a good woman, just not a 10

[Son of Clyde]

It can also go the other way. There must be guys out there who never considered RW, never heard of RWD, never considered a marriage site, are willing to meet someone from Eastern Europe because they never considered looking outside the US and it seems interesting to them. This is rare but not impossible.

Sorry for the run on sentence.

[Kuna]

SoC,

This is a good and interesting thread and I've got to repeat that famous line we read in here from time to time... "Aim for the starts because if you aim for cow paddies you might just hit one".

I think your wife (and the lady) need to be realistic but that doesn't mean they should just give up.  It's really a marketing problem and the most important thing is finding the right demographic to aim at.

I would agree with the other posters that say her chances of success on a Russian Dating site are next to none because those already looking to FSU would have been "corrupted" by the agency hype.

Have a think about those around you that would appreciate her.  What are they like? If they were single what would they want? What will she bring to a marriage?  Who would make her happy and who would be thrilled to have her by his side.  Once you understand those things you can think about ways to attract the right men.

US dating sites (free or not) would be a great way to contact those that haven't searched FSU sites yet.  Also think about some adverts in your local paper and be honest in your ads.

"Happily married couple have a wonderful friend searching for love. She's 40 years old, 5'X", XX lbs, exotic, feminine, attentive and seeking life long commitment. If you want to know more mail us at matchmakingourfriend@hotmail.com."

There's no need to mention Russian YET and scare off the less adventurous ones before they have time to digest the possibilities.

You'll have to work on the wording carefully but a few things ARE important... you don't have to say why you're placing the ad but an appropriately named email address can tell a part of that story.  If you place ads all you want is to get some initial enquiries.

When you get some responses be straight... but more straight this time.

Tell them your story... You men your wife X years ago and fell madly in love with her.  She is loving, caring, family minded and she makes you feel like a king.  You've found the relationship you always thought was possible and you don't believe anyone has to be lonely if they have love to share.

Our friend is also from Russia and deserves a good man because she has similar wonderful qualities.  Tell them a little about her and what she's looking for. Tell them she doesn't speak good English but your wife and you really want to help her so you're helping her out with some basic English classes (You'd do this for her wouldn't you?). Tell them what she doesn't want (Big drinker, etc) to qualify out the losers (let's face it.. there's lots of losers out there) and finish the letter off reminding them that love comes in the most unexpected ways sometimes. If they would like to know more you'll be happy to talk to the on the phone.. meet for a coffee or put them in touch.  Wish them all the best and wish them all the best wait to see which men have the guts to continue the discusson.

You may spend $50 on classified ads and take some time setting up the dating sites but it won't hurt to make the pitch.  The worst that could happen is that she doesn't get married.  The best???  Well we know what the best outcome would be.

SoC, I'm not saying my ideas would work but I am saying if your wifes friend is genuine and would make a good wife potential mates deserve to know about her.  Think about it... if you were single sitting at home tired of dating sites and the obese arrogant women you've been meeting for the past 2 or 3 years wouldn't you be interested in something that looks like a fresh start?  I know I would.

If you'd like to discuss this in more detail or want some help with the planning PM me.. I'd be more than happy to help.  Sheeesh...  if you think about it this could be your part time business you've been looking for!  (Then again you Americans have got some crazy laws related to love and dating...)

It's not going to hurt and you might just get to attend a wedding on a future trip back to FSU.

Anyway... just my optimistic outlook on life!

Kuna

[Gator]

Larry,

I suggest that you demonstrate something to your wife.  Go to the following Angelica affiliate and search on 46-47 yo women who were listed in the past 18 months.

http://www.russian-women.net/engine.shtml

What is interesting is that each profile states how many times the address of a woman has been purchased.  You will see some good looking women, yet their addresses have been ordered only 1, 2, 3, 4 times.  Very few are more than that.  And since only 1 out of 10 men ever make the trip…..dismal outlook.

I met the following woman.  She is a doctor, speaks English, slender, will consider men up to 65… She has two highly intelligent children (one met Putin because of his academic achievements.  She would make a delightful wife for men in late 50s and 60s, probably far more attractive than they could land in the USA.  Yet, her address has been ordered only 8 times. 

http://www.russian-women.net/ladies/ou4222.shtml

Now look at the average women. How many times have their addresses been ordered?  ZERO.

Yes, your wife’s friend would fail in finding a husband via the  Russian agency route.

So you and your wife need to consider solutions outside the box such as what Kuna suggested.  This will take work, so if your wife is willing, it is possible. 

[viking]

Gator

Yes, that is an attractive woman, her age being irrelevant. As for me, I am happily talking to a 45YO who I met for the second time only a few weeks ago and look forward to seeing her again in a few months. Maybe, just maybe, it will be my last trip. For some reason, I find the company of a more mature woman to be more engaging in terms of personality, charm, experience, and other areas more cerebral oriented.

[Zhena]

The woman which you described has a chance! But there are some musts have:
-excellent english
-very rich inner world and interesting personality
-affectionate
-generous
If she has all that qualities,she has a chance to find a not bad man at all,whos interested in the woman of his age. I know a couple such the women. Tehy are the real Women.

[mspanky]

Kuna,

 I agree with you 100%. Putting her pics up on an American website where guys are just looking for love and have not thought about a foreign wife would be her best move. Out of all the guys who reply to her,she will have at least 1 willing to travel to see her after he has invested some time with her. Most of the "regular" guys on websites aren't searching for women who are much younger than they are. hey are usually more realistic.

 Jazzy, not all AM are into much younger women. Most couples in the U.S.A are of similar age. 30% of couples are actually older woman/younger man.

[CaptB]

IF i were in the market now........the women would be of age 40+ (I'm 55). Over the years I have tried to help a dozen RW, or so, in trying to find a partner. These women were friends of the women I was dating at the time..........and friends, relatives of my wife. Some 6 or 7...........some even 10's.......in appearence. All with a good education, great personality etc.
I had hopes back on the RWG years ago to have a separate forum so current members could list friends and relatives from the FSU. I think the site ownership thought maybe (my guess) that it might compete with agencies advertising on the site. I still think this is a great idea. If the forum really did take off...........the site ownership could even charge a token amount (dare I say........"profit") to access contact info. For guys looking to minimize the "scam" factor..........what could be better. Obviously there would be something for all.....20 somethings and up.......but "real" folks.......who are friends and relatives of board members.

My wife is realistic about this process. She would like to find a match for her sister who is about 37........and one of the most naturally gifted artists I have ever met (in all mediums)......with a seven year old gifted daughter. My wife tells her friends to study English (if they aspire to relocate in an English speaking country). Her friend who is close to 40 (with a teenage daughter) followed her advice......and found a guy who lives about 6 hours (by car) from us......in Appleton, WI. When my wife and I lived in the Up (of Michigan).........we even met him in Appleton.......to check him out for her They are now happily married.......so with a little help.......it "can" happen.

The "non-foreign" (in country) websites mentioned are a good idea......"but"......the guys there are not geared-up for the "costs" of foreign dating.

Dan,

This new forum idea......could even be money-maker for you. I am aware of some of the problems involved......but there are also simple fixes.......and certain restrictions that could be implemented. Just a thought.


Capt B

[Jazzyclassy]

     Jazzy, not all AM are into much younger women. Most couples in the U.S.A are of similar age. 30% of couples are actually older woman/younger man.            

Oh  really,I never told all, but  many of them , even this message board in this particular forum proved that , only Viking , JB and some few other guys are with approximately their age women  and the others? what about the others  , sure they will start this never "ending song" about oh we never chased young girls they came and captured us themselves, yeah like I was born yesterday:P I can hardly believe this......

All you talk about here is how low and miserable her chances are

So that proves one more time that men are searching for young girls and no matter which nationality. Though they pray on Russian generosity , wonderful hospitality, perfect housekeeping and so on and kind hearted women of Russia, praise Russian girls telling that there is no other women in the world who are so amazing......... , but if they have like19 y.o . Asian or some African or Latin America girls on the horizon  they would happily run after them,


you want to try and tell me that it is not true?

[Kuna]

Oh  really,I never told all, but  many of them , even this message board in this particular forum proved that , only Viking , JB and some few other guys are with approximately their age women  and the others? what about the others  , sure they will start this never "ending song" about oh we never chased young girls they came and captured us themselves, yeah like I was born yesterday:P I can hardly believe this......

All you talk about here is how low and miserable her chances are

So that proves one more time that men are searching for young girls and no matter which nationality. Though they pray on Russian generosity , wonderful hospitality, perfect housekeeping and so on and kind hearted women of Russia, praise Russian girls telling that there is no other women in the world who are so amazing......... , but if they have like19 y.o . Asian or some African or Latin America girls on the horizon  they would happily run after them,


you want to try and tell me that it is not true?

Jazzy... you make me laugh!  Classic Jazzy post here!!!

I'll tell you it's not true.  I am 38 and My Girl is 10 years younger.  I would have dated an old woman (maybe even a 30 year old) but my heart was stolen from the first day I met Ms D.

OK.. OK... I'll be serious.  My acceptble age range was 28 - 32. I'm 38. I don't have children at the moment and I definitely want children so going much older than 32 would add risks once you consider the "getting to know you" and "immigration" phases. I was thinking 32 + 1 year to get to know each other + 1 year for immigration + time to live as a couple before children are introduced and she may be 35 or more before we start having children...

It's true that many men want younger girls when they go to FSU and if that's their preference (and they can develop a successful relationship) then good on them. Most men marrying girls 20 years younger would NEVER have a chance with such an age gap at home.  There are others that simply wouldn't marry a very young girl and sometimes it's because they've dated them at home and already know the pitfalls.

At home it's MUCH more likely to find an age gap of 5 years or less simply because most men can't chase, catch and keep girls much younger than them. There's even a trend in the west where older women are now marrying much younger men.  Of course many of these relationships fail just like those when the girl is much younger.

All a woman needs is a man that appreciates her and respects her.  All a man needs is regular sex and good food.  Oops...  I shouldn't be so frivolous (even if it's true for some).

You might be surprised when you finally immigrate than many men simply don't want women much younger than them... It upsets their existing lifestyles too much.  I'd suggest Russian woman of 40 years old should be looking for men from 45 - 60 years old. If he already has children he probably won't want more and most young girls will eventually want children.  many men don't want this... They've had their children and they now want lifelong partners.

Anyway...  thanks for the chuckle!  I might be totally wrong but I think many men in the wes that have never considered looking to Russia for a bride would be very happy with a 40 year old lady.

Oh, English is very important though.

Kuna

[Elen]

  I'd suggest Russian woman of 40 years old should be looking for men from 45 - 60 years old. If he already has children he probably won't want more and most young girls will eventually want children.  many men don't want this... They've had their children and they now want lifelong partners.

Kuna

60  yeah indeed why should not she look for such boys ... ages don't matter after all .... for her  So why would not wide that up to 90  Sure she could get respect and appreciating from such guys as well and that;s all she needs doesn't she 

( I will not do any more such a "mistake" to offer you males to imagine yourself in your 40s with a women in her 60s in order to escape to be called idiot one more time in my attempt to make you think for one minute that women could have the same or very close to your own wishes and needs in relationship)

[Kuna]

60  yeah indeed why should not she look for such boys ... ages don't matter after all .... for her  So why would not wide that up to 90  Sure she could get respect and appreciating from such guys as well and that;s all she needs doesn't she 

( I will not do any more such a "mistake" to offer you males to imagine yourself in your 40s with a women in her 60s in order to escape to be called idiot one more time in my attempt to make you think for one minute that women could have the same or very close to your own wishes and needs in relationship)

Elen,

If a 40 year old Russian woman could for a 90 year old man with a heart condition I'd say she should GO FOR IT!

A 40 year old man is hardly likely to be interested in a 60 year old woman though because he might still want children...

I don't see anything wrong with a 15 year age gap for a 40 year... oops... I just read back my post...  My math was wrong. 

I meant to say at 40 she should be looking for 45 - 55 but we're all a little flexible on age aren't we?  Still, if she'd be happy with a 60 year old man that treats her with respect and admiration I see nothing wrong with it. 

Who knows... there might be some western men who want an older Russian Woman...  stranger things have happened!

Kuna

[Elen]

Males' viewpoint -nothing more ( and leave in a peace that excuse with children - it's applied to only PART of males and reasons why 40y.o males don't look in a direction of women even their own ages are in something else ( called something like  "shallow"  if I'm right with my English here  )

PS One more time. To see what "wrong" could be in your offer you should drop your presumption that women are SUCH different to males in their wishing ( and deserving ) a partner closed to own ages

PSS The woman in a question is 47 years old So....  she should ( now  MUST)   be flexible and be happy with 67 y. o. young in heart fiance Right? 

[Jazzyclassy]

    You might be surprised when you finally immigrate than many men simply don't want women much younger than them... It upsets their existing lifestyles too much.  I'd suggest Russian woman of 40 years old should be looking for men from 45 - 60 years old. If he already has children he probably won't want more and most young girls will eventually want children.  many men don't want this... They've had their children and they now want lifelong partners.

                  

Sure dear Kuna  I want to be surprised so much  I need to set my soul at ease really:)))

  There's even a trend in the west where older women are now marrying much younger men.  Of course many of these relationships fail just like those when the girl is much younger.
    

sad to hear that they fail really , women do not have such privilege like men have, oh well that is life:)

I never meant to touch any kinda topic about age gap , I think we rapped this topic so much if I may put it this way that we need tea break really ,
plus my opinion wont change anything in this life and in this society , corrupted by money sex alcohol fame, drugs, envy , jealousy and young girls with old guys , that is unfortunately such period of our Life circle , I hope so so very much that  in my next life I will be a monk or something like that  who will live in some monastery and wont be able to see all those corruption and low sex chakra interests , money and stupid philosophy which they try to put into people's heads, like we are all parrots screaming and repeating after one Commander.......
just I wanted to hear encouraging things from guys here about that Woman , that nothing is lost for her, she still can find good man and a man of her age possibly , oh why not there is a story of a woman with 2  adult daughters and she met via LL an american  guy of her age and he came to visit her in Moscow  and after 2 visits  he married her took her 18 y.o girl with them and  then 22 y.o daughter after some time went  to live with them too and they are still so nice and happy.  I know this story cos my sister was working together with that 22 y.o girl and I remember her myself cos she was at my sister's wedding and we were standing close so I talked with her and things . Also my sister was telling me that her mom was not like super beautiful or so, just real normal woman of her 50-s and with little knowledge of english language, and her 18 y.o daughter did not  know english very fluently but now I heard the news that this daughter married american young guy and lives in the other state and is so happy , when in Moscow  they all just thought she would never find a guy ...... so  you see
nothing can be prejudiced in this life

I am sure this woman will find some nice guy if not foreign man the  lover of hot young chicks, then maybe it would be some russian guy why not

[Jazzyclassy]

Oh yes adding things to that story the man whom this woman met via LL was like 55 -56 not older than her being like 49-50

[Makkin]

Miss Jazzy,

  You sure are writing up a storm these days..lol Wishing you the best in all things.

Makkin

[I/O]

that excuse with children - it's applied to only PART of males and reasons why 40y.o males don't look in a direction of women even their own ages are in something else ( called something like  "shallow" 

Men limiting the age of their partner because they want children is "Shallow"? Now THAT is a seriously ridiculous comment.  I wonder what is shallow about wanting children?

I/O

[Jazzyclassy]

Miss Jazzy,

  You sure are writing up a storm these days..lol Wishing you the best in all things.

Makkin

Oh dear Makkin it is never storm:) it is normal reaction very calm sweet amazing and kind one I think:)))))

All the best to you too and great success with your woman  from Czeh Republic:)


I do not know what to think about these international marriages now, where is the truth in here? young girls +old guys according to your thoughts = happiness and long amazing life,
 when old+old  according to your thinking = miserable existence of one of the partner among this couple ,
young + young , according to your thinking = absolutely frivolous and not serious , and usually ends up really quickly ,
young  guys + old women , that is absolute nonsense according to someone's  thinking oh  people can even call the guy as some gigolo, when  the case with young girls is untouchable    .......... well I guess people are all confused with their own statements

 :noidea:

[Globetrotter]

Well, I'm mid 50's and squeeze is mid 40's, she's not a 10 either, but one of the best people I've ever met.  Still getting to know each other after 1.5 years, not engaged, and trying to see if we will become best friends.  If so, we might pull the trigger next year.  I'll go again at the end of the month and she'll either come home with me for a visit or come a week or 2 later.  I don't think I'm so rare, more like realistic, and I looked over there as I  looked over here.  I never had kids, she's never been married, and we may adopt one or 2.

When she was here the first time and met my brother and his new wife (both 48) she commented that it would be impossible for women that age to find a husband in Russia.  So........I guess that leaves overseas guys who think like me, or JB or a few others.

She could probably lose 10 or 15 pounds, but I don't care.  She's just one of the nicest, smartest, most loving, sexy, responsive girls I've ever met.  I can't imaging going for a young hottie (our very own Turbodude comes to mind) as I want someone I can keep up with, share the same generation, values, and the next 20 or 30 years.  Little hotties are like chocolate...nice, sweet, but you can't live on it.

FSU 40-50 yr old women are the best kept secret there is, and I knew early on I didn't need to look any farther.

If you want to help your friend, it's a numbers game...so get her out there.  And as others have said, English is essential.  

And............the British SAS motto is..."He who dares, wins."

  

[Lily]

SoC,
if I'd be a good friend or sister for this woman in question, I'd advise her 3 things:

1) get the most out of her appearance,
2) get the most out of her appearance,
3) initiate contacts with men on international (non-Russia related) dating sites.

and to be prepared for failure anyway. Who said life is fair?
All provided her fluent English, of course.

No matter for her to look at any sites promoting Russian women. The beauty bar for Russian women used to be set unusually high, therefore the men searching for a FSU woman are very very picky. Because they can.

I also agree with those who suggest to look in Europe. It's my opinion as well that the European men are more ready to compromise when it goes about the age issue. Experience showed that I have been right.

[Elen]

Men limiting the age of their partner because they want children is "Shallow"? Now THAT is a seriously ridiculous comment.  I wonder what is shallow about wanting children?
I/O

I said that those who spoke about a wish to have children like a reason of seaking for much younger woman composed only a PART ( and little one from my experience) vs those who had not such  wish at all.  Much bigger part of males population does that because of absolutely another reason wich I called shallow ( also there is such an reality like a "middle age crisis" of males) But SUCH reasons are never mentioned by males

PS and also for me personaly to hear how some 60+ boy tells about a wish to have a child like a reason  of seaking woman under 35 is ridiculous  ( there ARE such males in thse busines as well And there are enough of them)

[Elen]

SoC,
if I'd be a good friend or sister for this woman in question, I'd advise her 3 things:

1) get the most out of her appearance,
2) get the most out of her appearance,
3) initiate contacts with men on international (non-Russia related) dating sites.

 What does "get the most out of her appearance " mean?  ( some special pluggins in Photoshop or what  ? )

[Son of Clyde]

Here is a switch. My friend, an American male was born in 1953.
His wife was born in 1937.
They have been happily married since 1984.
I guess she is a cradle robber.

[Lily]

What does "get the most out of her appearance " mean?  ( some special pluggins in Photoshop or what  ? )

No Elen, it was my intention to say it twice. I meant that the woman who is going to compete on the dating market should work on her appearance and to make herself as attractive and interesting as possible. It seems to be of paramount importance.

By appearance I mean everything that appears out of her That would include not only body, face, hair, clothing, but also her demeanor, posture, manners, voice, conversation. She may still not make it to a 10, but a thourogh work on herself would definitely upgrade any woman in the looks department.

[Daveman]

What does "get the most out of her appearance " mean?  ( some special pluggins in Photoshop or what  ? )

That's simply hilarious.. 

I think the pluggin is available for both men and women.  Some of us need a double (or more) run of that action. 

BC: Not pessimistic... just realistic.  You're absolutely correct. I think I was being more of a cheerleader, and my "advice" would have led the woman to failure, either by not meeting anyone, or by her "grasping" at her only options.   


Kuna: Most excellent ideas.  I think you are absolutely on track with the "thinking outside the box" approach.  I do think that the cost will be a shock for those not looking specifically for an FSU lady, but I do think that can be overcome because, as we know, a man will move mountains to be with his woman.  I think she can meet several men in ways you have suggested who would be willing to cover the expense to be with a great woman. 

Gator:  Man, it's an eye opening slap in the face to see those statistics, but the reality *MUST* be taken into account.  Wishful thinking won't make it happen.  While that's only one site, I do think the statistics would be similar across an array of agencies.

Jazzy: I understand what you are saying. I absolutely hate to think of anyone not having a chance to find her (or his) dream.  There will always be scoffers who claim something is impossible. That's true with any dream.  The point here is that she can't simply have the dream.  Dreaming isn't enough. She has to be realistic, and take the approach and action which will actually give her that dream.  I absolutely believe she can do it.  First thought, she must do something different, like others have suggested.  As Gator points out with statistics, most women in this age group are failing to find someone using the 'common' method. If she's joins their ranks, she will probably fail too.

Following the same path of those who fail leads to that exact same destination.  I want her to win this game and find happiness.  There is also some very good realistic advice in this thread.  She first must make herself as desirable as she possibly can - appearance, language skills, etc., and then she must come up with a different plan of attack and be willing to alter that plan, try different strategies, new ideas, be willing to hear others tell her "you can't do it", but continue to take action anyway.

I absolutely believe this lady *can* find her dream but she will need to take a different approach than most of the others otherwise she will be just like them... alone.

Dave

[Gator]

Elen,

If your point is that many men like younger women, then I will agree with you completely.  

More critical questions are:

-   What else does the man want in his wife?

-   Will marriage bring her fulfillment and happiness?

In some cases you will find shallow men who seek little more than youth and beauty.  Other men will demand more and will not accept a younger woman without certain added qualities, regardless of her beauty.  

Some men will stand in the way of his wife’s happiness.  Other men will guide her, assist her and do whatever else it takes to help her achieve what she wants in life.   And believe it or not Elen, some women are happy is such marriages even if you tell them they are unhappy.

Elen, you criticize older men who chase younger women.  Do you also criticize the young RW who choose such a man?   Today young RW have many choices, to include young men.