Cultural Differences in Sexuality

[IAmZon]

Most men like to believe that they are the one; the only; the best.  Me too.

I understand the American perspective on fidelity; loyalty; and commitment in a relationship ... no problem.  I wonder, however, if there is a difference culturally. It seems that I have identified some.  Again, this may be a difference of age versus culture ... but I wonder?

I hope this thread remains very openminded and civil.

A couple of points that may begin to serve as definitions:
1, AW - 20 to 30 are more promiscuous open to chance encounters and one night stands (same with AM 20 - 30).
2, AW - 30 + are not very prone to random sex.  They need to know you first (AM too)
3, In serious relationships - certainly marriage - outside affairs are serious issues with serious ramifications.  If they occur, they are very secretive, and often pose grave consequences.

How does this differ in culture?

I have made miscalculations, and have surprised by the casual manner of sex in FSU ladies.  That does not mean "slutty", and it is NOT something you see from a distance, or on the surface. (That is something I would recognize in an instant).   This is something much less dramatic than that - hence the discussion. BTW, Much of what I have identified has only come from close friendships and discussions on history and perspective.

If I was to guess, I would guess the following:
1, FSU women are more committed and more pleasing to their man ... AND they may be more open to outside casual sex than AW -  "relaxed, no complications - sound familiar?".  That appears like a contradiction to the western man ... maybe it is, maybe it is not.

2, With FSU women, I sense the requirement to be a gentlemen always - a little formal, no fart jokes. (Some clarification:  I am only knowledgeable with 1, younger women 24 - 27; 2, beginning phase of relationship, 6 weeks - 3 months; 3, In an environment where the women have MANY choices)

Sexuality in the US is different.  It is hot and cold.  How many times have you been in the wedding party ... your standing up there with 6 - 8 buddies waiting fro the affair to begin ... and someone says ... whispers really ... PSST  "Hey, groom.  You know what tonight is?  the last night your gonna get a BJ for a loong time."   There is some truth to that is there not?

The singles scene have changed much from the 80s and 90s.  I use to be the one to push the promiscuity envelope.  Now, I am like WOOOOW ladies can I fit in here somewhere?  Where can this lead?

I am not interested in hearing stories where a man meets a women they fall in love and have a wonderful life together.  That is the goal.  That is understood.  I am interested in learning that things that are not so explicit and obvious.  I would like to gather whatever cultural differences that do exist and consider them.

(This is not the most logically cohesive post ... this is not a pointed question; but more an area of concern)

[Shadow]

As a European I already notice a distinct difference in issues of sexuality between the USA and Western Europe. The difference between Western Europe and the FSU is much less.

My personal views are conservative (which means rather liberal for US standards  ) and the only time is was caught out was when my fiancee told she could forgive a 'misstep' if there were circumstances.

On the subject on sexuality and affairs we can discuss a lot, but I am pretty sure that it will be impossible for most people to discuss this truly honest and open. After all I did not meet many men who admitted visiting a brothel openly, yet the business is flourishing.

[IAmZon]

Shadow wrote: "but I am pretty sure that it will be impossible for most people to discuss this truly honest and open. After all I did not meet many men who admitted visiting a brothel openly, yet the business is flourishing."

I hope members will be honest and courageous. This is meaty subject with blood.  It could provide important insight.  It could promote much understanding.

I will start ... I have visited a brothel:)

[Admin]

Shadow wrote: "but I am pretty sure that it will be impossible for most people to discuss this truly honest and open. After all I did not meet many men who admitted visiting a brothel openly, yet the business is flourishing."

I hope members will be honest and courageous. This is meaty subject with blood.  It could provide important insight.  It could promote much understanding.

I will start ... I have visited a brothel:)

This is a topic which will likely get a better, and more honest, response if committed to an anonymous poll - or series of them.

Just a thought.

It *is* a good topic.

- Dan

[Shadow]

Lets continue the discussion by a remark I received lately. A visitor to Russia switched on the TV at night and saw a porn movie broadcasted on an open (non-paid) channel. This was a surprise to him.
For me it is much less a surprise as the wave of these movies has already become much less. In Europe usually the rule is that from midnight to 04.00 AM anything is allowed and can be seen on open channel.

Another thing is the use of nudity and sex in movies. European movies have no inhibitions about showing all during a sex scene or showing 'functional nudity'. And this does not make them G-rated or X-rated, full nudity can be seen by people from 14 years old.

Not that it is always a good thing. One of the funniest things is a sketch of Benny Hill where guys are in a nudist camp, and do not notice the women there. But when a woman in miniskirt outside the camp bends over they all stare.  Sometimes fantasy is better.

[KenC]

Attitudes about sexuality are different in Russia than here in America for sure.  They do not seem to be hung up with the Puritanical American outlook.  Sexuality seems to be more accepted than here.  To me it is a more healthy or realistic outlook on human nature with less guilt forced from society.  RW seem to revel in their own sexuality, not fearful of being labled as a slut as would an AW.  I think this says more about our American society than it does Russian society.  I would guess that most European countries would be more like Russia than America.  Or more correctly, Russia has a European sexual outlook.

I also think that the sexuality presented by RW has much to do with their viewpoint on femininity in general.  They seem to love showing off their feminine traits where as AW seem to want to hide it, as if to be truly feminine is some kind of weakness.  RW are proud to be women and go out of their way to show it.  High heels, short skirts, peek a boo tops, perfect make up and hair are not the norm here, but it is in Russia.

In an attempt to fit in, my wife has seriously down played many of her natural Russian standards for dress over the last 8 years here.  Which is OK, because she creates enough of a stir with her own natural beauty.  But then again, when she "vamps" it up for a special night out, even I stare with my mouth agape!  Man oh man, those RW are hot!

To address the cultural differences with regard to promiscuity, I don't really think there is much of a difference between America and Russia.  You have your loose women here as well as there.  Anyone that doubts it only needs to visit or have some conversations with some of the college students here.  And it is not limited to only the young either.  I was single during my age of 41 to 46 and I can attest to the casualness of sex with AW in the age group of 30+.

The flip side of this is that there is also some RW that are much more conservative in their sexual experiences than is often portrayed here and on other forums.  My own wife had a very conservative history by anyone's standards and I have often joked about her having a Catholic up bringing.

Promiscuous or not, RW seem to have a different attitude toward sex than AW, especially with their husbands.  It is as though AW look at sex as a tool to manipulate their man or at the very least that sex is an obligation and a unwanted task that needs to be done, where as a RW takes great pride in being able to satisfy their man completely.
KenC

[SANDRO43]

After all I did not meet many men who admitted visiting a brothel openly, yet the business is flourishing.

In 1958 our Parliament turned into law a bill, presented by socialist she-Senator Merlini, outlawing brothels. I was 15 then, and admission was restricted to 18-year olds and upwards .

Debates reappear periodically about reopening them, red-light districts, etc. since the result of that law was dumping hookers (now mostly non-Italian) onto the streets, white-slave trade (Albanians were/are particularly active in this), and so on.   

[LEGAL]

  High heels, short skirts, peek a boo tops, perfect make up and hair are not the norm here, but it is in Russia.

KenC

I see it in Florida very often.

I have nothing against short skirts. But I think it is not sexy when a woman shows her underwear in public and when all people can see her "beauty" under her too short skirts. All of you know the phrase - " enigma of woman". I'm not a man but I think there is not any woman's enigma for man when she shows half of her naked a&&  and more than half of her naked body on street.

Olga.

[KenC]

I see it in Florida very often.

I have nothing against short skirts. But I think it is not sexy when a woman shows her underwear in public and when all people can see her "beauty" under her too short skirts. All of you know the phrase - " enigma of woman". I'm not a man but I think there is not any woman's enigma for man when she shows half of her naked a&&  and more than half of her naked body on street.

Olga.

Olga,
Of course it is all subjective opinion.  How much is too much is all a matter of personal taste.  I would think that being in Miami area would expose you to more of this than the rest of the "non-vacation" spots in the country.  Being a vacation destination and in a warm climate does skew things a bit.  Kind of like it would be in Vegas where it is warm, a vacation spot and even the city promotes naughtiness.
KenC

[LEGAL]

  How much is too much is all a matter of personal taste.  KenC

I agree with you. I think one of indications of cultured and educated person is a  moderateness.

Olga.

[LEGAL]

Woman, who is member of RWD, has said:

If you do not go into the lust then there will not be an opportunity for the love to appear.

A lust is a immoderation and  intemperance and, I think has nothing in common with sexuality, sensuality and of course with love.

Olga

[Gator]

There is only one way for you to get answers to your questions - go to the FSU and find out for yourself.  I will state upfront that the individual man and the relationship with his woman will have more of an influence than whether she came from Dallas or Volgagrad.

Any response from members here will be limited in value for several reasons such as the following.

1.   Very few men with FSU girlfriends and wives will provide anything specific. 
2.   While some such as Rock (Mr. Clean) may say something, we also saw him write that people should not take the Internet serious, making anything he says void of credibility.
3.   Most men have extensive experience with AW, yet very limited experience with FSUW.   I would not be surprised to learn that the median sample size for men who have traveled to the FSU is 1-2 women.  This is not enough experience to extrapolate anything.
4.   So if you ask a question in a poll such as “FSUW enjoy ________ more than AW, less than AW or the same?”, the response may not be indicative. 
5.   The only person who could and would answer your questions is Albert, yet he has vaporized after most everyone called him a sex tourist.  And I assert a man who is a sex tourist will not evoke the same responses from a FSUW as a man in an exclusive and loving relationship with the same woman.

So as not to disappoint you, and perhaps even awaken you curiosity, I will give you a couple of specific differences that I noted: 
1.          The FSUW I met were more serious than AW about sex being an expression of affection  (viz, were not as playful as many AW). 
2.           FSUW are more orgasmic naturally (without toys) than AW. 



About the oft mentioned FSUW openness to sexuality:  Who knows, it  may come from the small size of their apartments where everyone can hear everything.

So Rivardco, when are you going to the FSU to learn the answers to your questions?

[I/O]

Promiscuous or not, RW seem to have a different attitude toward sex than AW, especially with their husbands.  It is as though AW look at sex as a tool to manipulate their man or at the very least that sex is an obligation and a unwanted task that needs to be done, where as a RW takes great pride in being able to satisfy their man completely.
KenC

AND...........therefore gaining a real satisfaction hereself.  Thus by capitalising on her womanhood, she actually out guns the feminazis in her pursuit of sexual equality.  Kinda obvious really, but ........................it seems to slide over the head of too many. 

I/O

[Bruno]

A lust is a immoderation and  intemperance and, I think has nothing in common with sexuality, sensuality and of course with love.

Not so sure... the word "lust" was taken by english from the German language... In German, "lust" simply mean "desire" when translate in English.

The German "lust" ( desire in English ) have the following definition :
Desire can be thought of as a force acting between two people tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation.

So, i think that lust is something important in any relationship between man and woman...

For information, in old English ( Anglo-Saxon ), "lust" is translated in modern English by "desire" too...

It is Christianity who have give a bad connotation to these term since it was related to a inappropriately directed sexual desire ( non-procreative )!

So, the "Woman, who was member of RWD" was in some way right !!!

Edit : About sexuality and RW, Gator wrote :

The FSUW I met were more serious than AW about sex being an expression of affection

Again, my personal experience show the reverse... When i have ask to my ex-wife, at the end of our relation, why she was making love ( let say, having sex relation ) with me, she have reply : "you are my husband, it is my duty of wife".

After, the divorce, it have happen that we have again some sexual encounter... Same question, other reply : "Sexe is a need and i am now alone, so you are welcome"...

I think that FSU women are able to dissociate love and sex... love is more a mind relation and sex is only physical relation... one can happen without the other...

In any case, i think that sex can happen very fast, maybe in a few hours... several men will say that they are in love but they are wrong... love is build on a very long term, like a tree who need a lot of year for grow up from seed... when a couple become very old, sex can dissappear but love can always exist until the last day of life...

[LEGAL]

Bruno,

In my dictionary the word lustful is synonym of words lewd and lascivious.

In my previous post I consider lustful person as lewd person.

The woman in her post compare lust with a dirt.

A love is beauty, a lust is dirt. But a flower is also beauty and a ground is also dirt. If there is not the ground then there will not be an opportunity for the flower to grow. If you do not go into the lust then there will not be an opportunity for the love to appear.

Dirty love? 


Olga.

[Wayne B]

Hi Bruno, the word 'Lust' does mean desire in English.....but, in a sexual way Not in a way to desire someone mentally or who they really are inside...

[Jet]

Bruno,

In my dictionary the word lustful is synonym of words lewd and lascivious.

Olga.

Not picking on you, but your dictionary isn't completely right!
Lustful generally means - having strong sexual desires; (synonym = lecherous)
It occurs in the mind

lewd generally means - obscene or indecent, as in language or songs; (synonym = lascivious, salacious)
It is characterized by word or deed (which could incite or provoke lust)

lascivious generally means -Exciting sexual desires in others (synonym = lewd, salacious)
It is characterized by word or item (like lascivious photos)

[LEGAL]

Not so sure... the word "lust" was taken by english from the German language... In German, "lust" simply mean "desire" when translate in English.

The German "lust" ( desire in English ) have the following definition :
Desire can be thought of as a force acting between two people tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation.

So, i think that lust is something important in any relationship between man and woman...

For information, in old English ( Anglo-Saxon ), "lust" is translated in modern English by "desire" too...

It is Christianity who have give a bad connotation to these term since it was related to a inappropriately directed sexual desire ( non-procreative )!

So, the "Woman, who was member of RWD" was in some way right !!!

Some are able to control these lust factor and keep a clear mind when they have go in bed with a young sexy woman... but i think that these some are very few... sex is the weakness of man, gold digger and visa whore go use it without problem for obtain what they wish : a old rich foreign husband or a green card.

 

EDIT : In some way, several here are fool like i was before... they are ready to marry a woman they don't really know, they guided by lust but not the real love...

On these topic, it seem that all scammer are young sexy woman... have somebody pic of scammer over 35 year old ? If all scammer are young women, why us, the men, try to hunt in these categorie of age... again the lust who make us loose our mind...

During meeting, some peole are lead by the little brain... the lust brain and are not more able to think...

Bruno,

you say that lust makes us loos our mind... Why?  and you separate lust from love. Why we have to control our lust?

Bruno and Jet,

What is "whore" (tart). Is it a lustful woman or lewd woman or lascivious woman?

Olga.

[I/O]

Dunno which culture this one comes from, but they both look fairly happy about it all.  

I/O

[LEGAL]

Bruno and Jet,

What is a word for sexual dissoluteness?

Olga

[Bruno]

you say that lust makes us loos our mind... Why?

Very simple... men have a limited quantity of blood... when we are under the influence of lust, what is between our legs begin grow... this ask a lot of blood... body compensate by allowing lower quantity of blood to the brain and we are not more able to think clearly...

 

and you separate lust from love.

Yep... one can happen without the other...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romantic_love
Romantic love is a form of love that is often regarded as different from mere needs driven by sexual desire, or lust . Romantic love generally involves a mix of emotional and sexual desire, as opposed to Platonic love.

Platonic love is only love, lust is only sex, Romantic love is a mix of both...

Why we have to control our lust?

Why control it... it is something natural...

Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side-effects such as an increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.

Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the bonding which promotes relationships that last for many years, and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin than short-term relationships have.

What is "whore" (tart). Is it a lustful woman or lewd woman or lascivious woman?

A whore is a business woman...

[Mir]

In this last case, as I have explained, the thing in us that responds to the stimulus is the seen that comes with ripening years and strengthening limbs. For different things respond to different stimuli or provocations. The one stimulus that evokes human seed from the human body is a human form. As soon as this seed is dislodged from its resting place, it travels through every member of the body, concentrating at certain reservoirs in the lions, and promptly acts upon the generative organs. These organs are stimulated and swollen by the seed. Hence follows the will to eject it in the direction in which the tyrannical lust is tugging. The body makes for the source from which the mind is pierced by love. For the wounded normally fall in the direction of their wound: the blood spurts out towards the source of the blow; and the enemy who delivered it, if he is fighting at close quarters, is bespattered by the crimson stream. So, when a man is pierced by the shafts of Venus, whether they are launched by a lad with womanish limbs or a woman radiating love from her whole body, he strives towards the source of the wound and craves to be united with it and to transmit something of his own substance from body to body. His speechless yearning is a presentiment of bliss.
This then, is what we term Venus. This it the origin of the thing called love-that drop of Venus’ honey that first drips into out heart, to be followed by numbing heart-ach. Though the object of your love may be absent, images of it still haunt you and the beloved name chimes sweetly in your ears. If you find yourself thus passionately enamoured of an individual, you should keep well away from such images. Thrust from you anything that might feed your passion, and turn your mind elsewhere. Vent the seed of love upon other objects. By clinging to it you assure yourself the certainty of heart-sickness and pain. With nourishment the festering sore quickens and strengthens. Day by day the frenzy heightens and the grief deepens. Your only remedy is to lance the first wound with new incisions; to salve it, while it is still fresh, with promiscuous attachments; to guide the motions of your mind into some other channel.
(Lucretius 94-49 BC0

[Mir]

The English word whore, referring to (female) prostitutes, is taken from the Old English word hōra (from the Indo-European root kā meaning "desire")

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whore

[Wayne B]

Dunno which culture this one comes from, but they both look fairly happy about it all.  

I/O

I/O, I cannot understand how this could be Lucky Batage? For me...unlucky Bastard...the pain ooohhh the pain

[Wayne B]

I see this as true love for my future in 2045