Hello everyone, new to RWD and going to Russia on May 8th

[Wienerin]

felix8787 , the woman has two jobs, a 5 yo and a small appartment.
And you are complaining of the lack of quality time with her?
With this schedule I won'd have half an hour for MYSELF (forget somebody else'e self)
(It is not nice- to stay with one woman and call another)
 

I did not notice much complaining - mostly commendable effort at understanding and some sad disappointment too. Frankly I was somewhat stunned. I understand all her difficulties and commitments, as well as her situation, but, sorry, the guy didn't descend on her out of the blue sky, she didn't meet him yesterday in a singles bar, and she must have had some meause of expectations as to the future with him, otherwise why bother?

With all her porblems - couldn't she make an effort towards having some time together with him? Because HE - made an effort: to take vacation, to spend quite a lot of time and money, etc. It takes two to valse, you know...

Please, do not tell me that she couldn't arrange for at least some days together without her jobs and her kid around. Why was it so impossible to get the boy to his grandparents for a week or so? With so much at stake for them?

You know that I raised two boys while studying and holding jobs - from 1 to 4 at a time... I didn't have time/opportunity for dating and romance? Heck, NO!!! Is this too much for the poor guy who crossed hald the world to meet her to expect at least a weekend just together? Or at least to warn him beforehand that this wasn't in the cards? Or did she feel that this foretaste of their possible future life together would be very enticing - and that all the bending over backwards should be on his side? Or was all of this an elaborate hint? You tell me ...

I feel very much for Felix and find it very hard not to prophecy foom and gloom

[Doll]

Please, do not tell me that she couldn't arrange for at least some days together without her jobs and her kid around. Why was it so impossible to get the boy to his grandparents for a week or so? With so much at stake for them?

Aparently she could not.

[felix8787]

Hello everyone
Doll: Point 1: I have not made any decisions yet regarding this relationship. So don't assume anything until I personally put it up myself.
Point 2: In my post, I put up thoughts and expressions of the events that have been going on, I never complained about how bad she was for the time not spent, did I not put up the dailys of what is going on to cleary show how things were going on here?
Point 3: Somehow you in your mind make it seem, like this is a bad idea and your trying to rally people with that thought...Why?

I got plenty of more points to put up, but don't have time now, making mash potates and watching her son on my last day here before I leave back home.

Yesterday, I had my personal time with her and it is like night and day, needless to say, her friend didn't watch her, her brother took her son out so that we could have our time alone, which was very much needed. I gave him 1000 rubles which isn't much (operation depleted funds) but enough for movies and food.
We talked made each other laugh and like most happy couple got very close (By the way, apologized for not devoting time with me which made me feel alot better), then we talked about her son, though we didn't talk much as I would have liked b/c brother and son will be home soon, but she did tell me more insight about her son. I would have liked to put in my thoughts about disipline but time was something we did not have, she did tell me her thoughts and as she put it "I do not offend" I excepted her thoughts and listened to them. This is after all a learning experience on a culture that I have never dealt with. And as far as excepting the child the way he is BULL! There is always room for disipline and change. If I can bend over backwards so can she and her child, it is a 2 way street in a relationship.

But gotta go I will reply to all the post when I get back home.

felix8787

[Faux Pas]

So No.  WOVO...no good.  I don't like it from both sides of the line.

Guys, for your sake and hers, just go there, use the services of a reputable agency with local presence and meet as many as it takes to find a good fit for both of you.

This WOVO business is like a cold sore that won't go away....kept active only by the rare magical exception.

Ronnie,

You seem to be throwing the baby out with the bath water (an expression we use in these parts). There are many successes with the WOVO. So this method doesn't work for you and didn't for the Northwest fellow you cite. That doesn't mean it does not work for others. WOVO success stories are not as rare as you believe and hardly magical. I haven't seen any evidence that WOVO is any less or more unsuccessful than the other methods. There are as many horror stories for the VMVO's and the WMVM

Incidentally, I noticed early on when communicating with a particular lady that all her photos were closed mouth. I asked her for some smiling and she provided them. Her teeth were fine but not perfect and she was sub conscious about her smile. It would appear your Northwest fellow didn't learn enough about the lady prior traveling to meet her. My point here is: even with the limited ability to learn of the lady before traveling, there is still much that CAN be learned. If one does not learn as much as possible beforehand then they are deceiving themselves and the WOVO will most likely fail.  There are similar nuances that cause the WMVM and other methods to fail too.

So it isn't your cup of tea. That doesn't mean it isn't the next man's.

[Ooooops]

Incidentally, I noticed early on when communicating with a particular lady that all her photos were closed mouth. I asked her for some smiling and she provided them. Her teeth were fine but not perfect and she was sub conscious about her smile.

It really makes me wonder in what words did you ask this lady to provide the photos with her teeth showing...    

[Faux Pas]

It really makes me wonder in what words did you ask this lady to provide the photos with her teeth showing...    

I am not exactly sure what it is you are referring to here. If you mean did I ask her for teeth pictures as if I were buying cattle, the answer is no I didn't. I was interested in seeing her smile and told her so, none of her pictures I had seen at that time showed a smile. They were rather stoic. I used some respectful tact. A person's smile often reflects their personality and I certainly wish to see a lady's smile if I am going to travel 6000 miles to meet her.

[Ooooops]

A person's smile often reflects their personality and I certainly wish to see a lady's smile if I am going to travel 6000 miles to meet her.

So what's the remark about her less than perfect teeth for?   Does sound to me like you were "buying cattle"   :evil:

[Faux Pas]

So what's the remark about her less than perfect teeth for?   Does sound to me like you were "buying cattle"   :evil:

Ooooops,

 I mentioned that as a point of reference from the quote to help in illustrating my point. The Northwest man in Ronnie's post was appalled at the woman's teeth and thus for him was a deal breaker. My point was that if he had such a problem with her teeth, he could have/should have examined this prior to meeting her as these are rather simple traits to find out before traveling. In essence if one is going the WOVO route, they should find out these tangibles that are certain deal breakers to them before going because the intangibles are difficult enough.

As for the lady I visited, she had a complex about her teeth and thus did not like an open mouth smile in photos. She didn't like her photos where she did smile. I liked her smiling photos and yes her teeth were less than perfect. Few people Ooooops have perfect teeth. FWIW, her smile in person I found quite beautiful and her teeth were in no way an issue. But I knew this before the visit.

[Ooooops]

FWIW, her smile in person I found quite beautiful and her teeth were in no way an issue.

Well, that's much better.     And in any case - those beautiful white dentures that go into a glass at night are available to anybody in need...   

[SANDRO43]

And in any case - those beautiful white dentures that go into a glass at night are available to anybody in need...   

After MOB (Mail Order Brides), now we have to worry about MOT (Mail Order Teeth) as well .

[Ooooops]

After MOB (Mail Order Brides), now we have to worry about MOT (Mail Order Teeth) as well .

But think about it - no more root canals or cavities or Loretta Bobbins...   

[Ronnie]

It would be an interesting exercise for a potential WOVO doer to go to globaladies.com and check out the differences between the still shots and the videos.  I'm not endorsing the site at all but it's a good source for noting the differences between stills and real life.

[Doll]

It would be an interesting exercise for a potential WOVO doer to go to globaladies.com and check out the differences between the still shots and the videos.  I'm not endorsing the site at all but it's a good source for noting the differences between stills and real life.

Guys do you have your videos in your profile?
Would be informative too.
(American fat against Russian teeth  )

[felix8787]

Hello everyone
I will writing about my trip in the trip report section here. Just not right this minute, I will shortly either tonight or tomorrow.

felix8787

[felix8787]

Hello everyone
I just wanted to take the time here and reply back to the post the have been put up now that I have the time.

Are you half Vietnamese like I am? I suspect you're in your mid 30's or early 40's. You've got money to stay in the FSU for 4 months

Yes a 1/3 viet, I am 33 will be 34 in june, only staying for 27 including the flights there and back.

You need to seek for a woman with no kids, you can't bare any of them but for your daughter.Good luck

Why would I want to seek woman with no kids, this was a unique situation with this woman. I personally would not exclude a woman just b/c of her children or b/c of this situation.

Jet , the whole report is a complaining of no time together, not enough quality, this is not right, that is not right.
Felix put himself ( as well as the lady) to a situation where nobody could win. Two jobs, small place to live, a small kid (he is who he is by this moment), hospital etc.

Looks like you didn't completely read everything that I posted and only looked for the negative. But hey to each their own.

Either you accept the kid how he is NOW or you go ahead and look for this plenty who will " be happy to accept your kid and a good man"
Jet, there are differences in culture and you need to accept it. Why would you endlessly criticise what you see? You hate it? Just go away. No, you stay there, you sleep with a woman even having made the decision to dump her.
 Just hate it.

A person has the ability to change, even a kid.
Aren't you part of the plenty who will "be happy to accept your kid and a good man?"
I sleep with a woman even having made the decision to dump her?

Where on earth did you get this train of thought from? Who says that I even wanted to dump her from the get go even though you think that we are sleeping (sex) together.

Felix, does your daughter live with you?

Ah, I see- she does not.

What does that matter is she lives with me or not??? I continue to think about her concern, with new people and children coming into her life and that is not just with RW and their children but also with AW and their children, should I decide to date AW.

It seems obvious that if she had to take time off recently because of her own illness, that the timing for this trip was not good, but I can't speculate as to what transpired during the planning stages; whether he forced the issue by saying I can ONLY come at this time, or if she even suggested it was not a good time.

I don't see where Felix is bitching about "this is not right, that is not right" he's simply relaying the items that are making him pause to think. This is much healthier IMHO than to simply ignore personal "red flags" and press on regardless - he has to decide if he can live with these things long term, and he seems to be in the process of doing that.

She got ill after I had already purchased the plane tickets (non-refundable) and just went with it, she was happy that I was coming and so was I. Jet you are on point about what I have posted.

Felix,
Regarding the RW, do you and she make each other laugh, have insightful conversations, express affection, solve dilemmas together, etc.?  I am not reading this unless you have omitted it.  I did read that affection is low.   

Her boy seems alien to you, yet he likes you.  A child wants a father.  It is a very serious undertaking for life.  He has been betrayed by his biological father.  These little tykes can not take many betrayals before their heart becomes cold.  You have a daughter so you know what is involved.

You need to have two interconnected serious discussions with your RW: 1) what’s good and bad about the relationship between the two of you and 2) what you want to see done differently in rearing her son.

Good luck with your deliberations.

Yes we do all of that, she is a wonderful wonderful woman, but givin the constraints of the situation, it was something that we did not do all of the time, but yes she shows affection towards me in her own way.
Yes she and her son were saddened also by my leaving and he asked where I was when he woke up the next morning and he was looking for me on the balcony coming home with his mom from school, I know what is involved b/c I do have a daughter also.

When a RW with a child by another man wants new new husband to be a good father for the child, then she must be willing to defer to him.  By taking on the obligation of fatherhood for someone else's child, he must also be afforded rights. 

You are so on point about that.

A woman cannot expect her new husband to be merely a provider of material sustenance and a baby-sitter/chauffeur without giving up some of her own sovereignty over the child.  If she cannot do that, then she should stop looking for a husband.

I very much agree with this thought and that should not only apply with RW but also with any parents with children who are looking.

Doll misreads Felix's dispatches.  He is not complaining, he's relating his thoughts and impressions.  Further Doll's comment that she hates that he is sleeping with her though he's decided not to marry her.  Felix has not made a decision against the realtionship. 

Doll makes it sound like the woman is paying him with her body for some expected return that he has no intention of delivering.  That's a assessment I find distasteful yet typical.

Doll read way to much into my post and assumed to much. She mistook thoughts and expressions as complaining instead of reading what I further put on my other post. Missing everything else and just sticking to what she only took as complaining.
Another thing, we have yet to sleep in the same bed alone since I have been there (been sleeping on the sofa bed).
It's obvious that Doll makes sex in issue here, she assumes that my lady is paying me with sex for me being there and that it is the only conclusion that there will be. If she would of read my post more clearly, she would have read (assuming that she would of came to this conclusion) that we haven't had sex because we haven't had time alone for it. But she didn't and assumed that my lady is some sort of......... Now she is insulting her.

And therefore he is taking payment (sex) fraudulently?  Is that your argument?  Interesting viewpoint. ???

Wait a minute, wait a minute....I have been having sex all of this time???? Interesting. I didn't know I was having sex too.

My point is that the kid is how he is and if he likes the lady he can show his  parent's skills.
I agree but this is not the case- we have just a man who came to see the woman. It is just a date - poorly planned.
 Men marry women not kids and then the couple makes corrections if needed.
 Come on guys! It was just a bad plan.
 
  Not really- they both have no choice but play till this game is over.
He didn't like the whole thing from the very beginning, go back and read his posts.

Ok....so she expects a man to just come in and immediately start disicplining (show parenting skills)her child when the child acts up, not knowing what that man will do, but do it only because I like the woman, is that what I am reading here? But hey, it is just a 27 day 24 hour a day date right? Sorry doll, this is more then just a date. A date is where I either meet or pick her up and go out for a few hours or more then go home. This is beyond a date, it is more of getting to know each other on a 24hr basis. We both are attracted to each physically and emotionally, we both have our good points and our low points, but this is not a make it or break it situation, there is still more room for growing and learning about each other....which you totally miss......my whole intention is not to go there and if things don't work out, sleep with her until I leave, that would be wrong and stupid of me....did you not read in one of my post that "I am opimistic like that", probably not since that is what you posted.

He didn't like not having time to spend to get to know her.  I'm not seeing where he's at fault here.  He obviously though she'd arrange to spend more time with him. 

Thanks for seeing my post so clearly.

Agree on all counts - there's as much chance on finding she is just right for you than vice versa (even more of the first since you've corresponded and talked over the phone)
 

A pity I've not seen this earlier. As a devoted Mom, who spends hours every week talking to my kids over there, I've found long ago to talk using phone-cards. Though some of the ones widely popular in the Russian community here will give you rates like 1-3c for Moscow and StP and 10-27c for the rest of Russian and FSU (and WEstern Europe too, which Lithuania had become - my older son lives in Vilnius), for the last year I mostly use Western Union Golden Card (you could find the application online and at every currency exchange, etc. where they have WU agent).

Their minutes are more expensive - but you don't have to hunt for a good card (you just load more money on the card - either on the internet or directly with a WU agent), they do not cheat you (all of the Russian or Polish cards I formerly used either have hidden costs or frankly steal time). For $20 I have - from Chicago - 8 hrs talk to home phone in StP, 5 hrs to their cell-phones and almost 4 hrs to a cell in Vilnius. With a 1-888... connection you can use it moreover wherever you need (I've called Russia and USA from Europe), and the connection is much better than with small ethnic local providers.

Thanks for seeing my viewpoint and thank you for the info on the phone card.

I did not notice much complaining - mostly commendable effort at understanding and some sad disappointment too. Frankly I was somewhat stunned. I understand all her difficulties and commitments, as well as her situation, but, sorry, the guy didn't descend on her out of the blue sky, she didn't meet him yesterday in a singles bar, and she must have had some meause of expectations as to the future with him, otherwise why bother?

Again thank you for seeing my viewpoint Wienerin. Exactly, why bother with this whole situation if she didn't some sort of expectation with me and coming over to be with her.

With all her porblems - couldn't she make an effort towards having some time together with him? Because HE - made an effort: to take vacation, to spend quite a lot of time and money, etc. It takes two to valse, you know...

She did try, but seeing how it is very difficult to find someone to watch her son and with no money out of her pocket for the service and her parents living so far away, it made it real hard. But we finally got our time alone this past sunday.

Please, do not tell me that she couldn't arrange for at least some days together without her jobs and her kid around. Why was it so impossible to get the boy to his grandparents for a week or so? With so much at stake for them?

I put the reason as to why in one of my post while I was there in Russia. Yes there is alot at stake, there could be a possible future together.

You know that I raised two boys while studying and holding jobs - from 1 to 4 at a time... I didn't have time/opportunity for dating and romance? Heck, NO!!! Is this too much for the poor guy who crossed hald the world to meet her to expect at least a weekend just together? Or at least to warn him beforehand that this wasn't in the cards? Or did she feel that this foretaste of their possible future life together would be very enticing - and that all the bending over backwards should be on his side? Or was all of this an elaborate hint? You tell me ...

I feel very much for Felix and find it very hard not to prophecy foom and gloom

I can't say for sure if she expected that all of this happened like this, she thought also that we would have time together too. Thanks for the feelings Wienerin, it is part of life's little unexpected turn of events.

[Ronnie]

Hi Felix,

Thanks for the effort to give everyone the "reality" of a WOVO. 

I have just one question though.  You said you're 1/3 Vietnamese.  How does one get to be 1/3 of anything?  Is this one of those brain teasers that my widdle brain just isn't up to?

[felix8787]

Hey Ronnie

My great great grandfather is from Italy and migrated to Puerto Rico, where he had my grandfather, then he had my father then there is myself, whom my father met my mother in Vietnam in the war. Weird combo, I know. You could say that I am half Spanish and half Viet but since my great great grandfather is a full blooded Italian I consider that also to be my heritage.
No problem about the realities of a WOVO Ronnie.

felix8787

[UTRO]

Wow Felix! I have to give you credit. You put your whole situation out in the open to be analyzed and analized by the Peanut Gallery. Either you're a sadomasochist, or you truly do want feedback. No doubt there have been some members here who have been particularly hard on you. That being said, you kept coming back with a thick(er) skin and more enlightened. I think the issue with the boy liking you, so much that he informed his classmates he's going to live in America, is very Sweet. He's not much more than a toddler and he has great fondness for you! In that you're a good person, why would he not feel so for you? He's a child and he isn't to be judged about the living in America statement. It isn't a Red Flag, he is a child who dreams and or hears things and he seeks a male figure. You are, were, it.
Careful on the discipline front. Women don't want to be told that their children may have issues.
You've got a lot to consider now. You've been very patient and I don't know how you coped
You're a better man than I am 

[Ronnie]

Hey Ronnie

My great great grandfather is from Italy and migrated to Puerto Rico, where he had my grandfather, then he had my father then there is myself, whom my father met my mother in Vietnam in the war. Weird combo, I know. You could say that I am half Spanish and half Viet but since my great great grandfather is a full blooded Italian I consider that also to be my heritage.

felix8787

Felix, I can't blame you for wanting to claim your Italian heritage - they've contributed more to civilized society than any other nationality IMHO (Colombus, Verrazzano, Vespucci, DaVinci, Verdi, Buonarotti (Michelangelo), Botticelli, Stradavari (Stradavarius)Marconi, Giotti (not Gotti), Galileo, Nuvolari, Ferrari, Brugnatelli, Fibonacci, Fermi, Matteucci, Aligheri (Dante), Machiavelli, Tintoretto, Bocelli, Pavarotti, Caruso, Pacini, Puccini, Vivaldi, Benvenuti, Chinaglia - and my favorite - Sofia Loren!).  That doesn't even touch on those born of Italian parents who migrated to other countries.
Oh, wait, I forgot the greatest of them all, our esteemed collegue, Sandro. 

If I could find one drop of Italian blood in my ancestry, I'd be very proud indeed!  However, Felix, if you're mother is full blooded Viet, how can you be less than 50% yourself?

[SANDRO43]

If I could find one drop of Italian blood in my ancestry, I'd be very proud indeed! 

Oh, wait, I forgot the greatest of them all, our esteemed collegue, Sandro.

Thank you for including me in such exalted company (even though some, like StradIvari, GiottO, AlighIeri, MacChiavelli were misspelt , and is your Brugnatelli the chemist ?), but I don't aspire to those dizzying heights being only 3/4 Italian (the remaining 1/4, Russian) .

BTW, Felix would be 1/8 Italian, if arithmetic still serves me right .

If I could find one drop of Italian blood in my ancestry, I'd be very proud indeed!

Some adventurous, long-forgotten Italian might yet have visited a remote branch of the family tree, who knows .

[Ronnie]

Thank you for including me in such exalted company (even though some, like StradIvari, GiottO, AlighIeri, MacChiavelli were misspelt , and is your Brugnatelli the chemist ?), but I don't aspire to those dizzying heights being only 3/4 Italian (the remaining 1/4, Russian) .

BTW, Felix would be 1/8 Italian, if arithmetic still serves me right .
Some adventurous, long-forgotten Italian might yet have visited a remote branch of the family tree, who knows .

Estimato Sandro...
My spelling of Italian names leaves a lot to be desired...it's true. 

I think Brugnatelli is the guy who invented chrome plating, so I guess he would be a chemist.  For me as a child of the 50's and 60's American car scene, chrome plating deserves a special honor!

I'm still looking for that drop of sangue Italiano. It must be there, I hope anyway, but no luck so far.


A proposito, come ho scritto Niccolo' "Machiavelli" non e' sbagliato - una "c" sola, davvero?

[SANDRO43]

I think Brugnatelli is the guy who invented chrome plating, so I guess he would be a chemist.

The very same.

A proposito, come ho scritto Niccolo' "Machiavelli" non e' sbagliato - una "c" sola, davvero?

You're quite right, my mistake, can't think what prompted me to pick that one up .

[felix8787]

Wow Felix! I have to give you credit. You put your whole situation out in the open to be analyzed and analyzed by the Peanut Gallery. Either you're a sadomasochist, or you truly do want feedback. No doubt there have been some members here who have been particularly hard on you. That being said, you kept coming back with a thick(er) skin and more enlightened. I think the issue with the boy liking you, so much that he informed his classmates he's going to live in America, is very Sweet. He's not much more than a toddler and he has great fondness for you! In that you're a good person, why would he not feel so for you? He's a child and he isn't to be judged about the living in America statement. It isn't a Red Flag, he is a child who dreams and or hears things and he seeks a male figure. You are, were, it.
Careful on the discipline front. Women don't want to be told that their children may have issues.
You've got a lot to consider now. You've been very patient and I don't know how you coped
You're a better man than I am 

Hey Utrobina,
Yeah I put it all out there for it to be read and get some input back, the only member that gave me any flack was Doll and that was short lived, but having that experience on my belt give me a whole perspective on alot of things with RW and the way things are here. Getting the flack didn't bother me, I didn't even really take it personal, I put my thoughts on the situation out for people to read and then responded to their post properly. Yeah he did take a liking to me, always wanting me to play with him on the computer or whatever else, I guess you could say that I am the father figure that he never had. Yeah, I didn't and won't judge him for thinking that, but it did threw me in a loop when she told me that. As far as the discipline front, that is something that we need to talk about if things going further. I do alot to consider with her, I definitely wouldn't mind going back to spending more time with her and her son, even though I think she needs to be more firm with him, we still need to have more time together before we move forward on this.
I spoke with my lady briefly today, she was going to a village with one of her friends and her son and he still asking about me, so I asked her when she would like for me to come back and she informed me anytime after July.
Oh believe me I coped pretty well givin the circumstances, I looked at it like this, the boy even though he has issues is actually a good kid and needs a some sort a male figure in his life, she is a good woman who I could see myself with for life and if that whats needs to be done then so be it, but for now more face to face interaction is needed and this is something that can't just be jumped into.
Thanks for the compliment Utrobina, but I am no different then you or anyone else, I just dealt with the situation as best as I could and only shake my head at situations that were beyond my control. But all that it is worth, with it's up's and down's and the lack of alone time, it was well worth it to get real life experience with a RW and her dailys. And maybe there will be a 2nd trip in the future, who knows, I'm going to work my tail off now to pay my current bills and start saving and see where it goes from here.

Hey Ronnie, when people see my last name they know it is Italian and my mother told me of my great great grandfather, I don't know a lick of Italian but I sure do love their foods that they offer, I love some good pasta!

Hey Sandro43, yeah I think your right Sandro43, didn't do the math on it, but know that I have Italian ancestry in me.

Well right now, I am typing up my trip report on word pad, so once I get that done I will post it up on trip reports sections here, I just got home from work and I'm a little bit tired, so folks please bear with me if it doesn't get put up right away.

felix8787

[Wienerin]

Hi Felix,

Thanks for the effort to give everyone the "reality" of a WOVO. 

I have just one question though.  You said you're 1/3 Vietnamese.  How does one get to be 1/3 of anything?  Is this one of those brain teasers that my widdle brain just isn't up to?

My friend is 1/2 Jewish and 1/2 Russian on the one side, and 3\4 Russian and 1/4 Jewish (one grandparent) on the other side. She consideres herself 1/3 Jewish  Who am I to correct her arithmetics? 

[Wienerin]

Felix, it's a real pleasure to read you - you come out as such a down-to-earth thinking and considerate guy  I'm glad that you and your lady really seemed to click together - and uinder such trying circumstances too. It really bodes well for the future (spit three times ober your your left shoulder and knock on wood  ), I think.

Your desire and ability to sit fown and thrash the problems out are also very admirable and oh! so necessary in relationship. Too many women seem to expect ESP in their men, and too many men find it unnecessary or hard to sit down and talk.

If I seemed somewhat harsh in judging your lady-love - it was only in reply to Doll's assertions (implied and excplicit) that you're for some reason obliged to gulp in silence whatever the new relationship is dishing out, just because a Russian lady favored you with her attention. You may enter her circumstances, and this is right and just, but I think you can't but feel somewhat disappointed that it turned out like this... Best hopes, though, for the future