Second choice......Advise please.

[MaxxumUSA]

just want to watch this thread. 

Oh...

My opinion:  Fred - go for a new search for new women.  IMHO I think it would be hard for a woman to trust you after being dumped for another woman one time.  I know dumped is a harsh word...  but in the heat of an argument or if she gets that suspicion that you might be cheating - it will come to the front of her mind.

[KenC]

I understood that you made attempt at humor. Just remembering that in each joke there is a part of truth I decided to voice my opinion what could be cause for such a brutal behavior.

So you think that Groov thinks he is really turning into a werewolf?

Sorry, Groov is right on target with his comments.  Which BTW are no where close to being "brutal."  Too many men make excuses for RW's bad behavior ie:cultural difference and misunderstandings etc.  Groov is cautioning against that and rightfully so.  It is better to err for the sake of caution than to pin your hopes on your own fantasy.
KenC

[KenC]

Most men's first choices are the wrong choice. Many a good woman were passed over for the sexy dressed, smooth talking woman. Fred may have made a serious error and passed over a gem of a woman for a woman who was never truly "into" him. Who knows? Maybe the second choices were bad choices or maybe not and Fred simply made a bad choice. It's been so long, I don't think Fred's second choices are going to remember him well unless he's the dream man they've been wanting.

I dunno, Billy, my first choice turned out rather well for me.

The highlighted statement is ridiculous.  You do not think these RW would remember him well?  Do you think they are retarded?  How could you think it is possible for them to forget an AM they met a short time ago?  If they do not think they were passed over in favor of another woman, then they just might be retarded or naive as hell.  Either way not good choices.  With this very very small pool of women being tainted by Fred's original choice, there is no other good choice, but to start over. 
KenC

[vwrw]

Thanks for the unsolicited diagnosis, but I think it's more than a stretch to describe my behavior as "brutal." Blunt and honest, maybe.

So, this was not you but somebody else who asked:

I can't account for my whereabouts during full moons of the last two lunar cycles, and I've developed a taste for raw meat. Is this part of the transformation to an OMB?

Okay, what described above is a blunt and honest behavior, not brutal.

FWIW, I have nothing against anyone on this forum and have never said an unkind word to you or TG, even during your banishment many months ago.

I am sorry I did not know that in exchange I must never dare to try to answer your question asked on public forum.

[BillyB]

The highlighted statement is ridiculous. You do not think these RW would remember him well?  Do you think they are retarded?  How could you think it is possible for them to forget an AM they met a short time ago? 

 The dates with those second choices happened a year ago. Some of the dates had no chemistry and were probably a short 1+ hour date. Those women would be lucky to remember Fred's name so it's not ridiculous. And no, I do not think they are retarded. Where did you read Fred met these women a short time ago?

[catzenmouse]

No need to take a couple of lame jokes too seriously now. How about we add another one...

Ken, I can't account for my whereabouts during full moons of the last two lunar cycles, and I've developed a taste for raw meat. Is this part of the transformation to an OMB?

Next chapter in the series coming soon: An American Groovwolf in NYC

- A young writer and hockey player is walking in Manhattan when a strange dog attacks him. Watch the strange transformation and how his Slavic beauty fights to save him from this terrible fate. Music by Warren Zevon.

[KenC]

The dates with those second choices happened a year ago. Some of the dates had no chemistry and were probably a short 1+ hour date. Those women would be lucky to remember Fred's name so it's not ridiculous. And no, I do not think they are retarded. Where did you read Fred met these women a short time ago?

I guess when you will be older, a year will be recent to you too.

I still think it is ridculous to think the women will not remember him.  I dare say that Lena could name every AM she met through her agency some 10 years ago.  Certainly she would recall them in a face to face meeting.  Not everyone has thousands of names and faces to remember like you, Billy.  Some of us and some of the RW were much more selective.  In fact I would say that most were.
KenC

[Gator]

groovlstk,

Hilarious what Catzenmouse wrote about you.  And it is true, and RWD needs more of the same.

Everything you have written is spot on except your second sentence below does not derive from your first.

If the woman expected action and was disappointed at the pace Fred was moving, she'd have SAID SOMETHING ABOUT IT TO HIM, not suddenly stop writing and cut off communication w/him. Why are so many guys here so eager to explain away the behavior of bad RW by blaming it on the man?

First sentence is absolutely correct.  The second implicitly expresses that Fred's woman is  a "bad RW."

I have noticed that if a RW is no longer into you, she vaporizes.  Poof!  Not a word!  Westerners consider it rude behavior, yet it does not mean that she is a bad RW.   If rudeness were an indicator of a bad RW, at least one fourth of all RW would qualify.  Personally, I avoided RW who were rude to others.

So VWRW being the lone RW in this crowd of OMB werewolves defended this RW.  I agree with her.  Next time she should use a silver bullet (ask Turbo).

BTW, this is immaterial, would you not agree, Fred?  Fred!  Fred!  Where are you?  What will you do differently this time?

[FredC]

Hi everyone. I'd like to thank everyone for all of the advice. Let me start by saying that never thought any I'll about my lady for one minute. Like all the ladies that I met on my trips, she was a fine lady. About her stopping the contact, I don't think its really any different from what us guys here are famous for......Not calling a lady when we say we will.

After reading all the advice, I think that after a while to reflect, I will start over again from the begining. Go the WMVM route and then try to make a better choiced next time.

[Turboguy]

Groov, you are one of my favorite people on RWD and I consider you to be wise and level headed.   I do have to agree with VWRW's objection but I am sure she did not mean to cast you in an unfavorable light.  Gator picked it up.  Her objection was to the term "bad woman".  I think in life we tend to side with whoever is telling us their side of the story and so often on RWD we hear the men's side of it.   I am sure hearing one side we often think the woman is a bad woman.   Sometimes it is true and sometimes it is not.  

Yes, if a woman is scamming a man out of lots of money she is most likely a bad woman.  If someone decides they are not interested in continuing a relationship it does not make them a bad woman.  Perhaps they are making a big mistake and perhaps they are being wise but never bad.

Based on the advice here it sounds like no one has ever had any luck at going back .  I have had a few times it worked out and lots of times it didn't.   When I got divorced we split up once and went back.  It was probably the most miserable time of my life and I left again.  I have to agree, if there was a reason it did not work out once those reasons will still be there.   I had a time or two that I went back to a former relationship when there was no real reason and did work out.   There are enough women looking for a good man there is no reason to go back to the ones he met before unless he feels they really have potential.  Had things not worked out with VWRW I would likely have taken another shot at one or two I met on Jack's tour.  I think it is pretty much the exact same situation Fred is in except mine is hypothetical.   Since that would have been my course of action that is why I said sending them an e-mail and seeing if there was any interest is worth doing.   The other side of the coin is that if he felt they were not worth persuing further then why bother now.  Only he knows them and his feelings at the time.    What ever he does I think the odds are that the gal he ends up with will be one he has yet to contact.  The matter seems to be settled now in Fred's mind based on the post he made while I was writing this and I think his choice is a wise one.

 

[Gator]

Fred,

You receive an:

ATTABOY!

Another man is added to the long list of those suffering from "only RW" flu.  Fred, you are not alone.  Most here have it as well.

[SANDRO43]

I strongly object against these indiscriminate accusations of dishonesty levelled at FSUW . Here's an honest woman from today's Bride Ru, who has no qualms about openly describing herself:

Occupation: misstres (http://bride.ru/ph/htcgi/ladies/658/658731P1.html?il=2830776)

[KenC]

I strongly object against these indiscriminate accusations of dishonesty levelled at FSUW . Here's an honest woman from today's Bride Ru, who has no qualms about openly describing herself:

Occupation: misstres (http://bride.ru/ph/htcgi/ladies/658/658731P1.html?il=2830776)

Um, wrong thread, Sandro.
KenC

[SANDRO43]

Um, wrong thread, Sandro.

Why ?

[Lit_1nce]

Quote
If the woman expected action and was disappointed at the pace Fred was moving, she'd have SAID SOMETHING ABOUT IT TO HIM, not suddenly stop writing and cut off communication w/him. Why are so many guys here so eager to explain away the behavior of bad RW by blaming it on the man?

First sentence is absolutely correct.  The second implicitly expresses that Fred's woman is  a "bad RW."

I have noticed that if a RW is no longer into you, she vaporizes.  Poof!  Not a word!  Westerners consider it rude behavior, yet it does not mean that she is a bad RW.

Ok, the "behavior" is bad not the woman... and if things were reversed and it was the AM who just vanished to a woman who was shortly expecting to be married to him ... well he's still a good man too I suppose.

Correspondence is one thing (I would expect the vanish), but an established relationship is another.

There is nothing wrong with blunt.. and that includes telling someone it not working out, or it's over... and then you can vaporise. To leave someone hanging (until such time as they figure it out) is just wrong.

[KenC]

Why ?

Shouldn't that post be in the sponsered woman thread?
KenC

[Jumper]

 

tried to go back in December, but she put me off.

Fred has moved on..

but in general when guys see this scenerio..
if in a relationship (somone you have met )
and she puts off a visit from you,
without a freely given specific and exact reason,.,

then yes , absolutely its over! move on!
no hesiatation, no looking back.

I see so many guys *wonder* about how things are going with thier RW..

Listen, if you are *wondering*, then it's very very likely you shouldn't be!

That may sound like a riddle, but it really is that simple.

[2tallbill]

I strongly object against these indiscriminate accusations of dishonesty levelled at FSUW . Here's an honest woman from today's Bride Ru, who has no qualms about openly describing herself:

Occupation: misstres (http://bride.ru/ph/htcgi/ladies/658/658731P1.html?il=2830776)

Sandro, I freely admit that you're the heavy weight champ on language and etymology.

Could mistress mean child care provider or something similar?

Bill

[Shadow]

Could mistress mean child care provider or something similar?

Bill

It is something similar to child care provider. Only the age of the child and the specifics of 'care' are slightly different. 

[Misha]

Well, we were discussing the meaning of "sponsor." Perhaps she is simply being honest and acknowledging the fact that her salary was the sum paid by her sponsor.

[SANDRO43]

Well, we were discussing the meaning of "sponsor." Perhaps she is simply being honest and acknowledging the fact that her salary was the sum paid by her sponsor.

In that case, for total honesty she should have written mi$tre$$ or £ady .

[groovlstk]

Everything you have written is spot on except your second sentence below does not derive from your first.

First sentence is absolutely correct.  The second implicitly expresses that Fred's woman is  a "bad RW."

I have noticed that if a RW is no longer into you, she vaporizes.  Poof!  Not a word!  Westerners consider it rude behavior, yet it does not mean that she is a bad RW.   If rudeness were an indicator of a bad RW, at least one fourth of all RW would qualify.  Personally, I avoided RW who were rude to others.

So VWRW being the lone RW in this crowd of OMB werewolves defended this RW.  I agree with her.  Next time she should use a silver bullet (ask Turbo).

Gator,

I honestly didn't mean to tag this woman specifically as "bad," only I'm sick to death of the litany of cliches and excuses that men here trot out every time some poor SOB like the original poster gets dumped by a RW for vague reasons.

I have noticed that if a RW is no longer into you, she vaporizes.  Poof!  Not a word!

Personally, I never experienced this, especially with RW I met in person. All of the relationships I had w/RW ended with a goodbye, sometimes along with recriminations but more often with fond wishes.

For the record, next time a guy comes here with a sob story here's a pre-written list of cliched excuses that can smooth things over so insecure members don't worry about their own relationships. It can be like that old story about how the inmates in prison have memorized all the jokes, someone can just call out "number 45!" and everyone on the cell block laughs 

OK you jilted, cuckolded men, listen up! It's not her fault, because:

1) You waited too long to propose to her.

2) You proposed too quickly and spooked her.

3) You didn't act like a man and take charge, RW love strong men and your indecisiveness when ordering dinner was seen as weakness and so she dumped you.

4) Her parents/siblings/friends/employers disapproved of you and poisoned her mind against you.

5) Your shoes are ugly or your clothing is too casual and cheap.

6) She's the top girl at her agency and they put pressure on her to remain single.

7) She met some really bad Russian friends after she arrived here and they corrupted her and made her want to trade up to a more handsome and rich man.

The real reason women act in such ways is a lot more simple, however:

Regardless of what she told you a week before she dumped you, she doesn't love you, never did, and never will.

[Christian]

Sandro, I freely admit that you're the heavy weight champ on language and etymology.

Could mistress mean child care provider or something similar?

Bill

She has no children, speaks fluent English and Romanian, but hails from Moldava, and to beat all likes roller skating to ice skating!  Unless your going to pay her $15.00 per hr for child care and not sleep with her doing the hanky-panky, mistress would mean something other.  Got it Samson?

Christian

[KenC]

Gator,

I honestly didn't mean to tag this woman specifically as "bad," only I'm sick to death of the litany of cliches and excuses that men here trot out every time some poor SOB like the original poster gets dumped by a RW for vague reasons.

Personally, I never experienced this, especially with RW I met in person. All of the relationships I had w/RW ended with a goodbye, sometimes along with recriminations but more often with fond wishes.

For the record, next time a guy comes here with a sob story here's a pre-written list of cliched excuses that can smooth things over so insecure members don't worry about their own relationships. It can be like that old story about how the inmates in prison have memorized all the jokes, someone can just call out "number 45!" and everyone on the cell block laughs 

OK you jilted, cuckolded men, listen up! It's not her fault, because:

1) You waited too long to propose to her.

2) You proposed too quickly and spooked her.

3) You didn't act like a man and take charge, RW love strong men and your indecisiveness when ordering dinner was seen as weakness and so she dumped you.

4) Her parents/siblings/friends/employers disapproved of you and poisoned her mind against you.

5) Your shoes are ugly or your clothing is too casual and cheap.

6) She's the top girl at her agency and they put pressure on her to remain single.

7) She met some really bad Russian friends after she arrived here and they corrupted her and made her want to trade up to a more handsome and rich man.

The real reason women act in such ways is a lot more simple, however:

Regardless of what she told you a week before she dumped you, she doesn't love you, never did, and never will.

groovlstk,
In spite of the fact that Catz thinks you need another month or two of seasoning, I think you are now there!  As the official OMB greeter (got fired from my Walmart gig for giving Turboguy sh!t), Welcome to the OMB club!
KenC
(Catz, it isn't the length of time married that matters as much as it is the substance and the delivery of the message)

[Gator]

Groovlstk,

Hilarious and sad and true.  

But he loved her, and he was a good man and did everything for her!

The sooner a man accepts your she doesn't love you, never did, and never will, the sooner he can advance through  the denial and other stages and be on his way to recovery.

With some thought, your list of lame excuses could possibly number as many as 45.