Need advice for an old friend

[jb]

Gator,

If you know anything about south TX Mexican culture, you will know that Sancho is a popular myth here, raised from the dead by both sides of the marriage bed.  Sancho is what keeps the Mexican husband on his toes, and what keeps the Mexican woman on the lookout for a BBD.

[vwrw]

From JB: LOL,,,, the problem is that in a few short months or years you will not be able to perform a husband's duty at 66+ y.o., and a wife of 28 y.o. will want a little more,,, shall we say,,, physical satisfaction.   Do you need someone to draw pictures on a blackboard for you?

vwrw: in Russia we say – while a man have at least one finger on his arms and a desire to meet his wife physical need he is NOT an impotent.

It is pity you are ignoring me and you will not able to read this idea. I wish you to guess that there are more options how a husband could satisfy his wife before you are at 66+   

[Muj]

How about asking the child of a deceased parent if he had wished his father could have been there to see him graduate, be married, get to know his grandchildren...?

Scott,
All wish parents to live indefinately.  We dont have a choice in their lifespan but the parents may choose the baby's birth.  Knowing this, the question is would you choose never to be born?

[BillyB]

in Russia we say – while a man have at least one finger on his arms and a desire to meet his wife physical need he is NOT an impotent.

Well, you don't need fingers if you can perform miracles with your tongue. But luckily for men today, there are performance enhancing drugs so they could keep on going like the Energizer bunny.

[Zhena]

Yeah,
I agree that if the people write their stories on the forum and ask for an advice-you have to tell them your opinion.
But as I understand,the author wants to give an advise to his friend-but did the friend asked for an advice?  :noidea: I doubt...
jb-you ll be surprised maybe,but there are some guys who can make it without any enhancers even at their 80s. Jelaousy?
What about the kids-well,I believe that if God gave them-at any age-than it must be so. Personally I have more respect for those who deciding to have the kids at their late age than for those who purposly never had them.

[Rvrwind]

Well, you don't need fingers if you can perform miracles with your tongue. But luckily for men today, there are performance enhancing drugs so they could keep on going like the Energizer bunny.

A talent at which I surpass being as I have a nine inch tongue & breath through my ears!!!
Makes daily conversation difficult at times however, as it does get in the way at times!!!
A great conversation starter though!!!!
Well I think that degraded this thread to the point of no return>>>>>

[Jet]

But as I understand,the author wants to give an advise to his friend-but did the friend asked for an advice?  :noidea: I doubt...

This is the biggest part of Goombah's problem, the friend isn't going to listen either way, so it doesn't really matter what we think. I had an acquaintance some time back that actually did ask for advice, but wasn't ready to accept it when it turned out not to be validation. Luckily for this guy, he came to his senses in the 11th hour, but I'm convinced it had nothing to do with what I and my wife had been telling him for months. My wife had spoken to the RW and it was also "not encouraging". IIRC Lil's words to me after their conversation were something to the effect of "too many cockroaches running around this woman's head"  .

This is something these two have to do all by themselves, whether we like it or not...

(But for the record, I'm w/ jb shadow acrzybear and the rest of the trainwreck crew)

[neo]

You all know from your time spent on the forum people dont come for advice
on what they should do, they simply seek out others prepared to validate the course
of action they have already decided upon so in some way they feel it is
acceptable and they will simply dismiss all views to the contrary.

[Rvrwind]

You all know from your time spent on the forum people dont come for advice
on what they should do, they simply seek out others prepared to validate the course
of action they have already decided upon so in some way they feel it is
acceptable and they will simply dismiss all views to the contrary.

OHHH SoooooooTrue!!!! :noidea:

[ScottinCrimea]

Scott,
All wish parents to live indefinately.  We dont have a choice in their lifespan but the parents may choose the baby's birth.  Knowing this, the question is would you choose never to be born?

When the parents chose the baby's birth they also choose what sort of life that baby will have depending on the parents' circumstances.  Given your logic, then it is wrong to limit your family because of time or financial considerations and everyone would be having a dozen children, because each of these children will be happy to have been born no matter the circumstances.  It would be wrong to deny a child the right to be born because of course given the choice they would choose to have been born.  Unfortunately, they don't get that choice.  I think many would choose to delay their birth or choose different parents.

Now I would like to hear if you have any children, how many, and the reasons why you have chosen to not have children, to delay the decision, or to not have more.

Just so you know, my father was one of thirteen children, I'm one of seven and I have five children, so I know a thing or two about what the important things in life are to give a child when you decide to have one.

[Muj]

Scott,

Of course they would choose to be born .  So now the real moral question is whether the parents may care for the kids.  If the elderly man has good insurance, then it is likely.
Not advocating for couples creating kids for the sake of the (possible) rights of an unconceived child.  I comment on the moral delimma, by some, of elderly parent(s) creating a child.
The youngest in your father's family probably had older parents as a child.
My youngest sister never complained of older parents as she grew up spoiled in luxury.  I experienced my dad riding his bicycle to work/university in Minnesota in the winter as it saved on car repair and gas.
If a child chose the parents then the moral dilemma of older parents is a non arguement as the child chose the situation.

[Jazzyclassy]

Now people are really strange, I support JB here , at 65 more over at 80 many almost every man who did not have a healthy way of life can not do sex like he supposed to do it, accept this fact of life, or you gonna believe the fairy tales about one guy in a million who was like 80 Anthony Quin or  somebody, there was such an italian actor  who could make babies , but he was  1 per decade

my grandpa who is living with us is 82 he can not go outside without help of other people he can not wash himself without people , sometimes he can pee in his pants, Do you understand what are you talking about while telling that a man in his 80s can perform anything? where are you living am sorry , come down here to earth. Or do you feel envy or jealousy for such ability of my grandpa?

[Misha]

Now people are really strange, I support JB here , at 65 more over at 80 many almost every man who did not have a healthy way of life can not do sex like he supposed to do it, accept this fact of life...

If men accepted this fact then  Pfizer would be raking in the dough selling their little blue pills  BTW I have seen Viagra on sale at the little "apteka" kiosks in Russia, so I take it that some Russian men do need a boost from time to time as well.

[Jazzyclassy]

Viagra or anything else , wont help if the age is old , how can not you understand that , time has come for those people who are old , they can not eat properly and you are all babble about him having sex 

[Gator]

Jazzy,

Do you realize that you are the only actively posting RW at this board who is being judgmental about age gaps.   You are also the youngest.  Does that say something?

There are plenty of men who are also on your side.  Their reasons escape me, and I think it is more than wanting to guide lurking newbies.

Why would you deprive a man from his happiness just because it does not meet your criteria for "beautiful" or "natural"?   Quite possibly the woman is happy too.  Why is it your business?

Clearly age gap is a problem to you.   How about a kilogram gap?  Some AM are salo asses, yet are paired with skinny RW.  How about an IQ gap?  A SOH gap?  An "ugly" gap?  A breast size - penis size gap?

You remind me of "face control" police.   Do you like the concept of "face control"?Where would you draw the line for what is acceptable and unacceptable as you pretend to be God and create perfectly matched AM-RW couples?  Maybe it is best to leave this to the two people who live with the decision.  Let them sort through the many dimensions that determine compatibility and happiness.

[Zhena]

Now people are really strange, I support JB here , at 65 more over at 80 many almost every man who did not have a healthy way of life can not do sex like he supposed to do it, accept this fact of life, or you gonna believe the fairy tales about one guy in a million who was like 80 Anthony Quin or  somebody, there was such an italian actor  who could make babies , but he was  1 per decade

my grandpa who is living with us is 82 he can not go outside without help of other people he can not wash himself without people , sometimes he can pee in his pants, Do you understand what are you talking about while telling that a man in his 80s can perform anything? where are you living am sorry , come down here to earth. Or do you feel envy or jealousy for such ability of my grandpa?

Jazzy,in america I was amazed by the condition of the old people. They are very different from our FSU pensioneers. They still active and ENJOY the life. Of course,not all of them-but many. The people here simply more healthy. And Ill tell you what,if you will consider yourself old,if you ll think you re old-then you ll became old for certain. A mind plays a huge role,though many people deny that. Its silly to deny the age of course-but your condition at that age may vary.

[Zhena]

Lets see what makes us feel like we have a right to judge others? Even if has nothing to do with us personally?
Oh,we like it,cos judging makes us feel somewhat superior-we are better,of course,not like that fool We are way more successful,more smart,more lucky. So we feel like we have a right to tell to others how to live.
In fact,we dont. We can think whatever we want,but if somebody doesnt ask us the opinion-we should keep our mouth shut. Simply cos we are not God to judge and we are not perfect ourselves.

[ScottinCrimea]

We can think whatever we want,but if somebody doesnt ask us the opinion-we should keep our mouth shut. Simply cos we are not God to judge and we are not perfect ourselves.

It seems that this thread was created specifically to ask advice and opinions.  Jazzy has provided hers.  The one who started this thread can choose to pay attention to it or ignore it, just as he can with that of anyone who opted to post here.

[Zhena]

Yes,I know-the topic was created so the people suppose to react-but the author wanted an advice for his friend who actually didnt ask for an advice

[Gator]

Scott, to be specific, the thread starter asked:

Does anyone know of success stories in this range?  Any "watch outs" from somebody married to a lady 30+ years younger?

A few people read the question and responded to it, namely Zhena, VWRW, Leslie and KenC (and a couple of others that I may have missed because I find age threads so tediously repetitive.

The rest were judgments without any knowledge of Gumbah's friend and his woman.

That happens in almost every thread as if one needs to have ADD to participate at RWD.  I am also an offender at times.

[ScottinCrimea]

What was that you said Gator???    :noidea:

[Jazzyclassy]

Oi am sorry Gator if you took that so seriously and others, if you do not wanna hear the truth it's fine, I wont be contributing here , cos it seems no matter what people say with the different point of view you will always attack and prove them to be wrong, it is fine, Do I care? I do not , melt here yourself if you think that it is normal to lie to yourself first of all

[KenC]

Oi am sorry Gator if you took that so seriously and others, if you do not wanna hear the truth it's fine, I wont be contributing here , cos it seems no matter what people say with the different point of view you will always attack and prove them to be wrong, it is fine, Do I care? I do not , melt here yourself if you think that it is normal to lie to yourself first of all

Jazzy, Jazzy, Jazzy,
Before you get any more emotional, take a deep breath and try to use your powers of logic here.  Think, understand and then respond.

"you don't wanna hear the truth"  It may be your truth, but others do not agree.  It really is not a "truth" at all, it is just your "opinion" and others have a different opinion.

"you always attack" is getting very tiresome here.  Anyone that disagrees with you "attacks" you.  Next you will call Gator a bully?  Gator in no way attacked you.  His post was considerate and gentle without name calling or vindictiveness.

"lie to yourself" so your "opinion" is the "truth" and anyone that doesn't agree is a "liar"?  Think, girl think about how closed minded you are to others with a different opinion.  How can you possibly think others will be open to your ideas when you so closed to their's?

"melt here yourself" Now this is an attack on your part.  You are openly wishing bad luck on Gator for having a different opinion than yours.  That is terrible, Jazzy, it really is.
KenC

[Gator]

Jazzy,

Any man who enters a large age gap relationship knows that the conclusion is unknown.  He has hope - built on dreams, built on experience, and built on emotional feelings.  He should temper his hope based on opinions of friends and family who understand him. 

In addition, he should seek comments from those who may not know him well but who do know the unique entanglements of romancing and marrying RW.  I consider RWD the best source for this. 

The weight given to each of these sources of hope varies from man to man.  In my case, I have known my woman for 5 years and have spent well over 300 days with her.  So my personal experience and feelings carry much weight.  In fact, if it were not for the age gap, we would have married sooner. 

RWD gives me new ideas about understanding RW, how to make my journey even happier, etc.  I do not read RWD looking for an argument.  My Moscow woman and I abhor arguments.  We are calm people.  I also dislike prejudice, which you Jazzy seem to manifest on occasion.  At your very young age, you should concentrate more on keeping your mind open rather than formulating hard opinions.  In years to come, an open mind will make you so much wiser. Also, you seem to be a sensitive person, and nothing wrong with that if you can manage to recognize this as it happens.

You can choose to ignore the opinion of this man who has seen a lot in his many years.  That is your choice.  However, I will never say "listen to me or die in hell you idiot".   You seem to possess many fine qualities, and you will probably do well in life even without adjusting your ways.  However, I think you will have an even better life if .....But what do I know, I only raised sons and never had a daughter.  So I could be dead wrong.

Thanks KenC.  As usual, you saw this clearly.

[Goombah]

Just for the record, I've sent my friend the link to this discussion.  He hasn't talked to me since.  I'll let everyone know what happens.

Kevin