Funny things your RW/UW says:

[ScottinCrimea]

Don't know if I mentioned it before, but my all time. absolute favorite:

"I'm so boring.."

I'm sorry, but my all time favorite is "I'm so exciting" when she means "I'm so excited"

Of course, anytime she says this, she is correct. 

[apple47]

       There have been a good number of words my wife has gotten wrong,but,I know what she means and usually it was just so dam cute to hear it that I didn't want to ever correct it.    I would correct some very glaring mispronunciations,but some I just let  go. They are part of her charm.    But,no more.   The girls are running circles around my wife in their English abilities.     The older girl doesn't have much of an accent and the younger girl ,a math wizard,carries her math precision to her language,though she has a stronger accent she is quite precise in her usage.    So,one day at breakfast my wife said one of her cute things and the older girl says  "momma that sounds so stupid,will you ever learn this English ?"      I immediately received a scolding for not helping her more to learn proper English.      As much as I don't want to lose those cute moments,I now must make the corrections as they appear.      Guess that's what would be called progress.


                                                               ...Larry

[Gator]

New one today.

She wanted to go to the dry cleaners to "sue" her trousers.  I am thinking that the cleaners ruined a pair of her trousers and she wanted them to pay.  Nope, the cleaners has a tailor and she wanted the tailor to "sew" her trousers.

It became apparent when she said she is a "bad sewer."

[Gator]

I immediately received a scolding for not helping her more to learn proper English.      As much as I don't want to lose those cute moments,I now must make the corrections as they appear.      Guess that's what would be called progress.

Same here.  It is the man's fault, of course. 

Two points:

1.  I do not want to correct every mistake she makes; it would interfere with the flow of a conversation. 

2.  I hear garbled words  and sentences in Russian form with English words substituted  so frequently that I am becoming immune to them.

However, I suppose it is our job.

[groovlstk]

Sometimes if I bring work home and my wife doesn't like the lack of attention, she'll fall backwards on our bed with her arms outspread and announce to me, "I am died!"

One thing: when she first arrived, if I chuckled at something she said it was always a tricky balance making sure she didn't feel as if I were making fun of her. In time she came to understand that it's nothing about intelligence and everything about endearment. The best parallel I can think of is the pet words your gf/wife uses to address you in private.

[Chicagoguy]

My friend was working as a Resident at a local University hospital when she asked one of the LPNs to please change the "shits". Of course she meant sheets. A Professor was nearby and quickly corrected her. She was very embarrassed!

[ConnerVT]

2.  I hear garbled words  and sentences in Russian form with English words substituted  so frequently that I am becoming immune to them.

And soon you will forget how to speak English, and you'll begin to structure sentences in the same manner.   

[catzenmouse]

And soon you will forget how to speak English, and you'll begin to structure sentences in the same manner.   

I'm guilty of that one. I did it at work recently and got some very strange looks with my backwards grammar.

Sometimes if I bring work home and my wife doesn't like the lack of attention, she'll fall backwards on our bed with her arms outspread and announce to me, "I am died!"

LOL! That was a good one Groov! I love it when I hear this kind of thing.

[steviej]

I heard a little scream come from the kitchen this afternoon. I ran in.

"Honey, what's the matter ?? "

"Look" - holding her hand out to me

I'm looking very carefully at the hand. I don't see anything.

"Look at my finger "

I'm looking hard at the finger. I don't see anything.

"My nail. My fingernail polish is stained!"

.. LOL ...   

"Honey, what do you mean its stained? What happened? ?" (me very concerned)

"I was using the marking pen and some of the ink leaked onto my fingernail. It stains the fingernail polish and now I'll have to remove it and reapply it"   

"Wow, that's too bad honey ..."

... LOL... they are just so cute sometimes ..       

[viking]

 One woman ruined her nail polish on the train to work, got very upset and had to get off at the next stop to go home for repair. She was a JAP (Jewish American Princess) not an RW. Maybe this type of problem goes across cultures.

[2tallbill]

I got two she says

"I slept like a fireman" which is similar to our sleeping like a baby but I have no idea how it came about.
Do firemen sleep more soundly?

"I am as white as a mushroom" is the other one but again I have no idea what it's
in reference to. It's meaning is that she has no tan at all.

[steviej]

One woman ruined her nail polish on the train to work, got very upset and had to get off at the next stop to go home for repair. She was a JAP (Jewish American Princess) not an RW. Maybe this type of problem goes across cultures.

Actually, there's very little, probably nothing, in common between a Russian girl and a JAP (I've known several in my life). It's hard to capture the "aroma" of the moment with just words, which I must not have done very well, but that whole little scene in the kitchen was, in a word, very Russian !! 

[Zmejka]

"I slept like a fireman" which is similar to our sleeping like a baby but I have no idea how it came about.
Do firemen sleep more soundly?

I guess so, it was like a joke that the firemen arrive to the fire the latest because they sleep much

"I am as white as a mushroom" is the other one but again I have no idea what it's
in reference to. It's meaning is that she has no tan at all.

Should be in reference to cep (edible boletus) that in Russian is "white mashroom" - белый гриб
http://www.nifg.org.uk/cep.jpg

[steviej]

I love listening to my wife talk to her relatives on the telephone. I don't speak any Russian (I know, I'm lazy! ), but I love the way it sounds. And I love how the tone of her voice changes depending on who she's talking to. If she's talking to her mother, she talks a bit faster in an almost business like manner, very serious. Knowing these two as well as I do now, I'm sure they are talking about whether a sofa is better on the North wall or South wall and why, whether a clothes dryer leaves a funny smell compared to hangning them outside, etc. ... LOL . When she's talking to her younger sister, she definitely sounds bossy. I'm sure that no matter what her sister says or what problems she has, my wife is telling her she should find a good man and get married. ... LOL  . My wife is distressed and worried that her sister is not married yet and can never understand why her sister isn't even "seriously" looking ... generation gap .. LOL. She's the most animated when she talks to her father, and they laugh too, which is very charming. There's the most warmth in her voice when she talks to her father. He always says to me, "Hello my big Americanski. Everything's OK !!" And I always say, "Bolshoi Privet, Nikolay!" and we laugh.

[2tallbill]

I guess so, it was like a joke that the firemen arrive to the fire the latest because they sleep much
Should be in reference to cep (edible boletus) that in Russian is "white mashroom" - белый гриб
http://www.nifg.org.uk/cep.jpg

Spasibo,

Bill

[BillR]

My wife gets confused sometimes and says, "I am exciting" instead of "I am excited".  Since she is correct in either case, I choose not to correct her.

Great post!

[MaxxumUSA]

My wife says many things that could be considered funny but they are just honest mistakes in English.  And...  like Scott I chose not to correct her.  She tells me sometimes that I should however I am simply uncomfortable becoming her english teacher/husband.

In any case...  here are a few things that tickle me funny bone:

Recently she told me she noticed a friend of mine riding his harley with a SKILLET on the back of his bike.  I told her he must have been camping.  She said NO - a skillet - not a pan.  She was trying to say skeleton.  Hehe.

If something smells funny or bad she will ask me:  "Do you feel that?  I feel smell."  After 1 1/2 years together I still do not correct her.  I think it's endearing a bit as with many other common little errors she makes.

Hmm...  trying to remember more...  Oh - yes like Scott she will say things that should end in -ed with -ing and the other way around.

I must honestly say that I am TOTALLY impressed with my wife's english skills.  She spoke next to none when we first started communicating only a 1 1/2 years ago.  Today she can easily hold up a conversation in any environment with the average educated american.  In addition to that she is taking some pretty intensive written schooling and testing which is all in english and she usually gets great grades.   She took ESL classes for her first 4-5 months here in USA but soon got bored and moved on to a technical school that does not offer any ESL help.  I'm very proud of her.

Anyway I'm rambling.

The main reason I posted was to mention that "I feel smell." statement.  Anyone else hear their wife say that?

- Maxxum

[deccie]

Anyone else hear their wife say that?

Maxxum,
            Your own post reminds me of another one my lady says.. She objects most vehmently when I say "I can hear you". she is adamant it should be "I listen you".

[Andrew James]

Man I am jealous of you guys! Since finding this site I have been working hard at tempering this whole newbie romanticism re. FSU with a bit of hard edged realism...and this kind of stuff hardly helps!

I mean 'chewing out a NON employee at a hardware store (and then going Borsch red after wards, when realizing her mistake), or 'demanding you take your clothes off' at the most unlikely time due to her difficulty with certain words; That stuff is just adorable!

Now perhaps these funny little episodes are a function of her being a non-native English language speaker - something which, by necessity, fades with time. Perhaps, such episodes also reveal something of the cultural gulf between you, a gap that might in one moment be endearing, and then, in, an another, highlight the distance between you (including your beliefs, customs, values - and props to the late Doug for his insights regarding such potential problems).

That said, I like to believe that such creative attempts at communication also reveal something integral to the Russian W character as well (or my impression of it, anyway): this combination of vulnerability, forthrightness and gutsiness. After all, anyone prepared to relocate to another country and learn another language on top of that has to be admired, perhaps explaining why such quirks are so endearing?

[Kuna]

During the week I ended up with a very painful eye ball for some reason.  My wife was convinced it was because i had a nap on the couch on the weekend with the air conditioner blowing warm air down onto me.

After much persuasion I eventually agreed to hold the (still hot) boiled egg (wrapped in a tea towel) against my eye, “because everyone knows an egg on the eye is good when they are painful”.

My skepticism must have showed but after a few minutes she declared (with more than a hint of victory in her voice), “See, in Australia you have a problem and go to the doctor.  In Ukraine we know many things to fix the body.  You’ll see, the egg will fix your eye.”

Errrr....  the egg didn’t fix my eye but the failure was mine, not the egg.  I’m no longer allowed to nap on the couch, “It’s not good for your eyes”.
I love her, but I hope I’m never REALLY sick! 

[Shadow]

I love her, but I hope I’m never REALLY sick! 

In case of serious illness the best remedy is to sleep under ground while holding your breath. Research has shown that 99,99999% of the people did not have returning complaints.

[Andrew James]

Seems the 'funny things my FSU wife says', go beyond mere language difficulties, relating more (or at least, as much) to her particular and very definite ways of dealing with things. Is this people's experience as their wives become more fluent in English? If so, then perhaps those charming differences remain.

[steviej]

Seems the 'funny things my FSU wife says', go beyond mere language difficulties, relating more (or at least, as much) to her particular and very definite ways of dealing with things. Is this people's experience as their wives become more fluent in English? If so, then perhaps those charming differences remain.

You are right Andrew, it is not just language. It is perspective. It's the tone of voice. It's the emotional content. It is FEMALE. My wife rarely makes stictly language mistakes, per se, anymore, and has hardly ever made too many. But all this stuff is still just as endearing now as it was in the beginning. They become doubly beguiling I guess when the unique FSUW female perspective is wrapped in a cute language gaff, but the heart of the matter is not the gaff ... 

[Doll]

Kuna , it is not an egg like an egg- it is the heat that can heal some soreness. I used HOT eggs or small bags with HOT salt to cure some deceases of my kids.So it about the heat.

[viking]

Doll

I would rather eat the egg and just use a warm compress (like a warm towel or cloth). But why an egg? I wonder how this came to be used.