Yet another age difference thread

[mspanky]

Well, the age that you look does not really matter. The reality of the matter is that a 72 year old man faces health issues that a 67 year old man may not yet face. My father was quite healthy at 67 and sadly died at 72.

Also, if he made a mistake he can correct us. But usually you don't forget important events in your life and how old you were when they happened...

 Not true. The can hardly remember how old I am today let alone a certain date 10 -15-30 years ago especially if I was writting something. Also there is chronological age and real age. Some guys at 60 can be physically younger than a man who is 45! Anyway, I gotta give it to Gator, if you are older and want a little excitement in your life vwrw is the one!

[mspanky]

 I was one of the ones skeptical about Turbo and vwrw initially. But as I started reading his post he sounded like a good guy and a lot different than the old guy I pictured. He's optomistic and really has a great sense of humor. I would actually hang out with the guy . Plus he seems to take care of himself physically. I can see why vwrw is taken with him. But he is a rare one I would say this about. 99% of the time I would say this age differece is too big. But he's an exceptional guy so I make an exception!

[Misha]

Not true. The can hardly remember how old I am today let alone a certain date 10 -15-30 years ago especially if I was writting something. Also there is chronological age and real age. Some guys at 60 can be physically younger than a man who is 45! Anyway, I gotta give it to Gator, if you are older and want a little excitement in your life vwrw is the one!

Hmmm.... Not knowing how old you are today? Somebody who was less kind and polite would jokingly point out that is a sign of someone who has reached a certain age :-)

How about the 75-year-old? Would he be physically younger than the 45-year-old? It is a question of statistics. The newborn has pretty good odds of living until his next birthday, the 30 year-old is pretty much a safe bet, the 45-year-old good but getting a bit dicier, the 75-year-old would have the odds stacked against him and the 100-old would be happy to see tomorrow.

[Rvrwind]

Does Richard know about this? 

Well I ain't stiff yet, LOL.
But there are days when I feel like I got one foot in the grave & the other on a banana peel!!

[mspanky]

My grandpa died this April at 99 and he never had a day in the hospital bfore tha, Grandma is 94 and she's still very active.Really cute old lady. Goes to the beauty salon every Tuesday and watches "The Young and Restless" everyday. I must say widow seem to fare much better than widowers as she has gotten on with her life. Dare I say men are more annoying and by the time we die of old age she's usually ok with it and goes on. Widowers on the other hand seem more helpless.why?

[Misha]

My grandpa died this April at 99 and he never had a day in the hospital bfore tha, Grandma is 94 and she's still very active.Really cute old lady. Goes to the beauty salon every Tuesday and watches "The Young and Restless" everyday. I must say widow seem to fare much better than widowers as she has gotten on with her life. Dare I say men are more annoying and by the time we die of old age she's usually ok with it and goes on. Widowers on the other hand seem more helpless.why?

Why cite the exceptions? The point that I am trying to make is that yes some people survive to the age of 100, but they are the exception and the odds are against us. The question to ask: how many of your grandpa's friends, those he had when he was 10, survived along with him to the age of 99? Yes, some men do survive until the age of 100, but they are the very, very rare exceptions.

[BC]

I was one of the ones skeptical about Turbo and vwrw initially. But as I started reading his post he sounded like a good guy and a lot different than the old guy I pictured. He's optomistic and really has a great sense of humor. I would actually hang out with the guy . Plus he seems to take care of himself physically. I can see why vwrw is taken with him. But he is a rare one I would say this about. 99% of the time I would say this age differece is too big. But he's an exceptional guy so I make an exception!

Spanky,

I'm not saying TG is a bad guy, but please take the time to read his TR's and K-tribulation threads for a better picture of what really has transpired over the last year or so and don't rely only on the 'snapshot' you see right now.

Maybe I'm getting too old... it all seems like only yesterday..

[Zhena]

Zhena,

 I understand what you are saying, but we are talking about a marriage here. Love is supposed to be forever. But how many men here can say that our wife's aging would be what makes us leave in the first place? Many men leave because we want a younger model than the young one we already have!!!
 How many men here could even love a woman old enough to be mother or grandmother? How many men will stay with a wife if she gained 200lbs or became sick? They may stay, but you'd better believe a majority would have a little missy on the side if he could.


  As for being a burden, I love my parents. I will do all I can for them if they get ill.but will most children do that? Even with that, I would still be able to enjoy sexual pleasures and a relationship with someone who I can fall back on when things get too tough. I think it's harsh to judge someone who cannot handle a burden and say they cannot love. One of my cousins has an autistic son,she has refused to put him on medication or let him live in a home because she loves him and she alone should take care of him. The boy is now growing up and after puberty is getting violent but still no medication. She has not had a vacation forever. Her husband ignored. The other child,ignored.she puts all her energy in the child and has gone through severe depression. A lot of people faced with being caretaker at a young age will become depressed with the burden.

   I have a friend who has also the same situation. He and his wife are divorced. The child was loved, but they did not stop living as they both had numerous family members to help out. The son just turned 18 and is in a home. The wife is back at work and he has never stopped. they are both sane. But they had a tremendous amount of help and each had the week or weekend off from being sole caretaker.

 He is remarried but has no other child. But he has support. Many would put him down for putting his child in a home, but can I say he SHOULD carry the burden,otherwise he does not love his child???

Mspanky,too bad. Yes,if someone cannot handle a burden,I will say-you dont have enough love in your soul. Understand,I dont pretend to be a judge or a prosecutor. I am not that perfect myself. But if someone leaves his wife cos she got ill-well,I dont have any respect for that. About gaining the weight is other case,you can help to change that. But the illness is something nobody protected from. Would you like to be left in that case huh? What the cost of relationships if they fail after the first problem? I will say-those relationships are worthless. Except illness,many problems may appear. If the couple dont have any desire to get over them-they shouldnt get married at all. And your example about the parents-I dont know hows that in america,but the normal kids usually care about the parents. Personally I call them some times per week just to talk and make sure they are ok.
Sometimes we get the cross to carry. If that happens-it happens not occasionally. If you ll drop that cross,be sure that life will give you another,much heavier.

[Turboguy]

First off yes, I have said I was hear to learn and I have learned a ton of stuff here that has been very beneficial.   I have never said I was here to decide if VWRW and I are right for each other.  I have no doubts about that.  

As far as the statement that I had lied to VWRW about my age in the beginning this is the first I ever knew about it.   If I did I was unaware of it and she has never mentioned it and I have never heard it mentioned here so I think someone has their facts confused on that.  

As far as the Carter statement that was a slip.   Most of my life I have been fairly comfortable but as happens to many people in business there was one time that was a big struggle and one time that was really bad.   As I think back to the episode when Carter did the economy in, I came through that fairly well even thought the two companies that provided 85% of my income both went out of business within a few months of each other.   My problems that were in 85 were different and one of those things you would never expect but sometimes the unexpected happens.

No, I am not 67.  If you wait long enough I hope to get there.  

BC, you are right about not taking a break after Luda went back.  I was in Ukraine 3 weeks after she returned and made two more trips the following month.   I felt I had wasted a year on her and did not feel like wasting more time.  I have not read what I wrote about Luda for a long time.   There may be some similarities in what I wrote but there are very few similarities in the type of person VWRW is and Luda was and very few similarities in the type of relationship we have.  

Mspanky, thanks.  That was a nice compliment.

VWRW and I are not looking for any guarantees.  My great grandfather made it to 98.  My one grandfather made it to 88.  My mother is still alive at 94.  We hope we might have 20 good years together but either one of us could be hit by a truck tomorrow.  We are going into this having had many very detailed discussions about the possibilities and how we were going to deal with them.  

[mspanky]

Spanky,

I'm not saying TG is a bad guy, but please take the time to read his TR's and K-tribulation threads for a better picture of what really has transpired over the last year or so and don't rely only on the 'snapshot' you see right now.

Maybe I'm getting too old... it all seems like only yesterday..

I'm  gonna go and read those  TR's right now!!!

[Zhena]

??? ??? ???

Just what does Ranetka have to do with YOUR visa troubles when she expressly states she DID NOT marry for immigration and was not part of the GC girls statistic?  Can you read English?

Come on. Why would she did it then? She was 31yo. Why not to wait more and choose someone younger if thats such a problem? I wont eat that she didnt realize anything and very loved her future husband. I simply dont believe that. Once she got her passport,she found that impossible to bear and decided that she deserves something better. Now tell me,why she didnt think that while lived in FSU?

[Hub]

Regardless of which message board it is, I usually just hate it when somebody pipes up and accuses a newcomer with an elaborate story as being a troll.

But I just can't resist the urge here to discern a little bit about Ranetka.

Turbo and VWRW are taking a substantial beating in many threads.  Many of the guys are growing weary of trying to convince Turbo and VWRW of their impending train wreck.

So what better way to put forth some new evidence than to have a RW step forward and spill the beans about her mistake of already having done what Turbo and VWRW are planning to do.  Most of the guys here put RWs on a pedestal, so something coming from a RW is thought to carry much more weight than from another mortal being.

Of course none of us are under any obligation to take any steps to prove our veracity or our actual being.  But how about if Renetka would be so kind as to make private message contact with a couple of the RW who are already living here in USA and then following up with a phone call between them?  But please pick one of the RW who has not already indicated she is strongly against age gap marriages, or we would just think that you actually were she, or she were you!!

So how about it Renetka; will you do this as a kind favor?

[wxman]

The average life expectency of a white man in the US is 75 years, so half will die after 75, and half will die before 75. What does that mean? Nothing, just a stat. So if TG dies in 5 years, and in that 5 years TG and vwrw have a very happy life, who are we to judge? VWRW will have shared 5 wonderful years with a man she loves. Doesn't seem like a tragedy. The fact is that a few members on this site will likely die within the next year. That's the law of averages. Now we can all focus on what will be 20 years from now with the people we love, but 20 years may not come for some of us, and that includes the younger ones and well as the older ones. People in this world worry too much about what the future will bring, when in fact, many will not see the sun rise tomorrow.  

[William3rd]

Ranetka- dont bother- why should you put any effort or time or money into "proving" yourself to the audience here. Your posts stand for whatever value are in them and your credibility will be proved or disproved by your continued posts.

Fresh blood are not necessarily trolls and yet seasoned veterans sometimes take on troll like qualities.

As far as the ongoing TG saga goes, who really cares anymore? The debacle of several months ago and resulting suspension, which sapped the credibility of this pair-I am surprised that the female still posts here at all, still looms in the background. They will sink (or swim) regardless of the opinions on these boards.

[Zhena]

Anyway,I would like to say sorry to Ranetka to sound harsh maybe. Since I dont still think you re innocent in making your mistake,I dont have any right to blame you. I dont know what your life was look like in FSU. I also suppose you wanted a family bad cos of your age. You know,anything is possible to explain. But still I think that people should be responsible for what they do.
I dont think I ll say something else in this topic,I said all I wanted. Just surprised how many people didnt think about this possibility before :brightidea: and that Ranetkas post was something new and unusual for them...Anyway,glad they will think now

[Turboguy]

Turbo and VWRW are taking a substantial beating in many threads.  Many of the guys are growing weary of trying to convince Turbo and VWRW of their impending train wreck.

Heck, if they would have asked me if that were worth doing I could have told them to save their breath.

[mspanky]

William3rd,

 Spill the beans. You must come across a lot of these situations in your practice. What have you seen or heard.

[BC]

The average life expectency of a white man in the US is 75 years, so half will die after 75, and half will die before 75. What does that mean? Nothing, just a stat. So if TG dies in 5 years, and in that 5 years TG and vwrw have a very happy life, who are we to judge? VWRW will have shared 5 wonderful years with a man she loves. Doesn't seem like a tragedy. The fact is that a few members on this site will likely die within the next year. That's the law of averages. Now we can all focus on what will be 20 years from now with the people we love, but 20 years may not come for some of us, and that includes the younger ones and well as the older ones. People in this world worry too much about what the future will bring, when in fact, many will not see the sun rise tomorrow.   

wx,

Having lost a sibling, aged 18, I can identify a bit with your line of thinking.  But I'll be damned if I'm going to live my life as if there may be no tomorrow, nor will I live my life thinking I'll live to 100.  I'm 47 now and would be absolutely elated to still be alive and somewhat healthy in another 30 years when I'm 77, my wife is 60 and our youngest child 36.  I could not imagine though stretching my luck any further than that.

As with many things in life, moderation is the true 'key'.  Yes, I do have a bit of a hard time with those seeking RW extremes. If I want a 'thrill' I'd much rather go to the circus than watch a train-wreck here.. After all, the circus folks are truly professionals and not like us, amateurs playing with fire.

[William3rd]

Cant see very many left with an over 25 year difference, even 20 is stretching it. In fact, I dont see any left at all. Train wrecks and the like. The green card was the usual bright line test, a few of the men died of natural causes, and then there were none left at all in that age division.

However, I do not think the March/November "matches" skew the overall stats all that much-the failure rates are depressingly high as it is.

[BC]

Anyway,I would like to say sorry to Ranetka to sound harsh maybe. Since I dont still think you re innocent in making your mistake,I dont have any right to blame you. I dont know what your life was look like in FSU. I also suppose you wanted a family bad cos of your age. You know,anything is possible to explain. But still I think that people should be responsible for what they do.
I dont think I ll say something else in this topic,I said all I wanted. Just surprised how many people didnt think about this possibility before :brightidea: and that Ranetkas post was something new and unusual for them...Anyway,glad they will think now

Zhena,

Ranetka's wish for motherhood, even belated, is quite valid IMHO and is not the first instance where a relationship met it's demise with a member here for similar reasons.

[wxman]

wx,

Having lost a sibling, aged 18, I can identify a bit with your line of thinking.  But I'll be damned if I'm going to live my life as if there may be no tomorrow, nor will I live my life thinking I'll live to 100.  I'm 47 now and would be absolutely elated to still be alive and somewhat healthy in another 30 years when I'm 77, my wife is 60 and our youngest child 36.  I could not imagine though stretching my luck any further than that.

As with many things in life, moderation is the true 'key'.  Yes, I do have a bit of a hard time with those seeking RW extremes. If I want a 'thrill' I'd much rather go to the circus than watch a train-wreck here.. After all, the circus folks are truly professionals and not like us, amateurs playing with fire.

BC

I'm not saying live life like there is no tomorrow, but instead appreciate each and every day that you have. We don't know what tomorrow will bring, but we do know what today has brought. Too many never see the good moments of today.

I'll never understand why so many are focused on TG and VWRW and why so many topics end up focused on their relationship. I want them to have a happy life together, no matter how long it may be. That I wish for everyone here.

[Eastguy]

Regardless of which message board it is, I usually just hate it when somebody pipes up and accuses a newcomer with an elaborate story as being a troll.

But I just can't resist the urge here to discern a little bit about Ranetka.

Turbo and VWRW are taking a substantial beating in many threads.  Many of the guys are growing weary of trying to convince Turbo and VWRW of their impending train wreck.

So what better way to put forth some new evidence than to have a RW step forward and spill the beans about her mistake of already having done what Turbo and VWRW are planning to do.  Most of the guys here put RWs on a pedestal, so something coming from a RW is thought to carry much more weight than from another mortal being.

Of course none of us are under any obligation to take any steps to prove our veracity or our actual being.  But how about if Renetka would be so kind as to make private message contact with a couple of the RW who are already living here in USA and then following up with a phone call between them?  But please pick one of the RW who has not already indicated she is strongly against age gap marriages, or we would just think that you actually were she, or she were you!!

So how about it Renetka; will you do this as a kind favor?

Thats asking a bit much of a femal newbie.

Why shuld she have to establish any bonafides?
And what would her [ossible interest be.\

Why are so many people trolling on the post of  a member like that?

[BC]

BC

I'm not saying live life like there is no tomorrow, but instead appreciate each and every day that you have. We don't know what tomorrow will bring, but we do know what today has brought. Too many never see the good moments of today.

I'll never understand why so many are focused on TG and VWRW and why so many topics end up focused on their relationship. I want them to have a happy life together, no matter how long it may be. That I wish for everyone here.

wx,

I understand. Your philosophy is a good one.

Regarding TG and VW, IMHO it's all in 'the history' and the fact that they will 'chip in' almost instantly when an age related thread starts.

I have told TG more than once that it is probably best to take his relationships off-board and give their efforts a chance to grow in relative peace, but even that advice is (obviously) highly disregarded.  In fact, for quite some time we have both parties highly involved.

I won't speculate on their motivations for doing such.

[Muj]

Cant see very many left with an over 25 year difference, even 20 is stretching it. In fact, I dont see any left at all. Train wrecks and the like. The green card was the usual bright line test, a few of the men died of natural causes, and then there were none left at all in that age division.

However, I do not think the March/November "matches" skew the overall stats all that much-the failure rates are depressingly high as it is.

William3rd,
Good point. 

BC, Ranetka, seems primarily focused on the age difference causing the breakup.  She seems to offer having a child as a secondary reason.  Most agree 31 is adult, experienced, and accountable for life decisions.  She knew and saw his advanced age prior to any visa. 

[BC]

BC, Ranetka, seems primarily focused on the age difference causing the breakup.  She seems to offer having a child as a secondary reason.  Most agree 31 is adult, experienced, and accountable for life decisions.  She knew and saw his advanced age prior to any visa. 

Muj,

In the heat of passion, or lust, a lot of crazy things happen regardless of age.

I know, luckily though I also learned along the way.  Looking back, even at 30 I was still pretty flakey so I'm not gonna throw stones.

Cheers!