You guys never said it was going to be easy!Ahhhh… a day alone in Kiev. The temperature was -4 and I woke up a little late as a result of the adrenaline rush after Ms D’s departure and staying up late to document my thoughts.
Once I did get going I stepped outside and felt a wind that would rival Riga… but not quite.
Today I just wanted to “hang around”, have a walk, find a laugh, discover Gator’s coffee shop and generally get the vibe of Kiev as a foreign man alone in a big city.
As I set off across Independence Square the road just took me up towards the same bar that my guide and I went to on my first day. By the time I reached the bar I was cold so I thought I’d pop inside for a cleansing ale.
That small decision provided me with some cool little memories I’ll remember from this trip because I ended up sitting at the bar downstairs (right near the freezing cold front door by the way) chatting and swapping sign language with some of the staff.
Here’s an insight for anyone that’s not yet been to Kiev… The people here are really friendly!
I think if you show some respect to their city and country and you smile you can very easily strike up a fun conversation with most people.
We talked about nothing, but I learnt much.
I was a little surprised to see businessmen come in from the cold for a shot of vodka before heading back out to their next meeting and being a curious little Aussie I wanted to have a taste. Apparently it was “homemade vodka” which probably translates to “moonshine” but it was drinkable and came in two varieties. Lemon to kill the taste and Cranberry to kill the taste. Actually the lemon was the better option because the cranberry had no taste after adding the vodka!
OK OK, you caught me… I had 2 beers and two vodkas and was a little surprised when I was leaving to feel just a little inebriated. I can be a “2 bottles of red at lunch” boy if I have to be, so I’m not dramatically affected by booze, but that vodka definitely had a kick!
There were a couple of guys in suits sitting up the bar and I counted them having 3 vodkas each while I was there so I can only imagine they weren’t about to negotiate a big deal or anything…
I’m finding the constant tussle between Ukrainian and Russian souls in Kiev is something you have to be wary of because some people openly feel and proclaim to be Russian and some are very definitely Ukrainian.
On a few occasions now I’ve practiced the feeble amount of Russian I know with some people and they corrected me telling me I should speak Ukrainian. Sheeesh… I’d be happy to be able to say “Can you help me find the no risk way to marrying a Ukrainian woman” in any language!
I wonder what impact the emotional divide might have in future because it’s got a different feel to a Kiwi living in Australia or a Canadian living in the US.
I think the language differences are definitely a factor that keeps them separated.
Anyway… in the bar we had a nice chat and some laughs. The girl in the bar (sorry I don’t remember her name) was cute but not a prospect.
Is it unreasonably picky to say “too much hair”?
Of course I don’t expect every girl to be a prospect but there was a little flirting going on and that, in my mind, is ONE of the best ways to pass some time!
Something that I thought was funny was that she just couldn’t NOT look in the mirror whenever she walked past it. The mirror wasn’t directly in the bar but I could see her stopping in the hallway every time to check out her lipstick, eyes, makeup and hair.
Of course when you see a young woman do this you just have to tease her about it but her reaction was different to that you’d receive at home. Her English was only “ok” so most of our communication was by hand and facial gestures and after teasing her about the mirror she looked a little embarrassed but drew a circle around her face with her finger and said, “You like?”
Well indeedy-do I did like! (More the attitude than the physical stuff)
I had a little chat with the guy behind the bar about girls and asked why some Ukrainian women say bad things about Ukrainian men. Without knowing it he said something to really get me thinking…
“Ahhh, I do not know. Women always say bad things about men, maybe in Australia too.”
Well, aint that the truth.
I think that I’m seeing rvrwnds point from a recent discussion about “The Differences between AW and RW” but I still feel there’s something a bit deeper.
I agree that women are women all over the world. They’re driven by a need for security and safety. They desire the same things and react in similar ways but I’m also seeing a very big difference in the women I’m meeting too.
I think the difference is a willingness to accept the attention from men and feeling pleasure when they get attention.
Could it be as simple as that? Is that the reason we’re all besotted with RW?
Later I ventured back to the markets to stock up the fridge.
This time it was much easier but after reading Scott’s post about kalbasa I’m curious about what it is so maybe I can try to find it!
The only hitch was running out of local currency so after ordering some sliced ham I had to give the international hand signal for “I’m such an idiot and I ran out of cash so please wait while I run back out into the cold to change some cash.”
When I returned the old lady that was serving me was still standing in the same spot “protecting” the ham she’d already sliced… making me wonder how long she would have stood there? A small part of me wants to go back tomorrow and repeat the process but to see if I can stretch her patience to 30 minutes… no, let’s go for an hour!
Naah, I wouldn’t do it because I’ve got my shopping routine down pat now and I don’t want to have to start over again in another grocery store.
She’s the same lady I was doing the chicken dance with the other day and when I walked back into the store she looked a little angry, a little frustrated and a little pleased I was finally back.
Once I’d paid I spun on my heel and started out the door but looked back and blew her a big theatrical kiss. I’m not sure what the look was on her face (shock or amusement) so when she didn’t give any overt reaction I repeated the kiss and pulled a “your turn now face” at her. She laughed and gave a reciprocated kiss through the air but looked a little embarrassed, and more embarrassed when another women behind the counter laughed at her.
As I walked out the door I could hear the women cackling and speaking loudly and this alone made me feel very good.
Ahhh… that bloody hill on the way to the apartment!
I know it’s not like climbing Everest but climbing the hill to the apartment in the cold and fully laden down with groceries makes me want to find a market that’s uphill… I couldn’t do that though because I wouldn’t get my daily fix from the ladies at “my” grocery market.
Yesterday I received an email from a girl in Dnepropetrovsk that I wanted to meet prior to my trip but her emails have been sporadic. She wants to meet now but after swapping a few messages I don’t think it’ll be possible. It’s a shame because I’m VERY attracted to her (only physically) but then again we really haven’t exchanged enough ideas to know if there is any compatibility there anyway.
I’m starting to see the benefit of WMVM but with a twist by having ALMOST NO PLANS before arrival.
I think if I was doing a first trip with the benefit of hindsight I would arrange a meeting with a girl on Day 2 and leave the rest of my holiday open. That was I could meet girls on the ground and arrange for others to come to Kiev (if necessary) and spend 2 or 3 days with each.
I’m not unhappy with my approach and results thus far… it’s just getting a little complicated!
Complicated you ask?
Several fun emails have been exchanged with Ms D today and she said she wants to come back to Kiev to spend more time with me on the weekend. This is a very good sign I believe and if anything it’s too good too fast.
Let me explain…
Oh, but first… there are a few things I haven’t told you yet!
Firstly, when she arrived I was really touched when she gave me a gift. Not “just a gift” but she gave me a scarf “that was knitted with my own hands”. It’s really beautiful, not just the physical item but the look of pride and pleasure on her face when I first unwrapped it and whenever I wore it.
Next thing I haven’t mentioned… or maybe I have… but maybe not… OK, OK, I’ll get to it!
She’s had a few trips to Germany and spent 2 years there studying (German Language) so she’s fluent in German. While I’m no where near fluent in German I understand and speak much more of my father’s language than I do Russian.
If she was struggling with an English word she would substitute a German word and because she knew I wanted to pick up some Russian she would also speak Russian to me.
Some phrases became very confused because she was using Russian, English and German all in the one sentence.
We’d laugh because my face would go blank and she’d have to start over again, hopefully picking one language to use that wasn’t Russian.
Anyway, in her first email this morning she used the greeting “Hallo mein Leiber” which I knew was “Hello my Sweetheart” but when I used the online translation tool it gave me the answer “Hello my rather”.
It was a sweet email that confirmed her feelings from our few days together and expressed a wish to talk to my mother and family on the phone.
I know one big concern she has is being accepted if she was to move to another country because she had bad experiences when she was living in German. She told me the first year was terrible because she was away from her family and friends and had no one to rely on. What made it even worse was that she didn’t speak much or any German when she first arrived.
I explained that if it came to her moving to Australia she could rely on me and my family would be very accepting. When I mentioned my family being accepting she wanted to know more and then we went into a long conversation about why… and what we would do together as a family… and what my sisters would think… and how hard it would be for her to make friends.
It really impressed upon me the enormity of a girl picking up her life and relying totally on someone she’d only met a few times.
A message for all the married men in here:
Your wives have my deep respect!A message for blokes like me who want to marry a girl from FSU:
We’d better have our heads straight before bringing a girl home because there’s a huge responsibility attached to what we’re about to do!Anyway, Ms D’s emails today were sweet. She claims that our meeting “Was remarkable. Our walks, talks and evenings together were all remarkable”.
I received an email a little while ago and she wants to return to Kiev to spend a weekend with me and that’s where it gets difficult.
There were two outstanding girls I wanted to meet before coming here. Outstanding yes because they’re both attractive in my eyes but more because of the quality of the correspondence before I arrived.
The frequency, interest and expression in their messages stood out above all others.
When I say this I will mention that their English is not perfect but it’s not hard to see which girls are showing a genuine interest and are serious about the prospect of meeting (and maybe more) and which girls are perhaps only “curious”.
On Friday I am going to Cherkassy to meet the other “favourite girl” and to be honest she is the one I felt most empathy for prior to meeting Ms D. There’s still no guarantee what will happen with Ms Cherkassy but I’m anticipating a happy meeting and a good time.
If this does happen the problem will be choosing, and finding some way to tell one girl that there is no future.
I’ll cross that road when I get to it but again I find myself hoping for a failure with Ms C because it would result in less complication for me.
I can’t remember who it was but someone said something to the effect of “Man, you’re in for a whole world of pain if you hit it off with two girls… Watching you decide will be hilarious.... or something like that!
At the time I said that I could only make a decision based on who showed the most interest in me… but I don’t know if it’ll be that easy.
Anyway, there will be decisions ahead but we’ve got no way of knowing what will happen yet.
In her last email of the day Ms D put any doubt about her feelings and intentions out of my mind when she said she’d invited her friend Katya over tonight to taste the sweets her boyfriend brought from Australia.
She then said that she hoped I wasn’t uncomfortable that she calls me her boyfriend because she feels like there is a big future ahead.
This is nice… and scary! Scary because I would hate to hurt her in anyway because she’s a sweet, exciting, sexy girl who happens to be a really good person on the inside.
Anyway… I might shorten the time with Ms C no matter the outcome and arrange to have my last weekend in Kiev with Ms D. I have a feeling my final decision will be made on the plane home by working out who I’m thinking about more. I don’t know… but again, it’s too early to anticipate what’ll happen with Ms C!
OK… I called Ms D. She was very happy to hear my voice and said she’s been thinking about me all day. It’s very nice and I think very genuine.
Physically it’s good, mentally it’s good, emotionally it’s good… I’m waiting for the bad… there must be some bad doesn’t there?
I have little warning bells going off in my mind because I’ve heard so many horror stories in RWD and elsewhere that I wonder if meeting and clicking can be this easy? I’m seeing no red flags. Her excitement seems genuine and instantaneous (like on the phone just now) and there was a high level of comfort even when we were just sitting and talking in the apartment.
Oh, there is one thing… Boy oh boy can Ms D sleep! I’ve never seen anyone sleep like she does!
A question for the experienced men… Have your ladies been champion sleepers and do they sleep less in warm weather?
Anyway, that was my day in Kiev. I’m having an absolute ball and other than some concern over a final decision that may be necessary I’m just “going with the flow”.
I was going to visit Kiev Connections and meet some girls that way, I was also going to meet another girl someone was trying to introduce me to but I don’t feel that it’s necessary.
I would be very happy if I go home knowing I’ll be back to visit Ms D and meeting more wonderful women would only make my situation more complicated.
Oh, the beer… some good… some bad. Just like anywhere on earth huh!
