An AW thoughts on me, AJ, KenC, Rvwind and some of you guys

[Son of Clyde]

Why is an American man considered a loser in his own country if he seeks a Russian bride?

I can give you some facts in my situation, I am shy in general especially with women but I had American girl friends. I earn a modest income but I am not rich.

I saw many AW for what they were, career minded feminists who only needed a man for bearing them children and would choose to go back to work immediately after the child is born and put the child in daycare. I really think a majority of AW do not really know their children and their children grow fonder of their nanny than their own parents. The most important years of a child's life are the first 4 or 5 years. They need parents. I became a latchkey child at 14 but mom had to work to support both of us after her divorce. In a Catholic family divorce was unheard of in 1964.

America is a nation of beauty and image, Don't believe a large majority of women here marry nice guys. if you believe this you are deluding yourself. AW may marry ugly guys who are millionaires and might leave them a truckload of money.

I am not as religious as I once was (I once considered becoming a priest) so I would think women of faith would think differently than the average AW. I chose not to go the route of seeking women in church groups.

Maybe I am all wrong but I think some of what I say is true. I am very bitter with certain groups of AW.

[Mamma D]

 

Well, she is one American women..... I am am another Old American women.....

AND I SAY ...... BULL!

No one speaks for all...or knows all....... Generalizations are dangerous.

Sure some relationships falter and some fail....But how many girl next door relationships fail?   

It is not from where a lady comes from....but how hard they work to make and keep things good!

Factors that are sometimes in place....
a failed marriage and lessons learned....
Rigidity , in culture, spiritual beliefs and other areas of life.
The ability to DISCUSS... an issue, without getting steamed!
Can you negotiate? Meet each othet half way.

Any and many more issues apply to men and women regardless of
of where they come from.

BRAG time!    The wonderful young man, Our daughter Irene brought us.....Has been accepted by seven universities! My choice is Stanford... but then I am a California gal! 

[Gator]

Hi Andrew,

FIRST, SOME FACTS

I found more current data about American women in the labor force:

• Women held half of all management, professional, and related occupations in 2004.
• Nearly 33 percent of women age 25 to 64 years held a college [university] degree in 2004, compared with about 11 percent in 1970.
• Among 2004 high school graduates, young women were more likely than young men to enroll in college [university] (72 percent versus 61 percent).
• From 1979 to 2004, women’s earnings as a percent of men’s increased by 18 percentage points, from 62 to 80 percent.
• Nearly 60 percent of women who worked at some time in calendar year 2003 worked full time and year round, compared with 41 percent in 1970.
• About 2.3 million women and 3.0 million men experienced job displacement between January 2001 and December 2003.

Source:  Women in the Labor Force: A Databook is available on the Internet at www.bls.gov/cps/wlfdatabook2005.htm.

You are correct – although advancements are being made, there is still a disparity between men’s and women’s earnings.  The data show that the gap is closing and continue to close considering the higher rate of university matriculation by women.   Unlike some posters, I will post reliable data even if it does not support my opinion.

NOW SOME SOFT INFORMATION

I spoke to two RW, who I know very well, and both said that men from America, Australia and Canada as a group are more compatible with RW than Western European men.  The reason is “equality”. 

The two said that European men expect their wives to work and to contribute an equal share of the income.  In contrast, men from America et al are seeking a more traditional role, with the woman staying home and taking care of children.  RW are not lazy and have nothing against work, yet do not wish to live in a situation where if they do not work they will not eat.  That is their current situation in Russia, so why move?

One mentioned that her friend speaks French and wishes to emigrate from Moscow to France.  She has been looking for three years without success.  She commented that several Frenchmen made her pay for half of the restaurant bill, and a few would not even buy her a museum ticket.  One did pay for an excursion around the Golden Ring, but she had to pay for her transportation.   RW are not that keen on equality if this is the final measure.  They much prefer to say, “Money is the man’s responsibility.”  And they for sure believe that women make better mothers.

I imagine that you will probably argue that a RW moving to Europe will be able to earn more money.  To which I say, I do not know but I doubt it.

[BillyB]

there is still a disparity between men’s and women’s earnings. 

 Have you read the link I provided earlier that shows estimated men's and women's earnings for all countries?
http://hdr.undp.org/hdr2006/statistics/documents/gdi2004.pdf

America being ranked #8 in the world out of a possible 177 in gender related equality is nothing to be ashamed about.

[Bruno]

The two said that European men expect their wives to work and to contribute an equal share of the income. 

Yep, the law say it... each partner in a couple need to contribute in the same proportion of income... but if the woman don't work, a part of nothing is nothing...

Why it is important to work? For a full access to our social security, here in Belgium, minimum one year of full time work is needed... Several women work a few year, make a child, stay some time home and work part or half time after... once 3 childs, numerous advantage make it more interesting to stay home... but same in these case, several women prefert continue to work... work is the main income in case of problem ( divorce, death of husband, etc ...)

RW are not lazy and have nothing against work, yet do not wish to live in a situation where if they do not work they will not eat.

I have see Europe and US... here, people who have no eat are mainly illegal immigrant... in US, if you are not lucky, alone without income, without medical insurance, without... you can be with everything or nothing in US... in Europe, you cannot have everything but everybody have a minimum...

For reference, my ex Russian wife have never work, and was never hungry...

She commented that several Frenchmen made her pay for half of the restaurant bill, and a few would not even buy her a museum ticket.  One did pay for an excursion around the Golden Ring, but she had to pay for her transportation.   RW are not that keen on equality if this is the final measure.  They much prefer to say, “Money is the man’s responsibility.”  And they for sure believe that women make better mothers.

And it is why, we, European are not so much victim of scammer... until no engagement exist, we are not responsible financially for any woman... only once engaged, it is our duty to support our fiancee/bride/wife/...

Maybe if some American will act a little like these Frenchmen, some will not more complain that the FSU ladies that they visit choice the more expensive restaurant of the city, that she buy the more expensive shoes from the shop, that she ask money for any reason...

You wrote "Money is the man’s responsibility"... wrong, change it by ... "Money is the fiancee/husband responsability"

I imagine that you will probably argue that a RW moving to Europe will be able to earn more money.  To which I say, I do not know but I doubt it.

No... for similar qualification, the net income is lower due to high taxe... but you have some social security for every body... money for child, medical care, minimum income if never work, a little more high income if you have already work, free education, etc... If you are the best in your job, choice America... you can maybe reach a very high level... or fully crash... If you wish security without risk, choice Europe...

[SANDRO43]

The two said that European men expect their wives to work and to contribute an equal share of the income.

Yep, the law say it... each partner in a couple need to contribute in the same proportion of income...

Our Family Law seems to be more flexible (deliberately so ?) on this issue:

Civil Code Art. 163
E. Support of the family
Both spouses will contribute to the due support of the family, each on the basis of his/her capacity.

And Frenchmen are notoriously stingy (any French around here ?).

[I/O]

And Frenchmen are notoriously stingy (any French around here ?).

Sandro:  Was that "Stingy" or "Stinky"?   

I/O

[ScottinCrimea]

Can we stop quoting the feminazis' distortion of the wage gap and look at the underlying reasons?  It has nothing to do about equal work for equal pay as they try to suggest.  Let's look at the conclusion of a study by the National Center for Policy analysis:

Conclusion. Women's work-life patterns and their occupational preferences are significant factors in determining wages. Rather than being funneled into low-wage, lowprestige and part-time positions, women often choose these occupations because of the flexibility they offer. After adjusting for these factors, scholars find that the difference between men's and women's earnings is very narrow. Those who still cite women's 76 cents for every male dollar as evidence of sexism fail to take into account the underlying role of
personal choice. The wage gap is not so much about employers discriminating against women as about women making discriminating choices in the labor market.

Here's the link to the article: www.ncpa.org/pub/ba/ba392

There are several studies that all debunk the wage gap myth and if anyone is still citing the 76% number without giving the underlying factors, their goal is to deceive or else they will believe anything that NOW throws at them.

[Son of Clyde]

I work for the government where women are truly created equal in the job market. If you look at the list of SSA Commissioners you will find many qualified women.

Mama D, I know I tend to generalize, but I see a new generation of US women. You belong to a generation of US women I truly admire. Family oriented women with a different value system.

[I/O]

BRAG time!    The wonderful young man, Our daughter Irene brought us.....Has been accepted by seven universities! My choice is Stanford... but then I am a California gal! 

Nice to see the young'uns doing well.  Push him all the way and he will thank you later.

I/O

[Bruno]

Our Family Law seems to be more flexible (deliberately so ?) on this issue:

Civil Code Art. 163
E. Support of the family
Both spouses will contribute to the due support of the family, each on the basis of his/her capacity.

Yep, something similar here... i need to find my previous marriage book... in these book, we have a copy of the marriage laws... speak about the right of chosing a living place, the right to work, etc...

[Rvrwind]

You Know...I been watching this thread & the spin it has taken from the original post. I don't know if I can bring it back & actually don't care if I do but I have had some thoughts & been doing some thinking in regards to this & here is what I have decided.
It really doesn't matter what anybody thinks of what we do or are doing here. The quest for a foreign bride. I say foreign because not everybody is seeking a RW, some are looking in other countries. Now I am generalizing here & although this is a Russian Women discussion forum I think to bring it all in to perspective we must include the entire, I hate to say it, MOB scene.
I think we here have to realize that although this article targeted us, I am quite sure there are probably articles out here targeting other groups that are seeking Latin Women or Oriental Women. So based on that we cannot take this as an attack at us but at the search for foreign women in general.
In that regard I have decided the following, some of you may agree, some may not, these are purely my thoughts & ideas.
I truly believe that everybody, male & female, tall, short, fat, thin, young or old, deserves love. We were put on this earth, some would say, for that very purpose, to love & be loved, be fruitfull & multiply. Nobody said we couldn't leave home to do it! Of course there are exceptions some will say but I say even a murderer is still loved by his Mother although the rest of society will hate him.
Even the woman who wrote this article deserves love & some day she may find it. I am thinking that the biggest reason so many people have a problem with what we are doing s jealousy. Not jealousy at having found that love & someone to love. No, the jealousy I am speaking of is the jealousy of those who have courage. Those who step up & realize their dreams & their goals while those around them pee their panties in the face of the unknown.
The world has changed dramatically over the past 30 years, I know I watched it.   In some areas it changed for the better, in others it changed for the worse. But in everyway, it got smaller! We started to realize, (when I say 'we' here I mean us in this adventure) that we weren't tied down to our own neighborhood or our own town anymore. Our neighbourhood had grown exponentially & we if we wished to be a part of it we had to grow with it, many others chose not to & therefore were left behind & now are jealous of the courage we showed in moving forward & growing with the world around us rather than being trampled by it.
Most times when I read articles like this I look only at the surface & take it for face value but this time I decided to dig some & look for a common denominator among all articles I have read on this subject.
Although on the surface most of these articles try to portray us as losers who can't find love at home, I truly think they are missing the point. I have found, not all, but a good percentage of the men in this pursuit to be of greater intelligence than those I have met that chose to stick it out back home. They are for the most part better educated, maybe not school wise but street smart, most are go getters that when they set their mind to something they do it! But the most common denominator I have found among all those I have met personally in this pursuit is that they tend to use common sense! Something that is sorely lacking in the general populace as well as in government circles.
Our common sense tells us that we are not alone in this world & that we can go forth & discover that without fear of retribution. That we can discover new places & new people to expand our knowledge of the world & its people. We go into to the unknown like the first explorers seeking something that is greater than ourselves. For those of us who succeed the rewards are many & great & we give hope to those who follow us. Like the first pioneers, we blazed the trail it is up to those who come after to follow it or not.
The people who write these articles are not jealous that we have found love & someone to love us for surely they also realize that everyone deserves by right of birth to be loved. They are jealous of our courage & the inspiration that courage instills in others.
When Christopher Columbus first sailed for the Americas everyone thought he was crazy & would fall off the edge of the earth!! When he returned successful & unharmed & was greatly rewarded, others admired him for his courage to do what they could not but at the same time were jealous of the fact that he had that courage & they did not!
Just a few thoughts floating around in my empty head. :selfharm:

[TigerPaws]

I believe that Rvrwind makes some very good points, in addition to jealously I am sure at some point many AW are afraid they will be left behind, that American men who search for a bride over seas have been removed from the pool of available men. Additionally at some level these same male bashing AW may realize that their feminist attitudes are at the root of their problem with finding or keeping an AM.

TigerPaws
Aboard SeaQuest OE
Anchored at Georgetown, Bahamas

[Maxx2]

  That was very well said Richard. You have summed up what I believe true of many in this process.


Maxx

[mspanky]

A lot of men travel abroad for the economic advantage. As someone mentioned previously, Donald Trump is expected to land a beautiful women because he has a financial advantage over other men in the U.S.. But question is, we do have a financial advantage over other men abroad. But as soon as the women gets here, that advantage is gone. Probably why some women get dissapointed when reality of what life in the U.S. with new "rich" American husband is really like.

[Maxx2]

But as soon as the women gets here, that advantage is gone. Probably why some women get disappointed when reality of what life in the U.S. with new "rich" American husband is really like.

For some of them they see the advantages they now have with their "exotic" beauty. The attention they get from other men, maybe much more if they are marginally beautiful in comparison to other FSU women, could go to their heads. If they married men they didn't love or have strong feelings for and they are a bit mercenary then these guys better watch out. 


Maxx

[KenC]

A lot of men travel abroad for the economic advantage. As someone mentioned previously, Donald Trump is expected to land a beautiful women because he has a financial advantage over other men in the U.S.. But question is, we do have a financial advantage over other men abroad. But as soon as the women gets here, that advantage is gone. Probably why some women get dissapointed when reality of what life in the U.S. with new "rich" American husband is really like.

mspanky,
That is why you had better have more going for you than just a finaincial advantage over RM!  It is one thing to bring over a Russan beauty, quite another thing to keep her.
KenC

[mspanky]

mspanky,
That is why you had better have more going for you than just a finaincial advantage over RM!  It is one thing to bring over a Russan beauty, quite another thing to keep her.
KenC

 Ken, I agree. Unfortunately from what I've seen in my travels all over, it seems there are few men who have that "extra something" which will keep these beautiful  women when they get to the U.S. 

 Probably why guys are always asking which country has the highest ratio of women to men. Thinking there will be less competition for the beauties.They are hoping to go somewhere where the women are desperate for a man and overlook shortcomings.. Not fully understanding as soon as they get her here, her desperate days are over and you better measure up to the competition around you.A ring on her finger never stops a beautiful dissatisfied woman from looking. Especially when chances are she will be approached often.

[groovlstk]

Yesterday one of my wife's classmates, a Lithuanian woman who married an American man and has been living in the US for three months, told her that she's planning to trade up because her hubby has changed since she arrived in the US. By "change," she explained that he buys her fewer gifts than when they were courting.

I can't judge whether this guy has that "extra something" or not but the deck was loaded against him from the start because - like so many others - he was foolish enough to marry someone who didn't love him.

[swindoom]

he was foolish enough to marry someone who didn't love him.

She could be an oscar quality actress.

[ScottinCrimea]

If anyone is foolish enough to marry someone who they need to have money to keep, then they deserve what they get.

[KenC]

Yesterday one of my wife's classmates, a Lithuanian woman who married an American man and has been living in the US for three months, told her that she's planning to trade up because her hubby has changed since she arrived in the US. By "change," she explained that he buys her fewer gifts than when they were courting.

I can't judge whether this guy has that "extra something" or not but the deck was loaded against him from the start because - like so many others - he was foolish enough to marry someone who didn't love him.

Groovistk,
Unfortunately, I have seen many a case where a fsuW has used an AM for her mule only to trade up once she arrived and got her papers in order.  It is as though they think "this guy is good enough to get me to America and I could stand him for a couple of years until...."  How the men cannot see that they are being used is beyond me.  The only thing I can think is that they are in denial and just hope that some how the woman will fall in love with them over time.  Or maybe that the men are just so inexperienced with women in general that they are happy with whatever they get? (And for how ever long they can get it?)
KenC

[Gator]

he was foolish enough to marry someone who didn't love him.

She could be an oscar quality actress.

It was not acting.  She probably did nothing more than smile and pretend that sex was great.   He did the rest. 

He fell in lust.   And he felt rejuvenated after perhaps a difficult divorce and a series of rejections.  Life became grand once again.   He does not ask, “What is wrong with this picture of me with her?”  Instead he says, “It is true what the agency told me!  All a RW wants is a nice man, and I am a nice guy.”  As KenC said, he denied everything telling him "no" (and probably multiple red flags). 

He did it to himself.  She went along for the ride.

Thus, she did not do enough genuine acting required for an Oscar.  For what she did (smile and pretend that sex is great), the only award she could win is one from this organization:  http://www.avnawards.com/history.php

It is possible to go way out of your league, looks-wise.  I have seen that in high school and later in life with couples very happy with each other, yet miles apart in looks.  They have fun together, are compatible in so many ways, and feed off of each other.  The same is possible between an average man and a beautiful RW, yet how can one be sure in a short amount of time, complicated by differences in language and culture, and with potentially questionable motivations?   

[KenC]

It was not acting.  She probably did nothing more than smile and pretend that sex was great.   He did the rest. 

He fell in lust.   And he felt rejuvenated after perhaps a difficult divorce and a series of rejections.  Life became grand once again.   He does not ask, “What is wrong with this picture of me with her?”  Instead he says, “It is true what the agency told me!  All a RW wants is a nice man, and I am a nice guy.”  As KenC said, he denied everything telling him "no" (and probably multiple red flags). 

He did it to himself.  She went along for the ride.

Thus, she did not do enough genuine acting required for an Oscar.  For what she did (smile and pretend that sex is great), the only award she could win is one from this organization:  http://www.avnawards.com/history.php

It is possible to go way out of your league, looks-wise.  I have seen that in high school and later in life with couples very happy with each other, yet miles apart in looks.  They have fun together, are compatible in so many ways, and feed off of each other.  The same is possible between an average man and a beautiful RW, yet how can one be sure in a short amount of time, complicated by differences in language and culture, and with potentially questionable motivations?   

Gator,
You know, as I said up thread, I have witnessed more than a few cases where a RW had used an AM as a mule to get her GC, but in every case, there was no great discrepency in ages or looks.  Maybe it is just my experience, but the couples never appeared to be bad matches at all on the surface.  None were a case where a common looking guy was reaching for a beauty queen or an older guy was sporting a young chick.  What did run through these examples as a common thread however was in every case, the guy was somewhat inexperienced and naive when it came to women and relationships with women.  It may indeed be that inexperience that did them all in.
KenC

[BC]

What did run through these examples as a common thread however was in every case, the guy was somewhat inexperienced and naive when it came to women and relationships with women.  It may indeed be that inexperience that did them all in.

Probably the largest target market MOB firms seek.. sad but true IMHO