Back from Simferopol

[Daveman]

Well now, this was both the best and worst trip to date.  Everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong (got up close and personal with the Ukrainian medical system) and at the same time, had the best visit with a woman yet. 

I guess not everything that could have gone wrong did because I AM still alive to post this, but Murphy was indeed hard at work on this visit.  Truly, one needs a vast sense of humor in this process sometimes, otherwise said individual will in all likelihood spend his life in an FSU prison.

Things went so well with the lady (Larisa) that I changed my return tickets (I damn thee to the depths of hades Aerosvit) and stayed an extra couple of weeks.  I also spent several days with her parents and I really like them too.  They are top notch people.  All in all the visit completely rocked, relation-wise...

So, I proposed on the first day, gave her a CZ ring, bought her a new flat in the city center, and filed for the K-1 before ever returning home... life is grand... joking aside, things look very good and the next meeting is being planned for June/July.  I'm taking this a day at a time.

Anyway, just saying a quick hello to everyone. I'll post a couple of pics later after I get settled in here.

Dave

P.S. Hey, Keith from California, did you make it here to RWD? It was a pleasure meeting you and your lady.

[SANDRO43]

Well now, this was both the best and worst trip to date.  Everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong (got up close and personal with the Ukrainian medical system)

Welcome back Dave, did you also get kicked by a horse like Taz ?

[catzenmouse]

Welcome Home Daveman!

 You waited a whole day to propose? Foot dragger!!! Hope you bought the $3000.00 wedding dress while you were there also.

 We'll be looking forward to your TR with pics!

Ken

[AnastassiaAsh]

Welcome back home Daveman!
I am so happy for you!  This is awesome.  But what really happened to you there? An accident? 

[KenC]

So, I proposed on the first day, gave her a CZ ring, bought her a new flat in the city center, and filed for the K-1 before ever returning home... life is grand... joking aside, things look very good and the next meeting is being planned for June/July.  I'm taking this a day at a time.


Dave

I just knew you had it in ya!    Welcome home and get rested so you can spill the beans here.
KenC

[Muj]

Welcome back and congratulations Davemen

[Daveman]

Thanks y'alluns!

heh, I didn't actually buy the dress, I just handed her the cash - of course she was testing me to see if I am greedy so I passed! Seemed to have failed the idiocy exam though.

Didn't get kicked by a horse but I did get my a$$ completely whupped by a sinister drywall wielding babushka hobbit (only half joking with that sentence).

I've been completely lazy since my return and haven't even snagged the pics from the notebook yet but I'll get to it in a day or two.

[catzenmouse]

Didn't get kicked by a horse but I did get my a$$ completely whupped by a sinister drywall wielding babushka hobbit (only half joking with that sentence).

This one we absolutely have to know about!

C'mon Dave, Get yer lazy butt up and tell us a story...

[Kuna]

Hey Dave,

Sounds like a great (and/but interesting) trip...  but if you don't hurry up and post some details we'll have to get Dan to create and move this thread to the "Non-Trip Report" section...

Glad to hear it went well... LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING MORE!   

Kuna

[groovlstk]

Welcome back Dave, add me to the list of guys waiting for a full report

[dneid]

Didn't get kicked by a horse but I did get my a$$ completely whupped by a sinister drywall wielding babushka hobbit (only half joking with that sentence).

Hey, Dave,
Maybe I should introduce to the sweet little babushka I met in Nikolaev.  She may have kicked your hobbit's butt for you.  She damn near beat a wino/beggar with her umbrella when he tried to approach me.

Can't wait to hear "the rest of the story".  Did you hear Paul Harvey when you read that?

[Daveman]

Sorry for the delay guys.. I should have kept my mouth shut about the TR until I got settled in here.  I've had to take care of quite a bit of business for my dad (for those who don't know me, I'm the primary caretaker of my elderly father and after being gone for 6 weeks, I can't believe the amount of
appointments and bureaucratic nonsense which had piled up).  TR will begin by the weekend...

Dnied, let's introduce the Babushka Mud Wrestling Network. Hobbit Assasin vs. The Umbrella Mangler would be a good first match! heh..

Dave

P.S. Dan, mods, feel free to move this thread over to the odds and ends area if you prefer and I'll start a new TR only thread to keep on track.

[Daveman]

And I'm back from Simferopol yet again!

With the most recent trip, I've crossed the milestone of 180 days or (accumulated 6 months) on the ground in FSU. I think it's 187 days but really, I'm not exactly sure.  So what do I know from this 'vast' in the culture? i know that the more I learn the less I know.  Really. But at least my Russian has improved! And I have found a great partner fits together with me like a hand in glove.  I'm very happy with our relationship, my relationship with her parents and the overall situation. I can honestly say I have found love beyond my dreams.  Life is good.

this visit was filled with celebrations, quite a bit of drinking, and just an all around great time... and no visits to the hospital.  I'm not really going to write a trip report per se but I'll write up some details about different events which happened over the course of multiple visits.

But anyway, here are some photos (posted with consent.. so go away)

First, one of me in a bit of a celebratory stupor... the champagne was sparkling grape juice compared to the homeade cherry wine (which was fantastic) from her aunt and uncle.  Then just some random shots and I'll add more later.

[Diplomacy]

Great News!  Be careful of the Vino   Look forward to hearing more.  Glad you made it this time without the ER.

[Simoni]

Great report and pics, Dave. Thanks for sharing!

~Simoni & Marina

[KenC]

Congrats Dave!  Tell us more please.
KenC

[AnastassiaAsh]

Dave, glad to hear everything is going good and strong!  So what's the plan now? 

[Daveman]

Dave, glad to hear everything is going good and strong!  So what's the plan now? 

The plan of attack at this point is to make another trip (though shorter, for this purpose only really) in March and pop the question, though it will come as no surprise I'm sure.  We already talk about the future, children, where we'll be in 5 years, goals, dreams, etc etc.  So really, we look at it like we already know we'll be together. But, I guess the engagement will become official in March at the year anniversary of our first meeting.  With the visa wait time, that will put us at the around the two year mark at the time of marriage.  I'm comfortable with that time frame. I think sooner would not be smart, and later would be a little too drawn out. 

And guys, just as an aside here. Larisa speaks English well. Certainly not fluent, but we can easily communicate.  At the beginning of our communication I enlisted Anastassia's help as translator so that Larisa could write to me in Russian while we spoke on the phone in English. That way she could easily express herself easily and not worry about the hassle getting everything correct in English.  It really helped jump start our learning about each other.  I would highly recommend this approach.  This is a multi-thousand dollar process and a few extra dollars up front really are well spent. Larisa appreciated it immensely and our communication blossomed quickly.  Of course we could have accomplished the same thing without help, but really, why not make things a little easier for the lady so you can learn about her more quickly? or weed out those not compatible more quickly?  Money well spent...  and a service professionally rendered..

Just wanted to give a plug for a great service I used and would recommend.

Dave

[KenC]

Dave,
I think that you are going about this in a very smart way.  I also would like to make a point regarding you hiring an interpretor instead of using one suggested by the lady in question.  Too many guys rely of their women to provide the terp IMO.  If it is a friend or acquaintance or even if the woman does the hiring, the terp has an underlying loyalty to the woman.  The guy may or may not get the whole truth from her terp.  Not that I am accusing the terps of lying, it is just that your interpretor may pass on all the nuances of tone and attitude that may be as telling as the actual words.  I am sure that Anastassia gave you some additional prospective based on Anastassia's "read" of the situation.  More than just the words, if you know what I mean.  Of course having a quality interpretor like Anastassia in already a big plus.
KenC

[Daveman]

Thanks KenC,
As the saying goes, "anything can happen", but I believe my tenacity and patience along with following sound advice of you, jb, groov, dan, I/O, AJ, Catz, captB, Vaughn, and of course Anastassia, just to name a few (the list of valuable contributors here is really quite long.. if only more of the guys would listen and learn something), as well as actually putting in the legwork and time to get my ass on planes and get over there will allow this dream to come to fruition. 

You are absolutely correct about Anastassia.  I cut the post a little short yesterday because I had to run errands (the time after a trip is a bit crazy here) but every point you mentioned above is spot on. There's a little more to the story.  I made the comment above that  "Of course we could have accomplished the same thing without help" and this is true, but by using the service of a *TRUSTED* translator/interpreter you can get a leg up on many problems in communication that can occur without your even realizing they exist.  In my case it was Anastassia because first of all, I like her - her personality is actually quite easy to work with, she has the same idea of how to go about this as I do (patience, time, CYA, etc), and she really looks out for you by watching for those small details.  She really watched my back so to speak..

The other side of it is that even those these women may be good with English, most if not all are nowhere near fluent, especially when speaking about complex topics such as relations, and it is still quite difficult for most of them to express themselves completely in a second language.  Allowing them the opportunity to relax and just "write from the soul" not only shows a respect for them and the relations, but it also shows them that you are absolutely serious about getting to know them, that you value their true thoughts, and that you are willing to invest something into the communication rather than sit back and let them do all the work.

I hope that made sense...  I would emphatically recommend to find your own interpreter, one that you click with -- even if your girl/girls speak English well, because it DOES make a big difference in a very good way.  I speak from experience in this regard.  This is my 4th FSUW relation... I winged it completely on my own for the first three, and there is no comparison... it's just much easier all the way around to learn *important aspects and traits* about your lady.  Even the English conversations on the phone become easier because the lady is more open and relaxed because she knows that anything which is not understood can simply be written in Email.

Okay, enough about this topic.. I'll begin writing the "story" here shortly...

Dave

[GoodOlBoy]

....I would emphatically recommend to find your own interpreter, one that you click with -- even if your girl/girls speak English well, because it DOES make a big difference in a very good way.... 

Hi Daveman.

Although this may be one, I try not to ask stupid questions.

If the lady in question can understand English (read and write), why do you think you need an interpreter?



GOB

[Daveman]

Hi Daveman.

Although this may be one, I try not to ask stupid questions.

If the lady in question can understand English (read and write), why do you think you need an interpreter?



GOB

Hey GOB, I don't necessarily think anyone 'needs' it, as in will fail without, but I think it's a great tool - especially at the beginning of communication.  I think using whatever tools are at your disposal makes good sense to make the process easier for you and your lady, more efficient, quicker to learn... that kind of thing.  You can use a pair of pliers to tighten an engine block bolt - same end result... However the torque wrench is quicker, easier, and far more efficient.   

Dave

[Mila]

I'm very glad for you Thanks for nice report and pics. I wish you all the best! Keep us posted

[Simoni]

Although this may be one, I try not to ask stupid questions.

If the lady in question can understand English (read and write), why do you think you need an interpreter?

Not a stupid question at all. 

IMHO, get the third party out of the way as quickly as possible. 

Better yet, DO date a girl who speaks good English, and never have a third party.  In our case, Marina was fluent and we NEVER had a terp. Much better that way.

[Gator]

Daveman,

Your TR flew under my radar.  Thank you for sharing, especially the photos (I want to see the written consent).  She is a beauty, and I can see that you let your fur grow for the winter trip. 

You are advancing the relationship at a perfect pace IMO.

A terp is also useful for reading something between the lines.