The beautiful women...

[KenC]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

KenC also wrote:
'Now if you can accept that what I wrote is some what true, let us address the romance and love issue that you bring up. Do you think that there is only one woman in this world that you can possibly fall in love with? I don't. I think you find love where you look for it. If you look for love exclusively in America, you will find it eventually. If you look for it in a fsu country, you will find it there also.'

I agree. -except for the last two sentences. It may be true for you or for me, but look at the experiences of many guys here at RWD. Have they found love? Will they find it eventually? There are many topics, but it all revolves around finding that romance, that wife. You, KenC, have found her, but it sounds so easy, to say that if you look for it, you will eventually find it.

I think there are people here who do NOT know how to look for it. The ones that DO KNOW, do not need advice or guidance. Why can one guy find it and another not?

As stated in the previous post, most guys do not have the time or the money to search for love.  What they usually end up doing is finding mate that has the "potential" for love in the future.  They (usually both husband & wife) take a huge leap of faith and hope for the best.  I could never do that.  It is because of the time restraints that both parties gamble on the future.  And that is exactly why we often witness such dramatic crash & burn stories like Maxx.  And he did a lot of things right!

You once got into a whole thing about love at first sight.  I truly believe that Lena and I were in love at first sight.  But we both were level headed enough to take most of the following year to be sure it wasn't just lust or infatuation.  What the hell is the big rush any way?  Take your time and be sure.

KenC

[KenC]

It's been my observation that the more attractive the woman the lower her self esteem. I am speaking of AM. I'm not sure how this fits with Eastern European women. I have only two attractive RW to judge it by but both have high self esteem which seems converse to what I know about AW. What has been your observations with regard to RW, their attractiveness and their self esteem?

 

PeeWee

PeeWee,

The very good looking RW I have met all seem to have their heads screwed on correctly.  I think very attractive AW don't have low self esteem as much as they are spoiled rotten and have ego problems.  Wouldn't that be the opposite?  I am sure that there are spoiled little princesses in Russia too, but for some reason (Thank God) my wife has a strange mix of confidence and humbleness.

KenC

[jb]

Ken, Peewee,

I'm not necessarily disagreeing with anything said so far, but in the time I've been knowing Russians, I've not seen too many RWs who lack self esteem or confidence, regardless of their looks.  Before marriage,,, perhaps, but once married and in charge of their own families they tend to dig right in and take charge.

I'm still mulling over Journeyman's post regarding the profile of Ruslana, the stunningly beautiful and photogenic, never married 30 y.o., uneducated and unemployed, etc.  How is she feeding herself?  Especially in a city like Saint Petersburg where the cost of living is relatively high compared to the lesser cities and towns.

I'm wondering, since I've not used an agency, how you'd explain to a novice how to read agency profiles.  I'd probably not bother to write to a woman who hadn't completed her education or couldn't show how she earned her keep since those things would be important to me.  I wouldn't want a "clinging vine" type of woman myself.   Although I can understand how some men might find total dependence attractive, I've always been more attracted to women with a little more on the ball.

Seems to me there are some obvious red flags men are missing up front.  I'd be interested to hear from men who have extensive experience with agencies as to how they cull the loosers from the herd aside from judging the books by the cover.

[PeeWee]

Ken, Peewee,

I'm not necessarily disagreeing with anything said so far, but in the time I've been knowing Russians, I've not seen too many RWs who lack self esteem or confidence, regardless of their looks. Before marriage,,, perhaps, but once married and in charge of their own families they tend to dig right in and take charge.

I'm still mulling over Journeyman's post regarding the profile of Ruslana, the stunningly beautiful and photogenic, never married 30 y.o., uneducated and unemployed, etc. How is she feeding herself? Especially in a city like Saint Petersburg where the cost of living is relatively high compared to the lesser cities and towns.

I'm wondering, since I've not used an agency, how you'd explain to a novice how to read agency profiles. I'd probably not bother to write to a woman who hadn't completed her education or couldn't show how she earned her keep since those things would be important to me. I wouldn't want a "clinging vine" type of woman myself. Although I can understand how some men might find total dependence attractive, I've always been more attracted to women with a little more on the ball.

Seems to me there are some obvious red flags men are missing up front. I'd be interested to hear from men who have extensive experience with agencies as to how they cull the loosers from the herd aside from judging the books by the cover.

I suspected the same of the RW. Which does give them a sense about their appearances different than what has been observed in AW. Why is it that one some agency sites it lists "profession" and "occupation" usually two different things? I have not used a agency and so I cannot speak to it, pro or con. Being a tigher than normal bastard I didn't want to pay agency fees, etc. So I looked for a RW via referrals and friends. it seems to have worked for me.

PeeWee

[Michelangelo]

 I'd be interested to hear from men who have extensive experience with agencies as to how they cull the loosers from the herd aside from judging the books by the cover.

I think you pick the girl from the agency profiles with qualities you want--brains, personality, looks, education, and so on.

You write her.  You buy her address and get her phone number and call her.  Then you meet her.

The meeting is the most important.  Some of the girls I had the highest hopes for did not click with me.  I can tell in 5 minutes if both of use have chemistry for each other.

I remember one girl that I met in Zhit after writing 6 weeks.  We were great together in written conversation.  She was beautiful and smart and perfect in my eyes. But I could tell that while I was crazy for her, she was only mildly interested in me.  So sometimes chemistry is a one way street.  

It usaully works the other way for me.  The girls want me, but they do not click for me.

And sometimes, as we see in my 3 strikes thread, the girl can have chemistry with you but still use you while she looks for others

But, to sumarize, go with your criteria, make your choice, communicate with her, and then meet her...

[KenC]

jb,

I absolutely agree with:

I'm not necessarily disagreeing with anything said so far, but in the time I've been knowing Russians, I've not seen too many RWs who lack self esteem or confidence, regardless of their looks. Before marriage,,, perhaps, but once married and in charge of their own families they tend to dig right in and take charge

In fact, I see the strength of RW as threatening to those men that are the least bit timid.

PeeWee asked:

Why is it that one some agency sites it lists "profession" and "occupation" usually two different things?

I would say that "profession" is the field in which the person has been trained or educated in and that "occupation" is what line of work they are currently in.  An example might be a person working as a sales clerk when in fact they hold a degree in engineering.

KenC

[Bruno]

And sometimes, as we see in my 3 strikes thread, the girl can have chemistry with you but still use you while she looks for others

Yep, i have know this.... during 5 year :X ... i was married with her  ... same after divorce, she was wishing to have more "chemistry" with me :?...

Really, chimistry is not the real love... only a physical sharing of fluid... very pleasant but not strong enough for build a life and family...

[KenC]

Bruno,

I know this is hard to believe, but I think you missed the point again when you wrote:

Really, chimistry is not the real love... only a physical sharing of fluid... very pleasant but not strong enough for build a life and family...

"Having chemistry" is not only being matched well sexually, but much much more.  It is to have matching personalities, morals, standards, interests and similar life plans.  You seem to have a lot of confusion between lust and love in the past to write such advice.  If anyone here is guilty of heading into a relationship with his penis, it is you.

KenC

[Journeyman]

jb wrote:

Seems to me there are some obvious red flags men are missing up front. I'd be interested to hear from men who have extensive experience with agencies as to how they cull the loosers from the herd aside from judging the books by the cover.

Have you ever heard the Russian saying, "A Russian woman will never show you her ass." ?

Now, please, guys, that is not, of course, suggesting anything sexual.  Got it?!!!  It is an old saying that is attempting to convey the idea that a RW will not reveal something that is potentially objectionable.  Enough said.  Now, do you recently recall Elen saying that she perfectly understood the rationale behind RW not telling the truth on their profiles about the fact that they smoke?  Hmmm.   And that's not the only thing, of course.

After 5 years of culling profiles, I have gained a little wisdom.  I think.  What I can say is that you need to read the profiles, including the photos, not as a "promise," but rather as a warning.  A possible warning.  Please don't misunderstand me, though.  There is a good number of nice RW out there, but information contained in profiles (again, including photos) is quite unreliable.

What can be useful, however, is being able to notice information (possibly accurate information) that the RW doesn't conciously think of as connoting anything in particular, especially something possibly negative (an inconspicuous red flag).  Like the matter of being able to speak 2 or 3 languages with some good degree of competency, in spite of being a tech school drop-out (especially if she is above average looks).  Not a guarantee of a problem, but something that indicates that a little due diligence is in order.

And, in my experience (and in that of the many other men I've known who have gotten burned badly), failing to proceed through a good deal of due diligence, and in the process attempt to have a somewhat "normal" courtship, will, 9 times out of 10, lead to fatal problems.  A while ago on RWGuide, I saw a few of the veteran posters (including one or two marrieds) saying that they thought that you shouldn't "distrust" the gal you are hoping to marry (ie, should not spend much time on due diligence).  It was simply beyond belief that any rational man could say such a thing.  But, as you know, there are plenty of simply dumb or irrational men who pass through this arena.  And others who are incredibly naive, until they get burned.  

There is no substitute for meeting the gal face-to-face.  Then, if you are not naturally good at "reading people," you had better have an angel or two watching over you when courting these gals.

The bottom line is that, usually, in any society, the good ones are taken early, and don't readily return to the dating pool.  So, why is any particular girl seemingly available?  Especially an apparently physically attractive girl?  And, most particularly, those stunningly attractive 9's or near-10's that show up from time to time.  It just doesn't make sense.  Yes, a few more or less normal and reasonably attractive gals have not gotten hitched by age 24 or 25.  A few.  However, that is the exception.  I can understand why some 4s, 5s, and 6s are not yet married by 25, but the 7s, 8s, and 9s better be able to come up with a good explanation.

And then there are the divorced gals.  Why the divorce?  It is time to investigate.  Those RM are not all drunks and wife-beaters.  A DW with child?  Ok, yes, a lot more difficult for her to get hitched again.  However, not all that impossible.  I've met quite a number of RW who's mothers are married to their second husband.  A good RW, even when divorced, CAN often find a new Russian husband, eventually.  

I got engaged to a RW years ago.  She had been married before, but no children.  Very pretty and a killer body.  Very smart and quite charming.  In the end, before walking down the aisle (thankfully), I was also able to uncover why, at almost 29, she had continued to be available.  Gentleman, do you know the clinical definition of a sociopath?  Look it up.  And then look at the other personality disorders with which it is associated (in the so-called "Cluster B" of disorders).  While sounding awful, it does not mean that that person is a murderer, or otherwise showing an inclination toward criminality.  Often, quite the opposite.  Some are seemingly quite "successful" in life (by some measures).  Psychologists estimate that about 4% of the population are properly labled as sociopaths.  The Russian population is not exempt from that statistic.  And that is just one type of latent problem that takes time to discover in any person, let alone Russian women.

Please guys, especially you guys who are new to the adventure, accept the fact that those gals who are somehow available just might not (as a whole) represent the cream of the crop.  Are there exceptions?  YES!  And I still hope to find one, myself.  However, it may well be that the grass appears greener over there because of all the "fertilizer" mixed in.  My God!  I'm beginning to sound like Andrew!!!:shock:

Journeyman

[Bruno]

Really, chimistry is not the real love... only a physical sharing of fluid... very pleasant but not strong enough for build a life and family...

"Having chemistry" is not only being matched well sexually, but much much more.  It is to have matching personalities, morals, standards, interests and similar life plans.  You seem to have a lot of confusion between lust and love in the past to write such advice.  If anyone here is guilty of heading into a relationship with his penis, it is you.

KenC
[/quote]
Ken, i was thinking like you before i was on these forum... for me, "chemistry" was like harmony between two people...

BUT... here, people say that chemistry can be know only when you meet !!! personalities, moral standards, interest, similar life plans...  can be analysed before meeting, in the exchange of letter...

Several write that they have know the "chimistry" was good in the first minutes from the meeting... what you can know in the first minute of meeting is the lust factor... all the rest need several hours and days from communication for know it...

SO, i have think that for American, "chemistry" was only about sexual attraction... for me, love and sex are two entity very different... sex is possible alone but don't lead to a long term relationship... with love, a long term relationship is possible and in some way, sex is one of the reward of these love relation...

 

[Michelangelo]

But even Russian interpreters tell me that chemistry gives them a difficult time explaining to FSU girls....

[/size][/color]

[RacerX]

Yeah, "chemistry" is definitely an inappropriate word used in this context.  I remember several years ago, a RW who acted as my "advisor" would always ask me: "are we talking chemistry here or intellect?"  For her, chemistry was that initial spontaneous, probably sexual attraction ,whereas intellect meant that more reasoned thinking about the viability of the relationship based on the factors KenC and others have mentioned.  

I can't really offer a good set of semantic terms to use - maybe we need a relationship psychologist to help us out!

[Photo Guy]

Bruno and KenC,
I live in the U.S. ...I view 'chemistry' as something that happens on ALL levels. Bruno, KenC also apparently sees it that way too. In our society, I have to admit that the definition of 'chemistry' is not very clear, and yes it can be used to described a physical/lust thing. But, again, I don't see it as simply physical chemistry. An attractive woman who also connects on other levels, is much more attractive than a woman who only inspires lust, as I've said before. I see good chenmistry as 'chemistry' because there just happens to be many reasons for the attraction, rather than just physical attraction. Michael, I would say that your form of 'chemistry' should be called 'mutual attraction' or mutual lust, which for me, is very easy to find. A special good chemistry is something unique.

In an early email, I told her she was an attractive woman with beautiful eyes. She responded with, 'Thank you -I hope you like ALL of me.' She has a humble quality and she knows how to take a compliment. (AW often do not know how to react to a compliment.) Although she is humble and lets me lead the way, she is also very capable of powerful haggling. As it turned out, I DID like ALL of her...

I don't think you can tell that much from a woman's agency profile. I can read photo portraits, but many guys cannot. You must develop your ability to read people, and fine tune your radar, or else make many mistakes and spend lots of time dating a variety of women.

A good sales person can read a prospective buyer. That same kind of radar can be used to find the right woman.
I think 'love at first sight' is just a case of accurately reading a stranger, who just happens to be very appropriate in terms of good 'chemistry' on all levels. I don't think Love At First Sight is possible for guys who haven't developed an ability to read people. ...Maybe I'm wrong.

[Photo Guy]

My radar informs me that this person is a kind and decent person:  Viktoria 59962
http://www.anastasiaweb.com

[PeeWee]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

My radar informs me that this person is a kind and decent person: Viktoria 59962
http://www.anastasiaweb.com

Her profile is well written. "house keeper" now there is a good sign. I wonder is she likes her profession?

 

PeeWee

[KenC]

Gee, thank you Bruno for explaining what I really meant.  Whatever.  Re-read my post if you want to know what I think chemistry is.  So, am I to understand that you are debating with me on what I really think makes up chemistry?  Good God, you're mad.

KenC

[KenC]

KenC

[/size][/color][/quote]

[Michelangelo]

 

michael wrote: So I say you need more than chemistry--chemistry is just the first step and then you find out of you have similar views of life and if you are compatible for marriage. 

ken wrote: Not by my definition of chemistry.  Maybe by your's.

[/size]That's my point, Ken.  I think you have an unusual definition of chemistry that is not mainstream.  But the important thing is that we all agree that to succeed in marriage, you need MORE than this instant attraction, but need core values and interests, too.

[/color]I told you I liked your broader definition of chemisty.  But to most people, chemistry is that love at first sight sensation.

Or, consider it this way:

CHEMISTRY?

Just the mention of this term conjures up powerful feelings and images for anyone who has ever been in or seeking a love relationship. It is often described as a feeling that leaves you breathless, excited and weak in the knees. Palms sweat, the heart races and the body tingles with nervous anticipation.

It is believed by virtually everyone that true love cannot exist without chemistry. Therefore, the conclusion most would-be lovers come to is that if they experience these intense feelings towards someone, they have the basis for an ideal and lasting relationship. But chemisty alone does not a good marriage make...

This definition of chemistry is limited to one's physical response to another person. But it  lacks an entire dimension that resides in our values, beliefs, personalities and worldview.

Much more is needed in a successful long term relationship.  Initial chemistry with a girl is great! This intense, physical passion is the stuff that Oscar winning movies and best-selling books are made of.  But for a happy ending, you need more than just this initial chemistry together.

[/quote]

[KenC]

Photoguy wrote:

I don't think you can tell that much from a woman's agency profile. I can read photo portraits, but many guys cannot. You must develop your ability to read people, and fine tune your radar, or else make many mistakes and spend lots of time dating a variety of women.

A good sales person can read a prospective buyer. That same kind of radar can be used to find the right woman.
I think 'love at first sight' is just a case of accurately reading a stranger, who just happens to be very appropriate in terms of good 'chemistry' on all levels. I don't think Love At First Sight is possible for guys who haven't developed an ability to read people.

When I spoke about love at first sight with Lena and I, I literally ment "first sight" as in our first meeting face to face.  Even though there certainly was a lot of "reading" going on for both of us, it was not as if we were strangers.  You have to keep in mind that Lena and I knew each other well from months of daily phone calls.  All that was fine and good, but you never know how that will translate in person.  It was as if we had known each other forever.

 I still don't believe in love at first sight with a stranger.  Lust at first sight, yes, but not love.  You have to know the person to be truly in love with them, IMO.

KenC[/size]

[Bruno]

Gee, thank you Bruno for explaining what I really meant.  Whatever.  Re-read my post if you want to know what I think chemistry is.  So, am I to understand that you are debating with me on what I really think makes up chemistry?  Good God, you're mad.

KenC

Ken, i don't speak about what you really mean but what the majority here mean... your definition was what i think before coming here but several people have use these word for define the lust factor so, i have use it in this way...

I have write about your and other definition... i don't debate on what you think... Why do you see the bad in my post... i like and agree with your definition, it was my original one... but my meaning have change with time because of other... i have never find in a dictionary a definition other that the chimical for "chemistry" so i use it in the way the majority think... and in no case, this invalid your own definition... Really, i don't see why i am mad...

I have already speak about "chemistry" before... on a poetic side or biochimic side... take a look at http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/view_topic.php?id=264&forum_id=4&jump_to=3775#p3775

If you read the second post, the biochimic, you can see that the lust factor is needed for a long lasting relation... i don't like these biochimic text but it is the reality...

 

[Seekandfind]

"I guess it takes a guy from Europe to understand the meaning of this word in English.  "

 

Bruno is NOT typical European, believe me.

[Bruce]

Seekandfind - Have you ever been to Russia?  All I have read from you are persistent attacks on Bruno, which contribute nothing and your long diatribe starting this thread stating that you have visited your "friend" who is setting up a company in Latvia a number of times.   You state you had a "relationship" for 12 years with a woman which you yourself broke off.   Your advice is to go to Western Europe to find women.  Are you in reality a Western European woman just here trolling?   So, please tell us how many times you have been to Russia, where and when and what you can add to this board.  Remember, it is the Russian Women Discussion board! 

[Bruno]

Bruno is NOT typical European, believe me.

For the first time, i agree with you... i don't feel myself Belgium or European... i am over this... i am a citizen of the world...

My long world trip of 9 year during my Navy work have allow me to know several culture, other that our own culture...

The typical European can be like the typical American, the typical French,... enough closed minded, afraid from all is unknow... not because they are bad but because the miss of knowledge from other culture...

And in some way, everybody is unique... nobody is typical... we are not clone... each people have his own mentality and meaning...

I don't see the Europe like a new power block but more like a new step in the unification of our world...

But maybe can you explain us what is a typical European from Denmark... and why you are here in the same way...

[Seekandfind]

Seekandfind - Have you ever been to Russia?  All I have read from you are persistent attacks on Bruno, which contribute nothing and your long diatribe starting this thread stating that you have visited your "friend" who is setting up a company in Latvia a number of times.   You state you had a "relationship" for 12 years with a woman which you yourself broke off.   Your advice is to go to Western Europe to find women.  Are you in reality a Western European woman just here trolling?   So, please tell us how many times you have been to Russia, where and when and what you can add to this board.  Remember, it is the Russian Women Discussion board! 

Read it again, I said a women 12 years younger. Have YOU ever been to Latvia, do you think the difference is that big? Dream on. I wrote WHY NOT go to Western Europe, the difference between Eastern And Western European women is very small. But of course, if you are so naive that you choose to believe that Russian women are different from western, have different values and are more into luuuuuv, then go ahead.

Troll? Sure dude, I am troll. No, even better, I am a AM scammer!!!...are you scared now?......What are you? 

 There are  some people in here, who pass on great advice. If the purpose of the site is to blow sunshine up people´s asses, maybe I am in the wrong place. It is not my intention to be neither mean spirited nor confrontational, but  I do get real annoyed when "victims" like Bruno keep posting idiotic off topic nonsense all the time, ruining the threads with irrelevant questions, advice and personal filosofies. Especially when it is a European like Bruno, "representing" the European view. He would be considered an idiot in the states and he is considered an idiot here.

I´ll try and behave, I have no intention to "troll" the forum, but don´t expect me to blow sunshine up your ass.

[Bruno]

Especially when it is a European like Bruno, "representing" the European view.

I don't representing the European view... i represent my own view... i am European only because i am birth in Europe but this have no influence on my own meaning...

About be considered to be a idiot... you have the right to think it but it is not because you think it that it become a universal reality... some people don't share my meaning but be sure that some people don't share your meaning too...

No one know the "verity"... i bring here what i know, my personal experience and my meaning... free for other to take what they think interesting for them...

I representing only myself here... it is your right to find me a idiot but it will be more interesting to bring your own meaning in place of make only some attack and insult... actually, several of your post are view on myself but not about my idea... bring your experience here and we will see if your own view is more valid that my own view...