Questions about "compliments"

[KenC]

Again, here's someone attributing one of my quotes to KenC. LOL  Either I need a better publicist or KenC needs a better makeup artist. 

Or both?

You see Scott, when you say something wise, everyone just thinks you stole it from me any way!
KenC

(edited to Scott. I guess I get you and Kuna confused )

[Kuna]

psssst... Scott... sorry... You know when you read and thread and there's lots of comments and one or two stick in your mind???  It must be that KenC is so loud and boisterous that makes him stick in my mind.

Sorry Scott...  your wisdom knows no bounds... 

 

 

[Blues Fairy]

I thrive on compliments. 

My man is good at them; he actually used a fine literary quote to compliment my online photo in his very first email to me.  A sure way to get my attention.

[Serebro]

My .02
For a RW to say that she doesn't like compliments about her looks 'smacks' of the feminist movement. "You have to respect us for our brains and NOT our bodies"... give me a break 

I don't think so, as for me I can say that it may come from my childhood when I was a really ugly child and when my classmates laughed calling me "a pretty woman".
Now I don't have problems when someone insults me but I do have problems when someone says something good about the way I look. It may sound childish but...
Last week I read newspaper where they mentioned some poll where more than 90% Russian women(93% or 95%, I don't remember exactly)don't consider themselves to be beautiful.


In fact most people who I have to deal with every day are really honest with me when they tell me about something concerning me. You may think that I choose friends who are honest and don't like sweet words but these are not only friends, but colleagues or my boss, too.

[MaxxumUSA]

Timing, timing, timing.

Quantity and quality matter - but timing is of the utmost importance.  You go to pick up a woman for a date - and it's obvious she spent a great deal of time getting ready for you, YOU BETTER tell her she looks great/beautiful/fantastic or whatever word you want to use.

BUT...  do not sit across from her at dinner and tell her 10 times how beautiful she is.  That's more creepy than appropriate.

If she's a little upset and complaining to you in her foreign tounge, this might be a good time to compliment her a bit and also lighten her anger a bit with a comment something to the effect of:  "I love it when you speak russian to me!"  Or...  "Damn you're sexy when you speak russian to me."

If you are intimate with a woman and she asks how she looks in a new outfit...  Simply give her a little growl or wink, then tell her only "take it off, now!"

If you're a ball buster (like I used to be with AW) and might minimize a compliment as a joke - DO NOT do this with a RW.  For instance - a new piece of clothing she knows she looks fantastic in...  if she asks how you like it - don't say something like "not bad" or assuming she will know you were kidding.  A RW will probably adhere to the belief that there is truth in jokes and it will be difficult to take the comment back and tell her she looks fantastic.

And one comment about lingerie.  If she shows you a piece of lingerie in a store, or otherwise without wearing it and asks what you think - grab it, look at it, look at her, throw it on the floor.  Tell her "looks perfect."  You may need to explain that this piece is on the floor because that is where it will be very shortly after she wears it around you.  LOL  If she's wearing it you probably did something right and have it figured out pretty well.  LOL

[AnastassiaAsh]

I knew you were a lingerie expert. 

[USCFAN]

Serebro -

I didn't mean to sound 'harsh' in my post. That particular subject gets to me a little bit.

I'm sorry that you had a rough childhood. However, if that is your picture in your avatar, you are a lovely young woman. I could see you getting a little uneasy if someone told you 10 time a night how beautiful you are. But, meeting up for a date, if he was a true gentleman, it would only be right for him to express sincerely that you looked nice before going out for the evening.

What's even more important than what other people say is how you feel about yourself. There are times when we all have security issues with our looks. I hope with time that you will be come more comfortable with these kind of comments.     

[ScottinCrimea]

USCFAN,  You're new at this and have yet to visit the FSU.  It might be best to avoid offering insights on how RW think or contradicting what they say on this forum until you have a few trips  and face to face experience.  Just my opinion.

[jb]

It might be best to avoid offering insights on how RW think or contradicting what they say on this forum until you have a few trips  and face to face experience.

How true,,, RWs are a different kettle of fish.  RWs are not what you are used to dealing with, they are totally unlike AW in many regards.  Whatever you thought you knew about women, (AW that is), forget about it~!  RWs are going to spoil your whole experience with women.  For the better, BTW.

[USCFAN]

USCFAN,  You're new at this and have yet to visit the FSU.  It might be best to avoid offering insights on how RW think or contradicting what they say on this forum until you have a few trips  and face to face experience.  Just my opinion.

MY BAD EVERYBODY! I'M SORRY!

See, I was under the assumption that this was a free message board where different people come to express their thoughts, ideas and opinions. I guess I didn't realize that this privilege did not apply to me ... even though most people, including a RW, basically agreed in principle with what I said.

And lord knows that even after 24 years of getting to know a lot of ladies, including some from other cultures, and the fact that I have 2 Ukrainian women that are friends and that I even asked about this ... because I haven't been there yet, I'm not allowed to express myself.

And I guess the fact that I apologized to Serebro if I came across too strong, complimented her and even wished her well doesn't mean anything either ...

Tell you what Scott, if I ever want to make another post here, I will PM it to you first to see if it meets with your approval ... mkay?

[Makkin]

USC,

  Please feel free to post you ideas and thoughts here.

Makkin

[USCFAN]

USC,

  Please feel free to post you ideas and thoughts here.

Makkin

Thanks Makkin 

[Makkin]

USC,

 
  Your very welcome friend.

Makkin

[Gator]

Blues Fairy wrote,

My man is good at them; he actually used a fine literary quote to compliment my online photo in his very first email to me.  A sure way to get my attention.

Excellent!  Not every man can do that, especially if it sounds as if it was written just for you and no other woman.

[Gator]

Maxxum,

YOU ARE THE MAN! 

Great advice.  Communicating how she makes you feel with an excited gesture is superior to verbal comments.  In fact, artful prose may not be comprehended by an RW unless she is fluent in English, and simple statement may seem insincere.   

Important - do not be crude.  RW are much more of a lady than most of our AW trained at frat parties. 

[ScottinCrimea]

USCFAN,  don't get your panties all in a bunch!  I just thought that you came on too strong (as you later admitted you did) in disagreeing with the opinions of others here and expecially with Serebro.  I certainly welcome your posts and opinions, but it's wise to qualify them somewhat if you find yourself in sharp disagreement with those who have more experience in a certain area.

Some earn their mantle of expertise here by the very nature that they are RW, some by way of multiple trips to or living in the FSU, others by virtue of being in a successful longterm relationship with a FSUW and still others just because they have gotten so many doses of the clue bat they have finally figured a few things out.

[Jazzyclassy]

I like compliments why not if they are sincere and sweet and are coming from the heart,  my boy  almost always knows when to compliment me 

well though  in general during my entire life  I receive them  so so rare, so that I do not really think of them or dream of them (till I met my boy of course)

just it was nice to hear when a week ago one young man told me that I am beautiful in the metro , yeah that is so sweet but that young man was pretty much not the best looking guy ever so I am only joking about appearance cos the main beauty is deep in my heart and soul , so even if I am not hearing compliments  it is fine I can get over it cos I really do know there are much more stunning girls around here in Moscow let them listen to compliments , and I will receive actions )) sometimes compliments can be only empty words without anything behind them..... just sweet lies , in the end of the days my boy always tells me that I look beautiful in anything he knows my soft sides

[KenC]

USCFAN,
Don't get too worked up over what Scott posted.  He is correct in many ways about this.  Of course you are free to post your ideas here.  And we are free to question the validity of those ideas.  There really is nothing you can do that can substitute the experience of "being there."  Too many people of little experience spend too much time talking and not enough time listening to those with experience IMO.  Try to obsorb as much information here from the experienced members.  It will serve you well once you get your butt on a plane and go over.  I am telling you, there is no substitution for experiencing the fsu first hand.  BTW, when are you planning on a trip?
KenC

[Yulz]

Tell you what Scott, if I ever want to make another post here, I will PM it to you first to see if it meets with your approval ... mkay?

Well, USC.. I guess it's time to go on a trip to the FSU if you want your opinions to have any credibility on this forum.. tsk tsk, Scott..

Hmm... USC, regardless of the reason why a woman might not like compliments, bottom line is she does not like compliments.. and telling her that she should like compliments would hardly be enough to change her mindset..

Personally, I love compliments.. But then, as far as I remember, people generally don't compliment each other in the FSU (other than very close friends).. as a result, some, like Jazzy, will enjoy being complimented.. others, like Serebro, may consider it patronizing and insincere.. it can really go either way..

My suggestion would be to try and refrain from giving out compliments left and right before you get to know your date better..
 

[ScottinCrimea]

Well, USC.. I guess it's time to go on a trip to the FSU if you want your opinions to have any credibility on this forum.. tsk tsk, Scott..

You're right, it's time for him to get some experience and time in the FSU before he has credibility ON SUBJECTS THAT REQUIRE JUST THAT EXPERIENCE.  We've certainly seen members here get on Jazzy when she tried to offer advice and opiniions on AW and American life when she had essentially no first hand experience in either, and.  Why should anyone else be treated differently. Now if he wants to discuss the coming season of the USC Trojans or offer directions to get to the Coliseum, for example, I would probably consider him the leading authority and listen to what he has to say.

Now why am I being put in the position of having to defend myself for essentially defending the views of the women here?  I thought you ladies liked a strong man to stand up for you.  :noidea:

[jb]

Damn~! I suppose I'm toast here, but I've always advocated that a newbie get at least the smallest bit of experience before offering comments on the forum.  Smacks of P/G before he went to his doom. 

[KenC]

You know when these silly debates about first hand experience vs. nonexperience arise, I sometimes think about a silly movie called "Blast from the Past."  It starred Brendon Fraser as a son of Christopher Walken.  The family mistakenly thinks that there has been a nuclear attack on America and they retreat to their bomb shelter for 15 or 20 years.  All during those years the Dad is trying (unsuccessfully) to explain baseball to his son.  The son thinks he understands but it is obvious that he has no clue.  As the story continues, the son must leave the shelter to gather food for his family.  While out of the shelter, he watches a baseball game and finally all those years of information his Father shared with him regarding baseball, finally all fell together and made sense.  

Going to Russia is kind of like that.  You can research all the possibilities, read everything written on the Net and even pay attention to all that is said here by those with experience, but you still wont "get it" until you go there and experience it yourself.
KenC

[Ste]

You know when these silly debates about first hand experience vs. nonexperience arise, I sometimes think about a silly movie called "Blast from the Past."  It starred Brendon Fraser as a son of Christopher Walken.  The family mistakenly thinks that there has been a nuclear attack on America and they retreat to their bomb shelter for 15 or 20 years.  All during those years the Dad is trying (unsuccessfully) to explain baseball to his son.  The son thinks he understands but it is obvious that he has no clue.  As the story continues, the son must leave the shelter to gather food for his family.  While out of the shelter, he watches a baseball game and finally all those years of information his Father shared with him regarding baseball, finally all fell together and made sense.  

Going to Russia is kind of like that.  You can research all the possibilities, read everything written on the Net and even pay attention to all that is said here by those with experience, but you still wont "get it" until you go there and experience it yourself.
KenC

These are the Rules of Cricket, quite understandable;

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.

[KenC]

Ste,
Exactly!
KenC

[ScottinCrimea]

Damn~! I suppose I'm toast here, but I've always advocated that a newbie get at least the smallest bit of experience before offering comments on the forum.  Smacks of P/G before he went to his doom. 

jb, thanks for jumping in the toaster oven with me.  Now pass the butter!

KenC, I loved that movie.  It had a lot of subtle and not so subtle social commentary thrown in.  I'm looking forward to spending as long with my wife as you have with yours.  Maybe then I'll get it.

Ste, I don't care how many times I watch cricket, I'm just not going to get it.  Understanding RW is much simpler.