Risky Business

[steviej]

How about this?   

Ooooops !!!!!!!!!!!! You're a babe !! So under your sharp pencil you've been concealing your feminine charms from us    

[Ooooops]

Ooooops !!!!!!!!!!!! You're a babe !!

I never said I wasn't   

[SANDRO43]

Is the tattoo a tortoise of some sort  ?

[AnastassiaAsh]

looks like it, also looks like a littel sumo guy, you know...hehe...

[Ooooops]

Is the tattoo a tortoise of some sort  ?

Yep, a turtle.  Like to paint those now and then...   

[Ronnie]

I too met FSUW who had been in long-term relationships with married men...some foreign, many domestic.  The truth is, few women can muster the fortitude to walk away when they discover he's married.  It sometimes appears that his being married makes him more desireable and wresting him away from his wife often becomes an irresistible challenge for them.

After few years, when they see the man isn't going to leave his wife, they will give up.  Better they didn't waste their time, but try telling them that.  Am I blaming women for this?  Yes.  Could the men prevent it?  Absolutely. 

Then there's the scenario of the married women who sees having an affair with an also married man as safer. 

[msmoby_ru]

I too met FSUW who had been in long-term relationships with married men...some foreign, many domestic.  The truth is, few women can muster the fortitude to walk away when they discover he's married.  It sometimes appears that his being married makes him more desireable and wresting him away from his wife often becomes an irresistible challenge for them.

After few years, when they see the man isn't going to leave his wife, they will give up.  Better they didn't waste their time, but try telling them that.  Am I blaming women for this?  Yes.  Could the men prevent it?  Absolutely. 

Then there's the scenario of the married women who sees having an affair with an also married man as safer. 

Ronnie.. have you been celebrating the 4th aided by intoxicating liquor ?! whether yea or neigh - happy 4/7 (!)

You and I obviously move in different circles - the FSUW *I* know would certainly kick a WM into touch if they found out he's married - or "use" him mercilessly... Most FSUW are fed up with disloyal man...

[Misha]

The truth is, few women can muster the fortitude to walk away when they discover he's married.  It sometimes appears that his being married makes him more desireable and wresting him away from his wife often becomes an irresistible challenge for them.

After few years, when they see the man isn't going to leave his wife, they will give up. 

Well, I don't think the scenario is that much different in Russia than most other countries.

Woman falls in love with man who is married;
Man tells her that he will leave his wife, but there are always reasons why he can't (kids, real estate, whatever);
Woman deludes herself into believing that yes he will eventually leave him if she is patient enough;
Woman may become pregnant or she becomes more insistent (i.e. threatening to call his wife);
Man "realizes" that he loves his wife and dumps the other woman;
Woman realizes that she was used and that he was never going to leave his wife;
In a few weeks/months married man finds another woman and the cycle starts all over again.

[KenC]

Well, I don't think the scenario is that much different in Russia than most other countries.

Woman falls in love with man who is married;
Man tells her that he will leave his wife, but there are always reasons why he can't (kids, real estate, whatever);
Woman deludes herself into believing that yes he will eventually leave him if she is patient enough;
Woman may become pregnant or she becomes more insistent (i.e. threatening to call his wife);
Man "realizes" that he loves his wife and dumps the other woman;
Woman realizes that she was used and that he was never going to leave his wife;
In a few weeks/months married man finds another woman and the cycle starts all over again.

Misha,
You watch waaaay too much TV.
KenC

[djfourmonie]

 Maybe I'm just foolish but I think many things on that list can be avoided....

 I'm not made of money and don't have tens of thousands to burn on such an adventure. Combined that with anybody that reads trip reports of others and on other web sites can make intelligent decisions and avoid many mistakes that men choosing to go this route seem to fall into.

 I have not paid any money to an agency and don't plan too, at least not one that does business in the United States firstly. I personally think that while the market is saturated, its a "buyers" market (since many men never get to the point of traveling) and there are PLENTY of women available without using the services of an agency. I think the quality of what you'll find on free or low cost web sites to be equal to that of many agencies. You're really only missing out on those that have limited internet access and frankly are you really MISSING that much???? Sure you open yourself to potential scam artist, but I think there's enough info online to avoid many pitfalls.

 When I was in Europe for different reasons, there was an outside chance that I would visit Larisa in Kiev. When other "plans" fell through, I decided I would visit her and not promise anything. We spent a few days together and it was nice. I was able to go around town with out her (she had a baby) a couple of times and was pleasantly surprised I caught the attention of a few ladies. When we both knew there was no future beyond friendship and had some time to myself the day before I was to leave, I tried to find a local agency, thinking I could fumble through a catalog, maybe find somebody that would be interested in talking to me and we could maybe even meet before I left. But the one agency I found online wasn't answering their phone that day and I didn't know where else to turn.

 If I had known what I have known now, I could have stayed in the Ukraine longer.... by changing my ticket.

 I am convinced I can do this, all of it in two or three trips. The last would be her trip here with all her sh*t! - I never feared for my safety, I got connected with a cheap rental flat usually used for those "Afternoon Delights" many RM seem to be found of... In fact and I'm not ashamed to admit it, I got many of my contacts for accommodations, where to go, what to do and even met a fellow American/Californian that was in town at the time I was in town on a computer programing contract from "Sex Tourist" connections! Despite what people here may think about what they do in these countries, they are a source to be used if you like to save money or even where to find the local "hot spots" for single ladies in town. I got all that information for FREE and I didn't need to pay an agency for that and could have gotten translation services for free if needed since many of my friends that do spend time the FSU also speak conversational Russian and even know how to write it!

 As my trainer once told me "Work Smarter, Not Harder"; you can only make something like this as expensive and time consuming as you want it to be...


 

[mark2353]

steviej,
I am sorry it took you this long to realize that Oooops! is a very attractive lady behind those very pointed comments!

[Ronnie]

Maybe I'm just foolish ....

 As my trainer once told me "Work Smarter, Not Harder"; you can only make something like this as expensive and time consuming as you want it to be...

You are making the first statement true and contravening your trainer if you think working with a Sex Tourist agency is preferable to working with a Marriage Agency.  BTW, you do not meet "ladies" at the Kiev 'hotspots."

[steviej]

steviej,
I am sorry it took you this long to realize that Oooops! is a very attractive lady behind those very pointed comments!

She switched her avatar right after I made those comments !! For a short while, we had a frontal on the mysterious Oooops 

[msmoby_ru]

She switched her avatar right after I made those comments !! For a short while, we had a frontal on the mysterious Oooops 

I missed that !! .. What SORT of frontal ? 

Seems that OlgaH has started off a "spring clean" of Avatar updates ...

You looked very pretty when you were a little girl BTW 

[Gator]

Misha,
You watch waaaay too much TV.
KenC

  

The more likely series of events in America:

-  Married man has an affair with younger woman;
-  Younger woman pushes man to leave his wife;
-  Man tells her that he will eventually leave his wife, but there are always reasons why he can't  do it now (kids, money, real estate, whatever);
-  Young woman cuts off the man;
-  Man can't take it and does leave his wife, resulting in a messy divorce;
-  Young woman and man live together for 4 months;
-  Young woman leaves man;
-  Man begs wife and family to take him back;
-  Wife, feeling the beginning of a new life, says No!
-  Man with less than half of his assets and with the liabilities of continuing alimony and support payments feels bitter and awful;
-  Man reads about RW...............

[Misha]

Gator, I stand corrected LOL. Perhaps, Russian men are smarter than AM and WM. They rarely leave their wives simply because they had an affair.

Here is the sequence with the friend of a friend of my wife:

1. Husband goes home and tells his wife that he is having an affair;
2. Wife fears that husband will leave her;
3. Wife tells husband that for the sake of their family she will accept his having affairs, but would prefer that he simply not tell her;
4. Husband agrees to the deal.

Do you really think he will leave his wife 

[KenC]

I think Gator has it about pegged with his version of an AM having an affair with a younger woman and I also believe Misha has it right for Russians.  Why do RW accept affairs?
KenC

[msmoby_ru]

I think Gator has it about pegged with his version of an AM having an affair with a younger woman and I also believe Misha has it right for Russians.  Why do RW accept affairs?
KenC

Well, they are loyal, often mothers ( seeking stability for their kids) and worried about the consequences for the future in what can (still ) be a very male dominant society.

[Blues Fairy]

Why do RW accept affairs?

One thing to consider is the traditionally high number of young couples who have to live with their inlaws, in total absence of privacy.  Under such conditions, the husband wandering off to have an affair is something forseeable or even inevitable.  Hence the philosophical attitude toward this practice.  Sometimes the example of the father or father-in-law contributes to the tradition.

[groovlstk]

There are plenty of married RW who screw around, also. It's tempting to blame this phenomenon on men but there are women who actively embrace this way of life and could care less about the wrecked families they leave behind.

Whenever a discussion about fidelity comes up among our Russian friends, the generally accepted attitude is that it's OK for a man or woman to cheat on their spouse if they are unhappy with the level of romance or sex in their marriage. It's unfortunate but really not that big a deal, as it's understood and accepted as a much, much better alternative than living unhappily.

I have some tales from my own experience as well as stories my wife has told me about friends and colleagues, it's enough to raise the hair on the back of my neck.

[OlgaH]

The Russian Senators have established a new holiday - All-Russian Day of Family, Love and Fidelity, 8th July, in honor of  Saint Peter and Fevronia (their day in the Orthodox Church calendar is also 8th July), whose marriage is an ideal example of a Christian marriage     The symbol of the holiday is a



Icon of Saint Peter and Fevronia 

[msmoby_ru]

There are plenty of married RW who screw around, also. It's tempting to blame this phenomenon on men but there are women who actively embrace this way of life and could care less about the wrecked families they leave behind.

Do you mean in FSU or when they come to the west? I'm not saying all FSUW are "angels" ( anymore than all men are "bastards" ) but this is not a phenonemon I've witnessed in FSU or in Cyprus ... where many FSU couples and mixed marriages are common.

Whenever a discussion about fidelity comes up among our Russian friends, the generally accepted attitude is that it's OK for a man or woman to cheat on their spouse if they are unhappy with the level of romance or sex in their marriage.

That confirms it.. we obviously move in different circles.! .. most of the FSUW I know would (having been married to an errant husband) be VERY careful to choose a man who would be unlikey to stray.. don't you think that poor / no sex in a relationship that is a sympton of marital problems rather than the cause..?!
 

It's unfortunate but really not that big a deal, as it's understood and accepted as a much, much better alternative than living unhappily.

?! don't agree - not my experience.. for  most folk I know, FSU or western - extra marital affairs are a BIG deal..

I have some tales from my own experience as well as stories my wife has told me about friends and colleagues, it's enough to raise the hair on the back of my neck.

Something in the water where she you / live?!

[steviej]

I missed that !! .. What SORT of frontal ? 

Seems that OlgaH has started off a "spring clean" of Avatar updates ...

You looked very pretty when you were a little girl BTW 

Ooops had a face shot

And thank you, wasn't I a cute little girl? Actually that is my wife when she was a little princess, I think 3 yrs old about. I just love that photo. And thank you for noticing! 

And, may I say, your new photo of you and the Mrs. is very attractive! 

[steviej]

That confirms it.. we obviously move in different circles.! ..

I have to agree with Mark here, but my "circles" have been quite limited - mostly my wife's family, relatives, their friends and relatives, etc. Most of what I know is hearsay, but I haven't heard anything that makes an impression that the RWs have affairs like the RMs.

All of Europe in general, except for Britain and Scandanavia have a long history of tolerance, even expectation, of a man (particularly if he's had some success) having a mistress, not even in secret. A lot of it, as I understand, is not even an "affair" if that means great effort spent on secrecy. Even Lenin, Krupskiya (sp?) and Inessa Armand were living together for a while. Even though Western feminists attack all of that as political, there are indeed long standing bio-evolutionary reasons behind such tendencies.

[djfourmonie]

Gator, I stand corrected LOL. Perhaps, Russian men are smarter than AM and WM. They rarely leave their wives simply because they had an affair.

Here is the sequence with the friend of a friend of my wife:

1. Husband goes home and tells his wife that he is having an affair;
2. Wife fears that husband will leave her;
3. Wife tells husband that for the sake of their family she will accept his having affairs, but would prefer that he simply not tell her;
4. Husband agrees to the deal.

Do you really think he will leave his wife 

 That's basic Slavic thinking IF the lady is older than 30 (not saying everybody agrees with it)...  I think the Gen Y and younger women aren't having it and won't tolerate it. The reasoning being: Western women won't accept it, why should we?

 The Ukrainian woman I visited said that she would tolerate "affairs" claiming she understood a man's desires. As long as I didn't embarrass her, she was fine with it. I have to admit you'll never find that coming out of a Western woman's mouth unless she's a Swinger or Porn Star. Its an eye opener for sure, but I think these women with any experience with WM know that we aren't likely to do it on a whim, its because our current relationship is lacking something met with opportunity.

 I'm amazed that that scenario has been repeated by enough WM, I found it very odd when I heard it, but investigating further I find its an opinion shared by many EE women, interesting.


 
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