KenC's T/R 10 years late

[KenC]

The back story
My life has settled into a very nice groove since my divorce.  I had dated a large number of AW and was never short on female companionship.  Most of the women I dated I had met via the Internet.  I was never one to troll the bars or pick up women in public, but I really was very comfortable in meeting women from the Net.  I had learned my Internet dating lessons well too.  I learned that no matter how sweet the talk via email or even phone, there is just no substitution for the face to face meetings.  This lesson had been learned the hard way too.  I had more than one experience where the talk had gone on too long and got too serious only to climax with a very uncomfortable first face to face meeting.  I now knew that one’s fantasies can be a powerfully misleading emotion.  No amount of talking can replace the first 10 seconds of meeting.  The more my dating skills developed, the less time I spent talking or writing and the sooner I pushed to meet the women in person.  It seemed as though no matter how much you thought you knew each other, the first meeting would still be a type of blind date.

My personal situation was comfortable financially.  My children were older with my youngest (a son) living with me in the summers while attending a university and living on campus the rest of the time.  I had a great relationship with him and my older daughter and we were all very close.  My kids thought it was very strange to meet people via the Net, but accepted that their old man was just a little different than most.  I was perfectly happy with my single life and had gone on record with friends and family as saying I would never marry again unless it was perfect.

As I was running my current business from a home office, I had plenty of time to play on the Net.  In searching for things, I did come across a few big RW sites.  Pretty Woman was one and the other might have been Anastassia Web.  I was intrigued by them I must admit.  I was blown away by the sheer beauty of the women listed and could not understand the seemingly low expectations of what they listed in their profiles.  I remember printing a few profiles to share with my buddies at the country club while golfing.  It just didn’t make any sense to me at the time.  I decided to look into this in further depth as I was a complete and total newbie and clueless about the process.

Hooking up with Lifetime Partners
In my searches on the Net, I came across Lifetime Partners from Tver. Russia.  They appeared to have a decent website and looked like an honorable organization.  I liked the fact that I could pick up the phone and speak to them here in America.  At the time, LTP was owned by two American guys, Ray and Clark.  I literally spent hours and hours on the phone talking to Ray.  I have many fond memories of Ray taking the time to explain everything regarding Russian culture and RW to me.  Ray had a Russian wife and spent quite a large amount of time in Tver.  It was as though I had discovered an unknown source of quality women with the same principals and back ground as I myself had.  I don’t know how to explain this, but I had a growing bond with Russia.  Being of Russian decent, I had always been intrigued by all things Russian and it now seemed as though Russia was in my future destiny.

Looking back at my talks with Ray, I can say now that we never really covered the “what if’s” of marrying a RW or most of the nuts and bolts of travel to Russia.  As marriage was really not my priority and I had no real plans of visiting Russia any time soon, it was not a big deal at the time.  As incredible as the stories were from Ray, I had no immediate plans to go to Russia.

I checked out LTP’s website and all the women listed there.  I did end up joining LTP for a minimal price and was sent a video tape of many different RW being interviewed by Ray.  There were some very nice women on the tape and it was interesting to see and hear them.  Still, I had no immediate plans to take this Internet fantasy any further.  How crazy could it be to travel half way around the world just to meet some women?

Plans change
Every week or every other week I would check LTP’s website to see new girls added, I guess.  But in all honesty, the thought of going to Russia was fast fading from my mind even though it was a country I have long desired to see.  And then one night in October 98, upon checking the site, LTP had introduced a new promotion.  They listed 4 or 5 girls with English abilities that men could phone directly.  It was ungodly expensive but also very simple to do.  One of the women listed was Lena.  I have to say that the photos they posted literally took my breath away!  I had never before seen such a beautiful woman.  Not in any Victoria’s Secret catalog, not in any Playboy magazine, I mean nowhere.  (Just for the record the photos were not the least bit racy in any way.  Lena was in jeans and a nice sweater) She was just gorgeous.  So I picked up the phone and called her!

We hit it off on the phone instantly.  Her English was a bit rusty and in the beginning she struggled for word selection, but the conversation flowed almost seamlessly.  We talked for almost an hour on the first call.  What was really cool was that we were both very interested in each other’s lives.  She was a sponge regarding information on where and how I lived and I the same about her life.  What a refreshing breath of fresh air she was to me.  We ended the first conversation with plans for a second call the next day.

After my call to Lena, I searched the website for her bio information and searched the video tape sent to me for her interview.  It is no wonder I overlooked her at first glance because she was so damn young!  Lena is a very photogenic woman, but for some reason, LTP had chosen the absolute worst photos to post on her bio that I have seen of her.  What were they thinking?

The first phone call led to another and then to regular daily calls to Lena.  We talked about everything under the sun except anything remotely romantic.  I had learned through my years of Internet dating that romance is best left to be administered in person and anything prior to meeting is just a fantasy any way.  Sure it was Lena’s beauty that initially attracted my attention, but it was her personality and charm that kept me calling her back time and time again.  A friendship was fast in the making.  I admired that such a beautiful woman could be so down to earth and had not a hint of aloofness found in even the most mediocre looking AW.  Lena was my first foray into the consciousness of a RW.

Our phone calls became more and more important to the both of us.  I would watch the clock and plan my evenings around my call to Lena.  At her end, Lena was dubbed “Cinderella” by her friends because no matter what she was doing, she ran out the door when the clock stuck a certain hour to make it home in time for my call.  It was kind of funny for both of us to have such a strong commitment to the calls.  And still there was no romantic content in our conversations.  Maybe some light flirting but nothing more.

I put together a package of photos for Lena.  LTP regularly used their clients as mules to schlep gifts and articles back and forth from America to Tver and vice versa.  Lena later told me that when she received my photos that her Mother’s comment was “Now there is a REAL man.”   I have to say that when I received Lena’s return package of photos, my mouth hit the floor.  My thoughts were, “Are you kidding me?  This woman belongs in fashion magazines, what in the hell is she messing with me for?”  The calls continued through October, November and into December when another plan started to take shape.

next:Planning (or lack of) for my first trip

[Photo Guy]

So far, so good Ken. Keep it coming.

[KenC]

Thanks Doug.

And BTW, everyone, your comments are welcomed.
Ken

[Lily]

I put together a package of photos for Lena.  LTP regularly used their clients as mules to schlep gifts and articles back and forth from America to Tver and vice versa.  Lena later told me that when she received my photos that her Mother’s comment was “Now there is a REAL man.”   
 

My understanding is that for Lena, the contact with you began from a phone conversation. Did she receive any information of you before receiving your first call? Or was the contact initially blind for her, and she had no idea who is the caller? After how many phone contacts did she receive your pictures and profile?

I have to say that when I received Lena’s return package of photos, my mouth hit the floor.  My thoughts were, “Are you kidding me?  This woman belongs in fashion magazines, what in the hell is she messing with me for?”  
 

As to a RW, that reaction is strange to me. What is given by nature, is perceived in Russia as granted. A beautiful woman is no wonder, therefore. Beauty is often regarded as no asset, but just a nice natural gift with a decorative function. Although, in the recent decade, there are more young women thinking of their appearance as of a mean to derive income.

[2tallbill]

Ken, it's great to finally hear your story!

Take care,

Bill

[Jazzyclassy]

Even my comments are welcomed ? ))) I doubt it

I do not know, this story has no meaning,  the clue phrase was she is so damn young and that she belongs to fashion magazines and so damn stunning, nothing about her character and about her personality , only that she was charming and down to earth.

What made you both like each other( age gap obviously included), finally love each other, for what did you love each other, for which character traits ?

What was her motivation? Also how your kids reacted your daughter especially?

that would be much more interesting  to hear

[KenC]

My understanding is that for Lena, the contact with you began from a phone conversation. Did she receive any information of you before receiving your first call? Or was the contact initially blind for her, and she had no idea who is the caller? After how many phone contacts did she receive your pictures and profile?

Of course she didn't have my photo on the first call, but I had to supply a photo to LTP once I had joined and they had it in the office.  The truth is that Lena never flipped over the first office photo though.  She got the package maybe 30 days after we started to talk.  Our relationship was built on the thoughts and ideas we both shared.

As to a RW, that reaction is strange to me. What is given by nature, is perceived in Russia as granted. A beautiful woman is no wonder, therefore. Beauty is often regarded as no asset, but just a nice natural gift with a decorative function. Although, in the recent decade, there are more young women thinking of their appearance as of a mean to derive income.

  Lena thinks more like you Lily.  But your and Lena's type of thinking is very different from American culture where even the slightest of beautiful women have a sense of entitlement because of their looks.
KenC

[KenC]

Even my comments are welcomed ? ))) I doubt it

Yes, Jazzy even you.  Just please don't drone on and on about your thoughts on age differences as your position on such is already known, OK?

I do not know, this story has no meaning,  the clue phrase was she is so damn young and that she belongs to fashion magazines and so damn stunning, nothing about her character and about her personality , only that she was charming and down to earth.

What made you both like each other( age gap obviously included), finally love each other, for what did you love each other, for which character traits ?

What was her motivation? Also how your kids reacted your daughter especially?

that would be much more interesting  to hear

Jazzy,
Please be patient.  It is only the very beginning of the story!  At this point we were not in love either.  As I said, I purposely avoided anything romantic over our phone conversations before we met.  We were exploring each other as people.  Getting to know each other.  We found that we were compatible in many areas however.  We had similar morals, character and truly enjoyed each other's personality.

At this point neither of my kids knew anything about my phone relationship with Lena.   Actually, I didn't share it with anyone else.  It was not unusual for me at this stage of the relationship either.
KenC

[2tallbill]

Even my comments are welcomed ? ))) I doubt it

I do not know, this story has no meaning,  the clue phrase was she is so damn young and that she belongs to fashion magazines and so damn stunning, nothing about her character and about her personality , only that she was charming and down to earth.

What made you both like each other( age gap obviously included), finally love each other, for what did you love each other, for which character traits ?

What was her motivation? Also how your kids reacted your daughter especially?

that would be much more interesting  to hear

Jazzy, I have never had an argument with you (that I can remember).

Ken wants to tell about how he met his wife, and the story about how they fell in love etc, and I want to hear it.

This thread is not the place to start an age debate. They are already married, in love and happy. I would argue the same if you wanted to tell everyone the story about you and the love of your life met, fell in love etc. and someone else wanted to argue about something else.

Take care,

Bill

[Jazzyclassy]

Yes, Jazzy even you.  Just please don't drone on and on about your thoughts on age differences as your position on such is already known, OK?
Jazzy,
Please be patient.  It is only the very beginning of the story!  At this point we were not in love either.  As I said, I purposely avoided anything romantic over our phone conversations before we met.  We were exploring each other as people.  Getting to know each other.  We found that we were compatible in many areas however.  We had similar morals, character and truly enjoyed each other's personality.

At this point neither of my kids knew anything about my phone relationship with Lena.   Actually, I didn't share it with anyone else.  It was not unusual for me at this stage of the relationship either.
KenC

Ah I thought you would post your story and then people can comment I thought it was your lyrical feeling from your past, I did not think you will post anything further , some more detailed one,ok we shall wait and see what are you gonna write

Bill, darling I asked a normal questions which is interesting  many people not only me, and with future KenC's posts am sure he will answer it

why you want to have an argument so much

[Jazzyclassy]

   This thread is not the place to start an age debate. They are already married, in love and happy. I would argue the same if you wanted to tell everyone the story about you and the love of your life met, fell in love etc. and someone else wanted to argue about something else.

           

That is why I will never post any report here about my life , cos I do not want people to comment about it and to judge anything, but KenC is doing it for his own pleasure , nobody is asking him to expose his private life

[Jet]

That's fine Jazzy, nobody has asked you to share more than you are comfortable saying, but if you are interested to hear more of KenC's story, maybe you should give him a chance to tell it before complaining that it has no meaning  .

(I know, you misunderstood and thought it was the whole thing, not just the first part. So now that you know there is more to come, relex and let the story unfold a bit.)

[I/O]

KenC: Better late than never. BTW don't leave out the first failed kiss.

I/O

[Serebro]

KenC, may I ask how old  your ex wife is, how many years had you lived together before you got divorced and about the reason of your divorce?!

[KenC]

KenC: Better late than never. BTW don't leave out the first failed kiss.

I/O

Got it already covered!  You will see.
KenC

[KenC]

KenC, may I ask how old  your ex wife is, how many years had you lived together before you got divorced and about the reason of your divorce?!

When we married I was 21 and she was 19 and we had already dated for 4 years.  The marriage lasted 21 years.  Most of them good.  We were great parents to two fine children, so the marriage was hardly a failure.

The reason for the divorce is a bit complicated.  My ex wife never developed herself as an individual.  She never worked a day of our married life together and focused mostly on the children.  Once the children grew to an independent age, she felt lost.  Through out the marriage I had always encouraged her to go to school or I offered to open a business for her, but she was never interested.  Then at almost 40 she started to focus on the things she wanted and her own self esteem.  Unfortunately, one of her esteem boosters was having an affair with another man. 
KenC

[Serebro]

The back story



  And then one night in October 98, upon checking the site, LTP had introduced a new promotion.  They listed 4 or 5 girls with English abilities that men could phone directly.  It was ungodly expensive but also very simple to do.  One of the women listed was Lena.  I have to say that the photos they posted literally took my breath away!  I had never before seen such a beautiful woman.  Not in any Victoria’s Secret catalog, not in any Playboy magazine, I mean nowhere.  (Just for the record the photos were not the least bit racy in any way.  Lena was in jeans and a nice sweater) She was just gorgeous.  So I picked up the phone and called her!

We hit it off on the phone instantly.  Her English was a bit rusty and in the beginning she struggled for word selection,

So like many other AM you had a great life with your AW, you had children together, then you got divorced.
If you met Lena through the agency it was obvious that you knew how old she was so what made you pick up the phone to call the woman who was of your children's age?!

I am just curious.

Another question:
Lena was a perfect beautiful girl from a very good family.What made her go to the agency that was full of western maniacs and losers and make her phone number avaivable and open to all men in the world who were ready to call?

PS:What made her spend 1 hour talking with an unknown guy whose photo and a profile she hadn't seen.
How many hours a day did she spend talking with other men calling to her?!

[Gator]

Two RW interrupt KenC with questions having a condescending tone.   If this keeps up, KenC will never complete his story.

This will go much better if everyone (and that includes the Newbies) refrains from asking questions until KenC is completed.  Does anyone actually believe KenC will not answer your questions at the end. 

So if you have a burning question, switch to decaffeinated coffee or take your ritalin.

[Turboguy]

Very interesting so far Ken,  I have toyed around with doing a TR on my first trip which was a few years before yours but if I ever did it would be more a humerous tale of what can go wrong and with a long wait for the happy ending that yours will have.

[Serebro]

Two RW interrupt KenC with questions having a condescending tone.   If this keeps up, KenC will never complete his story.

So if you have a burning question, switch to decaffeinated coffee or take your ritalin.

 
It's not a condescending tone, I have bright imagination and I have a pretty good image in my head and there are things that I can't understand!
For example I can't imagine myself calling to a cute-looking 2 yo boy from India whose photos in the Internet  I liked.So I asked KenC that question directly.

[KenC]

Two RW interrupt KenC with questions having a condescending tone.   If this keeps up, KenC will never complete his story.

This will go much better if everyone (and that includes the Newbies) refrains from asking questions until KenC is completed.  Does anyone actually believe KenC will not answer your questions at the end. 

So if you have a burning question, switch to decaffeinated coffee or take your ritalin.

Gator,
It is OK, really.  I do not think that Serebro or Jazzy have overstepped any boundries.  I welcomed the comments up thread.  I have much more already written, which I will post the next installment later today.  I really do not mind discussing it as it is posted.  When I think the questions are too personal, I will let them know.  I am not too shy for that.
But thanks any way.
KenC

[Serebro]

KenC
пеши исчо!!!
(write more)

[KenC]

So like many other AM you had a great life with your AW, you had children together, then you got divorced.
If you met Lena through the agency it was obvious that you knew how old she was so what made you pick up the phone to call the woman who was of your children's age?!

I am just curious.

It was a spur of the moment action.  It was easy and I just did it without too much thinking really.  I never imagined that that call would lead to all that I have now.  It was a spontaneous action.

Another question:
Lena was a perfect beautiful girl from a very good family.What made her go to the agency that was full of western maniacs and losers and make her phone number avaivable and open to all men in the world who were ready to call?

  First of all, Lena does not share your opinion on western men.  She met many very nice gentlemen.  Some older than me and some younger.  Some richer than me and some not as rich.  Lena enjoys people.  She was intrigued by meeting foreign men and got a chance to use her English.  Lena has the unique ability to turn a potential suitor into a friend.  I have seen it many times since we have known each other.  Most of the men she met, she turned into friends.  She even helped a few of them find the right woman.  She also never accepted any gifts or trips that were offered.

PS:What made her spend 1 hour talking with an unknown guy whose photo and a profile she hadn't seen.
How many hours a day did she spend talking with other men calling to her?!

Come on Serebro, give me a little credit here.  I can be a very charming man, really!   And I give great phone!

Lena only received two other calls!  And neither of them called back.  The promotion was a flop for LTP.
KenC

[KenC]

Planning (or lack of) for my first trip
I realized that the very best time for me to ever travel to Russia was the time right after Christmas.  My company dealt with retailers and there would be no need for me to stick around during that time period.  Besides, my son would be home from school on his Christmas break and could handle anything that came up in my absence.

I called Ray and told him of my plans to visit Tver.  Of course he thought I was completely nuts, but also did everything possible to make it happen.  A visa?  I need a visa?  Huh?  :noidea: That was the level of my naivety at the time.  LTP was a full service agency at the time and arrangements were actually pretty easy to accomplish.  They would pick me up at the airport with a car, driver and terp.  They would take me to an LTP apartment, have terps available 24/7 and drive me any where locally.  Pretty easy as I said.

But Ray threw a monkey wrench into the whole deal.  He insisted that I make a list of other RW to meet.  What?  I was only coming to meet Lena and maybe see a little of Russia.  Ray really had my best interest in mind and his advice was solid.  He told me that many guys had come to meet Lena and that all had been rejected by her (in a most kind manner, but still rejected no less).  He told me the probability of success with her and I hitting it off were slim to none.  I never let this idea hurt my motivations of meeting Lena because regardless of any romantic possibilities, I just had to meet this wonderful young woman that I had come to know.  I was going there with the thought that anything in a romantic vein would not happen.  I did eventually make a list of other women for Ray to contact and see if there was any interest in meeting me while I was in Tver.  What the hell was I getting myself in to?  :hairraising:

The flight and landing
Flew Northwest out of Detroit to Amsterdam, changed planes and went on to Moscow around December 27, 1998 and arrived around 5 PM Moscow time with no real issues.  Baggage claim and customs were no big deal but then panic hit me square between the eyes!  There was no terp and driver holding up a sign for me.  Holy sh!t, maybe I should have brought the phone number to the LTP office?  Or maybe even the address?  WTF was I going to do now?  I guess years of having a secretary coordinate my travels had spoiled me into a false sense of security.  This trip I did on my own and boy did I drop the proverbial ball.  How stupid could I have been not to plan this better? :selfharm:

I walked over to the vulture taxi drivers and started to negotiate.  The first driver that could understand “Tver” wanted $500.  I made the international sign of “crazy” with my finger to my head.  I finally got one cabbie down to $100 which is cheap for as long a trip as it is, but there also was no telling if I would reach my final destination or not either.  That is when an out of breath terp, Olga, and driver showed up from LTP.  Thank God.

Olga explained that there was traffic and blah blah blah, they were late.  So sorry for any inconvience.  As we loaded my bags into the very small car, Olga informed me that we had to make a stop in Moscow at Western Union.  It all sounded reasonable to me, so I didn’t object.  What I didn’t know was that Moscow was in the opposite direction from Tver from the airport and that Moscow rush hour traffic was a killer even then.  This little “stop over” was going to cost me an additional 2 hours on top of the 16 hours I already flew and a 2 ½ hour drive to Tver.  Later when I put all the facts together, I was pissed that LTP would treat a client in this manner.  The driver was going to Western Union to pick up LTP’s payroll as there was no Western Union office in Tver at the time.  As I think about it now, they could have spared me the trouble and I could have paid my money directly to the Tver office and saved them the fees.

When we finally finished the LTP banking, we drove to Tver as I smoldered about the inconvenience, but more importantly, I was now going to be late for my meeting with Lena.  The original plan allowed me time to go to my flat, freshen up and then meet Lena.  Now I was going to be more than an hour late and that was going directly to the LTP office.  Mind you, there were no cell phones at this time, so all I could think was Lena would not be informed of the situation.  This is not how I planned our first meeting to start.  In the end, I still made the driver take me to my flat so I could at least wash my face after 20 hours of road time before meeting Lena.

Meeting Lena for the first time
Needless to say I walked into LTP’s office with more than a bit of attitude.  As Lena would later say, I walked in like I owned the joint!  The “take charge” attitude was an instant turn on for her she later admitted.  I was very apologetic for making her wait for me and we had a quick hug and a cheek kiss between us.  Secretly I was blown away by her beauty.  But it was more than just beauty, it was her confidence too.  I quickly assessed the situation, knew that I was hungry and she was too, so off we went to the restaurant.  There was a switch to the night time terp, Yelena.  Lena had mutual friends with Yelena, but they were not close friends themselves.  I figured Lena wanted some support as Yelena’s English was not much better than Lena’s.  No problem for me.  I understood completely.

After entering the restaurant, we went to check our coats and there was a group of young Russian couples checking their coats ahead of us.  Boys will be boys and these goofs started rough housing by pushing and shoving each other.  I stepped in between Lena and these young men and said in a strong voice, “Hey!” and held my hand up for them to stop.  They calmed right down (with a little adult supervision) and it was not a problem any more.  Man, did Lena like the way I handled myself (she later told me.)

Dinner was amazing.  Well maybe not dinner, but dinner with Lena was amazing.  I gave the menus to Lena and asked her to order some appetizers and dinner for the three of us and then turned to Yelena and told her to order a bottle of champagne.  Moments later Lena and I were toasting each other with our arms intertwined with our champagne glasses.  It was like being with a close friend that I had not seen in many years.  It was so damn comfortable, it was scary.  How could it be possible that such a woman could be seemingly so interested in me?  I then decided not to allow any negative thoughts to enter into this time with her and to just be myself.  She either liked it or didn’t, but I wasn’t going to let any worries change my behavior in any way.

After dinner, Lena and I grabbed a cab and first went to my flat to drop me off.  Yelena had found her own way home.  Lena walked me to the street level entrance to my flat and I moved in to kiss her goodnight.  She stopped me cold.  She opened the door and stepped inside and only then allowed me to kiss her.  It was not a passionate kiss, but it was better than a kiss from your sister, if you know what I mean.

more to come tomorrow.

[Jazzyclassy]

well why not to ask questions now , otherwise we will forget what we wanted to ask him  and it will be a pity .