Ideal Age?

[dneid]

Hey, All,
I wasn't real sure of where to post this, but figured the Experienced section was a safe bet to get a solid answer from the folks that have been here awhile.  So, I have read in several threads about an ideal age for a RW.  It has been stated "Half your age + 7 years".  I just curious haw this was arrived at.  I assume this is based significantly on experience.  So, can someone tell me where this comes from?

Thanks all.  I really enjoying the forum.  I have learned a lot from all the reading.  I am not going to say that I have read every thread, but I have gone all the way back in all the forums and at least perused most of the threads and read quite a few in detail (once again, groov, great TRs!! and Taz, I am loving your JD tale as well).  To all who have posted here and to the admins, thank you so much.  Truly an invaluable resource.

[DKMM]

2-7 years younger.

[Jazzyclassy]

Ideal age is like 2-6 years not more

[Shadow]

There is no other rule that what you think is acceptable to pursue. With this think of things like willing to have children, reactions of your surroundings and your own comfort level.

[Bruce]

It depends...........on you, the girl and her maturity level.  I would say if you are a well established man with plenty to offer both in life experience, lifestyle, maturity and rationality - 20 plus or minus five years. 

Real life single Russian woman is living in my house right now.  She is my wife's sister.  She recently broke up with her Russian boyfriend prior to her trip here  -that seems to be a reoccurring theme in her life by the way.  She is 22 years old.  She is looking for guys up to 40 maybe a couple more if the guy is really in good shape etc. for all it is worth.

[Jet]

It has been stated "Half your age + 7 years".  I just curious haw this was arrived at.  I assume this is based significantly on experience.  So, can someone tell me where this comes from?

If I recall correctly, this is an ancient formula from India or somewhere in that region. It is not the definitive rule of age gap perfection but it does suggest what I personally feel to be a *reasonable* guideline. I met my wife before I knew of it, so she is a little older than the formula suggests as ideal, but we've been doing OK these past 5 years 

Personally, I'd put more stock in the Chinese zodiac, many RW will too, when looking for a starting point to begin a search. Now, before you break out in hysterical laughter, remember that Russia share a 2600+ mile border with China, so they are much more open to Eastern philosophy than we are here in the west   

Your sign according to your birthdate and year.

[SANDRO43]

Dneid, is that an A-major chord you're playing ?

[Turboguy]

I think one thing anyone trying to decide what age of woman to go after should ask themself is "Is youth really an advantage for me?" 

I am not sure if I can explain what I am trying to say in a way anyone would understand but I will try. 

If you are 40-50 and have never had kids then a younger woman without kids may have some advantages.   

If the only reason you may be considering a younger woman is because you want someone attractive with a good body then you may find that there are a lot of attractive women with good figures closer to your age in the FSU and you may eliminate some of the age issues that some feel occur with a larger age difference.

Other age related issues that may play into decisions are that often older women may have children.  This is a two sided coin.   You have to deal with parenthood issues which can be pretty major issues.   On the other hand you may find your selection of good women with children is better.   A woman with a child does have more difficulty finding a good husband there and you may be able to have a better selection of high quality women to consider.

Personally I think that half you age plus 7 years is a little too restrictive and does not mean a lot.   We are all different in our interests, in how we have aged, in our activities and in our ability to attract a younger woman.   Personally I think if someone wants to persue a younger woman you could go more by the age of the women you date in America minus 5-10 years.   

Other issues that can come into play are that I think sometimes younger men and women can adapt quicker to a culture and language change which can be a plus for younger women.  I think the real factor that should be considered is are you going to be at compatible stages in your life.  Will you be able to find things you enjoy together.  Age is something that can affect this but it is not the only thing.  What you don't want is a woman who looks at you as a stepping stone to what she wants for her life, who will marry you and stay until the green card is in her hands.   This does happen.   Spend enough time with any woman you are interested in to know her.   Doing a quick K-1 with a very young woman usually does not work out.

[Serebro]

10 years younger(max)

[BillyB]

I think it depends on what the woman wants more than the man. I've seen 18yo RW looking for a man 10-20yo and one 19yo came to a forum who was seeking a man 30+ yo because she felt any man younger than 30 is immature and doesn't have his life in order. Even RW living in America allows for a wider age gap than the average American women. If a relationship with a large age gap is to be successful, then both people need to be comfortable with it to the point it isn't discussed on a regular basis. I asked my fiancee once what she thought of our 12 1/2 year age gap and she said she was fine and there was never a discussion about age again. Her actions out in public showed me she was proud to be with me and mentally we get along great so I'm satisfied with her answer.

[KenC]

I think one thing anyone trying to decide what age of woman to go after should ask themself is "Is youth really an advantage for me?" 

I am not sure if I can explain what I am trying to say in a way anyone would understand but I will try. 

If you are 40-50 and have never had kids then a younger woman without kids may have some advantages.   

If the only reason you may be considering a younger woman is because you want someone attractive with a good body then you may find that there are a lot of attractive women with good figures closer to your age in the FSU and you may eliminate some of the age issues that some feel occur with a larger age difference.

Other age related issues that may play into decisions are that often older women may have children.  This is a two sided coin.   You have to deal with parenthood issues which can be pretty major issues.   On the other hand you may find your selection of good women with children is better.   A woman with a child does have more difficulty finding a good husband there and you may be able to have a better selection of high quality women to consider.

Personally I think that half you age plus 7 years is a little too restrictive and does not mean a lot.   We are all different in our interests, in how we have aged, in our activities and in our ability to attract a younger woman.  Personally I think if someone wants to persue a younger woman you could go more by the age of the women you date in America minus 5-10 years.   
Other issues that can come into play are that I think sometimes younger men and women can adapt quicker to a culture and language change which can be a plus for younger women.  I think the real factor that should be considered is are you going to be at compatible stages in your life.  Will you be able to find things you enjoy together.  Age is something that can affect this but it is not the only thing.  What you don't want is a woman who looks at you as a stepping stone to what she wants for her life, who will marry you and stay until the green card is in her hands.   This does happen.   Spend enough time with any woman you are interested in to know her.   Doing a quick K-1 with a very young woman usually does not work out.

So, Turboman,
You recently dated a 32 year old American woman?
KenC

[KenC]

I think it depends on what the woman wants more than the man. I've seen 18yo RW looking for a man 10-20yo and one 19yo came to a forum who was seeking a man 30+ yo because she felt any man younger than 30 is immature and doesn't have his life in order. Even RW living in America allows for a wider age gap than the average American women. If a relationship with a large age gap is to be successful, then both people need to be comfortable with it to the point it isn't discussed on a regular basis. I asked my fiancee once what she thought of our 12 1/2 year age gap and she said she was fine and there was never a discussion about age again. Her actions out in public showed me she was proud to be with me and mentally we get along great so I'm satisfied with her answer.

With all due respect, Billy, you have no clue until you begin your life together here in this country.
KenC

[KenC]

Hey, All,
I wasn't real sure of where to post this, but figured the Experienced section was a safe bet to get a solid answer from the folks that have been here awhile.  So, I have read in several threads about an ideal age for a RW.  It has been stated "Half your age + 7 years".  I just curious haw this was arrived at.  I assume this is based significantly on experience.  So, can someone tell me where this comes from?

Thanks all.  I really enjoying the forum.  I have learned a lot from all the reading.  I am not going to say that I have read every thread, but I have gone all the way back in all the forums and at least perused most of the threads and read quite a few in detail (once again, groov, great TRs!! and Taz, I am loving your JD tale as well).  To all who have posted here and to the admins, thank you so much.  Truly an invaluable resource.

denied,
I have heard of this "magic formula" for years now and I always thought it was a ridiculous attempt to standardize an issue that just has too many variables to be reduced to math.  So much depends upon the two individuals.  Their character traits, their morals, their affection for one another.  These are all undefinable in a generalized formula.  But, you know, I am kind of changing my mind on it too.  I think the formula has some merit.  At least for a minimum age range.  Let us look at some calculations:

30 yo man equates to a 22 yo woman
40 yo man equates to a 27 yo woman
50 yo man equates to a 32 yo woman
60 yo man equates to a 37 yo woman

In looking at these numbers, I would think that this formula works at the lower age of the men but becomes too wide a spread at the older years. IMO half you age plus 1o years might be better.
KenC

[Shadow]

Ken, the formula never states that the older partner must be male.
So if you are 52, a 90 year old babushka would fit the golden rule.
And Russia has a wide range of available elder babushka's. 

[KenC]

Ken, the formula never states that the older partner must be male.
So if you are 52, a 90 year old babushka would fit the golden rule.
And Russia has a wide range of available elder babushka's. 

Shadow, my friend, I will leave all the aging babuskas to you (and wiz) thank you.
KenC

[BillyB]

Ken, my fiancee is a very good looking woman. If our age difference made her slightly uncomfortable, she could easily find a younger man right now. Before me, she turned down two marriage proposals from younger men. She has lots of choices to choose from. She also has a work visa for Germany and she could find a younger man from a prosperous country there if it was important to her to live in a decent environment with a young man. She even knows German better than English and one of her best friends live in Germany and is willing to hook her up with a guy. But she chose me. If she is to break up our relationship, it won't be because of our age difference, it would to be an act of stupidity, lack of maturity, or violation of trust on my part.

[KenC]

Ken, my fiancee is a very good looking woman. If our age difference made her slightly uncomfortable, she could easily find a younger man right now. Before me, she turned down two marriage proposals from younger men. She has lots of choices to choose from. She also has a work visa for Germany and she could find a younger man from a prosperous country there if it was important to her to live in a decent environment with a young man. She even knows German better than English and one of her best friends live in Germany and is willing to hook her up with a guy. But she chose me. If she is to break up our relationship, it won't be because of our age difference, it would to be an act of stupidity, lack of maturity, or violation of trust on my part.

YADA YAD YADA, Billy.  The fact of the matter is you cannot begin to know how your age difference will affect your daily life until you begin to live together as man and wife. At this point, you are not married and she had yet to step a foot inside the country.  Geeze!  You can philosophise all you want, but you just do not have any experience to back up your claims.
KenC

[Taz]

It is hard to say a specific age range difference is best. You are already dealing with cultural mismatches which complicate things and increase odds of misunderstanding. Having said that, if there is enough desire and both sides almost anything is possible if not practical. In general though I would say woman, assuming she is of legal age, around 80-90% of your age is a good starting point.

If you are extremely handsome, very rich or have some other major plus in your area such as charm or wit, then you could go down to 70% of your age. If you are God's gift to woman, like JD ( ) then you could attract maybe about 60% of your age. If you are a billionaire then all bets are off and you can pretty much have almost anyone you want. If some women, who is 60% of your age is insterested in you, do a realistic check and see if you truly have what it takes to atrract this kind of woman. Perhaps she is young but not that pretty and you are pretty well off and have some other major pluses then it might be plausible but I'd still shy away from it.

If it seems too good to be true, then it likely is!

[Bruce]

These types of threads are always fraught with disagreements.  The only real information we have is that when there is a real poll of men actually married to girls from the FSU the average age difference comes out to 15 to 20 years.  Maybe I'll start another poll to prove it one more time!

[Taz]

I've seen a wide variety of these polls. On another site it was 14 years. This information is totally useless though. A 14 year age difference doesn't mean jack to a guy that is 30. He isn't going to date 16 year old girls I hope. In general, the older you are, the bigger the age difference can be.

That is why I suggest a PERCENTAGE for people as it takes that into account more than a hard number for set age difference. It allows for float that comes with the older folks and that is why I specifiy modifiers to change the percentage. A man who has a lot going for him can attract a wider range of woman and that should be factored in. If you are closer to the hunchback of Notre Dame then you need to be more realistic. In my situation in the US, I typically dated AW that were about 80% of my age or younger. The RW I dated were typically 60-70% of my age and on several occassions they were less than 50% of my age but quite honestly at that level they were too immature emotionally.

Problem is many men don't have reasonable expectations. Sometimes they see someone who is dating a much younger woman than they are and think they can do better. It isn't a contest and they may not know all the details of that man's situation. All I can say is don't focus so much on the age. Focus on the woman! I would say 95% of the time I dated RW, I never knew their exact age. I would meet them in passing and ask them out. Only later would I know what their age was. I might have an idea of 20's or 30's but not know exactly. When women learned my age, it was never an issue for them. I still suggest that about 80-85% of your age is a good place to start. If you aren't finding anyone you are interested in, then widen it up.

[BillyB]

YADA YAD YADA, Billy.  The fact of the matter is you cannot begin to know how your age difference will affect your daily life until you begin to live together as man and wife. At this point, you are not married and she had yet to step a foot inside the country.  Geeze!  You can philosophise all you want, but you just do not have any experience to back up your claims.
KenC

KEN, You've got short term memory because you forgot I was married to an Ukrianian woman with 7 years difference and I do have experience. Tell me why someday a woman is going to wake up and say the age gap difference is the reason she is filing for divorce? If you want to talk about maturity and sexual performance, a person's age does related to those issues but age does not dictate entirely what level you're at. I wrote to 20 yo's who where very goal oriented and driven and I wrote to 30 yo's who were more into partying. Of course the average 30 yo is much more mature than the 20 yo but that is a result of life experience and mental abilities. This thread is about "ideal age" but there's more factors involved than just age. Age is just a number.

Last month I met an FSU woman in a store and talked to her for about 30 minutes. She was going through college and was about 19 yo and we've could've talked for hours but I cut the conversation off after 30 minutes. Yesterday I was in the same store and she just happened to be working and when she saw me, her eyes lit up and I said hello but kept walking. I was sure I would be able to get her phone number if I asked. Although I'm 38 and have less hair on my head and not as physically appealing than when I was 20, I've got a lot more going for myself upstairs, know how to socialize better, and have my life in order. I'm actually attracting more women now than when I was 20 yo. Who am I to tell those women that you don't want a mature guy like me who has a good career and stays out of trouble? Ultimately, men do most of the chasing but it's the woman who decides who she wants in her bed.

I believe most divorces happen when there is not an age gap of more than 4 years because women, who initiates 90% of all divorces wake up one day and realize their man is not mature enough and doesn't take care of business. In this society we are led to believe men and women should marry within only a few years difference in age gap. I believe women are more mature than men by more than a few years. It's no wonder women wear the pants in many households in this nation, then those women wake up and realize they want to get divorced and find a real MAN and are open to larger age gaps because usually older men have the maturity they want and cleaned up their act.
 

[SANDRO43]

That is why I suggest a PERCENTAGE for people as it takes that into account more than a hard number for set age difference. It allows for float that comes with the older folks and that is why I specifiy modifiers to change the percentage.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=4224.msg76747#msg76747

[Turboguy]

So, Turboman,
You recently dated a 32 year old American woman?
KenC

Ken, I would not hold myself up as an example of anything.  I look at VWRW and I as a bit unique.   We are two people who are well suited to each other even though there are factors that could make it a very high risk proposition for other people. 

My point in staying that is that I have noticed that a lot of the guys such as yourself and a few others I could name but won't who are in happy marriages with a larger age difference than what we would normally see have said that they had also dated AW who were significantly younger than them.  It seems to me that men who have often dated women who were quite a bit younger may have a higher success rate with RW who are quite a bit younger.   

To answer your question no, the last American woman I dated was not 32, but she was 25 years younger than I am.

[KenC]

KEN, You've got short term memory because you forgot I was married to an Ukrianian woman with 7 years difference and I do have experience.

And that was a woman born in the Ukraine?  One that lived there until adulthood?  Or an American with Ukrainian roots?  BTW 7 still aint 12.

Tell me why someday a woman is going to wake up and say the age gap difference is the reason she is filing for divorce? If you want to talk about maturity and sexual performance, a person's age does related to those issues but age does not dictate entirely what level you're at.

Where do you get this crap from?  It sure aint me. 

I wrote to 20 yo's who where very goal oriented and driven and I wrote to 30 yo's who were more into partying. Of course the average 30 yo is much more mature than the 20 yo but that is a result of life experience and mental abilities. This thread is about "ideal age" but there's more factors involved than just age. Age is just a number.

I have dated "party girls" of all ages and I agree there is many different criteria other than just age.

Last month I met an FSU woman in a store and talked to her for about 30 minutes. She was going through college and was about 19 yo and we've could've talked for hours but I cut the conversation off after 30 minutes. Yesterday I was in the same store and she just happened to be working and when she saw me, her eyes lit up and I said hello but kept walking. I was sure I would be able to get her phone number if I asked. Although I'm 38 and have less hair on my head and not as physically appealing than when I was 20, I've got a lot more going for myself upstairs, know how to socialize better, and have my life in order. I'm actually attracting more women now than when I was 20 yo. Who am I to tell those women that you don't want a mature guy like me who has a good career and stays out of trouble? Ultimately, men do most of the chasing but it's the woman who decides who she wants in her bed.

Ok, Billy, you're the total stud, whatever. :noidea:

I believe most divorces happen when there is not an age gap of more than 4 years because women, who initiates 90% of all divorces wake up one day and realize their man is not mature enough and doesn't take care of business.

Oh really now?  Any factual evidence to back up this comment?

In this society we are led to believe men and women should marry within only a few years difference in age gap.

Oh really now?  I guess my Granfather/grandmother's 23 year age difference says differently.

I believe women are more mature than men by more than a few years.

This may be true in children but I do not agree after adulthood.

It's no wonder women wear the pants in many households in this nation, then those women wake up and realize they want to get divorced and find a real MAN and are open to larger age gaps because usually older men have the maturity they want and cleaned up their act.

Sorry, but that is the most twisted thing I have ever heard.  Women wear the pants here because over the years American women have become more man like and American men have become puzzies.  It mostly has to do with the feminist movement here but for sure It has absolutely nothing to do with maturity levels.  In fact American women reaching their 40's begin to act more and more immature.

[KenC]

Ken, I would not hold myself up as an example of anything.  I look at VWRW and I as a bit unique.   We are two people who are well suited to each other even though there are factors that could make it a very high risk proposition for other people. 

My point in staying that is that I have noticed that a lot of the guys such as yourself and a few others I could name but won't who are in happy marriages with a larger age difference than what we would normally see have said that they had also dated AW who were significantly younger than them.  It seems to me that men who have often dated women who were quite a bit younger may have a higher success rate with RW who are quite a bit younger.   

To answer your question no, the last American woman I dated was not 32, but she was 25 years younger than I am.

So your advice applies to everyone but you?
 
KenC