Wife split!

[BC]

Every AM knows about DVC machine and it is just enough to drop hints about DVC and how his life can be screwed...

Yes, my life was 'screwed' the day we married.

Along with a ring, she received access to bank accounts, credit cards, unlimited and unmonitored use of telephone and the internet.

.. After all she is my WIFE..

sad that so many just don't get this 'point'.

[OlgaH]

Olga, dear, are talking of apples or oranges? I said it (you quoted) about my son's and mine  staying in a shelter after we were locked out with no money and no place to live. Does your quoting make any sense?

Did you file for divorce or you preferred to stay with your "husband - abuser"?
Doll you question Wayne's story... do we have a reason to believe you that you simply did not blackmail your husband?

We were in Russia on a visit and my husband wanted to get the divorce.

He never filed for divorce and never sent us back.
Too much credit to me- I could do it and was going to. Then we talked and tried to solve the problem. It worked.

 

[BC]

Then we talked and tried to solve the problem. It worked.

That seems to fit my definition of marriage.

Lets face it.. international marriages do have a tough time making it somehow work.

[Sculpto]

Russians say the curse is on the one who wants the curse for somebody, they say "it falls on his head"

LOL to be clear I did not propose cursing someone, just that the person who wants to use the curse might consider one that would lead to more suffering on the part of the victim. 

[OlgaH]

That seems to fit my definition of marriage.

BC I think we have a different definition of marriage.
I will not stay with a man who doesn't want I to stay with him.

[Doll]

do we have a reason to believe you that you simply did not blackmail your husband?

Sure you do! You have all the reasons. Just don't waste time on compiling

[Doll]

We were in Russia on a visit and my husband wanted to get the divorce.

He never filed for divorce and never sent us back.
Too much credit to me- I could do it and was going to. Then we talked and tried to solve the problem. It worked.

What didn't you understand?
He did NOT file for the divorce, he did NOT send us back.

[Doll]

Did you file for divorce or you preferred to stay with your "husband - abuser"?

Sick of labels.
Neither-nor, dear.
Worked it out and will celebrate our 7th anniversary in February.

[OlgaH]

Sick of labels.
Neither-nor, dear.
Worked it out and will celebrate our 7th anniversary in February.

Doll, you are too imaginative  There was not any labels just a question 

Congratulations on your 7th anniversary!

Just a joke 

A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn t in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she asks. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes, I do," she replies. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years? " "I remember that, too," she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today."

[BC]

BC I think we have a different definition of marriage.
I will not stay with a man who doesn't want I to stay with him.

Olga,

I wouldn't stay with a woman who doesn't want to stay with me either.. but at times, especially early on it was exactly that or vide versa.

I'm extremely happy we were able to overcome those hurdles.. - together.

Marriages aren't made in heaven and it takes a heck of a lot of work to keep things on an even keel.

Now, even well into our 6th year of marriage, I am the last person to cry 'Success!!', but the first to say that we have been able to both sacrifice ego and turn toward each other rather than away when facing difficulties.

She, or even I can wake up tomorrow, let the 'sh!t hit the fan and threaten to walk away.. but guess what.. based on our past experience we will find ways to work things out.

Whether or not this represents a different definition is quite debatable.

-The results, in the end, are not.

[OlgaH]

BC,

I know what marriage life is 

BTW
Have you ever locked your wife out? Has your wife ever announced you that she has a lover but want to stay with you for obtaining her citizenship? Has your wife ever threatened you with "DVC machine" or may be she was going to file for it?

[BC]

BC,

I know what marriage life is 

BTW
Have you ever locked your wife out? Has your wife ever announced you that she has a lover but want to stay with you for obtaining her citizenship? Has your wife ever threatened you with "DVC machine" or may be she was going to file for it?

Olga,

No, can't say that I have experienced such..

Thank goodness permanent residence was never an issue here.  She had permanent residence since the day she arrived.  DV? There is no real reason to even file DV charges here unless they are warranted and well substantiated.  There is no fear of being deported regardless of marital circumstances.

[Diplomacy]

BC

You are succeeding and that will lead to success I hope.  You hit some key points on the last post.  2 strong personalities can be tough dynamic. 

[Maxx2]

Maybe she would enjoy the second part! (Doll being parachuted buck naked over Siberia)

I think I was starting to arouse her so I backed off. I respect the institution of marriage.


Maxx

[OlgaH]

There is no fear of being deported regardless of marital circumstances.

Fear of being deported  can also clearly indicate a person's real intention in marriage and what the person is ready for just to stay in the country... 

[LEGAL]

Then why are you talking of karma?

I think we should be talking more about Karma sutra its less arguing, educational and more fun 

[Doll]

Doll, you are too imaginative  Wink There was not any labels just a question

Yes, I am But I can't call my husband an abuser- it just happened and we worked it out. 7 years and nobody thinks of GC or citizenship- we are just married.I have no doubts- it IS a happy marriage.

[LEGAL]

Lots of Karma I hope 

[SANDRO43]

Lots of Karma I hope 

Let's all wish for a future KArMA-SUTRA-GEDDON !

[Doll]

I think we should be talking more about Karma sutra its less arguing, educational and more fun 

[Maxx2]

Perhaps both of you should go back and re-read what I wrote, including the qualifiers I inserted.

dobradavid,
There are many reasons why wives stop sleeping with their husbands, and most have absolutely nothing to do with obtaining a greencard. Usually it stems from a feeling of insecurity or instability, either with their partner, their surroundings, their finances, or their outlook for the future. Although if you read what I wrote, you'd understand I made no comment on that issue, I ONLY commented on the relative permissiveness of extra-marital affairs outside US borders.

Maxx2,
When the Ex Girlfriend and I split it was an amicable decision and there was no hostility whatsoever. Upon advice of her daughter though, the cops were there in 10 minutes just to make sure things didn't turn ugly. People do this sort of thing - often.

Don't forget that we are hearing ONE side of a story, there are at least 2 more sides we haven't heard and they may impact opinion in a big way. I do not believe that this situation is "all Wayne's fault" but feel certain he is not 100% innocent victim either.

Jet, she slept with him all the way up to the alter. You are obfuscating this issue with "There are many reasons why wives stop sleeping with their husbands". None of those reasons are the reason why she stopped sleeping with Wayne. She stopped sleeping with Wayne because she got what she wanted and was giving him the message she had contempt for him. GCG love to psychologically torture their victims. It's what they do.

Your ex-girl friend was not a woman in need of a green card and she wasn't Russian either. Russian women involve the police to get a police report or to get their husband arrested.

Of course we are hearing ONE side of the story. From all the stories I have heard (and experienced) his story fits a very familiar pattern. That gives it the element of truth. The details that Wayne gave gave it another element of truth to his story's believeability. Is he leaving anything out? Perhaps but that doesn't change the fundamentals that she is a GCG. Perhaps she might get more sympathy around here which is easy to do as so many of you are soft in the head about RW.  

Wayne maybe 100% innocent and I do believe in the presumption of innocence unless I have proof otherwise. Being naive and trusting and taken as a fool is not guilt either. Anyone one of you guys could be snookered by a beautiful Russian woman except William3rd   and me (now not back then).  


Maxx    

[Doll]

She stopped sleeping with Wayne because she got what she wanted

What did she get? Wedding is not GC. A husband can refuse to file the papers. Some of them do and this is the reason for deportation. GCGs know it.

[Diplomacy]

Maxx

Yes, yes, and more yes.  I would never underestimate the capabilities of a woman trying to provide a better life for her or her child.  It is the timing of the events and too much detail for me to question much.  

I do not understand if the members that went through similar situation say it is exact same pattern, how we can give him a hard time.  Being too nice and naive is not a crime.  A woman committing a fraud to obtain Green Card is.

I do not understand the mentality of thinking they deserve more.  If you are a FSU woman who has children and over 25. Your chances of another marriage is not very good.  Am I wrong?

So instead of thanking God himself for bringing a man into their lives who would be willing to.  They feel that they are entitled to the lifestyle of the rich and famous when they come to America too?  Just missing the logic, you would think that having a father for a child would be more important than lifestyle.

I mean I saw a lot of the Pensioner Babushka looking for glass.  It is horrible, I would be happy to not be heading down that road.

Am I off base here?

[Diplomacy]

Doll:

She left him after she had the INTERVIEW FOR Green CARD. 

She kept him controlled with Sex to get what she wanted.

[Misha]

My thoughts, BC, are that to come to this country with this intent is close to a suicide unless women have tons of money, and even though a good husband is what they are looking for. It is hard to survive here if you are an immigrant, it is times harder if you have a kid. The chance for premeditated GC intent is quite slim.

Why? Knew one woman who came to Canada to be with her husband. Much older, well off. She left him for a younger man. She was in her late 20s, early 30s with a kid. She simply waited to make sure she had somewhere else to go before she left.