Overcoming the language barrier

[catzenmouse]

There are still some things I would need to know to have a clearer picture, such as Mark's age

From the posts we saw here I would be guessing about 14 or so but I may by pushing the age by 6 or 8 years...

I think Oksana's view of the story so far would be a little different.  It seems the vast majority of the lifestyle adjustments have been made by her, not all good, and that she is driven by something to make it work.  I truly hope it's love.

I'll bet it would be quite different.

Funny, while reading through this I kept waiting for OWW (doesn't that spell the sound you make when you stub your toe?) to post in Russian hating AM and insulting everyone. All the pieces were there. It had the "hit and run" style of posting, how questions were ignored but were asked in an accusatory manner, and how there was "instant attitude" from the very first post.

I suppose we should be happy that the time was taken to answer some questions but by then, for me anyway, my eyes had glazed over to his posts. It is unfortunate that some will hold on to a specific grudge and carry it with them throughout their lives letting it seep into each aspect of their soul.

Forgive me if this is nonsense, I'm still waking up.

BC,
 
 What the heck do you know about any of this? Just because you've been married for awhile and have a good relationship with your wife puts you right there in the middle of those "experts". You're probably just jealous...

Ken

[jb]

I guess there is some value in holding grudges, even after I stated publicly my surprise, and my salute, he still went after me.  I'm gratified to be on the forefront of MarkInTexas's mind for such a long time.  I am further gladdened that even though virtually every married man here came down on the same side of the fence, and said so in no uncertain terms, Mark still holds me somehow responsible for his wife's lack of assimilation. 

Scott's description of Mark's lifestyle was illuminating, I had no idea.

There are many questions I would ask, however considering the 'tude, I doubt it would shed much light.  Since we learned they married in Russia, I can reasonable surmise that Oksana has her GC by now.  The two return trips to Russia in 16 months are a good sign, I think.   If she didn't love him and wasn't dedicated to her marriage, I don't think she would have come back to Texas with him once she was safely at home in Russia.   I think we can safely assume Oksana is a reasonably happy adult in a marriage she finds rewarding, if not particularly stimulating.  If she ever achieves a Drivers License and become more independent, (a pretty good little car can be had for the price of one of those round trip tickets), she will have additional opportunities to find herself in her new homeland.   What I'm saying is that she is her own person and she's where she wants to be.   More power to them if they make it work, however to come onto the board and spout such nonsense just blows my mind.  I surely hope the rank newbie understands just how hard the last 18 months has to have been for this woman.

I wouldn't put my dog through that, much less a woman I loved.

[I/O]

Well, I dunno, might be well wide of the "mark", but I an starting to get images of a bit of "Jeff Foxworthy" material here.

I/O

[BC]

BC,
 
 What the heck do you know about any of this? Just because you've been married for awhile and have a good relationship with your wife puts you right there in the middle of those "experts". You're probably just jealous...

Ken

Ken,

Yeah real jealous for sure! 

One thing I notice with the vast majority of married guys that post here, they may post 'tough' but without pushing an 'agenda' as we see here and with a couple of 'odd' others.

I've also never seen them proclaim 'expert' status, but they sure seem to be quite expert at sniffing out something that just doesn't seem quite 'right'.

I guess it's along the lines of: 'Beware of those bearing a gift.' (in the fourth sense at dictionary.com)

[ScottinCrimea]

Since they hadn't been married for 2 years prior to her getting her visa, they will have to do an AOS from temporary legal resident to permanent legal resident at the two year mark or she is deportable.  They will need to begin the process about 3 months from now.  If her motivation is anything other than love, once she gets that her attitude might change.  But since she is without good English skills, friends, a job or a car, her options will still be pretty limited.

[supranatural]

I can add in something interesting.  My soon-to-be ex-wife and I still talk frequently (we are still friends) and she has stated that she wants to remarry.  She put in a very interesting stipuation - she wants her next husband to be Russian, and gave the reason that it would make communication much, much easier.  Although I would rate her English as fluent, she tells me that she sometimes felt that she was not getting her point across to me due to her lack of complete mastery of the language.  This is coming from someone who runs her own business where she communicates almost daily with new customers on the phone and in person.  And we were married 5 years - so to me 3 years is not enough time to judge success. 

As far as One Week Wonder's idea about compatibility and that we cannot truly know we are compatible regardless of how much time you spend together, I'd have to disagree.  I think with good communication you can at least get a good idea if you are reasonably compatible.  And more important, it is much easier to find out if you are *not* compatible and move on.

[catzenmouse]

I can add in something interesting.  My soon-to-be ex-wife and I still talk frequently (we are still friends) and she has stated that she wants to remarry.  She put in a very interesting stipuation - she wants her next husband to be Russian, and gave the reason that it would make communication much, much easier.  Although I would rate her English as fluent, she tells me that she sometimes felt that she was not getting her point across to me due to her lack of complete mastery of the language.  This is coming from someone who runs her own business where she communicates almost daily with new customers on the phone and in person.

 That is a very good point supranatural. Says a lot about how truly difficult it is to feel competent and comfortable in a new culture with a new language and goes along well with some of what Scott has written about living in Ukraine and the language issues he has faced

And we were married 5 years - so to me 3 years is not enough time to judge success.

 Elena and I have been married almost 2 1/2 years now and while I am very confident in our future together and feel that we have a very successful match it is still fairly early in our life together and I know that there are times where she still feels like a stranger in a strange land.

 If she decided tomorrow that she did not want to live here anymore and decided to go back to Russia I would still feel that we had a successful marriage for the time we had together. As far as being compared to a successful marriage for a lifetime then it would not be considered as such. Most would think that we have a successful start and only the next 3, 5, or 10 years will tell.

Ken

[Jack]

I could be wrong, but I don't think so.

It has been mentioned/written that this One Week Wonder is MarkinTexas.

Well his name might be, probably is Mark. And he may very well live in Texas, maybe even in Dallas. But this is NOT the MarkinTexas that I think jb is eluding to. 

[William3rd]

Communication, communication, communication. . . . . .

always the key to success

[jb]

But this is NOT the MarkinTexas that I think jb is eluding to.

Jack,  why would you say I'm "eluding" this guy?  I'm not trying to escape him at all.  Although I've been known to allude to facts, I'm equally sure it's the same guy, he sent me a PM.

[William3rd]

Perhaps he is alluding to something else-

The
Omnipotent
Weenie of
Wonder

surfaced last year about this time- sort of like bubonic plague- went through a manic phase of posting and insulting and then went into his depressive phase in the winter. Now he is back.

Claimed he was going to be posting a picture of him from the cover of muscle magazine.

Hmmm- maybe its the 'roids.

[jb]

I hope the irony was not lost considering the name of the thread.  Sometimes the language barrier is closer to home than we think.

[Jack]

jb, if your saying you know, and are sure it's the same old MarkinTexas from the Planet-Love days, then I am mistaken.

To me this is not the same MarkinTexas, the one who married a lady from Kherson. The only three things I see that are the same is the have the same first name, both were at one time in Texas and both decided to marry their wife with-in the first few days of meeting. Those are the ONLY things I see similiar. Writing style, not even close, this Mark has spent all his time in Russia, wife from Russia.  If this is the same MarkinTexas from the old Planet-Love board then this Mark is telling these guys a lot of stories that are not true about himself, wife, meeting, travel, etc.

I say it is NOT the same MiT but if you know that it is, then I apoligize for my mistake.

[BC]

jb,

3/1 on 'another' board MarkInTx announced his 5th anniversary, also mention having moved and signed: Mark (formerly In Texas)

Will pm you the link shortly.

Of course as my wife often says.. "Nobody knows.."

[William3rd]

Was the other mark a 'roid jockey?

If he works like he did last year, there will be a crest this week trailing off to nothing within a month or so.

[catzenmouse]

I hope the irony was not lost considering the name of the thread.  Sometimes the language barrier is closer to home than we think.

 Does anyone know of a good Texan --> English translation program? I'm having a lot of trouble understanding these posts from the Great Republic of Texas! 

Ken

[Sohkay]

I remember the MarkinTX from RWG who was a proponent of the classified ad method of meeting women. He met his wife through an ad he placed in a number of regional Ukrainian newspapers.

[BC]

Was the other mark a 'roid jockey?

If he works like he did last year, there will be a crest this week trailing off to nothing within a month or so.

Not that I can recall.. was a good time ago.. What I do remember of MarkInTx (same one Sohkay referred to) is that he was quite adamant about expressing the virtues of his wife, expounding in a very repetitive fashion.  When discussions came up about wives, one could foresee exactly what he would post.

[jb]

BC,

Thanks for the link,,, it appears there are two men named Mark who live(ed) in Texas,,, maybe so.  The PM I received gave me the strong impression it was one and the same person.   Whoever the guy is/was, who sent the PM sure has a few loose screws, and actually believes he has great debating skills.  MiT was dubbed the "One Week Wonder" over on the old RWG several years ago, that this guy could be a different man, and have the same name, *Mark*, live in the same area, and choose that screen name, the *One Week Wonder*, is beyond the limit of coincidence for my taste.

Of course no one ever told anything but the truth on an internet board,,, or did they?  Sometimes I just don't know what to believe.

[WmGO]

Agree with Jack that TOWW cannot be MarkinTexas from PL era. Everything is different -and MarkinTx was a very good writer. No can of worms opened please.......

[William3rd]

This person has 90 posts in archives. He did the same thing last year in May-trolling and insulting folk with several post referencing his superior "intellect"- during an apparent manic phase. That is where I found the reference to his being a poster boy for Muscle Magazine.

[WmGO]

I have occassional manic phase also - that is when I make a kooky humor post - thank God for the internet! Some people use the internet to vent anger, frustration, ego, various complexes and agendas....for me I make the occassional kooky humor post
wthout fear of people really knowing who I am and judging me a complete lunatic 

[tim 360]

The PL MarkinTexas had a much different writing style and 'tude and was much better at expressing himself than this MiTx .  I am sure this is a different dude altogether.   But dunno for sure  ???  Maybe his former writing/thinking skills have deterioated?

[Voyageur]

The MarkinTexas I remember from the old RWG days had a wife from Ukraine named Victoria and was originally from Pittsburgh.

OWW Seems like another guy to me.

[SANDRO43]

while his wife , my best friend did not spoke a word  at all , all she said was: I am shy to talk ......... the person who is going to have a translator degree hmhmhmh am coughing here hahaha

Jazzy, usually translators need not TALK much, rather they WRITE (you should have brought along a pad and pencil ).