All Good Things Come to an End

[Admin]

Almost 2 years since her final permanent arrival and the better part of 3 years since my last visit to Russia, we are now just 3 weeks out from departure. I had quite an update written here but thanks to upload speed or lack thereof, it was lost (twice) thus the short version now.

It will be most interesting for me to observe from the sidelines, a much “older and wiser” woman returning to her motherland. Given all goes to plan, I will be in Russia around 3 weeks and she will be in Russia around 5 weeks. Definitely a stronger and IMO, when I look back at early photos, some of which are up thread, prettier woman who will return to family and friends.

I/O

Thanks for the update Mat. She is lovely, and the two of you look great together.

Best wishes for the future.

- Dan

[Gator]

Jazzy,

I sincerely believe it true based on what I see in front of my eyes.  And I am certain you are another example.

Before you think I am sweet, let me burst that bubble.

Your wife looks very young.   I'd say late 20's - early 30's.   And there is a pretty big age difference between you two, right?...  

Sheesh.

My first reaction was that Mr & Mrs I/O look happy.

Oooops, you sound like a babushka.  I can envision you now - sitting on a bench in front of your apartment, chewing sunflower seeds, stockings rolled down below your knees, and topped off by a very bad hairdo.  

We know such is not you, so why the catty comment?  Yes, there is an obvious age difference.  It does not appear to bother Mrs. I/O.  Russians I know usually do not put their noses in other people's private lives.

[groovlstk]

I/O, I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts on this trip, I hope you both have a great time.

My theory is that her life is less stressful today than years ago.  This happiness relaxes her beauty lines, plus allows her inner beauty to come out and soften her aura, imparting a luminous glow.  A deeper feeling of love does that as well.

My wife experienced (and continues to experience) the same thing, she believes she's much more beautiful now. When I asked for an explanation, she told me that now she has "garmins of happiness." (Translation: hormones of happiness

[JR]

Great post I/O. Very good insight into some of the issues or interculrural marriages and a good presentation on how you worked thru some of them.

[Blues Fairy]

Oooops, you sound like a babushka.  I can envision you now - sitting on a bench in front of your apartment, chewing sunflower seeds, stockings rolled down below your knees, and topped off by a very bad hairdo.  

We know such is not you, so why the catty comment?  Yes, there is an obvious age difference.  It does not appear to bother Mrs. I/O.  Russians I know usually do not put their noses in other people's private lives.

Gator, you are being unfair.  She just remarked on the youth of Mrs. I/O and asked about the age difference; nothing more.  I believe no cattiness was implied.  Mrs. I/O does look remarkably young and I believe that was meant as a compliment.

[Mir]

It will only be an compliment if she was old and looked young. If she was young and looked young then it is what she should look like cause if she looked older then it is not good.
IMO there is a reasonable age difference since I am sure I/O looks a bit seasoned because of spending lots of time in the Australian sun over the years and Mrs. is rather fresh out of a much less sunnier Russia

[SANDRO43]

she told me that now she has "garmins of happiness." (Translation: hormones of happiness

Groove, if you can bottle and sell them, you'll both make a FORTUNE .

[I/O]

Thanks for the update Mat. She is lovely, and the two of you look great together.

Best wishes for the future.

- Dan

Dan

Thanks for the generous remarks. Much appreciated........very much.

Gator, I can't know whether or not it is less stress or more. Being married to me  could hardly be counted as less stressful than living in Russia, particularly in light of her not exactly having a poor end lifestyle.

I didn't react to ooops comments quite the way you did. You may be right and if so, more the fool her, but I take it as a response to my comment about "older and wiser", which is more of a cliche than someone who didn't grow up with English as their first language might appreciate. Therefore, before this goes sideways into an age gap {You fill the gap}, I'm happy to field questions on the subject which I may be able to offer something constructive in answer to but if it is simply to challenge the rationale of my original decision (which was without rationale), I advise those to go light fire between their feet and pi$$ on it with petrol.

Oooops: Many young women, even Russian women, my wife being no exception approach this international relationship thing with far more romantic notions than might always be advisable. Notwithstanding our distinct lack of romanticism early on and our pointed effort to focus on the practicalities, I still feel Mrs I/O was a little starry eyed at the outset. This was something I had to manage to some extent and of course it produced it's share of fireworks (Neither of us is renown for taking a backwards step).

Although we have a very long way to go in many areas of our marriage, as does everyone, 2 years of living abroad and the practicalities of "learning to be married" with all that entails have matured her markedly. It is interesting to note how she will now lecture the starry eyed teenagers on various RW forums in much the same way as we lecture the new guys to this pursuit. She has copped the snide comments about her apparently preferred lifestyle and all the other BS for which Russian women have no peer. Slowly, if very slowly, she has gotten through to a few of them that this is no turkey shoot and any rewards she may now have are hard won.

We have a very basic lifestyle, we live very economically in a modest home and location. We can afford somewhat more but that is our choice for a number of reasons, not least of all the "age gap". Huh? Why you may well ask. Whilst we are by no means poor, I suffered a severe financial setback some years ago (Several 100 thousand dollars) and as a result, I have been rebuilding somewhat since. Whilst we are comfortable and progressing well, I have to be realistic and see that later in life the time may come when Mrs is on her own and I am not around. My first priority right now is to develop a pool of financial security for her and our child/children in my absence. Once I am comfortable that is in place, then we may defer to a slightly higher lifestyle. The jury remains out on that.

Her working through all these issues, learning a new language and settling into a new lifestyle are in and of themselves, no small issues. Collectively, it is huge. Hence my comment about "Older and Wiser".

The actual is 17 years for 50 weeks per year and 18 years for 2 weeks. The restaraunt photos were made during a river boat dinner cruise celebrating her 27th birthday a few days ago. I am now 44 and unlike most freshmen who come to forums claiming they look so young, I look older than I am and don't care, it isn't the miles a vehicle has done, it's the sort of roads it's been over . We have a unique relationship (as should everyone) which many wouldn't survive. Whether or not we will can only be answered in the fullness of time.

I've said before that in an age gap relationship, particularly an international one, a guy needs to cross over between husband, lover, manager and mentor. If he fails to grasp that at the outset, he is toast. It would be remiss to avoid the obvious, that is the kudos Russian Women generally should receive because although each, including my wife, is unique, it is that very Russianess which gives them the strength to survive something few others could. 

Crap, what a lot of waffle, I'll try to revisit the trip plan later.

I/O

[Ooooops]

Oooops, you sound like a babushka.

You sound surprised...  I thought it was already established that I'm old and bitter?...   

[Ooooops]

Notwithstanding our distinct lack of romanticism early on and our pointed effort to focus on the practicalities, I still feel Mrs I/O was a little starry eyed at the outset. This was something I had to manage to some extent and of course it produced it's share of fireworks (Neither of us is renown for taking a backwards step).

Best of luck to you two and congratulations on second anniversary!     

[Gator]

You sound surprised...  I thought it was already established that I'm old and bitter?...   

That's just it.  You have never written a bitter comment; you're always upbeat and I can sense a twinkle in your eye.  You are a joy.  This comment about ages seemed out of character for you.

I probably am too sensitive because I am in a May-December marriage.  And my wife, if she receives a comment about age difference, responds that Russians never make such comments.

Gator, you are being unfair..... I believe no cattiness was implied.  Mrs. I/O does look remarkably young and I believe that was meant as a compliment.

OK.  I overreacted.

[Ooooops]

Gator, sorry that I've brushed you against the scales...   
 

[Turboguy]

I probably am too sensitive because I am in a May-December marriage. 

Humm, May-December?   How bout we call it May-October.  May-December sounds too much like we are a few days away from needing a thread about picking out undertakers and headstones.

I/O congratulations on the anniversary.   The photos were great.  You make a nice looking couple and both look very happy.   Iren and I wish you dozens and dozens of additional happy anniversaries.

[Shadow]

I/O happy anniversayr, and the two of you look great.
Everyone has an unique relationship, and it is only through both being willing to put in hard work that it lasts.

[Ooooops]

Humm, May-December?   How bout we call it May-October.  May-December sounds too much like we are a few days away from needing a thread about picking out undertakers and headstones.

 

Reminds me, I gotta get that Living Will notarized...   

[I/O]

Correction guys, sorry if a created the wrong impression but there was no anniversary. The occasion was her birthday.

Anyways, now that Baba and Deda seem to have settled their differences, rolled up their stockings and spat out their tobacco, I guess I should give some insight into the forward plan, no doubt one that if I were starting out would be close to as ridiculous as the original plan when I first went to Russia way back when.

I recall landing in Moscow having tarried somewhat west of there for a few weeks, having a whirlwind tour, chatting up some doll half my age at the Siberian Airlines desk in DME and then boarding the midnight horror flight to Irkutsk with no firm plan other than a ticket out of Moscow 3 weeks later. What a hoot.

I wonder what I have learned? There is 5 in the launch party which was originally 6 until the local guy who fell in love with her friend when she was here visiting sometime ago has now fallen out of love with her friend or her friend has fallen out of love with him or she has told them both they are quite mad or………does it matter? It was or was that is or is that was awfully complicated. What I have learned is NEVER allow your Russian Mrs to get involved matchmaking. YOU will somehow get caught in the crossfire and any lack of success WILL of course be your fault.

Careful timing has allowed us all, including my parents who will in part play the return in law visit thing as in laws do, as part of their RTW trip, to fit in with sister in law’s (I mentioned Siberian Airlines desk) wedding plans, not to mention a few other treats. Ex Brisbane east coast of Au via Sydney, Hong Kong, Beijing short sojourn, Novosibirsk and then rail to Omsk. A week or so in Omsk, then St Pete and Moscow where 2 will exit stage west whilst we return to Omsk. I will fly out a couple of weeks before she is scheduled to do so. I’ll have around 3 weeks in Russia and Mrs will have around 5 weeks in Russia if all goes according to plan.

I really am keen to see Russia again if for no other reason than to erase the saddest feeling I can remember of walking away from one I loved so much at the airport in Novosibirsk not knowing when or even if I would see her again. I can be a fairly hard SOB I guess but standing at the top of the stairs on that plane almost 3 years ago at 2 in the freezing morning, looking over the city lights and trying to keep it all together was just too much. I will have to repeat the performance again this time with one difference, there is a finite timeline on the distance.

We will all pack a lot into this trip and I suspect it will be a blast once we get rolling. If a freshman were to try cramming as much in, I’m sure many of us would take the clue bat to him. If madness is the pursuit of Russian women, complete insanity is being married to one. I have no other explanation.

I/O

[Aloe]

I/O that's a madly beautiful wedding photo, where was it taken?

[I/O]

I/O that's a madly beautiful wedding photo, where was it taken?

In Au.

I/O

[Aloe]

In Au.

I/O

that's kinda obvious  au is big

[I/O]

that's kinda obvious  au is big

Bloody Russians...!!! You could've graciously accepted that I was avoiding a direct answer .

I/O

[Jazzyclassy]

I/O and Mrs

Great pictures, fantastic even if one is with a little bit of help )) still brilliant

I hope you will enjoy your trip to Russia and will have an amazing time there

[I/O]

A bit more than a couple of weeks before we fly out and "she" is packing. The allowance in total is 66 KG / 3 check in luggage plus 21 KG / 3 hand luggage = total 87 KG (192 LB). It would seem 82 KG in gifts and .......... for clothes. 

I/O

[HiTech]

This sounds familiar, Alyonas 2 bags contained gifts only, cloths went in back pack. She started packing at least 1 month prior to departure.

[I/O]

I picked up a little boy from school this afternoon. He looked up with big brown eyes and said "Only one more sleep"? ~OMG~

I/O

[Kuna]

A bit more than a couple of weeks before we fly out and "she" is packing. The allowance in total is 66 KG / 3 check in luggage plus 21 KG / 3 hand luggage = total 87 KG (192 LB). It would seem 82 KG in gifts and .......... for clothes. 

I/O

I/O,

We came home with 60kg in excess baggage... *gulp*  Best of luck to you!   

I hope you have a good trip mate... I'm sure it'll be awesome!