a good woman, just not a 10

[Jet]

That's the biggest load of crap out there .
They give you 2-3  marches a month , string you along ,  rip of artist .
they should be exposed  for the  shiit they are

Maybe there just aren't that many people out there that like your personality type

[Jet]

Why does she not look for a local man?

Agreed, but that wouldn't serve Clyde's wife's needs now would it?

[El Rock]

Maybe there just aren't that many people out there that like your personality type

I'll bet you are right
 

[Elen]

Elen, Olga, Jazzy

It would be easier, it seems, for Son of Clyde's women to find a local man, someone from her city. 

He probably would be in her age range so all this criticism about being ignored by older American men is not relevant.  He would also speak her language. 

Why does she not look for a local man?

Because males are the same all round the world and what you call "criticism" is applied to Russian/Ukrainian  males as well
 International dating just brings additional problems ( althoug it could give additinal chances)  but the main reason such women stay alone remains the same - For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 70 there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22 year old waitress.

[Jazzyclassy]

Dear Garot I told the same she should find a guy in Russia

cos  mostly foreign men are in search of a young stuff no matter how strongly they  all try to deny it , they seem to prove my theory all the time here

my quote

   I think this woman should try and search her man in Russia .... why not           

yours

      Why does she not look for a local man?           

Learning  some things about international marriages I found  out it is absolutely not for everybody , but really when there is love you can do anything for this person  and of course it is much more easier to compromise and to maybe change for the better when you are young , oh of course am not trying to say that old people never change for the better of course they do , but they will have to put much more efforts to do that cos of their experience of some life views, old prejudice , labels, as people already told here to change stable personality , but they do change and they do love , of course maybe not as crazy as  young people can love , as Gator mentioned.

Maybe for this particular woman , friend of SoF is really better to search for a local guy cos it seems to me she is a little passive , I feel that cos she turned herself  to her friends that means she is not sure in herself  so she wants some support from her friends, she is not confident in her wishes and her abilities maybe , cos she knows that her friend is married to an american guy and so she thinks that this guy can just sort it out for her , find some of his friend and bring them together, that is difficult to fulfil really.

[Kuna]

I've been getting tired of hearing RW telling us over the past couple of days that western men are only looking for young girls!

There's been a number of men that have pointed to their "appropriately aged" wives but that makes no difference.  Personally my age gap with my girl is only 10 years which is a hell of a lot better than the 16 - 19 year age gaps I was experiencing last year.

These comments drone on and one like a tired worn out record and I just wish the women that are sprouting this rubbish would admit they are not right ALL OF THE TIME, and grow up a little.  (Growing up has nothing to do with age.. it has to do with maturity).

If you don't like the concept of men and women having an age gap of any sort then I suggest you ensure your own relationships are ones without an age gap but please give us a break.

Sheeesh... If you're this perturbed by other things in your life and react in similar ways you're going to find it pretty hard to find someone that will tolerate you for long.

Can we let it go now so we can go back to chasing young girls? 

Thank you!

Kuna

[Elen]

However tired you would be about this issue it would not change a simple FACT - women over 40 have little chances ( MUCH little than younger girls)  to find a husband abroad EVEN if average ages of foreigner seekers are "some" far from 40 . ( PS I remind you that this particular thread is about 40+ woman And as far as I got it the "last word" of majority males was - better she would stay home )

[Kuna]

However tired you would be about this issue it would not change a simple FACT - women over 40 have little chances ( MUCH little than younger girls)  to find a husband abroad EVEN if average ages of foreigner seakers are "some" far from 40

I just DON'T agree!

If you were living in my shoes and seeing all of the men that I know who are 40 - 50 years old and are tired of the same old rubbish by the same women around them you too might start to think there is a possibility for 40+ yr old women in FSU.

Why?  Because most of these men either haven't considered finding a wonderful women in FSU and if they have they probably have heard all the horror stories.

It either takes a very brave or a very stupid man in his 50's to pursue a relationship with a girl 20+years younger than him.  the brave ones are the ones that end up with successful long term relationships and the stupid ones end up divorced pretty quickly!

Now of course.. the 40+ year old woman in FSU needs to be an attractive partner in various ways but I can guarantee you that a woman wo is loving, caring and faithful... even if she has a few extra pounds and a bad haircut will be more attractive to some men than a fat angry and opinionated women that reminds a man of his ex-wife.

It WILL require a different approach.  Not EVERYONE will find a husband this way... BUT it is possible... 

I know men in Australia right now aged 45 - 55 (I'll be meeting up with a few of them in the next 2 hours) who want a long term committed relationship but continue to date dysfuncitonal divas at home. If they went to FSU they would not be interested in young women because they don't want to have children again and they KNOW that most women under 35 want children if they don't already have them.

In fact here's a similar example.  A good friend of mine (38 yr old) found out early in the year his wife was cheating on him while he was working his butt off to pay for the huge house SHE always wanted.  They have one child and as much as it has hurt him he has ended the marriage and moved out.  We were talking the other day and he said he eventually wants to marry again but he wouldn't date anyone younger than 35 because he doesn't want more children and he would rather find a woman that already has kids. 

This is not so uncommon in the west!

The challenge will be to find the right men that are not fooled by the propaganda and who are serious about a relationship... and for the lady to be attractive to such men.

I'm often annoyed when I heard the constant fantasising by some in RWD about how secy this woman is or how hot that one is.  In reality a genuine man is looking for someone more rounded than one who is just hot and sexy. Those that drool over the body of a woman are probably those that don't date successfully at home and they'd make poor partners anyway.

Serious western men don't ONLY want young women... they want exciting, fulfilling and happy relationships based on a solid emnotional foundation and some men only believe that's available with someone of an appropriate age.

Agreed?  Good!  I'm glad.   

Kuna

[Jazzyclassy]

       Serious western men don't ONLY want young women... they want exciting, fulfilling and happy relationships based on a solid emnotional foundation and some men only believe that's available with someone of an appropriate age.

                   

Darling Kuna am sorry for this familiarity where are these men you are pointing out , show me at least one who is single and would be perfect for this Lady , friend of SoF?

Where? I can not see them. JB ,ScottinCrimea , KenC , Gator they are all occupied and even Gator told that she has little chances abroad

how would you explain that? a?

[Kuna]

Darling Kuna am sorry for this familiarity where are these men you are pointing out , show me at least one who is single and would be perfect for this Lady , friend of SoF?

Where? I can not see them. JB ,ScottinCrimea , KenC , Gator they are all occupied and even Gator told that she has little chances abroad

how would you explain that? a?

My Dear Jazzy,   

If you read my post earlier in this thread you'll see that I said I think it's unlikely that a Russian Dating site will reap the desired results for a 40+ lady from the FSU.  Why?  Because the Russian dating sites (or many of them) are deceptive and are scamming men into believe they deserve some young sexy RW just because they are from the west.

We all know the reality is that a man must be worthy to marry a worthy woman AND they must be VERY lucky to find an honest woman who's much younger and wants to be with them.

I would suggest SoC considers some adverts aimed at men in his area who are not yet corrupted by the RW Marriage sales pitches.  This man must truly desire a long term and fulfilling relationship and there's LOTS of them in the west.

I know someon earlier said that most western men could afford this pursuit.  I find it hard to believe the members of RWD are the only ones blessed with enough income and budgeting skills to be able to undertake this journey.

Kuna

[Elen]

I just DON'T agree!

If you were living in my shoes and seeing all of the men that I know who are 40 - 50 years old and are tired of the same old rubbish by the same women around them you too might start to think there is a possibility for 40+ yr old women in FSU.

 You see I DO live in exactly those women's shoes whose chances you describe such fine

And even I'm not seeking for anybody I was told not for once ( and without me ASKING to give any idea about my faith at all)  that I was OLD babushka ( it happened at THIS particular board such often that I had to change my profile here in order to satisfy my admires) , that I would not be wanted by anyone because women 40+ who were born in USSR had damaged psyche ( there IS such an opinion among foreigner fiances as well) , that I would be too OLD for dating because I can't give birth any more.

All above would be understandable IF it was not be told by males who were in 60+  

( ah yeah I was told that I was not slim enough by some my "friend" who himself was FAAAAR from slim thing    and who used to post his "right"  ideas i topic "personality vs looks" )

 So that I think SUCH posts ( when males have no need to be "polite" ) give out more about what really are there on males' minds than all those endless talks that ages don;t matter and etc ( carried by those who happened "accidentally" to chose for themselves women YOUNGER and MUCH younger )

[Elen]

I know men in Australia right now aged 45 - 55 (I'll be meeting up with a few of them in the next 2 hours) who want a long term committed relationship but continue to date dysfuncitonal divas at home. If they went to FSU they would not be interested in young women because they don't want to have children again and they KNOW that most women under 35 want children if they don't already have them.

Something tells    me that IF they came to FSU women 40+ would not be their choice as well Because there is an ocean women under 35 who have already children and who don;t want to have more ( if that's criteria for such males in chosing a partner of course)

Anyway we are talking about chances of FSU 40+ women They are little at both scene - at foreigner dating one and back at home 

 As for dating scene INSIDE foreigner country where males supposely are not spoiled by " better opportunities" they would get at FSU dating scene (to my mind it does not make those males too much different to those who are represented at FSU dating scene, it's just a matter of opportunities they have but not their "belive")   then chances to get there for women from FSU are little as well - now  if only to pick up some 60-90 years old young in heart  mule 

What do you think about such variant  if there are NO other real chances to marry for 40+ women

[Jazzyclassy]

     I would suggest SoC considers some adverts aimed at men in his area who are not yet corrupted by the RW Marriage sales pitches.  This man must truly desire a long term and fulfilling relationship and there's LOTS of them in the west.

         

I agree with this

     And even I'm not seeking for anybody I was told not for once ( and without me ASKING to give any idea about my faith at all)  that I was OLD babushka ( it happened at THIS particular board such often that I had to change my profile here in order to satisfy my admires) , that I would not be wanted by anyone because women 40+ who were born in USSR had damaged psyche ( there IS such an opinion among foreigner fiances as well) , that I would be too OLD for dating because I can't give birth any more.

   

But I also agree with this  and that shows real attitude of men to russian women who are 40+, so when I am old I will be totally useless to anyone
 

Oh well then I will have tons of cats and dogs which will eat me when I die , not that I want such life ending but who knows...........

[Jet]

Elen,
I see what you're saying and you are probably right, but I've also spoken to a number of Russian women here who are saying that when they were in Russia looking for Russian man, possibilities dried up by age of 30 or sooner. My wife has told me it was no problem to have dates, even invitation to become "mistress", but even at young age of 27 with 1 child there was virtually *zero* chance she would find a decent man willing to marry in her area. She was certain she would be single woman for the rest of her life before we met. So maybe the AM targeting RW 30-40 are ignoring thousands of wonderful older women, but is it really any worse than attitudes of Russian men?

In my case it's irrelevant because I'm already married and have not met my wife through usual methods discussed here, but if I had specifically searched FSU for a bride I certainly would not have excluded older women, as nearly all the women I dated in the US prior to meeting Liliya were 3-10 years older than me. I don't expect  I'll change the minds of all the other AM though, either...

[Elen]

Your wife is right And I didn't say anything that Russian males were "better"

 My point is that American males are not so much different to Russian ones Different may be only in few years but anyway 40+ women are behinde that "dead line" * males ( including Amercan ones as well)   used to estimate for women whatever they tell there about "ages don't matter"

 ( * rather "dead age difference" though because 60+ Americans males are not such against to marry 40 y.o women, But as ages do matter then not such many 40+ women wish to marry them)


As for you personaly then sorry boy we have saying here    если БЫ да каБЫ, то во рту росли Б грибы The same is applied to ALL married boys here.

Fact is you just didn't do that and telling what you WOULD do is not fact at all.

[Jet]

  если БЫ да каБЫ, то во рту росли Б грибы The same applied to ALL married boys here.

Fact is you just didn't and telling what you WOULD do is not fact at all.

LMAO 
I did preface it with "In my case it's irrelevant..."

[Elen]

preface does not matter because saying is about part of your post where there was that WOULD of yours ( analog russian БЫ)

[Son of Clyde]

I am wondering if there are any statistics relating to RW (living in Eastern Europe) age, married or single, number of times married, age at first marriage, number of children, education, English language skills, height and weight. These would be the factors AM might be looking at.

[Gator]

Jet wrote,

This is true in America and Russia.  I found 40-yo women to reject me more for my age than 30-yo RW.  The 40-yo were not desperate and more honest.   

I've also spoken to a number of Russian women here who are saying that when they were in Russia looking for Russian man, possibilities dried up by age of 30 or sooner.

My ex-fiancee told me the same.  She used as evidence the internet dating sites in Russian language, claiming most RM in their 30s and 40s would write “up to 30” as age of women they prefer. 

To consider a woman old at 30, or even 40 or 50, is ridiculous. Why is that?

Social culture in America, primarily because of advertising and entertainment celebrities, has made us focus on how a woman looks. It has led to some problems such as a significant percentage of eating disorders in women.  Nevertheless, women at 40 are not considered old.  Some may be fat and bitchy, but they are not considered old. 

In Russia,  it seems worse (or better, dependent upon one's perspective).  For sure, RW place an even higher self-value on how they look than do AW.  Russia until recent years has not had the advertisement industry to blame for this sentiment.  So I suppose other factors are at work.  I do not know them and can only guess examples such as:  it is a man’s world, women accept being sex objects, divorce is too easy on the man, a desire to emulate Hollywood, etc. 

Was it this way in Russia in Soviet days?  Or is this a new phenomenon?  Just how true is this; I know of cases where RM in their 30s and 40s, with money are dating RW of the same age group.

In any event, there are plenty of RW in their 40s who defy this sentiment.  They do not consider themselves old, take pride in their looks as well as their life, and are delightful in many ways.  If they have trouble finding acceptable RM, then good for me and other men like me.  It sure did make JB and others here very happy men.

[Lily]

Jet wrote,

My ex-fiancee told me the same.  She used as evidence the internet dating sites in Russian language, claiming most RM in their 30s and 40s would write “up to 30” as age of women they prefer. 

To consider a woman old at 30, or even 40 or 50, is ridiculous. Why is that?

Social culture in America, primarily because of advertising and entertainment celebrities, has made us focus on how a woman looks. It has led to some problems such as a significant percentage of eating disorders in women.  Nevertheless, women at 40 are not considered old.  Some may be fat and bitchy, but they are not considered old. 

In Russia,  it seems worse (or better, dependent upon one's perspective).  For sure, RW place an even higher self-value on how they look than do AW.  Russia until recent years has not had the advertisement industry to blame for this sentiment.  So I suppose other factors are at work.  I do not know them and can only guess examples such as:  it is a man’s world, women accept being sex objects, divorce is too easy on the man, a desire to emulate Hollywood, etc. 

Was it this way in Russia in Soviet days?  Or is this a new phenomenon?  Just how true is this; I know of cases where RM in their 30s and 40s, with money are dating RW of the same age group.

 

I think this phenomenon is even older than the Soviet Russia and probably is a sort of Russian national feature.

As far as I know, the woman age group of 18-25 is deemed to be eligible for dating in Russia. At her 25-30, a woman is somewhat at risk in the dating scene, but may still be eligible depending on her qualities. That is only a general tendency in society; of course it depends on individuality a lot.

The influencing factors could probably be bad ecology, hard life conditions, poor medical assistance that made many women look tired and worn them out early, so that their beauty could thrive for only a short time in Russia than it would be in more comfortable living conditions.

IMO Russia has different standards about a person's age than the Western countries. Generally, the harder is life in a society, the more valuable is the young age. Russia is an elitist society, it used to create all sorts of so called 'elite' things. In terms of beauty, probably youth could be considered another elite group that has to be hard to break into. Therefore, by pointing at the woman' s older age, the society tries to tell her like 'you belong to some lower class, step away, this is not for you, you outta there'. Russian society does not approve challengers.

This, on its turn, could lead to another Russian phenomenon - a unique perception of age appropriateness. People try to convince themselves that as soon as they are above their 25 yrs of life that they are already old, and can not do some things that they think are for young people only. Therefore, people start to trap themselves. They just don't allow themselves many good things only because they seem to be not quite age appropriate.

 

[Elen]

Again I don;t see what was described in previous post like only Russian phenomena - different is only in few ages and pointing at older ages of women in 40s ( like it "happens" constantly with Americans and like statistic of dating those very Americans in FSU showes ) is no better than to do that with women on 30s  like it happens in Russia

[BC]

Lily,

I recognize much of what you say in my wife who just turned 30.  She takes great pride that she was able to build a solid family unit regardless of the means it took her to get there. 

Maybe a bit of the different 'west vs east' thought has a bit to do with 'perceived' life expectancy.. At 30 I was still 'young' but at the same age she considers herself getting old..

I say 'perceived' life expectancy because on average in the west the advanced ages we somehow manage to achieve are not necessarily quality years..  Maybe a little bit of eastern reality vs western optimism is in this mix somewhere..

[WmGO]

Kuna, good very appropriate age difference.

Elen, you are right, it isn't fair. It is isn't right. It isn't rational.
But that is the way it is. My heart goes out to all the beautiful  40+ FSUW out there. They deserve better.

Jazzy, you have a nice sense of humor re: cats to eat you when you die...that is too funny!

On a different note, I am not so sure that the FSU age difference thing goes back farther than the aftermath of the Great Patriotic War when there were so many women for each man and the men took advantage of it with much younger wives (not to mention mistresses on the side). Some time later after the population rebalanced itself large age gaps  shrank back to the norm, whatever that was....I think the collapse of the Soviet Union and the resulting economic problems just reignited  the tendency toward larger age gaps within the society because men once again could "get away" with it ....this is somewhat of a conclusion based on known facts but also a little conjecture/theory....I would defer to FSU academics on this .....

[Lily]

 At 30 I was still 'young' but at the same age she considers herself getting old..
 

Russian standards for women used to be stricter than those for men, that's why she thinks this way, I guess. By saying this, you wife probably just shows a sort of Russian self-criticism

[Elen]

"Different" betwen western and eastern attitude about this issue  depends to my mind not only to "WWII" but mostly on economical dependence women from males : more chances for independence for women in that sphere -> less cases when women low their standarts and marry much older males - > less opportunities for old males to claim "ages don;t matter" in their chasing young girls  -> more chances for those males to get more realistic idea about their own ages and be not such "cruel" to women's ages.

As for idea that's soviet era phenomena then girls were actually "sold" in Russia into not equal marriages for centuries So society where rich males could buy a poor young girls just could not have another attitude to "older" women