SCAM & DECEIT gets more refined - READ THIS PLEASE!!!

[mspanky]

FSURookie,

 The proof was in those pictures. Her eyes and face sure did not show a woman in love. But then again,what does a 19 year old know about love? Nothing at all.

[FSUrookie]

Thanks to all on & off board for your comments, suggestions and support.
Well, here's my updates / responses to the latest posts....
0) I see everyone's points on the smiles or lack of in the photos, however, we smiled and laughed many times, but didn't catch it on film. And for me, in a lot of my photos I never smile, but I can tell you for sure, that did not mean I wasn't happy. As for sparkle in the eyes, this IS a very good point. But remember, I was always taking into account her age and the fact that she was shy and very sheltered, and we did laugh many times (off camera) so don't over-weigh the photos. I know everyone is trying to be helpful, and I know everyone would like my scam to be more cut and dry, but it just wasn't that way. I did get burned by a 19 year old pro (with her best friend as an accomplice).
1) Remember, this was a slick scam. I know we talk on the board and point out the flags, but when your living the moment, you can be faced with hundreds of "small" flags, and being cautious your mind has to make "real time" decisions, and you have to decide whether to keep moving forward or if any flag is a deal-breaker. It's always easier to lookback and play Monday morning quarterback and say what should have been down right down to every detail. So, in real life all you can do is listen to others who have been there (good advice on this board), and learn from our real experiences.
2) Maria, as we all know, was very young, 19. She was the shy & sheltered type, and as we know now, she had many bad influences (her mother and best friend). She was NOT a party girl, never drank or smoked, etc... BUT, she obviously was pretty smart, in more ways than one.
3) YES, going in my ideal age range for my lady was 25-35. I chose Maria against my gut feeling which was initally to not consider her solely because of her age, but the agency said that she one of the nicest and family-oriented & proper girls they had interviewed. So I rolled the dice. And, I am not blaming the agency on this one. In the end no one was right about Maria. The facts the agency did tell me about Maria were accurate, however she fooled everyone with her lies. NO agency can prevent all scammers from being in their system.
4) It WAS a SCAM. I supported her financially as well, but only in small amounts, and only AFTER we became engaged, and ONLY by my free will.
5) The timeline never changed. She was to finish college in Spring - Summer 2008, and then we would begin filing the K-1 VISA. That was pretty much the plan all along and it corresponded to the completion of her University studies.
6) YES, I have learned my lesson, but actually I already knew going in that a 19 year old was rolling the dice, but of course, like many, I felt that I could be one of those exceptions. And throughout the relationship, it all looked good...
7) I think there was something there at some point (real feelings between me and Maria) however, I think with her young age, bad influences, and obvious intent on scamming money, that the scam and the prospect of easy money became more important than the relationship for Maria at some point.
Looking back, yah there were a lot of little things that could have been considered "small flags". But, I tried to play by the rules, be cautious and alert of what I knew from other's experiences and my own experiences, and I tried not to over-analyze the situation.
9) This may not have been new to many, but it WAS one of the slickest that I have seen...
10) I am determined to do my part to stop women like Maria and her best friend Marina from burning others.
11) Remember, just because a guy got burned does not always mean that he was at fault for the whole deal. We all have points in our life where we try to give others our trust, and the only way to build a real relationship there must be some trust. I mean people get robbed, raped and murdered every day, does this mean the victims are at fault always? No, of course not. Wrongs happen to people everywhere everyday, because we are a free society, and in a free society people can take advantage of others, just as they can in Ukraine.
12) Let me say again....This is what I learned; a) never date anyone younger than 25 or so. TOO much risk in the 18-24 group. b) There are exceptions to every rule, but it is best to play the odds for better success. c) MAIN POINT; even if you follow the rules and use good common sense, and listen to the advise here on RWD, YOU CAN STILL GET BURNED.... So always use caution in this FSU dating scene....
13) ONCE AGAIN.... My biggest point here is that I WANT TO DO MY PART TO HELP PREVENT WOMEN LIKE THIS FROM SCAMMING OTHER MEN.... If we do not step up and speak up, these women will continue to grow and flourish....
14) STAY TUNED.... BECAUSE... A FRIEND OF MINE (WHOS GRANDFATHER IS A TOP OFFICIAL WITH THE UKRAINIAN NATIONAL POLICE) HAS INFORMED ME THAT THAT THEY ARE INTERESTED IN PROSECUTING A SCAM LIKE MINE BECAUSE INTERNATIONAL DATING SCAM IS BECOMING A HUGE PROBLEM< EVEN MORE THAN REPORTED IN UKRAINE.... SO I will let everyone know where this goes, if anywhere....
Thanks again for everyone's support......

[sunandsail]

STAY TUNED.... BECAUSE... A FRIEND OF MINE (WHOS GRANDFATHER IS A TOP OFFICIAL WITH THE UKRAINIAN NATIONAL POLICE) HAS INFORMED ME THAT THAT THEY ARE INTERESTED IN PROSECUTING A SCAM LIKE MINE BECAUSE INTERNATIONAL DATING SCAM IS BECOMING A HUGE PROBLEM

It is a SCAM, it is horrible behavior, but to prosecute there must be a legal crime.  What would it be in this case?

BTW, thank you for sharing your story.

[FSUrookie]

Thanks sunandsail. I'm not a Ukraine law person, but I was told today by someone in the Ukraine "system" that they are interested in filing some type of charges. I am not sure what legal ground there would be, but I will keep everyone posted. It would be nice If us American men, and others could fight back against this horrible and sick behavior that some women in Ukraine think is an acceptable way of moving up the ladder in Ukraine. So, is Ukraine really growing? Until they have a real middle class, seems like only foreign investors with money an the elite rich are the only ones making real money in Ukraine, though I agree some conditions have improved for others..... Thanks again for the feedback....
Oh one other thing....personally I don't want to hurt Maria, because she is only 19, and she is human and made some mistakes here. However, we need to put a foot down to what is becoming a mega-bucks business in scamming rich and middle-class American men.....

[acrzybear]

FSURookie

  You got burned, it happens. Not to make light of your situation but looking at the pictures you've posted I don't get that genuine feeling I usually get when I look at pictures of a truely loving couple.  I can't explain what's missing but I look at the pictures and my first thought is "he has a nice looking sister". 

 Having dealt with people in every emotional state you can think of for the last 13+ years I'll give you some free advice-don't get caught up in getting back at her. Don't eat yourself up thinking of ways of how to get revenge.  Acknowledge that you were burned and get on with your life.  The best revenge you can have is to find a better lady and live a good life.

 Just some free advice you can take it or leave it.

[FSUrookie]

I agree with you acrzybear almost 100%. Great advice. Many of my friends have told me your exact words. I want to stress though, my only intent is to do my part to help others from getting burned. I am NOT a retaliation / retribution type of person. It is not in my blood. However, Maria DOES need to be barred from dating agencies in Ukraine, and her name does need to be put on some sort of black list. I'm not sure where the legal stuff would go, but I only mention it, because if there is a way that we can make the system safer for others, then I am all for it. Honestly, this has nothing to do with having anger towards Maria, though someone does need to let her know that what she did is NOT acceptable behavior in any society..... For me, it's all about Principals and helping others and accountability, it is NOT about Maria.... And yes, I have already began to move on, thanks to all the great people and good friends on these forums and in my life...... Take care....

[mspanky]

 You know it's difficult to just sit there when you know this can potentially happen to someone else. I'm not saying to prosecute. But the fact you have pictures up o the internet and her first name will maybe help someone else.

[Maxx2]

FSUrookie. She could be your age or older and still be a grey scammer or GCG. Most GCGs I notice are in their late thirties early forties. Many of these women are desperate to get to and stay in the West. They do not want to grow old in the FSU. Their fading looks are their last chance to get what they really want. Near the same age should be no assurance.

Sorry to hear this. Your posting so many pictures of her tells me there are still feeling there.


Maxx

[FSUrookie]

Of course there are still some feelings. I was in love for almost a year, and I gave this girl everything in my heart. We both said we loved each other many times. And having been with other FSU and American women, Maria (Masha) was the most decent, proper and kind girl that I ever met. No she wasn't a party-girl, french-kiss, horny in your face type, but she WAS the type of personality i was looking for. As for the money, once she gained my trust, especially after meeting her family and becoming engaged, she could have burned me for A WHOLE LOT MORE!!!
I say again....CAUTION TO ALL.... And yes, it can happen with any age FSU woman...
One other thing on the photos, and also my additional postings; I am just trying to give everyone the big picture and a better idea of the whole relationship.... Hopefully my SCAM story will help others avoid scam in their journey.....
It remains a shocker that it went down this way.....
I know in time, I will find someone that will have me forget Maria, and to be honest, after learning the facts of her cheating on me during our engagement, I guess I don't even really know who the "real" Maria (Ryzhkova) is......
Life goes on.....

[Admin]

Of course there are still some feelings. I was in love for almost a year, and I gave this girl everything in my heart. We both said we loved each other many times. And having been with other FSU and American women, Maria (Masha) was the most decent, proper and kind girl that I ever met. No she wasn't a party-girl, french-kiss, horny in your face type, but she WAS the type of personality i was looking for. As for the money, once she gained my trust, especially after meeting her family and becoming engaged, she could have burned me for A WHOLE LOT MORE!!!
I say again....CAUTION TO ALL.... And yes, it can happen with any age FSU woman...
One other thing on the photos, and also my additional postings; I am just trying to give everyone the big picture and a better idea of the whole relationship.... Hopefully my SCAM story will help others avoid scam in their journey.....
It remains a shocker that it went down this way.....
I know in time, I will find someone that will have me forget Maria, and to be honest, after learning the facts of her cheating on me during our engagement, I guess I don't even really know who the "real" Maria (Ryzhkova) is......
Life goes on.....

I just reviewed your posts in this topic looking for your report on what she said once confronted with what you discovered. If you posted it here, or elsewhere, I missed it. Have you had any contact with her since you learned of the betrayal? What has she said - if anything?

As for the "blacklist somewhere" - for what its worth, I am not a proponent of blacklists in any form. At the same time, the overwhelming desire to see some form of 'justice' done is quite natural. I think you are taking appropriate 'healthy' steps - first, by providing your story so that others may be informed and learn from the experience. Next, I hope you will start planning your future in a manner to avoid the mistakes of the past - more educated and better-informed than previously.

Sometimes life sucks. It *will* get better - and you *will* be happier.

Hang in there.

FWIW

- Dan

[wxman]

FSU,

I feel for you. It will get better with time. Not tomorrow, but gradually. You will find a true gem.

As far as Maria, I don't know if this is her, but if it is her, she is still on at least one site. Perhaps you can notify the site about her.

http://bridefromukraine.com/woman_profile/1105/1/

[FSUrookie]

Thanks Dan. Yes, life does suck sometimes, and I WILL move on....
As for Maria's response. I have on several occasions tried to reach her via email, SMS and cell phone, and also thru her friend in Kharkov who speaks English and Russian (Alona who attends the same University as Maria), and we had set a few times to do a 3-way, however Maria has failed to show (at Alona's house), and I have made her friend Alona aware of the situation (who I do not believe had any knowledge of Maria's escapade). Alona was in shock and crying, and she said that Maria never told her any of this and that Maria lied to her saying that Maria told her she wanted to move to Germany because her mother told her she had to, and of course I even offered to move to Germany with her (before I knew that she was cheating on me).
Now, it's definitely over, and Alona asked me to try calling this Saturday to do a 3-way and speak with Maria.
Essentially, Maria and her best friend Marina Lazarenko now do know that they have been caught, however Maria now continues to avoid all my calls and has not responded....

Yes, that is her on the site you listed.... Who knows how many guys she is scamming or engaged to? And now she is hopping from site to site to avoid detection, as she gave that guy Kim (in the pics I posted) a false name (Karina)..... Thanks for the info...

[Lit_1nce]

FSUrookie-- First let me say, sorry to hear that things ended so badly.

I don't know about other people, but I am having a hard time considering this a flat out SCAM. She is an awful person for doing what she did to you by seeing someone else, and most especially after being engaged.. however there are instances and circumstances where that might happen, and WHILE STILL WRONG still not be a SCAM.. But it is good (in a painful way) that it was found out now, and worse mistakes were not made.

The money thing is the money thing.. neither here nor there in this case.. I think what really is bothering you, is she scammed your feelings. If it happened to me,  I am sure I'd be calling her a scammer too, because that may be easier on me than the alternative.. which is to say she cheated on me.

But you have more facts on the whole thing. So if I am out of line I apologize. Acrzybear nailed it.. be truly happy with someone else it's the sweetest revenge.

[wxman]

Perhaps this discussion will help others from falling for her in the future. If someone googles her name, it will show this discussion as a link. 

[FSUrookie]

Yes, she was a scammer. There is more, and I will continue to post in the days ahead.... At the same time i am trying to help others, I also want to move on with my life..... Thanks for the feedback....

P.S. Also beware, I know that she is preparing to change her surname soon......

[Shadow]

FSURookie, it is time to move on.
What she did was deceit, and depending on the number of guys she was engaged to at the same time, and what she received from them, it can be labeled as scam.
However there are a number of things you should understand.
1. All you sent was of free will, and you still feel it was not abused, true or not we don't know. Do not regret it, as you did not send it foolishly.
2. As I imagine you are now her FORMER fiancee. You have no right to get her removed from agency profiles. She is not engaged to you, and as such free to post profiles. All you can do is make sure this story comes up when someone googles her, hoping to make the guy think about going ahead.
3. Helping guys out is done best by trying to find out the subtle things that you overlooked, not by forever bearing a grudge.
4. Stop defending the relationship. You posted a lot more pictures than I have, and there is not one that gives me the feeling of a couple in love. The best I can describe her look is a cat that caught a mouse.

What you should do now is regret it for some time, leave it behind you, then look for a woman that will love you for who you are. the moment you find her, you will feel and know the difference.

[Jazzyclassy]

I  agree with Shadow , I think you  should go on it is hard for you to get over it, but you need to understand that there was your fault as well , no matter how hard you are denying it, you were blind enough to ever think it was something genuine and sincere feeling.....

try to forget it and move on

[FSUrookie]

I hear you guys.... And I respect everyone's opinion...
Regardless though of who was at fault, we know this fact;
She DID violate our trust, agreement and commitment of engagement, and accepted my money for University classes in August while we know for a FACT that she was cheating on me in June. FACT, PERIOD! Yes, I gave her money of my free will, and most guys give money of their free will. I have never read where the girl stuck a gun to anyone's head and said give me your money. I think we all get the point here. Almost everyone gives money to the woman of their free will. Thing is I didn't start this post to weep endlessly for months, or to debate whether this is a scam or deceit, or to get mad at any fellow forum posters, or to even expect that all would agree with me. As said, this forum is serving notice for other who enter into a "sacred" commitment of engagement to be married with a FSU woman to be on guard.
So, Yes, I do accept some blame for even starting a relationship with a 19 year old, and yes, I agree and have said, there is some sparkle missing in the photos, however, it does not justify or make ok what she did to me and possibly others, and now I have done my part to notify others of her actions. Thanks to all for helping me thru this. Believe me, anyone who knows me well, knows that I will get thru this, no doubt. In the meantime, I am doing my public service and putting the word out on her of what we know that she did and was FACTUAL. This is only week one, and and this forum thread is still young, so I still feel some obligation to respond to my fellow posters, and I have done that.
I say again, I have begun to move on with my life, and you can take that to the bank because it is true, but I am also making sure to do complete my contribution to others (especially those reading the forums for the first time). Thanks again to all.... This is how we all become better informed, and it helps others to make a more educated decision in their FSU journey.....

[William3rd]

I disagree in part with Shadow here. You have EVERY right to attempt to get her removed from agency profiles. You post your story and inform any agencies that you find her on about the misadventure.

However, you will tire of scanning the net for her after a few months.

Unless she is doing the tuition scam with other men, I see her more as a tramp than a scammer.

[USCFAN]

Sorry about your story Rook ...

We are close to the same age and I know I simply could not consider someone 19 years old. She is quite beautiful so I can see how you became interested in her.

When I get to Ukraine next week, I'm sure my head will turn quite a few times by some very young, nubile ladies ... I just have to keep telling myself 'no' ... and not even let an attraction start.

Thanks for sharing your situation and best of luck in the future ...

[Kuna]

Unless she is doing the tuition scam with other men, I see her more as a tramp than a scammer.

Agreed... whilst FSURookie seemed to be doing all of the right things the basis of the relationship was frangile when the girl was so young.  That's not even an age gap type comment... Simply... young girls rarely know what they really want.

Either way the outcome is very sad...  and we can only hope that others learn from this experience.


FSUrookie...

Take some time out and get your thoughts straight before starting your search again.  You're obviously hurting a lot at the moment (and for good reason) and a bit of a break will better prepare you for the journey should you wish to continue.

All the best..

Kuna

Kna

[WmGO]

.
12) Let me say again....This is what I learned; a) never date anyone younger than 25 or so. TOO much risk in the 18-24 group.

I am tuning it for the purpose of emphasizing the above. I used to say this all the
time on the old PL board. FSUW in the under 25 years old age group should be avoided like the plague. WM are just fooling themselves when they get involved with FSUW under 25 years old.

I also want to point out this: never say no to your gut instincts!!!! Rookie broke this rule and see where it got him. WM do this all the time, and try to rationalize away the matters that there guts tell them is wrong as some kind of "cultural difference". 97.5% of the time it isn't a cultural difference, it is FIRE!!

Finally, and some may find this impossible or puzzling or just simply disagree, but I am certain that one can learn a lot about someone, in this case FSUW, from their photos. Not just photos of them during a meeting, but their photos on the agency/internet websites. I believe that character issues such as insincerity, immaturity, self absorption, prima donnaism, and even certain more serious psychological pathologies can be detected by studying women's photos, most notably their eyes. Not necessarily in every case, but certainly much more often than not IMO. Of course it does require perhaps  a certain amount of skill and intuition that some  may simply not have..............
{Apparently most WM do not possess this ability as I have seen time and time again where WM seem to be oblivious to what jumps out at me from viewing a woman's photo as reveallng a problem.....I think the average WM is just too needy, too hopefull, too lacking in astuteness to detect problems until it is too late............FWIW.}

[WmGO]

However, we need to put a foot down to what is becoming a mega-bucks business in scamming rich and middle-class American men.....

Dude,

It didn't just become a mega bucks business. It has been that way for over a decade. And the prime culprit is the Western men who pursue ridiculous age gaps, especially their delusional pursuit of 18 to 23/24 year old FSUW.........AND their constant monetary feeding of these insincere users (regardless of age)............as long as WM are foolish enough to keep sending/giving these women money and buying them things they will keep accepting...........

[Gator]

FSURookie,

Your name makes me think that you are a freshman at Florida State (the same age as your two-timing teenager).

So now you know that "young juicy girls" are not the way to go.

I have something else to tell you.  About your feelings. 

You are feeling some pain now from betrayal and broken dreams.  However, I assert that you are not feeling pain from a broken heart (love).  Your feelings were more about lust and infatuation than love. 

Real love develops only when the feeling is mutual.  Clearly she did not love you or she would not be sleeping with others.

Love feeds upon the other's love, eventually building into true love.  It takes time for which there is no substitute.  Your type of feeling is usually described as hormonally driven.  Being in a rebound can exaggerate your feelings. 

For sure what you felt is strong; however, studies show that it lasts maybe two years, to be replaced by a deeper feeling if that is possible as the two of you grow to understand each other and your relationship. 

So recognize that fact the next time you get involved with a woman.  Take your time, enjoy her company, see what develops, and think about it with the wisdom you have gained from this experience.

By the way, I can understand your lust.  She has a fantastic body.  Did you read the BIG HOOTERS thread?  Any more revealing photos to share (in this case I do not think we need the woman's permission - just kidding, don't do it).   

Regarding mystics who claim to be able read a woman's character and mind through her photos, I have my doubts.  I say this not just because I lack such skills, but because these women are individuals and all are different. Some emote; others do not.  Some can act; others can not.

[Turboguy]

Regarding mystics who claim to be able read a woman's character and mind through her photos, I have my doubts.  I say this not just because I lack such skills, but because these women are individuals and all are different. Some emote; others do not.  Some can act; others can not.

If anyone doubts what Gator is saying here just think about the photos used to scam guys on Match.com   Have you ever seen photos with a more honest, girl next door, daughter you wished you had look than those scam artists.   I have been scammed more than most and believe me anyone looking at photos of the ones who scammed me would think those gals were the pillar of desirability and honesty.   You can't judge a book by it's cover and you can't judge a girl by her photos.