Lily invited me ...

[Muj]

Daveman,

Certainly at least some FSU women understand budgeting by living in the west however most never experience the concept.  Many mistrust banks as past bank failures have eliminated life savings and retirements.  Ever notice the many homeless elderly?
On the women's forums you can find many perceptions, some you may upset you're delicate ideals, but learn to face facts .
You seem somewhat impatient and narrow in learning other points of view, not a wise attribute.  Thankyou for your vast depth of knowledge Daveman.  Stayed a year on your single visit to the FSU ?

[DKMM]

I found my E was fascinated to learn all about stocks and investing.  Retirement investing instead of just relying on a pension is the American way as opposed to the European way of pensions.

She also was in complete shock about how much we pay in taxes and how much we pay in mortgage (those two alone take over 60% of my income).

I think some here are painting with some broad strokes.  Perhaps the type of girl that would marry a much older man is expecting a financial windfall.  I doubt a girl into a young dude like me is expecting much right away... hopefully she knows i'm smart and the payoff comes later. 

[Daveman]

Muj wrote:
Certainly at least some FSU women understand budgeting by living in the west however most never experience the concept.  Many mistrust banks as past bank failures have eliminated life savings and retirements.  Ever notice the many homeless elderly?

Well yeah, I do have a decent grasp of their financial timidity and I saw many elderly selling nuts, or holding cups. I couldn't say whether actually homeless or not but very possible.

But please explain to me how this following statement and the others like it can be misconstrued: "spend as much of his money as you can" - and, that even current wives follow this advice

What does that have to do with merely 'teaching them budgeting'? Sounds more like one would be enamored with the fantasy of converting schit into roses.  Why not take the time find a rose in the first place? The search may take longer but definitely time well spent.  Of course a rose has some thorns, but thorns won't kill you. A bad woman will.

I stated that women who won't try to bleed you dry do exist and that I've met them, and, that those women who exhibit traits similar to those in the quotes should be avoided. 

On the women's forums you can find many perceptions, some you may upset you're delicate ideals, but learn to face facts

What facts are those which I should learn to face? Spell it out with small words, Muj, because you're talking way over my ability to comprehend here.

You seem somewhat impatient and narrow in learning other points of view, not a wise attribute.  Thankyou for your vast depth of knowledge Daveman.  Stayed a year on your single visit to the FSU ?

Other points of view? really, wanting to take a man for all she can is not a nefarious nature to be avoided, but simply "another point of view"? The stench of fresh crap fades with time, but it's still crap through and through.

You seek whatever type of woman you wish to be with. Hey, more power to you and best of luck. I'll stick with the type I prefer and we'll both be happy. Pretty simple really.

Dave

[wxman]

In the end it's really a matter of communication. The best way to do that is to show her the bills. My fiancee asks many questions about the cost of living in the US. So on one of my visits, I brought my 1040 tax form and a typical month's worth of bills including car payment, mortgage, natural gas, electricity, phone, cable TV, grocery, gas, retirement, etc. It didn't take her long to do the math. A picture says a thousand words. I would not reccommend doing that without first talking about it though. It would poor decision to just show up with the bills without first giving her a heads up and talking about it before arriving. 

[IAmZon]

I tried not to ... but this topic deserves the attention of the good RW here.  For me, and for everyone else:)  Me especially...

Lilly wrote

"This is really an essay question. Just let me be very short and show 2 main big issues:

- RM are not available for commitment, and
- RM are less attractive than WM."

She says this would take an essay to fully explain.  Well how about a thread?

I have heard first hand from several RW lately that there are not fair numbers of men to women?!?!?  I thought this was just agency BS?!?

I have seen conflicting reports about the general nature of the RM. "They make good boy friends .. bad husbands."  Generalization s are always difficult. But there is something peculiar here:  there are extreme opinions expressed.

So, please ladies try to shine some light on an issue that is only dimly understood.  Why is it that AM are more desirable than RW? 

[jb]

rivardco,

You really need to go to Russia and meet some RM and form your own opinion.  RM are not the ogres you think they are.

Those of us who are married to RW understand why RM drink, I think you are in for a lesson.

[macman]

HOLD on here.  You've made quite a statement.

Those of us who are married to RW understand why RM drink, I think you are in for a lesson.

Not something that we "unmarried" folks would take lightly.  Besides, AW can cause you to think, drink and sink. . .

Whatup?  Spill man.

mm

[groovlstk]

HOLD on here.  You've made quite a statement.

Not something that we "unmarried" folks would take lightly.  Besides, AW can cause you to think, drink and sink. . .

Whatup?  Spill man.

mm

The bittersweet thing about all this is someone can try to explain it to you but you'll never truly know the reason until a Russian woman falls in love with you.

[macman]

YIKES!  I can do that here in the conus. . . BUT, you have experience.  Is it more the case of women being universaly a "pain" that has to be negotiated?  Is this something that Adam experienced?  Are we all doomed to this position in life to be married and happy?  If that's the case, I need to focus on a concubine.

A woman who cohabits with a man. 2. In certain societies, such as imperial China, a woman contracted to a man as a secondary wife, often having few legal rights.

NOT!

I want a partner and buddy and etc. . .

Tell us more.

mm

[catzenmouse]

Those of us who are married to RW understand why RM drink, I think you are in for a lesson.

 

That is a classic! ROFLMAO!

The bittersweet thing about all this is someone can try to explain it to you but you'll never truly know the reason until a Russian woman falls in love with you.

Truer words were never spoken! It's like trying to explain the flavor of a strawberry to someone without a mouth or the color blue to someone who has no eyes. All the words in the world have no way to express the meaning that you have to live to understand.

Ken

[Zhena]

What facts are those which I should learn to face? Spell it out with small words, Muj, because you're talking way over my ability to comprehend here.

He meant that you are too selfconfident in your abilities to recognize a golddigger from just visiting her in Russia. If you would read the russian forums,you would understand how many of them really...But you dont wish to believe-go ahead. And good luck,possible you ll be one whos lucky.

You seek whatever type of woman you wish to be with. Hey, more power to you and best of luck. I'll stick with the type I prefer and we'll both be happy. Pretty simple really.

Come on,Dave,you re not so long time on this forum as you dont know Muj is happily married for some time already.

[catzenmouse]

Come on,Dave,you re not so long time on this forum as you dont know Muj is happily married for some time already.

And if he's not happy Zhena is going to beat him until he is! 

Ken

[Zhena]

And if he's not happy Zhena is going to beat him until he is! 

Ken

Yep

[Daveman]

He meant that you are too selfconfident in your abilities to recognize a golddigger from just visiting her in Russia. If you would read the russian forums,you would understand how many of them really...But you dont wish to believe-go ahead. And good luck,possible you ll be one whos lucky.Come on,Dave,you re not so long time on this forum as you dont know Muj is happily married for some time already.

Okay, perhaps we are carrying on a conversation about two subjects simultaneously here... we have to be.. it's just too ridiculous for us to actually be on the same wavelength... so

Let me ask this...  If anyone here on a trip mentions a woman taking him near a store and hinting or whatever for him to buy her something, guys crawl out of the woodwork to scream RED FLAG, RED FLAG, GOLD DIGGER...  so, are these not the same type of women who are posting on the forum about "spend the money" ??  What the hell am I missing here??

Zhena, I'm sorry but I've never seen Muj here before this thread.  He just popped in trying to whop me with the clue bat... and he obviously doesn't know anything about me either.  I didn't know captB or philb were married until just recently, but I had at least seen them post before.  Yes, self confidence is something I've never had a problem with, but I do try to pay attention and learn whatever I can here, but I am not getting this thread at all.  You guys keep talking about budgeting.. I got it.. yes, important to be patient, teach, make it your mission.. I agree... but damn.. those women seem to be in a little different league.


Macman, don't let these guys scare you too much..  your biggest worry is if a RM likes you and makes you his friend.. he'll literally crush you with a hug from hell... nothing gay about it.. but, I tell ya.. that saying around here crosses genders... if a RW 'OR' RM likes you.... you will know it...

Just missing this one altogether..... Dave

edit: okay, just found it.. Zhena and Muj are married... now that part of it makes sense.. 

[Zhena]

Let me ask this...  If anyone here on a trip mentions a woman taking him near a store and hinting or whatever for him to buy her something, guys crawl out of the woodwork to scream RED FLAG, RED FLAG, GOLD DIGGER...  so, are these not the same type of women who are posting on the forum about "spend the money" ??  What the hell am I missing here??

They are may be the same type of women and may be not. The purposes of the women very different,but a true love happens maybe 1 on 10 cases. Thats natural though,for the long-distance relationship and the couple meetings.

I agree... but damn.. those women seem to be in a little different league.

We started here with the question-So its all about the money? And we try to find out the truth

He just popped in trying to whop me with the clue bat...

Take it easy

[Muj]

Daveman,

Have your opinion, we can criticize.  But you seem offended when others comment anything on your vast knowledge from your (1 ?) trip to the FSU.  Hope the clue bat didn't hurt your too much.

Zhena, has no reason to hit me with me the clue bat.

[Daveman]

Daveman,

Have your opinion, we can criticize.  But you seem offended when others comment anything on your vast knowledge from your (1 ?) trip to the FSU.  Hope the clue bat didn't hurt your too much.

Zhena, has no reason to hit me with me the clue bat.

Howdy Muj...  I'm not offended in the least.  And I always welcome criticism of anything I say here.  You can't learn anything new if everyone agrees with you.  I'll be the first to admit my knowledge is far from "vast"

I've had a total of three trips so far, 1 month (Odessa), 2.5 months (Kharkov and Crimea), and 2.5 weeks (Omsk).. I stayed in everyday apartments in areas where very few if any spoke English. I tried to live as embedded into the culture as possible.  This has given me a good glimpse and some insights into a few things, but far from anything I would consider to be real knowledge. It just takes time to acquire an in depth understanding.

next trip will be in August and if it works out as planned will be for 6 months.

But I don't see how any of that relates to what I have been saying in this thread.  The clue bat doesn't hurt, it expands the horizons... whop away, just answer the questions.. 

Dave

[Zhena]

Wow,6 months is alot! I think you ll have plenty of time to figure out who is who. I wish you the best luck. And I am sure you ll learn many new thigs as well and then will teach the less experienced guys here

[Voyageur]

jb said:

Those of us who are married to RW understand why RM drink, I think you are in for a lesson.

Truer words were never spoken. Groovlstk and Catz got it right too.  You can read about this all day long but in the end, you just have to find out for yourself.

I told this quote to Russian couple that we are friends with, last time I was over there. FWIW, the RM thought it was extremely funny. In fact, it presented another occasion to drink a toast. The RW present found it only slightly less amusing  !

[WmGO]

But please explain to me how this following statement and the others like it can be misconstrued: "spend as much of his money as you can" - and, that even current wives follow this advice

What does that have to do with merely 'teaching them budgeting'? Sounds more like one would be enamored with the fantasy of converting schit into roses.  Why not take the time find a rose in the first place? The search may take longer but definitely time well spent. 

Yep, amen to that.

One thing I note from these recent exchanges is that there seems to be two different points trying to be made here, neither of which is mutually exclusive - yes, there are FSUW that have "budgeting"  "issues" and yes this should be realized, known and understood.....but on the other hand  Daveman points out the above which I agree with.....

Bottom line is that  FSUW do not have the knowlege or understanding of basic everyday issues of personal finance that exists in the West and America. And I am not sure that the time to try to broach that subject is through email. Maybe it is better  discussed in person to avoid misunderstanding or confusion as HiTech experienced. I am not sure. Maybe initially in person to discuss basic principles and expectations....

I do recall long ago on PL Dan created a long post on this subject that contained a long list of expenses, costs, taxes etc. that American men incur monthly and annually that could be copied and provided to an FSUW to teach them what "budgeting" really means in the West so that they do not engage in their favorite past time of jumping  to conclusions and making assumptions of what a WM is trying to explain to them about "budgeting":

Gross Monthly Income
- federal and state taxes
- mortgage payment
- homeowners insurance
- car payment and insurance and maintenance
- utilities
- upkeep and maintance of house
- TV phone and internet cable
- tithes and charitable contributions
- retirement contribution
- food

Perhaps a small sketch like this is the first step to teach an FSUW the basics of Western personal finance....then one is able to discuss the concepts of "discretionary" income and how the two can work together as partners in the spending of that discretionary income for clothes, cosmetics, travel, entertainment, helping parents, etc.........if it is laid out like this an FSUW can understand it quite easily.
 

 

[JR]

Question refrased

Russian chicks are seeing green rather than the AM - even if they try not to?

And all American women marry men who have nothing because they can't see past "him."

I know you're, never to return but I can't hepl it...WAKE UP DUDE!!!!

[Kuna]

errrrr... did you see the date of that post?

[JR]

errrrr... did you see the date of that post?

Yes, I was just EXTREMELY bored

[55North]

The trouble is that every contributor suddenly got an email inviting them to come and check out 'that you were bored'.  (Extremely).

Thank heavens, it's Sunday morning.
 
Just think of the serious timewasting and mayhem one could cause by methodically re-opening old threads. 
 
Dan, do you have insurance against this, especially now you're officially top dog or whatever it is?

[ECOCKS]

Nothing wrong with re-opening old threads, you control your notifications and if they are too much, change the settings. Every contributor doesn't get an email unless they selected that on their profile control panel. Forum history is a large part of the value of RWD.