Ladies, why did you decide to search for a mate abroad?

[Lily]

Jen, you may also look here for a subject of dating the older women:

http://www.russianwomenforums.com/topic.cfm?topic=5075&page=1

The SmoothOperator echoes a typical RM position pretty accurately.

Also please note that I did NOT started the thread. It was split by moderator from that one:
http://www.russianwomenforums.com/topic.cfm?topic=4981&page=7

Check out the SmoothOperator's comments in Posted: 05/17/2007 at 10:04 PM | Subject: Grandpa's Using MEE To Bang Young Girls.

[Thor]

Jen, thanks for the good question. I also think it is about unavailability and quality of Russian men.

Below are my comments on the two issues.

Scarcity

Russia used to be a patriarchal society where men used to play more significant role than women. The Soviet history added to this by destroying the old Russian nobility and merchants and focusing on hard manual laborers. For Russian people, life became a lot harder, only the strongest could survive. Therefore, one needed either to be strong, or to have a strong one by their side. Men became a definite commodity.

In a Russian family, boys used to be more valued than girls with the hope that they grow to family providers. The girls were nevertheless regarded as a more comfortable family asset, less risky but potentially less profitable. Since the life was hard, being a single woman was a way to poverty.

As people already said, Russians typically marry between 20-25 years. After they reach 18, the dating fever is high. The best of the best catches are usually taken till 25-28 years old. This is especially true for the men. They are commodities in Russia, not the women. If a young stud is good, he is likely to be taken early, unless some valid reason.

For a young woman it is different. Even if she is beautiful, kind and promising home keeper, she may well stay single for a long time. A single quality woman in Russia would mean that she did not find a suitable match yet. A single quality man in Russia would create excitement, competition and big female fuss around him.

When we say ‘there is no men around’, we mean ‘there is no suitable men around’. The male marriage material is scarce, not the men as such. The statistics shows equal numbers of both genders, you see?

If we move the age scale a bit forward, we will see that starting from 35-40 years of life men begin either to loose a lot in their quality of looks, health and attitude, or to dye off. Now tell me what age group prevails among men in the online dating company who target Russian women? Exactly this one, 40 +.

Hope that explains a bit on the scarcity issue.

This and the respective competition among women resulted in extremely high requirements for women in Russia. That’s why Russian women put a lot of efforts to look their best. Russian men set the beauty bar very, very high. Men of all ages prefer women 20-25 years old, please no older. They tend to think that after 25 years old a woman is garbage. I seldom see a Western man having same thinking.
 
Quality

You see there is a big disparity in quality of men and women in Russia. Mother nature made the men less capable to endure a permanently hard life. It looks like the life in Russia has made a heavy impact on Russian men. Until some 25 years of life, they seem to have a somehow positive attitude; they are alluring and having fun. This age group does hardly differ from their Western peers.

With the time however, Russian men quickly and drastically loose in quality. This is especially to notice at high school meetings. I barely recognize my former classmates after 15-20 years of finishing school. Where are all their sparks and laughs gone?

Russian men don’t smile. They are super sober, even grumpy faces. My female instincts don’t like it at all. I have seen and had enough soberness, I want to enjoy life.

Their way of dress leaves a lot to be desired. Many try to groom and to look good, but…somehow something is missing in the whole picture. They struggle at being nice and making others feel good. Russian men used to live in far from decent, even humiliating conditions. This made a negative impact on their personality.

To put it short, Russian men look like life has been beaten out of them. Our instincts assume the appearance reflects the inner world….

Here is one big advantage of Western men over the Russian ones. Even in their 40s and 50s, they hardly loose in quality. Many even gain.

RM vs WM

In early 1990es I jobbed as interpreter in a joint venture with many Europeans, mostly Germans men. The difference between Russians and Westerners was apparent. The latter had a truly positive demeanor. They were challenging. Interesting. Sparkling. Optimistics. Even a few business problems did not mean disaster for them. To me they look like people who used to live a decent life.
Needless to say, German and Dutch soon discovered the local women, and a chain of divorces followed on both sides.  Even the married expats divorced and married a few Russian women colleagues. 

Jen, I have a fairly comfortable life in Russia. All conditions being equal, I'd prefer a Russian man. But they are not equal, not at all!

Lily,

Thank you for a wounderful post. This my be the best post I ever has read at this forum. Now I really understand all what my wife has told me about FSU, about the men and why girls always look beautiful here.

You stroke the bull eye here.

[BillyB]

Ladies, interesting comments from you all. It's good to read many of you believe men from Western nations are good men. But our media has stereotyped the men who seek you are losers, women abusers, and men who have various other issues that don't allow them to be in high demand as mates to women in their own home country.

But I'm sure most of you women have received strange and nasty letters or went on dates with Western men(WM) who do have problems and are perverts. But you all must have received letters and experiences from enough good WM to have a belief that WM on average are better men than RM.

Of course there are a lot of sex tourists that go to the FSU, you might have encountered some, and they can be considered perverts and losers but they shouldn't represent, in public view, the many decent men seeking a decent woman for marriage.

 I don't believe many RW are going to marry just any loser out there although media portrays that these women will do just that to get out of their country. Every man and woman has an agenda. Some selfish and some sincere. Too bad we don't see more of the sincere agendas and happily married couples as we could find on forums where people speak up and in many individual homes where married couples live their lives happily and quietly.

[Jazzyclassy]

I also never specifically searched for a foreign man,  I wanted a man who would understand my extremely sensitive nature, my individual outlook on life, my interesting perception of the World around, and how I express my emotions and simply my character, Russian guys simply saw me always as a mate as a pal as a friend so to say , they never saw a woman in me, cos I could talk on any topics which some girls could barely speak.... I was always offended with such an attitude from their part, as I did not always want to be only just a friend, whom they can tell all their failures with girls and methods how to seduces them , they never see a sensitive nice woman in me, if they did eventually they became an energetic vampires in relations as they were only taking ideas, thoughts, positive things from me and brought me nothing instead on emotional level , at the end of the relationship I was empty like an empty bucket, no progressing in me(my personality) with that particular person though I 've always like new things and new developments and I am ready to develop in this or that way and those boys who were around me were always stopping on some stage of their progression and did not want to move forward, had no such desire knowing that they have everything then in their life, a girl , job and a place to live nothing they need more , no brains are required anymore... sad stories  nothing else I can add...

[Mir]

JC

The things you were looking for in men is usually not present in the age group 20-25 (and I presume that is the age bracket you were interested in).
I am sure your boyfriend has these qualities, and you are lucky to find these features in someone so young.
As you are with an English man beware of the British habit of sarcasm and dry humor. People of other nationalaties often don't understand this and get offended
Good luck

[Jazzyclassy]

JC

The things you were looking for in men is usually not present in the age group 20-25 (and I presume that is the age bracket you were interested in).
I am sure your boyfriend has these qualities, and you are lucky to find these features in someone so young.
As you are with an English man beware of the British habit of sarcasm and dry humor. People of other nationalaties often don't understand this and get offended
Good luck

yeah my boy is lovely amazing the most kind man in the world, and yeah he got typical english humour and sarcasm , it is fine I love it, the main thing he is not narrow minded and views the situation from so many prospectives and evalutes things, he tries not to judge people and equally treat them the same as he wants to be treated, am really lucky to have found him , sometimes I think he is more mature than I am , well there are many things I learn from him and a lot of things he learns from me:)

It is ok that he is young I am not that old  as well, we are both learning

[Mir]

Sun and certain skin texture is a factor, yes, but to me the direct reason for wrinkles is the natural thinning of skin. If sun would be a problem, many women would make hand gloves their essential detail for daily wear! and many would be considering a hijab

Skin gets thinner by loosing some important ingredients, so the hands start to show blue round veins that were previously hidden under the firmer skin. Fat, housing for female hormones, gets lost as well.

Yes loss of subcutaneous fat, change in collagen and pigmentation are the things what produce ageing of the skin and it is a natural phenomenon. What I was trying to tell you that exposure to sun accelerates this process. In people with fair skin there is less protection from the sun, so if they get exposure to sun then their skin ages faster then those who have darker skin (and more protection) and those who have the same skin but have less sun exposure.
Hijab was a joke, yet there is no doubt that if it is put on each time the woman goes out it will provide the protection needed to prevent what we call premature ageing of skin.
The majority of treatments used to make people look younger are aimed at reversing some of the premature ageing of the skin.

[jen]

BTW, I didn’t quite get what you meant saying that I "...made a related point about men's "self-esteem problems".   Could you please specify?

Oops, I'm sorry, it was StrawberryGirl who said that. Sorry to have misattributed that comment.  Thanks for your very interesting comments, and I wonder if others agree with them...but I am getting ahead of myself as I have just logged on this morning and haven't finishing reading the thread, so I will get back to that.

J.

[jen]

I also never specifically searched for a foreign man,  I wanted a man who would understand my extremely sensitive nature, my individual outlook on life, my interesting perception of the World around, and how I express my emotions and simply my character, Russian guys simply saw me always as a mate as a pal as a friend so to say , they never saw a woman in me, cos I could talk on any topics which some girls could barely speak.... I was always offended with such an attitude from their part, as I did not always want to be only just a friend, whom they can tell all their failures with girls and methods how to seduces them , they never see a sensitive nice woman in me, if they did eventually they became an energetic vampires in relations as they were only taking ideas, thoughts, positive things from me and brought me nothing instead on emotional level , at the end of the relationship I was empty like an empty bucket, no progressing in me(my personality) with that particular person though I 've always like new things and new developments and I am ready to develop in this or that way and those boys who were around me were always stopping on some stage of their progression and did not want to move forward, had no such desire knowing that they have everything then in their life, a girl , job and a place to live nothing they need more , no brains are required anymore... sad stories  nothing else I can add...

Hi JC,

I like that phrase "energetic vampire" -- I heard it in Russia but I have never heard it here. It's a nice image for talking about people who drain you emotionally and always make you feel worse rather than better...

[jen]

It’s a tough question… Well, maybe Russian men are just more honest about their intentions? Or they do not see any need to prettify their true intentions – make these intentions more socially accepted, more “politically-correct”? I didn’t date enough Russian males to make any statistically valid generalizations, but I got a very strong gut feeling that I would be dating for ages in Russia without any tangible results. So, I decided to try another “pasture” where the grass seemed greener…

Although I don’t like to speculate and generalize, I’ll try to do my best coming up with possible reasons explaining RM’s typical behavior. Well, when a person is looking for a partner, the person is thinking about enhancing his or her life, making this life complete, but not more complicated. For a normal man, it usually means having more fun without having more problems. So, he wants to have a problem -free relationship with a woman, which is impossible to have being married to the woman.  The Russian men I met were concentrated on having a good time together. My everyday life was of no interest to them, and I never met a Russian man while dating after my divorce who was willing to help me with anything practical. I still have my fondest memories of my ex-husband fixing a leaking faucet in my apartment when I invited him to come in for the first time. Probably, I just wasn’t lucky…

I have to say that I didn’t waste too much time exploring my chances on the Russian dating scene. It was obvious that they were slim, and I didn’t mind learning more about the West in general and western males in particular… In my experience, men are more or less the same everywhere on earth.  Nobody wants to add an extra burden to his or her life. BUT! It seems that western males are more educated about what is believed to be a good “family man”. They are capable of creating good first impressions through their emails/phone conversations, which can hold a woman interested for quite a while. Behind all the politically-correct words, there is still the same guy looking for a less troubled relationship than he used to have with his ex. I believe that a woman can figure out what kind of person she communicates with and what his true intentions are only when she has lived with the man for a while. It takes time to get to the “core”…whether the man actually meant what he tried to convey in his letters. Also, an average western man understands that it is not financially feasible to maintain a long-distance dating for a long time, so he has to make his mind quickly, which is definitely different from the way a next-door Russian man thinks…

Hi all,

I thought this was an interesting discussion by Galina, with some ideas about what Russian men and American men, in her experience, might have in common and where they differ when it comes to dating. Anyone want to second these thoughts, or offer a different perspective?

Thanks Galina,
J.

[jen]

p.s. I just wanted to add that I am going to be visiting family for about a week and the connection they have there is AWFUL. So if I am relatively silent, please know that it is not because I am not interested in your comments!

Thanks for posts so far.

Jen

[Zmejka]

When i read Lily's post about how RM appreciate women's beauty it became so obviously for me that it's soooo wrong, i mean to judge in such categories, examining skin, wrinkles, it reminded me how to choose a horse on the market
Of course not all RM are like that and not all WM are decent but may be the last are more tolerant being used to feminist society? I don't know the answer...
As for me it all started like a game, before i placed my ads on the internet and dated boys from my city. Then i decided to broad the area and it was nice and so interesting to get letters in English. I never mentioned marriage in my goals and honestly answered that i didn't know yet what my goals were. I can't say how much time passed till i got a letter from my friend. If not for his strong intention to come and meet me i could still be chatting and be in a correspondence leading usually to nowhere. And i never regretted that it so happened and i came here. I hope the same goes for my friend.

[AnastassiaAsh]

Hi Jen,

I would post here something that I wrote about 6 years ago, but it stays true to this day. At that time I was talking about my first husband Lance, but for those who don't know my story, he passed away from cancer and later, about 2 years ago, I remarried another young man from Canada. The following article is absolutely true and everything I mention can be said about my second husband too. So here it is:
____________________________

Hi dear guys and ladies!

My name is Anastassia, I married an American guy, and now we live together in Redmond, WA with a little baby boy Andre.  And we cannot be happier! (But wait to make any conclusions…)

The theme raised here is very close and interesting to me, as I asked this question myself before the marriage and am still asking these days.

My case is not typical and differs a lot from most ladies from Russia or Former Soviet Republics.
I think that the main thing here is - two people who are getting married should have lots of common things to share – and I mean MAIN things, like Faith, some main human family values, honesty, sincerity and lots more that we know very well, but one of them is sharing the same LANGUAGE!

What is culture? What is literature? What is expressing ideas? How do we learn history? It is mostly language, done through language.

Why marry an American?

1.   I didn’t want to marry specifically an American; I wanted to marry an English speaking person, so my search was within Great Britain, USA, Canada, and Australia. It just happened that the guy who I married is an American.
2.   Now why an English speaking guy, not Spanish, or French? My first foreign language is English and my second is French. English has become almost my second mother tongue; French is in a working state, but not as good as English. I have been raised in a highly professional linguistic family and have been taught English and culture since I was Four. My parents worked quite a bit abroad so they inculcated this big interest of the English language, culture, literature, and history in me. So I thought, “It won’t feel really good if my husband isn’t an English speaking person.” I wanted and want now to refine my knowledge in both language and culture and all that’s connected with it.  However I’m most interested of course in the very language.
3.   Also I love to change places, to travel, and to learn something completely new and awesome. I have been getting ready for this big change all of my life. Of course subconsciously, even when I was in my 2nd year of Institute I didn’t have a clue I would marry a foreigner one day.

4.   Now you may ask, “But why a foreigner and not a Russian guy?”

Here is what I can say:

My heart has been longing to find a decent marriage oriented man for a long time. It was impossible to find him in Russia.

I wanted him to be from 26-33 years old, 175 cm and higher, who doesn’t smoke or drink at all, must have higher education (doesn’t matter humanitarian or technical),  must be financially successful and stable, have his own separate flat or a place to start a healthy happy family together, have the same Christian faith – which is very important, be cute or handsome, be very loyal, sincere, honest, and ready to talk about any problems – most important qualities that I value – and of course funny, humorous, athletic and a whole list of other things that every lady dreams about. Oh… And so fluent or knowledgeable in English that I may learn endlessly linguistically from him.

These things were and are a must for a man to have… if he wants to marry me.

So now tell me please where could have I found this kind of guy? I am from Moscow. Where are those places in Moscow where such –single- guys may be?

I tried the following and was still unsuccessful: really good clubs, discos, friends of friends, newspapers and blind dates, and some MGIMO and Moris Tores institute parties.

My experience was pretty sad – most of the guys who I came across either smoked or drank, and I won’t even mention having a separate flat or being loyal, leave alone a spiritual world.

I wanted to find my soul mate and get married. I wanted to marry him, so He should be almost perfect. I wanted to find as they say here, ‘The whole package.’

So I was thinking – the only place I can find such a guy, with all of these values, plus a place to live, and knowledge of English is…. – ABROAD.

Now some of you may think that I ‘calculated’ everything and value ‘material’ things.  Yes at some point we all very often do this, but i am very serious about it when it comes to marriage.  Marriage is once and for all:  forever.

I call it looking in the right place and finding exactly what you have dreamed about. Today the Internet can make this all possible.

Please, ladies, tell me you wouldn’t want a guy like I described???

I made up my introductory letter and sent it to all young guys who fit my description. Lots of them replied but only 5 were very good. I started seriously corresponding with them and narrowed it down to three and then to ONE.
And here is the most interesting part – how did we know that we loved each other and wanted to marry each other???

Firstly – we were sure that our intentions were serious, because in my letter and in his profile it was written or implied “If I find the right perfect person for me I am going to marry him/her”

Yes it was risky to believe and trust all this from the beginning, however I guess both parties were in the same shoes. 

We wrote and talked about literally hundreds of topics, important things like LOVE, loyalty, honesty, faith, dreams, interests… and little things… We wrote a lot and we talked a lot.  I mean A LOT. High quality talking, emotionally exhausting talking, passionate and sincere talking…

And there came a time when he and I realized that This was it, this was love. He bought tickets, came to me for 2 weeks, we got married, he went home, filed for the K1 fiancée visa, and I came to the US in 3 months.

I would have never let a man come to me just for a visit, to see how it will go, to check if we have ‘chemistry’, to go sightseeing… No, I want him to be sure in me to such an extent that he will come and marry me. I did everything possible from my part.  I explained and showed him that I am the one.  I showed him both by words and actions.

And my husband, is exactly the man I described at the beginning, not less, even more… 
I love him a lot. There is such a great bond and trust, full understanding and cherishing of each other. Such an understanding that we very often think the same at the same time and verbalize exactly the same idea up to the same words another of us wanted to say.  We read each other’s minds, we look into each other’s eyes, and understand without words.

This is definitely not marriage by convenience.  This is real endless and whole consuming true love searched for and found in the right place. All of this couldn’t have happened without faith in God and his help.

I chose this road because I wasn’t interested that much in Russian literature, history, and culture. I mean of course I am Russian by culture and birth but it wasn’t my passion or profession or something to which I gave my life and heart. When I came here I didn’t have any cultural shocks that they talk about so much. I don’t feel any homesickness, I feel loved and respected, honored and blessed, happy and whole. And at home.

Now if I don’t say the following my story wouldn’t be complete. In my case my Mom was my only very close relative remaining in Russia.  My mom was divorced and recently she came through the K1 visa process and is here and married to an American guy. She is closer to me now. WE are together. I don’t know how I would feel if she had stayed there in Moscow forever or wasn’t divorced.

Anastassia

[jen]

Thanks, Anastassia!

[Lily]

When i read Lily's post about how RM appreciate women's beauty it became so obviously for me that it's soooo wrong, i mean to judge in such categories, examining skin, wrinkles, it reminded me how to choose a horse on the market
Of course not all RM are like that and not all WM are decent but may be the last are more tolerant being used to feminist society? I don't know the answer...
 

Yes Zmejka, it hurts me reading that, too...

What angers me even more, they talk about obvious real gems here, those who not only have great genes, good health and positive attitude to stay beautiful at their advanced age, but also take pride in their apprearance...Men dismiss them only because of their year of birth, that's it.

However, this is reality. Who said life is fair? 

[TigerPaws]

Yes Zmejka, it hurts me reading that, too...

What angers me even more, they talk about obvious real gems here, those who not only have great genes, good health and positive attitude to stay beautiful at their advanced age, but also take pride in their apprearance...Men dismiss them only because of their year of birth, that's it.

Lily,

 I followed the link in your profile and read that you are 40 years old so your age is a factor, also it depends on the age of the man you are willing to accept. I will be very honest Lily most men under 55 years old who are in in good health, take care of themselves and have a good income, who are looking for a Russian lady will have little interest in a lady of 40 no matter how well she has taken care of herself. I realize that other's on this forum may disagree with me but in general terms that is the reality you are facing, if you are willing to accept a man between 58 and 60ish then I believe your chances of finding someone will improve considerably.

TigerPaws

[Lily]

 I will be very honest Lily most men under 55 years old who are in in good health, take care of themselves and have a good income, who are looking for a Russian lady will have little interest in a lady of 40 no matter how well she has taken care of herself. 

Who are looking for a Russian lady. You are right Tiger. That's why I stay away from Elenasmodels and other sites where men look for Russian wife. This may also be the reason why I receive little interest from RWD members, too.  I look among men who don't mind international, not particularly FSU, dating.

The reason why I look abroad is that Western men would hardly dismiss a woman by her age only, as far as I know frommy experience WM. Looks and personality DO matter A LOT to them, Tiger    A factor here is, however, whether they want to have kids with the woman.Then her age is important, yes.

The men whom I contacted did reply almost every time, and among the hundreds I could barely remember a single time when someone rejected me giving the age reason. Yes, politeness may be, but anyway, the site has an automatic reply option is someone looks for a younger or older person. Usually men ARE interested in me.

I'd say this is the core difference between RM and WM.

Tiger, I'd likely accept a man even older than the braces shown by you, but only if he exhibits a strong body, healthy skin, expressive face, is interesting and willing to develop further, etc. In other words, I look for one who is in my department of looks and lifestyle.

P.S. you may notice that your post is edited by me. Sorry I occasionally used a wrong button and started repying right in your post (moderator has a different panel), so I had to copy and move my text into the new reply. I did not altered your words.

[Jazzyclassy]

Lily,

 I followed the link in your profile and read that you are 40 years old so your age is a factor, also it depends on the age of the man you are willing to accept. I will be very honest Lily most men under 55 years old who are in in good health, take care of themselves and have a good income, who are looking for a Russian lady will have little interest in a lady of 40 no matter how well she has taken care of herself. I realize that other's on this forum may disagree with me but in general terms that is the reality you are facing, if you are willing to accept a man between 58 and 60ish then I believe your chances of finding someone will improve considerably.

TigerPaws

and that is your mistake here, if some of you married here very very young women , that does not mean  that all the men  are following your advice
according to your statement and to all the things which we've seen here in many forums, only 16-18 girls ok ok girls up to 20 are in demand the others can berry themselves into grave and die

[TigerPaws]

and that is your mistake here, if some of you married here very very young women , that does not mean  that all the men  are following your advice
according to your statement and to all the things which we've seen here in many forums, only 16-18 girls ok ok girls up to 20 are in demand the others can berry themselves into grave and die

Jazzyclassy,

My comments to Lily were and are not meant to sound mean, it is just that there are certain realities and age is one of them, if for instance I was looking today for a lady today I would be looking at a lady between 32 and 36 with a child under 6 not a lady of 40 no matter how nice she has kept herself. It does not matter if it is right or wrong that is the reality and any men feel the same.

TigerPaws 

[Jazzyclassy]

yeah I understand everything but am sorry how old are you?

I really do not want to debate with you , as I know  that I wont agree with your statements  at least concerning the topic of age, no matter how you strongly deny this important factor that old men should stick to the women close to their age if possible

[TigerPaws]

Who are looking for a Russian lady. You are right Tiger. That's why I stay away from Elenasmodels and other sites where men look for Russian wife. This may also be the reason why I receive little interest from RWD members, too.  I look among men who don't mind international, not particularly FSU, dating.

The reason why I look abroad is that Western men would hardly dismiss a woman by her age only, as far as I know frommy experience WM. Looks and personality DO matter A LOT to them, Tiger   Up to a point then a womans looks do matter, no matter how nice the person is on the inside if the outside is butt ugly the lady is doomed A factor here is, however, whether they want to have kids with the woman.Then her age is important, yes.

The men whom I contacted did reply almost every time, and among the hundreds I could barely remember a single time when someone rejected me giving the age reason. Yes, politeness may be, No politenes is the major reason Lily and age is a factor but anyway, the site has an automatic reply option is someone looks for a younger or older person. Usually men ARE interested in me. Lily, 99% of the men responing to your profile will never come to meet you, as a suggestion ask the men in the very first e-mail/letter if they have their passport and would be willing to travel to Russia within a month. 

I'd say this is the core difference between RM and WM.

Tiger, I'd likely accept a man even older than the braces shown by you, but only if he exhibits a strong body, healthy skin, expressive face, is interesting and willing to develop further, etc. In other words, I look for one who is in my department of looks and lifestyle.

P.S. you may notice that your post is edited by me. Sorry I occasionally used a wrong button and started repying right in your post (moderator has a different panel), so I had to copy and move my text into the new reply. I did not altered your words.

Do not be concerend Lily I understand that English is your second language and do not be concerned about editing erors ok.

TigerPaws

[AnastassiaAsh]

TigerPaws, I appreciate your honesty and openness in all of your posts, but it seems to me you could have avoided mentioning Lily's age, saying the same thing without numbers. But you have just written you didn't mean to sound mean, so that's good. Lily looks as if she is 30. But I agree with the tendency, that's pretty sad actually.
Lily, have you tried match.com? I think there is much more choice there and they pay attention more to WHO you are, education and character and your accomplishments, rather than thinking "Oh, i am 45 and i can get a 20 y.o hottie!" It worked for me twice.
Also I think mostly, and this is my opinion strictly, those men who are looking for RW and know all the info about it, are inclined to have a little streak of stinginess, overexcessive saving, they think that RW are used to few things, not spoiled (which is all true), so they can take advantage of this....
In match.com, they may not know about RW thing and look at you just as a great catch, good woman, but will have to still discover some difficulties connected with bringing a RW to the US, but at the end it is all possible and doable... I always say that it takes more work and diligent work but it is all worth it.

[MaxxumUSA]

In match.com, they may not know about RW thing and look at you just as a great catch, good woman, but will have to still discover some difficulties connected with bringing a RW to the US, but at the end it is all possible and doable... I always say that it takes more work and diligent work but it is all worth it.

I was just thinking the same thing.

Lily - I believe if you were here in the USA it would be easy for you to find a good partner in life.  As for RWD members being interested - I thought you had a man now?  And many of us are committed to women already.

BUT - in a generalizing way - when us WM look at all the thousands of profiles on sites like the one you mentioned - Elenas Models - we see those younger hotties as premium targets.

I used match.com when I was single and dating here in the USA.  Wow...  it's like complete role reversal from FSU and elenasmodels.  The women are definitely in charge there.  Online dating is so prevalent in the USA that almost every single person here has a profile on match.com, cupid.com, or some other singles website.  An attractive women with nice photos and profile can easily rack up anywhere from 25 to over 100 incoming emails a day.  In an area like NYC it would be over 100 easy.  Most women here never need to initiate an email correspondence because of this.

I also would be interested to see how you did with a match.com profile.

[TigerPaws]

TigerPaws, I appreciate your honesty and openness in all of your posts, but it seems to me you could have avoided mentioning Lily's age, saying the same thing without numbers. But you have just written you didn't mean to sound mean, so that's good. Lily looks as if she is 30. But I agree with the tendency, that's pretty sad actually.
Lily, have you tried match.com? I think there is much more choice there and they pay attention more to WHO you are, education and character and your accomplishments, rather than thinking "Oh, i am 45 and i can get a 20 y.o hottie!" It worked for me twice.
Also I think mostly, and this is my opinion strictly, those men who are looking for RW and know all the info about it, are inclined to have a little streak of stinginess, overexcessive saving, they think that RW are used to few things, not spoiled (which is all true), so they can take advantage of this.... I am going to disagree with your assessment in this regards, of the men I know all are/were very generous with their fiancee, wife and her family.
In match.com, they may not know about RW thing and look at you just as a great catch, good woman, but will have to still discover some difficulties connected with bringing a RW to the US, but at the end it is all possible and doable... I always say that it takes more work and diligent work but it is all worth it.

AnastassiaAsh,

I only mentioned Lily's age because she posted it with her profile, looking 30 will help but numbers do not lie and at her age her options will be more limited. Match.com would be a good option for her but she would need to get past the men who will never travel to Russia, who have no idea about the cross cultural issues but it might be a good option for her to try.

TigerPaws

[KenC]

Lily,
Not every man wants a woman so much younger than his age.  When I met my wife Lena I was in my mid 40's and typically dated AW in their mid to late 30's.  I also dated some women in their 20's and 40's and one woman a few years older than me.  When I first went to Russia in 1998, there simply were no women available through agencies much over the age of 30.  The agency I used (LTP) only had a small handfull of women in their 30's. (Like maybe 5 total)  None had English abilities and some had children (which I didn't want).  Some were not very attractive to me, so in total there was one woman I could meet in her 30's total.  I did meet with her and she was a fine woman, but the lack of English killed any hope I might have had.

As my trip was really based on meeting Lena, with the thought of meeting a few other women too, I was pretty focused on her to begin with.  The one major negative about Lena , in my mind, was her youth.  In fact, her youth was the only reason I dragged my feet as much as I did.  I was never seeking a woman so young and it scared the hell out of me (as it should).  Not all of us think that youth is a positive thing.
KenC
(BTW, Maxxum is right, you would be "on the market" here for about 30 seconds)