age differences- more info needed on younger fsu women

[topofthekey]

Hey everyone, I have read a lot of the forums after I found this site recently. Had a question, so I decided I better join. First off, I'm 24 and will be 25 later this year. So that is why I brought up the question of age for you all. A lot of guys are saying 25 or so is the right age (woman). You have some other guys saying early thirties works best for them.

I generally date girls pretty close to my own age here in the USA. Several guys my age have gotten married here but I never have been able to pull the trigger on it myself. Actually I know guys a few years older than myself that are divorced and even older guys divorced. Sometimes the divorce battle carries on for several years and you have the kids right in the middle of all that.

When I go out on a date here- I buy a nice dinner- takes a girl out to a nice movie- or just whatever the activity is (concert, sporting event, whatever) and at the end of the night or anytime during... my date never says thank you. Sometimes you get the I had a good time or lets do this again- but its seems to be about whats good for them. Maybe I'm just doing a lot of hating, but after doing some research I found out a lot of guys are going overseas (all over the world) to meet women.

Now I can't say I want to get married next week, but if someone really nice came along I certainly would like a serious relationship- just pointing out that I'm not just wanting to chase shirts and be a playa. But... I have read the forums and while it is obviously nuts to think you can meet the right girl in a week and propose- you all seem to back that up anyways regardless of what any agency says.

My question is about age- if I went to the FSU I wouldn't be looking for women in their 30s obviously. Like that previous post I'd want someone that was younger but mature. Now I know dating an 18 or 19 year old here in the USA doesn't work out well for me. You usually end up spending your night watching her play with her stupid cell phone gadget and the conversation reminds me of the headaches I got hearing my high school girlfriend talk about all the high school drama. So, maybe I am asking too much to have an intelligent conversation about current events, politics, history, art, music, etc. I generally prefer to date women here that have finished up with college or are in grad school. The undergrads here in the midwest (especially at the state schools) are beyond party girls- more like beer guzzling- shot slamming- puke on your shoes girls.

Well now that I read what I wrote about I'm sure I've done enough hating, but before I decide to get serious about a girl here (regardless if that is in a few months or a few years down the line) I should at least keep reading about FSU and plan trip to see what I'm missing

Finally back to my question. From my reading is seems pretty obvious that I could get dates from the 18 to 25 year old crowd- but I'm wondering how serious the majority of these women are. I would think 18 or 19 would be too young, but I certainly (like the other thread suggests) would prefer a woman at few years younger than me- like 21-23. Should I consider meeting women in this age group- or wait a few years?

[Lily]

topofthekey, there are various grades of maturity among younger girls.

You probably could start looking now, and if you won't get lucky, you at least get some experience at international dating.
Eventually you could read up her level right from her online profile. Suggest contacting students and those who is fluent in English.
Also, many Russian girls graduate from the universities at 21-23.

[Ooooops]

First off, I'm 24 and will be 25 later this year. S

Aren't you a bit young to be thinking about marriage?    Shouldn't you be out there playing and having fun before you get your neck into that burden?   

[topofthekey]

Aren't you a bit young to be thinking about marriage?    Shouldn't you be out there playing and having fun before you get your neck into that burden?   

im sure the right age to get married varies. for some guys they do it at 20 or 22. i know one guy whos over 40. college degree but likes working at a bar and gets pretty good tips. never married and isnt planning to get married.

i guess my only thoughts about your comment is you referred to marriage as a burden. thats exactly why i never got serious and proposed so far- i felt it would be just that. that was kind of my thoughts about the FSU- maybe i'd find someone i really enjoyed spending my time with and meshed well with- so i wouldnt feel doing it would be well... a burden

[steviej]

Most of the FSU ladies will assume, if you have contacted them through reliable marriage agencies and are traveling half way around the world to meet them, that you have a serious interest in matrimony. I don't mean they assume that your matrimonial interests are directed at them specifically (yet), but that is your intention, and your intentions are sincere.

So, if you just want some general experience in international dating, I suggest in your correspondence that you indicate your interest in is just "looking for friends" or in "dating", and do not indicate your interest is "serious LRT" or "marriage'. That is only being fair to the ladies involved. There are already too many men from the West that play with their intentions.

Another alternative is to plan a long vacation for yourself, teach yourself the basics of the local language, and travel around. You will find it easy, as a foreigner, to strike up conversations with local girls and begin conversations. They will likely be interested in you.

If, though, your true interest is just to find "better dates" than you think you have locally, I'm not convinced that the international romance idea is the way to go. Again, that leads me back to the long vacation idea, travel around, and meet some of the local girls casually. And who knows, you might meet some lady that just steals your heart, right?

[topofthekey]

Most of the FSU ladies will assume, if you have contacted them through reliable marriage agencies and are traveling half way around the world to meet them, that you have a serious interest in matrimony. I don't mean they assume that your matrimonial interests are directed at them specifically (yet), but that is your intention, and your intentions are sincere.

So, if you just want some general experience in international dating, I suggest in your correspondence that you indicate your interest in is just "looking for friends" or in "dating", and do not indicate your interest is "serious LRT" or "marriage'. That is only being fair to the ladies involved. There are already too many men from the West that play with their intentions.

Another alternative is to plan a long vacation for yourself, teach yourself the basics of the local language, and travel around. You will find it easy, as a foreigner, to strike up conversations with local girls and begin conversations. They will likely be interested in you.

If, though, your true interest is just to find "better dates" than you think you have locally, I'm not convinced that the international romance idea is the way to go. Again, that leads me back to the long vacation idea, travel around, and meet some of the local girls casually. And who knows, you might meet some lady that just steals your heart, right?

thanks for the vacation advice- and thats why I made sure to say I hadn't started writing letters or anything. if you've been to the midwest- you know there are an awful lot of "big" girls there. I've travled around to LA, even hawaii- and the women here are just flat out bigger. So if im 6ft 190- i'm honestly not real interested in women that are 5'5 220.

here that excludes a lot of women...seriously. having seen pictures of the Ukraine, malls, and seeing a few agency sites- i think it is safe to say that there are a lot of stunning women over there- a lot of you guys would know more about that.

If I visited I wouldn't call myself a casual dater, but maybe the vacation route would be best at first. If I found the right girl I could pull the trigger, but not in a week. I know I'd want to come back.

[steviej]

... So if im 6ft 190- i'm honestly not real interested in women that are 5'5 220.

You've got a good sense of humor, mr. topof. My experience has been that many FSUWs have a real good sense of humor. And for the most part (not completely) Russia and Ukraine are .... get this now ... BBW free zones !!!

I kid you not. I don't know why, but most of these ladies really know how to keep their figures, and they like doing it. You won't find a single BBW in a grungy T-shirt smiling at you in a photo from above her head asking, "Can you rock my boat??" 

But there is a serious side. International dating is an expensive proposition - especially when you realize that you've "met" some one. What about the next trip? When? How long? The extended vacation idea is a real good one for you. Learn the language basics, travel around, make an effort to meet and say hello to girls in typical local situations, and they will talk to you. But if you fall in love, or get that feeling that you NEVER want to see an Illinois BBW again for the rest of your life, if you find you've developed a full blown case of FSUW Fever, well ... then you are in for a big money ride.

Is it worth it? I've been married to my Russian wife for 5 1/2 years, and I'm the happiest S.O.B. husband I know for miles and miles around.

There's a fellow named "KenC" here that posted something recently on risks. Read that if you can find it. Don't get too scared, but a little knowledge doesn't hurt.

I think that vacation thing would be good for you. You need that. Do you have a friend you really  like and trust that would go with you, and is uglier than you, but still attractive?

[topofthekey]

I think that vacation thing would be good for you. You need that. Do you have a friend you really  like and trust that would go with you, and is uglier than you, but still attractive?

I have buddies to travel with in general sure, but I'm not sure about getting the time off needed for an extended stay. Thats the hard part- you might have a great job, but can you get the time off? I'll have an MBA soon and I've got a line on a really sweet job where I will be able to do some extended traveling in my time off. But if that job doesnt work out I'm looking at a few others as a backup that will allow me to do some traveling.

truthfully I might have trouble finding a buddy that is able to get the time off and is also willing to spend it all in the FSU.

right now i'm researching Sofia and the Tallinn/ St. Petersburg areas. Plus of course several cities in the Ukraine.

[possum]

My question is about age- if I went to the FSU I wouldn't be looking for women in their 30s obviously. Like that previous post I'd want someone that was younger but mature. Now I know dating an 18 or 19 year old here in the USA doesn't work out well for me. You usually end up spending your night watching her play with her stupid cell phone gadget and the conversation reminds me of the headaches I got hearing my high school girlfriend talk about all the high school drama. So, maybe I am asking too much to have an intelligent conversation about current events, politics, history, art, music, etc. I generally prefer to date women here that have finished up with college or are in grad school. The undergrads here in the midwest (especially at the state schools) are beyond party girls- more like beer guzzling- shot slamming- puke on your shoes girls.

If you think 19 year old FSUG are any different you are in for a big surprise.. In my observation, their favorite pastime is text messaging back and forth with their girlfriends about stuff like guys and beer.. and going out with guys to drink beer..lol Seriously though, teenage girls here are every bit as immature as teenage girls elsewhere.. Perhaps a little less sexually uninhibited than their sisters in the US but still far from the epitome of maturity..

With regard to your point about undergrad chicks in the Midwest, I would argue that about 1/3 of the student chicks I have interacted with here are the same way, minus maybe the puking part.. THere just kind of along for the ride while the other 2/3 study their asses off to get that University Diploma in Automatics that will enable them to get jobs in the fanciest boutiques in town..

[Kuna]

Top,

Firstly welcome to RWD.

Next,  don't let anything anyone says to you discourage you.  Your age and current situation may not be ideal for FSU dating, but dude, you're young so you have HEAPS of time.

Next, why travel with a mate?  What's he going to do while you're dating?  Go along or sit at home?  Who's making allowances for who and what happens when you want to do different things.  This journey is best done in pairs, one male, one female.

As for "not ready to marry".  Well, there's NOTHING stopping you having a holiday and not pursuing women for the purpose of marriage.  If you went to Kiev for instance there is plenty of opportunty to meet women randomly.  If you're not ready for marriage you're best staying away from agencies anyway.

Why not look to facebook, MySpace, ICQ, etc too?  There are members here who have met their partners outside of the agencies.

Available time.  Beware, maintaining a long term relationship with a FSU woman when you don't hav much holiday time is very very difficult, if not impossible.  You just need to consider that when you're weighing up the risks.

Another thing to consider is age ranges.  Yes, some FSUW will seem more mature but mate, to be honest, a 21 yr old girl is a 21 yr old girl.  There's rarely anything serious going on.

Russia (Moscow and St P more so), and to a lesser extent Ukraine have improving economies.  Current inflation is making things difficult again but be assured the girls you'll meet won't be desperate.  Yes, you'll bump into dishonest ones but I don't think there's the same desperation to escape that might have been around in the 90's.

Most importantly, I believe you've found the best place to seek advice and develop enough understanding to decide what's best for you.

The communicaiton in here can get a bit harsh at times but you'll find more people willing to help than anywhere else.

ASk questions when they come up... read as much as you can...  and enjoy a little glimpse of something that may become a part of your life some time in future.

Kuna



Oh, one more thought...  Don't be surprised if you DO decide to seek something more permanent that some girls (maybe many) won't take you seriously.  They'll simply think a 25 yr old man wouldn't not want to marry and couldn't afford it even if he did want to marry.

[topofthekey]

well i read previous threads and i know it can be quite expensive. i've priced flights, hotels you name it- just to understand the costs. I've even read some threads where one guy was spending something like a few grand a month on agencies.

I think that is nuts personally. One place I am looking at is Sofia. I saw a website sesile.com that looks great. Sofia would be a long drive to the black sea, but that looks really interesting too. Bulgaria has road signs in english as well as the native language (from what i've read) and many of the younger generation is learning english (and they are a member of the EU). So I see a lot of positives about Bulgaria.

To my knowledge I should be able to afford the trips and it looks like I'll be able to work out job arrangements around them.

[Ooooops]

You are young, single, almost MBA graduate and supposedly good looking (I assumed it from you looking down at big Midwestern girls) - why don't you get a good paying job somewhere in Eastern Europe and explore the possibilities instead of dating over the Internet? 

[topofthekey]

You are young, single, almost MBA graduate and supposedly good looking (I assumed it from you looking down at big Midwestern girls) - why don't you get a good paying job somewhere in Eastern Europe and explore the possibilities instead of dating over the Internet? 

i wasn't aware there were good paying jobs in eastern europe for MBAs from the USA. i heard teaching english pretty much pays dirt.

[Ooooops]

i wasn't aware there were good paying jobs in eastern europe for MBAs from the USA. i heard teaching english pretty much pays dirt.

There is a big demand for good specialists with Western MBAs in Moscow.    Teaching English is an option but you definitely won't get rich doing it.   

[topofthekey]

There is a big demand for good specialists with Western MBAs in Moscow.    Teaching English is an option but you definitely won't get rich doing it.   

had no idea. Right now I'm in discussions with a pretty small company that is interested in me here. They know I'm finishing up my classes so we likely will continue talking and I'll probably meet with them a few times for informal interviews or whatever.

but you bring up something i had no idea about. i'll try and research that. any links or advice to get me started?

[Ooooops]

but you bring up something i had no idea about. i'll try and research that. any links or advice to get me started?

Well, I haven't looked into it myself, but if your Google something like Jobs in Russia it might point you in the right direction.   Or Manager Abroad programs.   Or something along the lines.   Try to look at Big 5 companies that have offices there and their vacancies.   It's an emerging market, so I'm sure you won't have problem finding something with the right set of skills.   Good luck!   

[msmoby_ru]

Why not look to facebook, MySpace, ICQ, etc too?  There are members here who have met their partners outside of the agencies.

Or better, still

http://www.vkontakte.ru - the Russian equivalent to some of these sites ( 13 million plus members - so that must give him a target of 6.5 million

If looking at that site leaves you cold... think of what it will be if you get lost for real in the FSU...

Learn the Russian Cyrillic alphabet and the phonetic sounds and you'll be amazed how many words now make sense !!

[topofthekey]

Or better, still

http://www.vkontakte.ru - the Russian equivalent to some of these sites ( 13 million plus members - so that must give him a target of 6.5 million

If looking at that site leaves you cold... think of what it will be if you get lost for real in the FSU...

Learn the Russian Cyrillic alphabet and the phonetic sounds and you'll be amazed how many words now make sense !!

I'll have to hit the book store for some help with this. One reason Bulgaria looks so interesting is that (from what I've read) signage is in both their language and english. I also found one site that seemed to have a lot of girls from 20-23 on the site. I think a lot of them speak some level of english, but I believe the site does have translators.

any of you experts have an opinion on sesile.com?

[dispozo]

I tend to agree with possum....

I visited two young RW both were 20 at the time....

One was motivated, knew what she wanted and mature for her age. The other was not motivated, didn't know what she wanted and I would say spoiled.

I feel there is a strong Western influence on young FSW, especially in bigger cities.

You will find some of the same ladies in FSW, that you will find in America.

Just my opinion.

[msmoby_ru]

I'll have to hit the book store for some help with this. One reason Bulgaria looks so interesting is that (from what I've read) signage is in both their language and english. I also found one site that seemed to have a lot of girls from 20-23 on the site. I think a lot of them speak some level of english, but I believe the site does have translators.

any of you experts have an opinion on sesile.com?

As you may know Bulgaria uses the Cyrillic alphabet, too. If you are in touristy areas, what you say is true...

Sorry, I can't help re this site.

Good luck

[GreginGa]

Bulgaria would be a choice for me if I were single. The dark hair,the dark eyes and you could probably breed some wrestling skills into the family with their tradition of the sport.

[WmGO]

Learn the Russian Cyrillic alphabet and the phonetic sounds and you'll be amazed how many words now make sense !!

Agree with that big time, and it is very easy.

I had a Russian Red Army Colonel (a Phd) teach me the cyrillic alphabet in 30
minutes (his Phd was in learning science and he was an expert
at fast learning).

[WmGO]

Finally back to my question. From my reading is seems pretty obvious that I could get dates from the 18 to 25 year old crowd- but I'm wondering how serious the majority of these women are. I would think 18 or 19 would be too young, but I certainly (like the other thread suggests) would prefer a woman at few years younger than me- like 21-23. Should I consider meeting women in this age group- or wait a few years?

Best advice: your too young to consider FSUW. There should be no reason
for such a consideration at your age (25). Wait a few years and gain dating
experience and knowledge and understanding of women from your own country.
This will help you if you later decide to consider FSUW in the event you still don't
find what you are looking for domestically.

2nd advice: avoid FSUW under 23/24.

Good luck.

[Shadow]

Actually I disagree that you are too young. It is your own mindset and nobody can judge if you are ready or not.
Perhaps some of the old guys would advise against young WM going over to keep their competition away. 
If you are serious about finding friends and maybe a life partner, why not take it as an adventure.
After that you will know how the people in the FSU look towards you. You might find yourself as being not yet stable enough, being less mature as the women or the total opposite. In any way it will give you a great opportunity to see how another part of the world looks like, and thinks. 

[topofthekey]

Bulgaria would be a choice for me if I were single. The dark hair,the dark eyes and you could probably breed some wrestling skills into the family with their tradition of the sport.

i noticed the dark hair- dark eyes thing. didn't know about the wrestling- thought they were into football, basketball, and cycling. good to know.

with the byzantine, russian, and all the other influences in the country it sure looks like it has some interesting women.