Interested in everyone's thoughts ...

[Simoni]

I can count 11 AM+RW couples that I knew here where I live, being a part of Russian community. Only 2 are still married. I didn't know these people untill they started coming to different Russian events in town, so I had no part of matching them up. I believe they used marriage agencies from talking to a few. But most didn't want to say how they met, I belive they were embarassed for some reason about the "mail order bride" thing. I think that this forum is a very good place to get some education on the subject.

Well, that includes Marina and me. 
And we are still together.   And yep, we used a marriage agency     
It's really no different that using an internet online meeting system like match.com  (which I also used back "in the day").

[tim 360]

The successful OMB's on here are more of the EXCEPTION than the rule, I am confident...you too Jet.  But, I think they are a very fractional share of couples.  I would not disbelieve 80% divorce rate since fools are born every second.

[Lily]

As for jobs, Canada is doing quite well. It is quite easy for somebody to find a job. My wife started looking not too long ago for a job, something to get out of the house during her spring break at school. She found within days a job at a restaurant and worked a couple of weeks. She did not like it, so I told her to quit. If we had needed the money, then she would likely have kept the job. If we were to look a bit harder, I am sure we could find something better.
 

Why it is like that in Canada, what do you think? Is it applicable for all kind of jobs, inlcuding jobs in larger international companies having offices in Canada?

[Misha]

Why it is like that in Canada, what do you think? Is it applicable for all kind of jobs, inlcuding jobs in larger international companies having offices in Canada?

It depends on the city. In Calgary, for example, some Russians do quite well. You have some Canadian corporations that were doing business in Russia and the FSU and Calgary attracted a number of Russian specialists. When I was still looking, I chatted with a number of women online: Russians in Vancouver and other large cities. Some were doing quite well.

[Eduard]

Well, that includes Marina and me. 
And we are still together.   And yep, we used a marriage agency     
It's really no different that using an internet online meeting system like match.com  (which I also used back "in the day").

yes Simoni you are one of the 2 that are married  The other couple I know for about 6 years, he works at Publix meat department and i don't think he makes nearly close to the 60K. Most likely half of that. Yet they are happy together and just had the second baby...but all the others are not as lucky...

[Eduard]

I knew my wife very well before she arrived, thanks. Before I met her I'd dated dozens of FSU women, both abroad and in the USA; I did not roll the dice when I asked her to marry me.

She was not fluent in English, but we spoke every day - without fail - for hours and chatted for several more hours more each day.

this right there shows that you are an exception and not the rule. I haven't met any WM who'd dated dozens of RW both here and in Russia. I have one client now, member of this forum who dated 1 RW and it didn't turn out good. The rest of my clients never dated a RW and most don't have the time or resources to do it. If you had so much experience with them you probably learned a thing or two about the cultural differences and how to read them. But if a guy hasn't had all that experience dating dozens of RW he might be doing a wise thing using help from someone like myself instead of playing the Russian Roulette and just hope for the best IMO.

[Eduard]

The successful OMB's on here are more of the EXCEPTION than the rule, I am confident...you too Jet.  But, I think they are a very fractional share of couples.  I would not disbelieve 80% divorce rate since fools are born every second.

I agree with this assessment to a point. I don't think that it takes a fool to make a serious mistake when it comes to finding a Russian wife. I think that most men go through agencies because they are not aware of alternatives (my and Gabaub's method, or even I/O's and Jet's) I already expressed how I feel about agencies. I will still say that only a very small segment of single female population will sign up to an agency that markets them to foreigners. And IMHO the majority of the women who do sign up will have ulterior motives. Women all over the world are great actresses and can fool an inexperienced man easily into believing whatever she wants him to believe. When you are dealing with a language barrier and a different culture on top of that you can be the brightest, smartest man but you will still fall for her charms and her lies. I think that a man might luck out and meet a good match through an agency (Simoni and this other guy I know did it for example!) but IMO there is a very high probability of divorce in most cases, once she gets her green card. Dan, I don't know if it's exactly 80% or more or a little less. But it seems like I'm not the only one who thinks this statistic might be valid...

[KenC]

Eduard,
I agreed with your assessment of percentages of failure, but now you seem to be taking this poor thread way off the orginial track, don't you think?
KenC

[Simoni]

Eduard,
I agreed with your assessment of percentages of failure, but now you seem to be taking this poor thread way off the orginial track, don't you think?
KenC

Yeah, I agree. In fact, several of us have contributed to this strand drift, myself included.

Out of respect for USCfan, let's chill on this, ok?   These issues have been debated elsewhere and detract from the questions USCFan was asking for advice on.

Time to drop it, IMHO.

[Gator]

Hidden among all this off-topic fluff was an absolutely fantastic tidbit.  How many read this, coming from an intelligent yank who has lived in Russia for a long time?

Much has been written on the quality of life in Russia so I won't rehash it here but ultimately your success or failure depends on the individual. To live here requires a number of things, the main one being an ability to roll with whatever gets thrown at you. Don't expect life to be nice, neat, simple and organized.  It's not.   Russia is basically a place with a very thin veneer of civilization over a society that is in near anarchy. The government is a joke, interested only in the well-being of their friends (nothing new there), the judicial system is ineffective, and absolutely everything -and everyone- is for sale.

It's a real roller coaster ride and it's not for everyone, but if you have a strong sense of adventure, and a stronger sense of humor, the ability to think on your feet and not be bound by convention then you should do okay.

Phil's insightful comment applies for sure to USCFAN; in fact, Phil is an example of the interesting expats I mentioned in my long post.

More important, Phil's comment applies to every man who travels to Russia to meet RW, even if for only a week.  Understand this and you will begin to understand the intrinsic mentality of these lovely women.

[groovlstk]

Why it is like that in Canada, what do you think? Is it applicable for all kind of jobs, inlcuding jobs in larger international companies having offices in Canada?

Lily, it's also very easy for a Russian person to find a job in the US. As always though, the devil's in the details, as low-end jobs are in abundance but for professionals or something you'll want to make a career of, it's not as easy.

I've said it before that if a man marries a woman who wants to continue her career, it's part of his responsibility to do all he can for her. As I mentioned earlier, my wife had a great career in Moscow as an interior designer at Grand. When she began looking for work in the US last Autumn, we were shocked at the response she had - her first interview resulted in a job offer (and that streak continued through four subsequent interviews). The problem was that many firms that advertised for interior designers were furniture stores that simply wanted a saleperson who could tell customers what colors complimented their new sofa, what accessories were appropriate, etc. These jobs were not bad jobs, but for someone like her with two degrees, it was several steps backwards. Other firms tried to take advantage of her as an immigrant by telling her she had to work 6 days per week with no vacation or time off. In the end, my wife worked at two of these firms and left each after a day on the job, with my full support. One was a simple sales position and the other firm was run by a Russian guy who made all sorts of demands and advances on her (and my advice to women who come to the US is to never, ever work for Russian firms. It's very easy to fall into that trap of familiarity, but avoid it at all cost). To make a long story short, not long after she found a job doing exactly what she wants to do, with the added bonus of working from home 3-4 days per week. Gator earlier used the word "mentor" in describing how a guy should behave in helping his wife find a job, and I would concur. Be her career coach, make sure she understands that she doesn't have to jump at the first job offer she has or suffer through menial and unrewarding work; be patient and supportive. When it comes to work your wife's fulfillment and happiness are her own responsibility and there's not much a guy can do to help, but if you can point her down the right path, give her the room and time to find something she truly enjoys, it will make you both happier.

[Eduard]

slight correction: I know 3 couples that are married, out of 11 AM+RW couples
OK now, back on topic!

[Simoni]

More important, Phil's comment applies to every man who travels to Russia to meet RW, even if for only a week.  Understand this and you will begin to understand the intrinsic mentality of these lovely women.

Very true, Gator.  Very true.

And Phil-- great post!