Experiencing the Cinderella Complex: I married a FSU woman

[BC]

gousa,

You sound like you really need to find someone to talk to.

[gousa]

Is that a bad thing?

[Shadow]

Your last posts solved the math question.
You were divorced in 2003 and today, 5 years on, you are still stuck in this story.
I suggest the person you talk to is a professional, as it is already showing you are beyond our reach of help.

[gousa]

We were married in 2004, divorced in 2007.  Okay I'm always the bad guy as usuall.   That car was bought in 2005, it was a 2000 and it was mint for 4000.00.
It needed a new engine a year later and that was 4500.00.

[gousa]

We just broke up for the last time in a couple months ago.

[Shadow]

Just a few months into the marriage she demanded that I buy that new house and move us to Florida.   I imagine that was spurred by a desire to be with more Russians and I uderstand that.  I made the sacrafice and spent the money and it was a gift to her.  But I get half of it back in a few years.    If you want to add that gift, 275,000 was my total contribution to the family over three years.  That came directly from my investment accounts.   It could have been more but I kept a lid on it.   She sits in the nice house that I bought.  She certainly isn't in a hole.   She's working, taking care of a nice house in a nice southern city, spoiling her child, and having lots of dates.   How is that a hole?    That car I got for her is used but it's nice.   It's a mint Plymouth breeze with a new engine and three year warranty.

Nope.  Other Russian women and their wealthy husbands here commented to me that I was spoiling her too much.   Some of them joked about it too.  My dad got hurt when I was 16, he lived 13 more years as a paraplegic.  My mom and myself took care of him.   THe house if Florida was purchased in 2002 for 150 grand.   It was a Carlson home, built in the year 2000.  It was a four bedroom, two bath, 1700 sq feet with a two car garage and a huge family room  and a large fenced in yard in a deed restricted subdivision.   The value hasn't gone up much since then because of the housing crash, but it went up to 190,000 for awhile.

Something not adding up here.
If you were married in 2004, how could she have demanded you to buy a house in Florida in 2002 ?

[gousa]

OOps typo......fixing now......

[BC]

Is that a bad thing?

No it is certainly not a bad thing but I think you have gained all this forum can provide.. your needs go above and beyond that.

[gousa]

Okay.   I realize that I rushed into the thing and  was ill prepared
but that woman has some serious issues and so do many of the Russian
imports that I have met through her.   I realize that my ex needs someone
more patient and spoiling and maintenance giving than I am willing to keep on
giving, so I systematicly brought an end to the relationship which is not what she wanted me to do.   That was extremely painful for both of us.   


 I've got a date for Saturday night so I'm looking forward to that.   Unfortunatly
it's not the translator but the translator definitly likes me as most people do, but certainly not many in this place.   

How many times have I thanked almost everyone for the mixed amounts of support that have been here?  Thanks again.  What should I do now inthis place?    Log out, close out, and disappear, or do I have something to offer?

[Bruce]

You have a ton to offer everyone on this board.  Do not think for a moment that everyone does not appreciate your posts.  You are particularly helpful to the few guys out there looking for a girl in Russia or Ukraine these days as well as the additional guys out there thinking about marrying someone elses X already here by marriages that dissolved for whatever reasons (mules, sugardaddies, tyrants, green card girls, look see leavers, BBDF (bigger better deal females), spoiled beotches, cinderella brains etc. + those that just did not work out over the course of time).

Thanks so much!

[gousa]

You have a ton to offer everyone on this board.  ...........Thanks so much!

Yeah bro!   She wasn't completely the end of the world, but you could see it
from there.     There were times when I heard that she was laughed at by some of her
RW freinds.  Especially about her spoiling the boy.   She never made him speak formal Russian to her.   It was all ways informal Russian.   One of her female freinds said that was taboo.

[Turboguy]

Just because BC thinks you should get lost doesn't mean you need to follow.  That is just HIS opinion.   Some may even think you got lost several years ago but that too is not important and just their thoughts.   I think there are some valuable things to be gained from your experience.   Lots of newbies read some of the MOB sites and think you go over and have Stepford wives fighting to marry you and you will live life in Nirvana ever after.   We all know that is not true and I think your story is a good example of what can happen and why really understanding how important it is to pick a good woman and how to working to have a successful relationship is important.  RWD is probably the best source of learing in both categories and I am sure more can learn from you if you hang around.  I do think another RW in your future might be a mistake but that is my opinion and my opinion and a dollar won't even buy you a cup of coffee at Starbucks.

I am not sure there is much more to talk about in your situation in this thread but sometimes one post can give something new direction and new life.  Stick around GoUSA,  The party is just beginning.

[gousa]

Thanks Turboguy,

If I really get bored I can always do some volunteer work and that's been on my agenda for awhile.    I have a wealth of mathematical, computer, legal, and financial knowlege if anyone likes that stuff.   My ex even admitted that I was a know-it-all.  I could always be a tutor at the local community college or something.   But I've also got the property management thing going on.
I'm up on that stuff too.  So it's back to chores and hobbies and of course
some single broads.     

das-vee-dan-ya     

[BC]

Just because BC thinks you should get lost doesn't mean you need to follow.  That is just HIS opinion.   

...........

I am not sure there is much more to talk about in your situation in this thread but sometimes one post can give something new direction and new life.  Stick around GoUSA,  The party is just beginning.

Just for the record, below is what was really said:

gousa,

You sound like you really need to find someone to talk to.

Is that a bad thing?

No it is certainly not a bad thing but I think you have gained all this forum can provide.. your needs go above and beyond that.

TG, Draw your own conclusions without stuffing words in my mouth.

[Turboguy]

BC, to me it seemed that GoUSA was taking your advice as saying that he should get lost.   My impression of what you were saying was that perhaps if he had some counceling it would help him to put the past behind him and find some peace.   I think I read both of you properly but if you were saying something else you are very welcome to correct me.

[KenC]

You have a ton to offer everyone on this board.  Do not think for a moment that everyone does not appreciate your posts.  You are particularly helpful to the few guys out there looking for a girl in Russia or Ukraine these days as well as the additional guys out there thinking about marrying someone elses X already here by marriages that dissolved for whatever reasons (mules, sugardaddies, tyrants, green card girls, look see leavers, BBDF (bigger better deal females), spoiled beotches, cinderella brains etc. + those that just did not work out over the course of time).

Thanks so much!

Bruce,
In all the posts of yours that I have read over the years there is no other post that I disagree with as much as this one.  I can only assume you didn't read this thread but just skimmed the topic lightly.   This guy and his story are so off the wall unbelievable that they would prove to be useless to any normal person.  He is here not to teach from his experience but to whine and attempt to justify his strange actions.  There does seem to be an underlying cry for help, but as BC said up thread, this guy is beyond being helped by this forum and only a professional might be able to help him.

Personally, I don't care what happens to goUSA and his future dating antics are not the subject matter for this forum.  I still half think he is a troll.  I just wish he would change his name to goAWAY.
KenC

[Ade]

The next day she was nagging at me give the Playstation back.  I decided that I was not going to listen to this for 30 days so I took off and visited my cousin for a few days.    When I came back as soon as she saw me she dropped everything and attacked me, ripping my clothes off and scratching my arms as I moved about trying to get away from her.   

So you just decided to leave home for some days because she was nagging? And then you were surprised that she was really pissed at you when you got back?

Dude, you really have no understanding of women at all do you?

My ex-wife and any of my girlfriends since would have at the very least dumped me for that.

[BC]

BC, to me it seemed that GoUSA was taking your advice as saying that he should get lost.   My impression of what you were saying was that perhaps if he had some counceling it would help him to put the past behind him and find some peace.   I think I read both of you properly but if you were saying something else you are very welcome to correct me.

How do you reconcile your 'impression' described above of what I said with:

Just because BC thinks you should get lost doesn't mean you need to follow.  That is just HIS opinion. 

Seem quite contrary.. -even making me wonder about the purpose of your post.. what did I miss?

Maybe the new OMB still getting twitches of rah rah...

 

[Turboguy]

BC, I am not quite sure what you are saying.  I am sure KenC and some others would be happier to see Go go.  The thread has been interesting and has created some controversy.  Perhaps it might help newbies understand that it is not an endeavor that is likely to be successful for someone who prefers a meager existence to working and is  used to shopping in Goodwill stores for the things they can't find in others trash.   I think that part is good.

As far as Go himself.  I think he should forget about FSU women.  I won't say there isn't someone out there who would be perfect for him but it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack.   This thread has about covered what there is to cover.   I think Go's ability to advise others how to succeed is minimal.  As far as a role model for failure there is not much more to add.   As far as his learning what he should have done, I think that is a waste.  I have heard super markets and churches are good ways to meet women.  Perhaps in Go's case he should start hanging out in the Goodwill stores in hopes of finding his perfect mate.

I do think Go was the biggest cause of the failure of his marriage.  I think Cinderella is a good example of someone marrying someone they hardly know and the problems that can occur.   She is a poster child for increasing the length of time on a K-1.   I have to put him in the same class as Sonar for the old timers with good memories.   

I do think he needs to move on with his live and perhaps some counseling would help.   As far as telling him he should get lost from RWD, to me that is his choice.  I don't know how much he can gain or contribute here.   I may have passed the Rah-Rah stage in my transition to an OMB but I have yet to reach the point where I would tell him to get lost.  I may not miss him much if he does but to me that is his choice. 

[BC]

BC, I am not quite sure what you are saying. 

Yeah.. had a similar interaction with VW a couple days ago IIRC.. Just could not get my point across.. Maybe it's that Pennsylvania air..

 

[Turboguy]

Humm, Sure BC.  Perhaps you are like Go and want to think the other party is the problem.   

[BC]

Humm, Sure BC.  Perhaps you are like Go and want to think the other party is the problem.   

Problem?? what problem? over 'n out.

[vwrw]

Yeah.. had a similar interaction with VW a couple days ago IIRC.. Just could not get my point across.. Maybe it's that Pennsylvania air..

No, you remember incorrectly.   The interaction was yesterday.   It is claimed that memory and logic have a connection.  It would explain a lot.

If you do not live in Pennsylvania how its air can affect you and make you unable to explain your conclusion? 

[gousa]

Just trying to clean up a few things.

Q:  Why didn't I get a job in FL?

A:   Because in my field, IT, there was almost nothing available.  AS I said before I would have had to do a road job in IT and that was not what she wanted.  SHe wanted me around 24 hours a day to knaw and chew on and give her attention and feed her and buy her things and plan vacations, which she gave no contribution to even start to help planning for.    I would have had to get a job at Wal-Mart or something like that.     Nobody here finds that odd?

Did anyone notice that we just had our final breakup 2 months ago?

Did anyone notice that was a Carlson home that I bought?

I'll agree that I handled things like a gorilla, but I was getting a little of that treatment as well.

Plus she also wanted me to sell the highly valuable property in the north, which needs lots of my attention by the way, and buy
bigger and better property in the south, giving her half ownership in everything.
Does that seem odd to anyone?   Instant millionaire status for her?

Is there anyone here who thinks outside the box?

She wanted absolutely no hesitation in this relationship whatsoever.  She made that very clear from the begining.  She wanted OUT and she wanted it fast, as fast as I could provide it.     I'm sure that was one of those red flags that I should have noticed.

[BC]

No, you remember incorrectly.   The interaction was yesterday.   It is claimed that memory and logic have a connection.  It would explain a lot.

If you do not live in Pennsylvania how its air can affect you and make you unable to explain your conclusion? 

Now why do I get the feeling I'm getting tag teamed...  guess I'll just have to tag my last response.. these conversations remind me of aliona in the chatroom.

[The Lounge]: Aliona has entered at 7:32 pm
Welcome! You have entered [The Lounge] at 7:32 pm
[The Lounge]: BC has entered at 7:32 pm
[BC] 7:33 pm: Hi Aliona.  Do you know anything about the air in pennsylvania?
[Aliona] 7:33 pm: Hi there BC.  What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.  Have you ever been to
Europe? I do not know what air in pennsylvania in pennsylvania in pennsylvania in pennsylvania is.   I do not
understand.  Do you have any pets.
[BC] 7:34 pm: just pet peeves
[Aliona] 7:34 pm: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.  If you could have any kind of robot what
would it be?
[BC] 7:35 pm: well.. you really don't want to know..
[Aliona] 7:35 pm: Well what?Really? Thanks for telling me:   BC said I .

So here it is folks.. 'over 'n out'.