[Hub]

Dont worry- I am not offended. . . Having been a horn dog working with marraige agencies for years. . . .

I just dont find the no strings part credible

- - - - - - -

Well OK, some strings were suggested, but I always replied we were not an appropriate match age wise.  They knew it was true, so eventually accepted.  But they still enjoyed the high life in luxury apt, going to expensive events, etc.

[Hub]

my question would be 'Why in he!! would you want to screw that up by gettin' married??

- - - - - - - -

RV, time has come for me to settle down.

[Hub]

Very interesting case 
Hub,
I think that you are a potential bachelor 

Olga

- - - - - -

Olga, I am already a bachelor . . . not a potential one.  But now I want to find my lifetime partner.

[Rvrwind]

RV, time has come for me to settle down.

Tell ya' what Bubba, lets trade, straight across, your life for mine!

[LEGAL]

12 girlfriends.
Hub,
In your opinion some women were too young for you others thought only of your money.

About young girls I agree with you. I do not exclude an opportunity of happy misalliance. But as the saying goes - the exception proves the rule.

Hub, not all women make a supper for the man to get his money. 

Olga.

[Mir]

Hub

So why do you want to settle with an FSU woman? Afterall from your experience they all want just one thing,money....I would keep away from them if this is true.

And can you tell us which nationality you liked most? I am sure you will be the only one who has lived with girls from all the FSU countries over a very short span of time. Or is it that they were also 'arranged' by others and you can't remember where they came from?

[Photo Guy]

I guess this is what characterizes your relationships:

The young women smelled money . . . pure and simple.  I told them all up front there was no long-term future for us.

That may be your 'problem'.  If you date within that concept- that women
will perceive your financial situation and that will the determining factor
for them, it could become a self-fullfilling prophesy. 

You say you will decide who your partner will be, and her decision
will sort of be secondary. That attitude could be a problem for
finding a long-term relationship.

My dating advise is this:
The moment you realize the woman you are seeing is wrong for you,
move on. If she seems interested in you because of your money,
move on. You need to sharpen your ability to perceive her
view of you, to the point where you can determine whether or not
she is attracted to your character or just your money.
It's that simple.  If you are spending a month with a woman
you know is not appropriate for you, you are wasting your time
and hers.  Yes, get over the beauty thing. If she's too young for
you, don't date her at all, don't bring her home for 'dinner'.

Decide whether or not you are looking for a wife or playmate.

She doesn't cry when you breakup? That's warm and fuzzy, but
you should be focusing on being with an appropriate woman.
Stick to your criteria. What exactly is your criteria? 
Maybe that's the problem?

[William3rd]

The old American adage was "a way to a man's heart is through his stomach." And there is another way to get attention but I dont discuss it on G rated boards .

You need to get past the superficial. . . . .

[LEGAL]

The old American adage was "a way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

It is not only American but Russian too 

Olga

[Rvrwind]

"a way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

But in Russian it translates as keep him fat & no other woman will want him!!! ;DROTF

[LEGAL]

But in Russian it translates as keep him fat & no other woman will want him!!! ;DROTF

It probably is the cruel and silly woman. 
She does not think about health and a long happy life together. 

Olga.

[Bruno]

The rest of the tale just doesnt ring true. . . .

Whowww... maybe a hot introduction topic 

I have no problem with the tale... it is possible... i have know so situation... and when i read the very new trip report of Kuna, if he have wish, he was with several oportunity...

BUT dating or having sex is not like finding the right partner for the rest of your life... if you wish adventure in FSU, it is not a real problem... but marriage material for YOURSELF is not always easy... i think that the majority of guys here can find women for one night stand of short relationship BUT it is not our main goal... we seek a friend, a partner, the mother of our future children, a soulmate, etc... it is a other quest... Several of us can fµck everywhere, same with local girls... but if we seek everywhere on these earth, it is mainly because we WISH the best partner for ourself and HOPE to be the best partner for her...

Our friend here have no problem with dating... OK with this... but he ask "help" for find a partner... we can give him some advice, he can read already a lot here and learn... all this with the hope that he will find a WIFE and not only a sexual relation...

And maybe RW are not what you need... take a look at the other site ( Forum ) from DAN... planet-love is related to worldwide relationship... asian, FSU or latin...

The first job when you seek a wife is not dating but know what is needed in the future wife... make a list of request, a list of desired characteristic... only when you know what you wish, start your quest...

By trying every girls that you see, you loose your time... 24 month is 2 year... seem not a lot but when you are over 50 year, it seem crazy to use 2 year for date wrong women... when i say "wrong", i mean girls who is not marriage material... dating is fun but a day will come where dating will not more work ( cannot restore the damage of time )... use all your energy for find the right one... temptation of the hot bodies is great but you only loose your time...

[Bruno]

The old American adage was "a way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

It is not only American but Russian too 
Olga

Funny... one of my seduction weapon is the food... all FSU girls that i have know what seduce by my kitchen art... some FSU women was more in love with the food that i ready that myself 

[jb]

Hub,

Something I didn't get sorted out.  12 live in g/fs in 24 months; are you bragging or complaining?   

[Gator]

Hub,  Welcome!

I can believe part of your story because it happens every day between FSU women and their wealthier countrymen.  It is called sponsorship and is part of the Russian culture.  You admit to spending money on them, taking them and that is part of the game.  Although many women would never subject themselves to such a relationship, many do.  And there are other expats doing the same as you.

There are three key differences between FSU men and you:  

1.  The FSU man is frequently married and has an apartment on the side.
2.  The RW-RM relationships usually endure longer than a couple of months - the woman is essentially a mistress.  You OTOH allow these women to move in, and then you kick them out in two months.  This must make for some wild scenes knowing how spirited and proud these RW can be.
3,  You call these women "young", but compared to you they still could be young and over 30.  30 is the expiration date for kept RW in the "fast lane", so perhaps you are getting those RW in their second phase of being sponsored.  Or they indeed do

I would like to hear more: 
-  How do you extricate yourself in two months.  Do you move to another city?
-  Do these women have children?  Where are are the children during these affairs?
-  Their moving in seems to happen in a week.  This is too quick for anyone other than a desperate woman.  A good RW would want to build a relationship as in normal dating as opposed to coming over to cook some pemini and never leaving.

Some of this sounds like the reemergence of Albert, yet much of it could be true.