Resource's to find RW's or UW's or any W but an AW

[Jooky]

there is no woman that has walked this continent that has treated me as well as Vika (and I reciprocated).

To find a woman who treats you well sounds reasonable. You probably wrack your brain wondering if this one simple thing is too much to ask for. I thought you were going to commence reciting the agency description of the mythical Russian woman.

Do keep in mind that as princes come to the rescue we do often receive preferential treatment in the FSU. The princess we bring home might (or might not) change upon arrival, quickly adapt to our culture, or regret her rescue. Unfortunately by the time most men figure this out they are married for better or for worse. Take your time, keep a level head, and know what you are getting yourself into.

I'll present a more optimistic side. I have no doubts that you can find another woman that will treat you as well as Vika did. She is probably easier to find in Russia than in Billings Montana. However, I recommend expanding your dating options, not limiting them. You can meet women from all over the state, country, and the world via the internet.

I think the hardest part of dating for most men is making that first contact. You can spot an attractive woman in a nightclub, in the super market, or simply walking down the street, approach her, and without her knowing the first thing about you she will turn you down. No contact made.

You could be introduced to that same woman at a friend's party, at school, or at work. In these situations there exists a context where already you are not just another face in the crowd. You are not a stranger, but the guy she's heard good things about, the student who brings up interesting discussion, or the hard worker on his way up the company ladder. (Or maybe not, but you get the point). In normal life situations, making the first contact is much easier.

The same woman that would reject you at the night club or walking down the street, might end up attracted to you if she met you under different circumstances. It's happened to me!

As we get older, of course, these good first contact opportunities become more and more limited. Resorting to hunting women at the local bar or approaching random women on the street just does not appeal to most men.

Internet dating attempts to alleviate this problem. Approaching strangers is expected and you can present enough information in your initial contact so that you are not immediately judged simply by your pretty or not so pretty face. You can expand your dating pool across America by using regular internet dating sites. The main problem is that as the popularity of internet dating grows, more people can find their matches locally and replies from across the country often make it to the trash bin without a second glance.

The so called MOB business eliminates the problem of the first contact. As a foreigner who can travel you already meet requirement number one - you are financially stable and can provide a good life. You also have much less competition than back home. There are more women than men who get involved in this, and most men never hop on that plane. So any woman that you write to will likely read what you have to say. First contact made.

I don't believe in the myths of the ideal Russian woman and the detestable American woman. There are good and bad everywhere and a truly good match these days seems hard to find. Internet dating and especially overseas dating opens up your world to a myriad of opportunities. You will encounter many more women. Not better, not worse. Simply more. But with more opportunities, the greater your odds of finding what you are looking for.

So use the net, use ICQ, use dating sites. Expand, but don't limit. These are all simply tools to initiate that first hard to make contact. The rest is up to you.

Good luck.

 

[solomon]

I can only assume that you are kidding.

[/quote]

I am absolutely not kidding. Other than her delightful Russian accent, my wife of almost 4 years is as Americanized as any of her USA bred sisters. They adjust and adapt very quickly.[/quote]
YMMV for each individual, but jb is pretty close to the truth on this.  My wife has been here for 15 months, and has adapted her lifestyle and habits to more resemble an American than I think she has even noticed.  There were several occasions on her current trip home where she even was irritated by attitudes and things in Russia that she would not had ever noticed if not for being in America for some time.

For some background, she is in her mid-30's, and always been a bit of a rebellious one (Mama calls her the "Miraculous Child").  But the older a person is, the less quickly/likely they will change their ways.  But there is now a strong blend of both American and Russian ways about her.  I can only expect that this will continue.

Last night, I spent the evening with a couple who's wife is younger (mid 20's) who has been in the US for almost two years.  Her 'adjustment" has happened at even a quicker pace than my wife's.

All people change, especially when a large change is made to their environment.  It is foolish to think otherwise...
[/quote]If what you guys are saying is true, I still dont understand why we are wasting our time? I might as well marry some AW that I cant stand and give her half of my assets.

[jb]

Might as well....

[BC]

Yup.

If anyone is trained to see thru BS it's lawyers right?

Might even explain your low response rate.

Use your training and save yourself a headache.

BTW what's to say a RW won't get half?

[Bruno]

Correct me if i have wrong but i think that pre-nups are valid for everybody, same American woman... so, no problem wit assets... yes, russian woman adapt to new living place, but they stay russian for all the life... not really true, they become a mix between the two culture...

[jb]

I still don't understand why we are wasting our time?

I think it's only men like you who are wasting time, chasing a fantasy.  Most of the successfully married men did not find their wives on a MOB agency site.  A few did, yes, but not all.  The numbers are against going to the FSU for a quick vacation and bringing home a trophy bride.  It takes considerable more work and time to get it done properly than a week or two with some MOB agency.  I wish you well, but I suggest you get used to the idea that you will be at this for some time to come.

[solomon]

The numbers are against going to the FSU for a quick vacation and bringing home a trophy bride.

Do you want to tell me what the basis is for making this statement for the second time?

[Bruno]

Most of the successfully married men did not find their wives on a MOB agency site. A few did, yes, but not all. The numbers are against going to the FSU for a quick vacation and bringing home a trophy bride.

A pool can be interesting for verify this... i know only a few members on the 400 who have not use the MOB of other long distance system for be in relation with RW... a pool can give some idea for these forum... it will not specialy show the reality outside but already the reality of these forum.

 

[Photo Guy]

A pool party for this group could be fun, if the pool is enormous.  
I would be curious to see the results of such a poll.   Doug

[BC]

Met 'outside' MOB. Married 3 yrs.

[Bruno]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

A pool party for this group could be fun, if the pool is enormous.
I would be curious to see the results of such a poll. Doug

Why not start it yourself Doug...

 

[Bruce]

I know there was a poll about how one found their wife on this board I believe started on a thread by BC.  The results had only about 12 men but if I remember correctly significantly more than just a majority met through the help of an agency.  Unfortunately, it is a small sample but it was the best this board had at the time and I guess thats the best inference into the process we will have until something better / more people respond to BC's poll.  I had a hard time finding it in the archives because I forgot what topic it was located in.  Ah, found it:

http://russianwomendiscussion.com/view_topic.php?id=377&forum_id=3

 

Whats the 400 anyway???

[jb]

Married 4 year, no agency...

[Bruno]

Whats the 400 anyway???

Almost 400 members on RWD... and i cannot count these who are not already member but only visitor...

Yes, Bruce, you have find a previous poll... certainly a big work... ( maybe need to think about a search engine for the forum :D:D )...

Only 17 votes... not a lot, i am sure that more people are or was married with RW... some new members from April to now...

And about stastistic, i have find almost nothing, it seem that agency hide her real information over marriage... the mystere is always so dark...

[Turboguy]

Photo Guy,

I think a poll would be better for this group than a Pool Party even with a big pool.   I think someone here might try to drown someone else with our group.    That was not pointed at anyone, just a general statement in a joking manor.

Why don't we do a poll.  Lets talk about the ways to meet and then set one up for anyone with a wife or fiancee or serious committment.

Ways to meet.

1. Romance Tour,

2. Writing to gals through an agency or purchaed addresses.

3. Visiting a country and using agencies to meet gals

4. ICQ, Pen Pal sites, IM etc,

5. Travel to the FSU on business or vacation without looking for a wife.

6.  Through friends, other FSU, or other than listed above.

What else do we need for our Poll?   Lets sort the options then someone can set it up.

 

 

[BC]

Yes Bruce, I remember that poll. Unfortunately with polls everyone chips in but don't know who, notwithsatnding those who voted and had defunct marriages to a RW.

MOB or 'Other' method and number of years currently married would give a better idea I would think.

'Successfully married' can certainly be debated but If you are currently married over 2 years chances are pretty good it's working out somehow.

Poll away..

[Turboguy]

I would think married and defunct marriage and related things are a different subject.

You could do a poll. 

Are You.

1.  Searching for a RW

2.  Involved with one and serious but not engaged

3.  Engaged

4. Married less than 2 years

5.  Married 2-5 years

6 Married over 5 years.

7 Divorced from and FSU woman but looking for another.

 

Or the like.   To me it just seems like a different topic.

[Photo Guy]

there is no woman that has walked this continent that has treated me as well as Vika (and I reciprocated).

If she was from the FSU, did that play a part in her treating you so well, in your opinion?  Doug

[Photo Guy]

I said that I felt the best approach is to live and circulate among women of the FSU, if that is what you are seeking, but I think the MOB/dating agency thing can work. If you meet a woman through an agency, you can meet more woman than otherwise, but there is also the added danger and complication of attracting the wrong kind of woman.

[solomon]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

there is no woman that has walked this continent that has treated me as well as Vika (and I reciprocated).

If she was from the FSU, did that play a part in her treating you so well, in your opinion? Doug

My intution tells me she was sincere. She is still hanging in there as she just sent me another email today. I may need to get a restraining order against her.

[Photo Guy]

Let me put it another way:
Is Vika different from most AW?  

[BC]

  To me it just seems like a different topic.

Yes the polls you suggest are different than jb's statement and Doug's suggested poll on that subject.

[Bruno]

there is no woman that has walked this continent that has treated me as well as Vika (and I reciprocated).

If she was from the FSU, did that play a part in her treating you so well, in your opinion? Doug[/quote]My intution tells me she was sincere. She is still hanging in there as she just sent me another email today. I may need to get a restraining order against her. [/quote]
And what is the problem with her, she is sincere, treat you well, and stay writing you... Can she be the right one ? Hunting a dream lead to nothing... some man are so difficult that the woman they dream to marry don't exist...

 

[solomon]

there is no woman that has walked this continent that has treated me as well as Vika (and I reciprocated).

If she was from the FSU, did that play a part in her treating you so well, in your opinion? Doug[/quote]My intution tells me she was sincere. She is still hanging in there as she just sent me another email today. I may need to get a restraining order against her. [/quote]
And what is the problem with her, she is sincere, treat you well, and stay writing you... Can she be the right one ? Hunting a dream lead to nothing... some man are so difficult that the woman they dream to marry don't exist...

[/quote]Golddigger for one. "I need $1500 right now or at least $5k if you want me to come to the US now." She has also repeatedly failed to answer why that she still has her profile on AFA. http://www.loveme.com/women/info69261.htm. She recently said she would take a year off school to be with me. I guess you call that a trial marriage. Anything is possible Bruno.

[Bruno]

[user=16]Bruno[/user] wrote: Golddigger for one. "I need $1500 right now or at least $5k if you want me to come to the US now." She has also repeatedly failed to answer why that she still has her profile on AFA. http://www.loveme.com/women/info69261.htm. She recently said she would take a year off school to be with me. I guess you call that a trial marriage. Anything is possible Bruno.

Not Golddigger but scammer maybe... a Golddigger don't ask money before the marriage... some definition from my site :

Gold diggers are also commonly referred to as Visa Whores. While they are related to the opportunistic woman, they fall into this separate category due to their primary objective being a green card and not money. Don't get me wrong, these gold diggers want your money, but they want it in conjunction with foreign citizenship. In my opinion, Gold diggers are the most dangerous women of all. Because they are in the game for the long haul, they are exceedingly difficult to spot. The Red Flags may be subtle to non-existent, but the destruction they do financially as well as emotionally is second to none.

Whenever a relationship falls apart there are hard feelings. It's the easiest thing in the world for a man to accuse a woman of being a Gold digger after a relationship ends. The truth isn't always so cut and dried. While true gold diggers span an endless gamut of types, the classic forms fall into two basic categories: the Visa Whore and the Trader.

The Visa Whore is a total user. She has a game plan from the word "go" to get her green card and as much money as possible, anyway possible. She will lie, cheat, or steal to gain her objective. She might cop for herself, or her designs on citizenship may be to bring her Russian boyfriend to join her. Who knows? Always the consummate actress, the Visa Whore will use her body to keep you happy until she feels confident enough to spring her trap. According to the immigration laws of the United States the trap will probably be sprung by an allegation of domestic violence or with the issue of the green card. If the Visa Whore is the scum of the Earth, she will play the DV card, but if she is just a scum bag with a heart, she will follow the "Day 731" rule.

It's generally expected that a permanent green card will be issued in approximately 2 years or 730 days. The "Day 731" rule is commonly accepted to mean the day after the permanent green card is issued. At that point she is free and clear to walk out the door, file for divorce, get what she can get, and move on with her life. If you think it can't get worse, you are wrong. The INS has provisions for abused immigrant spouses. The law was designed to help in the event of real abuse, but in our politically correct society it doesn't always work that way. Even if you never harm her, a Visa Whore can claim emotional abuse due to a harsh word, a slammed door, or a threat to send her back to Russia. She can have you arrested and petition the INS to immediately issue a permanent green card.

Before I continue with the Trader, let me answer the question that you must now be asking, "Why, with all these possible problems should I even consider a Russian woman as an option?" First, I'm outlining worst case scenarios. Second, by arming you with this information, you will be less likely to end up in this terrible situation. Third, there are more honest women than Scammers and Gold diggers combined. Forth, any relationship involves some risk, and you can limit the risks by following a few simple rules of thumb. Plus, the benefits of finding a good Russian woman outweigh the limited risks. Fifth, what are the alternatives? A homegrown woman can leave at any time, file for divorce and take half of your money and property. Also, any woman, foreign or domestic, can file false DV charges. It's the price we pay for being born male in America.

While still morally reprehensible, the Trader differs from the Visa Whore in that she is more like an average woman. She wants to improve her position in life, and if she has to use you as a stepping stone, so be it. Remarkably, a Trader may not even realize that she is a gold digger. She believes it is normal to attach herself to a man who can help her to the next level and then trade up as soon as a better prospect presents itself. The Trader will accept any offer from any man who can get her to the west, all the while knowing that she will only stay as long as it is convenient to do so. Traders don't like to be alone. Like a little monkey that is afraid to release the branch it is on until it has the next branch firmly in its grasp, the Trader will stick with her man, but only until a better man comes within reach.

There is a subset among the Traders, and they are the Up-Siders. The Up-Sider is on the cusp of being truly honest. She will look at her prospects in her homeland and realize how few good men are available. She also understands how few men actually come from the west to look for a Russian bride. In her heart she wants happiness and a real relationship, but she can not help being influenced by her current conditions. Her up-side is a chance for a good man. Her up-side is the chance for a happy family. Her up-side is a better environment. She doesn't see a down-side, but she is not in love. The Up-Sider may even give an honest attempt at making the relationship work. She may not feel love in the beginning, but is hoping that love will develop. She will take the chance to realize her dream, but she also knows that if the dream fades, she is in a better position for happiness. I can hardly find fault in an Up-Sider; we all take our chances without knowing what the future holds, but you should understand that they are out there.

Can you protect yourself from a gold digger? The same rules apply as always: take your time, meet the family and friends, and heed the Red Flags. However, the answer really lies within you. Can you be logical? Can you show discretion? Do you have common sense? gold diggers rely on you becoming infatuated and not thinking clearly. They will use there feminine wiles. They don't call it being pussy whipped without reason. The key is to do your thinking with the head between your shoulders, not the one between your legs.