Romance tours in USA

[JamesTee]

Do anyone remember anything posted on this board about "romance tours" to meet FSU women already in the USA? I read it probably less than 2 years ago. I think they had socials in San Francisco and Virginia Beach and somewhere else. Just wondering if the organization still exisits and if anyone took one. I guess there are many young Russian girls already here (for college?) since I went to the Outer Banks last year and the place was filled with young Russian girls working in the stores. Unfortunately, I had another girl with me so nothing could happen. If these tours still exist it might be an easy and cheap way to find what I'm looking for. I don't know that these girls are as willing to accept an older guy like me since they undoubtedly have so many American guys their own age chasing them.

[I/O]

If these tours still exist it might be an easy and cheap way to find what I'm looking for

If you are looking for "Easy and Cheap", I'd suggest checking through the local brothels. NOTHING about marriage and particularly an international marriage is "Easy or Cheap". Without a serious change of thinking Sir, I suggest you are considering the completely wrong target demographic regarding a potential partner.

I/O 

[JamesTee]

Ok, I should have said "easier and cheaper," but I know nothing is cheap about the process. And I'm 40 and looking at mid- 20s.

[Turboguy]

I do think the RW in America are not as accepting of an age gap as they are in Russia.   That seems to be one way they get Americanized.   I won't say you can't do what you want.   When I was nearly a decade older most of the AW I dated were younger than your target age.

[2tallbill]

Ok, I should have said "easier and cheaper," but I know nothing is cheap about the process. And I'm 40 and looking at mid- 20s.

There are dozens of threads about the age debate and hopefully this doesn't turn into another one here.
Unless you are a Hollywood actor, a pop Icon or a zillionare, then finding a mid twenties lady here in the USA
will prove to be difficult. I knew a college professor or two who managed it, so who knows.

After many trips to the FSU, I can tell you that I don't look at girls in their twenties anymore.
(ok, I look but I don't pursue them). There are just too many gorgeous women who are older and have
more life experience and more in common with me.

Udachi!!  Good luck


Bill

PS: Chose a woman with pretty eyes and a clever mind, because in 30 years she will still have the same eyes and clever mind.

[viking]

I think it will be a rough road to find a woman in the US (AW or RW) who is in her mid twenties and wants to date a guy in his forties. But there are a lot of great women in their 30's who are available and have left a lot of the "clubbing" days behind her and are a lot more inclined to enter into a LTR and marriage.

[catzenmouse]

You all might want to check out the OP's previous posts, as he's got a history of spreading it rather deeply, before you waste any more time on him.

[JamesTee]

Spreading what? Asking a legitimate question and expecting a respectful answer?

[ScottinCrimea]

Okay, I looked back at you prior posts.  If I have it correctly, you are a 40 year old teacher who (of course) looks young for your age who has decided that you wants a young 20 something with a professional degree that could translate to big bucks in the US.  You have thought about it for three years now and are looking for the easiest, cheapest way to win your trophy.  If you have spent any time reading this forum, you should know that there is no easy cheap way to be successful at this venture and if you're not willing to put in the time and money to do it the best way possible, you're in for more than you can handle.

A twenty-something with a professional degree is not going to drop everything to run to the US with the first 40 somethng American who comes along.  There would have to be some very compelling reasons.  It would be either for love, which isn't going to happen without several trips and a lot of face time, which costs money; because she's looking for a ticket to America, which will cost you a lot of money later on once she's here, established and can move on to something better; or because you have a lot of money and she's willing to do what it takes to be in a position to take a good portion of it.  The bottom line is that if you're looking for a cheap and easy way to find a FSUW, all you'll end up with is a cheap and easy girl.

[Turboguy]

OK, so you are 40 and looking for someone around 25 or less.   That is a 15 year age gap which is not that unusual.   You have been thinking about this for more than 3 years since your first posts were back in 2005 so my suggestion would be to make some trips and see what happens.  

[I/O]

Ok, I should have said "easier and cheaper," but I know nothing is cheap about the process.

Point is James, "easier" is simply not something which gels with international relationships. 40's looking for mid 20's, yep it happens, it did to me, BUT something I have noticed is those in their 40's or more who go specifically looking for young'uns usually get their arse handed to them sooner or later. Conversely, those in their 40 odds who end up married to younger women have usually done so as a result of some exceptional or freakish situation developing.

And I'm 40 and looking at mid- 20s.

You and 40 million other men who are doing the same thing................looking. Don't go cross eyed in the process as most do.

if you're looking for a cheap and easy way to find a FSUW, all you'll end up with is a cheap and easy girl.

Hence my suggestion to search the brothels. They're easier and ultimately MUCH cheaper I would imagine. What do they cost? $2-3-400/hour? Waaaaaaaaaaaaay cheaper than having a Russian wife.

I/O

[JamesTee]

I didn't write this post to flame - and I'm not looking for a "trophy" who can earn big bucks in the USA. Just wondering why everyone is so defensive, especially when most guys here are married to much younger women? Well, I think I know why, but I won't say it. It just seems curious that if I mention I'm looking for someone a lot younger (and what guy doesn't want a younger woman?), everyone attacks me. At least I'm being honest. I know there are absolutely gorgeous women over 30 or even 40, but if I'm happier with a younger one, so what? Whose business is it? I want children and I'm not going to get that with a 40 year old. If I look for a much younger girl, I'm not going to treat it like a burden. If most of the men here marry women much younger, I shouldn't? I can't believe the men here who attack me are so special that a younger woman falls "in love" with him for any reason other than money. Oh that's right - you're better than me. Well, I asked a legitimate question and I can see some tried to offer sincere advice (thanks Turboman), but I can see that there's not much helpful advice here. Attack away, but at the same time, ask yourself why you're so defensive? Peace out...

[I/O]

James, settle down and chill a little. You came into this thread like a young boxer leading with your chin. A couple of guys have landed a soft jab or two on it to remind you of how it can be in this caper.

The bit that people are trying to get across is the "Easier and Cheaper" thing. There is simply NO easy or cheap way to do this. Couple that with your spoken desire for youth is entirely suggestive of a guy who has neither the time, money or good sense to see this type of process through. If that is not the case, then you should not be worried by a few questioning comments. Thin skinned won't cut it with a Russian woman. Believe me it won't.

As for the San Francisco area social thing that was on someone's agenda, don't quote me, but I did get some second hand mail from someone who told me it had died a natural death. :noidea: :noidea:

I/O

[Turboguy]

James, there are some comments that will usually trigger some adverse comments.  I can't say truthfully that they really should, they just do.   One statement is "I look much younger than my age".   Well some people do and many people use that expression and it is far from the worst thing in the world to say but for some reason it often triggers some unkind comments here.  

Another that seems to have the same effect is that "I am looking for a very young woman"   If you end up with a 25 year old you would proably be a year less than the average age gap.   Sometimes the guys who say that are much older than you are but the statement can trigger some negative comments.   The reality is that a lot of the guys here figure a woman is not settled enough to be a good marriage candidate until about age 25.  Of course probably 75% of the RW get married way before that but that is our take on things is a sub-25 gal is too young.

Another trigger is when someone sounds like they are not able or willing to spend the money to do things right.  It is not an endever that can be accomplished on the cheap.   It takes time and money.   Guys who make one trip, meet a gal, fill out the paperwork on day 5, and sit home waiting for the 7 months or so a visa takes are almost always shipping the gal back home at the end of the 90 day K-1 period.

The reality is that you have never made a trip, don't have a lot of experience and want some guidance.  In a perfect world we would do all we can to help you learn and succeed.  You just inadvertently made some statements that triggered some comments that you may not have received under other conditions.  

Now a few other things.  In the USA the typical 30 year old has three kids and a beer belly.  There are some very attractive 30 year old RW who don't have kids and would like them so you could probably be a little more flexible on age and still accomplish your goals.  You may find as you meet women that the sub 25 group is more interested in going to the disco than sitting home and playing mom.   You also may find a good gal who does want to settle down and have kids who is under 25.  

[Gator]

JamesTee,

Over 3 years ago in 2005, you made a couple of interesting comments:

Ken, You need to check the attitude, DUDE!

Ken, you don't even know me. Are you jealous, grandpap?

KenC has recently shared with us a report of his trip to Russia 10 years ago to meet his bride.  Why don’t you read it to see if you have the same qualities to attract a good woman.

My feeling is that you never will make a trip because you did not three years ago and I still see the same brash attitude typical of men with big mouths and no balls.

If you do go I can only imagine what you will bring back if you manage to avoid the professional daters and the like.

Now after letting you know how I feel, you must realize that I am not such a bad guy.  In fact, I will try to help you with your original question.   The only tour of RW living in America is one that you arrange yourself.  To do this, go to bride.ru and select “USA” in “her country” in the search function.  It has listed 61 RW age 20-25 now residing in the USA.  Write them, call them, meet them.  Knock yourself out.

[catzenmouse]

I believe those were said to me Gator. However this comment WAS directed at KenC:

"KenC,

I don't know you, but I know myself, and if you can bag one women, I'm sure I would have a choice of hundreds, maybe thousands"

There were a few other beauties along with how everyone can't believe how young he looks and teenage girls find him attractive.

No worries, lots of folks in this world are nothing but a stain when you take away the bloated self image.

Methinks this stud best stick to the roller rink or the WWF crowds. They would probably be a good fit.

[Lily]

  In fact, I will try to help you with your original question.   The only tour of RW living in America is one that you arrange yourself.  To do this, go to bride.ru and select “USA” in “her country” in the search function.  It has listed 61 RW age 20-25 now residing in the USA.  Write them, call them, meet them.  Knock yourself out.

I agree with Gator's advice on the point. Just not only bride.ru, there are a lot of other online sources to look for a RW already in USA.

I think that the age group of 23-27 yo girls in the U.S. would be distinct by their lower priority to get married. They are on their prime for studying and making a professional start. Also my guess would be that this group is not many. Some of young girls arrived in the U.S. with their family, often driven by their parents. Some arrived under student F-type visa. I could hardly think of other ways to get to the U.S.

If I would be a personal counsellor to JamesTee, I'd advise him that his goal is well worth pursuing, but he needs to work very hard for it. James should make himself a very, VERY attractive man. His appearance, demeanor, social skills, articulacy have to be brought up to the highest standards. Financial status should be probably improved, too, but I would not mention it because it does depend on the person in lesser degree that the things I listed.

By the way, James, why Russian woman? why not a fiancee of American, French or German ethnic background? any difference for you if you prefer to date in your country?

[BC]

I agree with Gator's advice on the point. Just not only bride.ru, there are a lot of other online sources to look for a RW already in USA.

Having exhibited a reluctance to travel over an extended period of time, also agree this might be the best choice.

I think that the age group of 23-27 yo girls in the U.S. would be distinct by their lower priority to get married. They are on their prime for studying and making a professional start. Also my guess would be that this group is not many. Some of young girls arrived in the U.S. with their family, often driven by their parents. Some arrived under student F-type visa. I could hardly think of other ways to get to the U.S.

Many also come over for some summer hire programs.

If I would be a personal counsellor to JamesTee, I'd advise him that his goal is well worth pursuing, but he needs to work very hard for it. James should make himself a very, VERY attractive man. His appearance, demeanor, social skills, articulacy have to be brought up to the highest standards. Financial status should be probably improved, too, but I would not mention it because it does depend on the person in lesser degree that the things I listed.

In my experience (even my own) once you hit 30's and 40's, you are what you are.  I would not encourage artificial improvements as they are with high probability only temporary.

By the way, James, why Russian woman? why not a fiancee of American, French or German ethnic background? any difference for you if you prefer to date in your country?

I think if James reflects on his past dating/relationship record he probably knows the answer. Just guessing.. - He wants something he can't get with his current state of affairs and seems to believe the shortcomings can somehow be overcome with a young, nubile, malleable woman who can adapt to his ways and contribute financially to his household.

If this is the case James (even partially), I would highly suggest taking the advice that 'RW are not for everyone'.   My direct experience is that the greater part of adaptation regards the man and not the RW.

There is absolutely nothing demeaning with accepting that a RW may not be for you.  In fact, if you do decide this is the case, I would consider it quite smart.

[Lily]

In my experience (even my own) once you hit 30's and 40's, you are what you are.  I would not encourage artificial improvements as they are with high probability only temporary.
 

Disagree by and large. 

The great thing in life is that we don't HAVE to stay what we are if we are not happy with that. The remarkable thing in life is that the only person has ultimate power over you - it's YOU, no one else. The wonderful thing in life is that we are able to change yourself, in many cases.

For instance, Lily in her 30s and Lily in her 40s are different. Most changes affacted personal style and expressiveness. It feels great. As far as I can breathe, I can change to the desired direction.

I am not saying the improvements can only be artificial. Probably James and other people only need to put emphasis and to improve their strenghs, and learn how to compensate for their shortcomings that they cannot change. Also, if the improvements would affect the lifestyle of the person, they are far from temporary. They are lifelong lasting! 

[Gator]

Ken Catzenmouse,

Thank you for correcting my mistake in identifying the correct object of JamesTee's "gratitude."  And I also missed his comment to KenC. 

This fellow JamesTee sure is a Prince of a Man. 

Catz, it is remarkable how you are on top of everything considering you are a "grandpap."   

[Gator]

BC and Lilly,

I agree with both of you about change. 

Some people need to change and they do.  Others remain the same, yet needed not to change because they were already solid citizens.  I imagine that is mostly your case BC (seriously, not a joke).  In my case I went through major changes in my mid-30s and mid 50-s, both for the better I hope.

There are also those people who need to change and never do.  It is as if they are completely self-absorbed or without true, caring friends - they never become aware of the rut they are in,  how they affect others, what they could do to improve, etc. 

[BC]

Lily,

Yes, I also agree that over time we 'change' although I prefer to call it 'grow' instead.

What was suggested though seemed to be more of a personal training session for the very short term goal of highlighting positive abilities for a RW search.

'Core' personality traits, attitudes, values and habits are set over large amounts of time.

A shy person will tend to remain shy, as will an introvert or someone who dislikes travel, or likes football and beer on Sunday nights, or is a Harley fan, plays guitar, or etc etc.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is quite useless to read a book on successful dating or improving one's self image while on a flight to SVOII.

In general, I don't think we disagree  

[catzenmouse]

Catz, it is remarkable how you are on top of everything considering you are a "grandpap."   

I've got a lot of time to kill here at the old folks home waiting for Sponge Bath Saturday Night!

[Taz]

Back to the OP's original question. I can't specifically comment on tours but there was a particular website devoted to RW here in the US looking for a man. I believe it was called "Red Natasha" or something similar to that. If memory serves me correctly, it was located in Brighton Beach.

Quite honestly I wouldn't date most RW that have lived her for any length of time. Most of them change quite a bit and often not for the better. I don't want to say they all are that way but I've seen the (d)evolution of the women here. My ex is much ruder than she was before. Her tolerance is definitely less. There is no way I'd date her now if I met her. Of course I know how her child will interfere as well but in general her personality is much worse than before.

I also get tired of the "keeping up with the Ivan's" mentality here that is often prevalent among RW. Of course not always so please don't waste my time saying your RW isn't. I know not ALL are bad or ALL are good. Everyone likes to think either he or she is the exception. It is human nature.

Best place to get an RW is from the source. Then you can have more effect on her acclimatization to your local environment.

[BC]

I imagine that is mostly your case BC (seriously, not a joke). 

Gator,

Thanks for the thought - 'solid citizen' did induce a little chuckle..  

Lets settle on 'been through a lot of BS in life and maintained the ability to learn'.