Wife split!

[Misha]

Misha.. thanks for the concern.. its not sleep apnea.. i just snore.. if I am on my back its worse.. yet.. if I am in a hammock on the beach in Mexico it disappears.. LOL.. BTW.. my girl snores louder than me.. she says it started after some thugs in Tomsk broke her nose after taking some photos of them buring down a wood house.

That is good as sleep apnea does have some long-term consequences: because your blood oxygen levels are always dropping, your heart is forced to work with less oxygen. It is an ex-girlfriend who finally helped me to clue in to my problem. She noted that when I was snoring, I would stop breathing for 10 or so seconds, start gasping for air, and then would start snoring again for a few more minutes until cycle started over again.

[ScottinCrimea]

Sorry, this will be off-topic. Scott, it is evident that you do not suffer from sleep apnea   The problem is that you do not really sleep. You end up waking hundred of times per night because you stop breathing. You usually wake up with a headache and are exhausted, hardly putting you in the right condition to lose weight. Also, a good night's sleep is necessary for your body to produce the chemicals needed to lose pounds. I, for one, lost the weight AFTER getting a C-PAP and actually waking up refreshed and energized. Finally, different people are more prone to sleep apnea even if they are paper thin.  

This may help for some, but not all. I could sleep on my head, and I would still snore and would still suffer from sleep apnea.

True enough. Depends on personal preferences. I opted for a machine that blows air into my nose when sleeping as opposed to getting operated on which always has some risk, no matter how minor.

Misha, no need for the clue bat.  I'm fully aware of the effects. You don't need sleep apnea to know the effects of sleep deprivation. Sure, I don't suffer from the condition, but I have family members who do, I have worked with specialists in sleep disorders and have treated many patients with this problem, so I think I have some authority to make suggestions.  There are various causes and severities of sleep apnea, some of which will respond to my suggestions and some that won't.  I was asked for ideas and I provided them.  As far as the weight issue that seemed to hit a nerve with you, of course it is not always a factor in the cause but will typically worsen the problem. Metabolism issues aside, I'm not aware of any direct link between lack of sleep affecting how much or what foods one eats.

For those who don't know what a C-PAP machine is, it refers to Continuous Positive Airway Pressure, provided by a bedside machine that blows oxygen either into your nose through prongs or your nose and mouth through a plastic mask, keeping some positive pressure in your airways at all times and so preventing the palate from dropping down and obstructing things.  Some do fine with the nasal prongs but most need the mask.  At times I wonder which is worse for the spouse, hearing the snoring all night or seeing you lying there with the maks on and hearing the air pump circulationg all night.

For many, what I have suggested will do the trick but for some the only solution is the C-PAP or surgery (uvulopalatopharyngoplasty).  Actually, with the new laser treatments, it's not such a bad option.

Okay, enough for the medical lecture.  Now back to topic.

[OlgaH]

If you accept my premise it would indicate, and I believe this is the more likely scenario, the woman did absolutely NO thinking about what she was doing.. she lived purely in the moment.. got to Wayne's house and had an attack of panic brought on by who knows what, exhuastion, lack of orgasm, foul odor on the mans breath, she is really a closeted lesbian but can't face it in herself because of Russian morality, who knows...  And from that point on she bumbled from one stupid situation into another for five months until she got someone with enough focus to point her into a direction that made sense to her. 

Sculpto, there already was a statement that we haven't heard other side and  a version of a severe urinary tract infection... What else we can add? 

In such case there should be a big red warning on the home page of the board:

BEFORE POSTING YOUR STORY AND SHARING YOUR PROBLEMS WITH US ASKING FOR ADVICE AND HELP, THINK TWICE, BECAUSE WE WILL DOUBT YOUR STORY AND WE WILL WRITE OUR OWN VERSIONS OF YOUR STORY AND PROBLEMS, BASING OUR VERSIONS ON OUR OWN GUESSES OF WHAT REALLY HAPPENED, WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL US AND WHAT REAL FACTS YOUR HIDE FROM US!

Sounds good 

[Misha]

At times I wonder which is worse for the spouse, hearing the snoring all night or seeing you lying there with the mask on and hearing the air pump circulating all night.

Well, when it comes to my wife, you don't have to wonder Scott, she prefers by a wide margin the slight hum of C-PAP as opposed to my snoring which in terms of decibels fits in somewhere between a tractor and a chainsaw. Different strokes, for different folks, but at least my wife did not have to sleep in another bedroom.

[Misha]

As far as the weight issue that seemed to hit a nerve with you

Not really. I don't claim that I am thin, but I am not obese either. Just pointing out that the weight issue is often as much a symptom as a cause of sleep apnea. The National Heart Blood and Lung Institute, for example, lists four other causes of sleep apnea (http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/SleepApnea/SleepApnea_Causes.html).

[Sculpto]

Sculpto, there already was a statement that we haven't heard other side and  a version of a severe urinary tract infection... What else we can add? 

In such case there should be a big red warning on the home page of the board:

BEFORE POSTING YOUR STORY AND SHARING YOUR PROBLEMS WITH US ASKING FOR ADVICE AND HELP, THINK TWICE, BECAUSE WE WILL DOUBT YOUR STORY AND WE WILL WRITE OUR OWN VERSIONS OF YOUR STORY AND PROBLEMS, BASING OUR VERSIONS ON OUR OWN GUESSES OF WHAT REALLY HAPPENED, WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL US AND WHAT REAL FACTS YOUR HIDE FROM US!

Sounds good 

LOL Olga.. yes there should be a disclaimer.  HAHAHAHA!!!

However, there are TONS of other interesting speculations of what could have happened that first night after the wedding.  Here is a little list for your entertainment.  Sorry Wayne..  I am not picking on you.. please take all of this semi seriously and more in the sense of "making fun of a problem makes it seem less of a problem"

Bed Bugs.  Suprisingly this is a real problem.  Some immigrant from China brought them over and now they are on the loose in the Bay Area.. who knows.. the bed bugs may have immigrated to Michigan rather quickly.. you know it only takes one..  Wayne.. do you need an exterminator?

Wayne wore shoes into the bedroom and did not remove socks before getting into bed.  According to my girl the removal of shoes at the front door is a sign of respect to the woman because it is the woman who will be on her hands and knees cleaning the floor.  So, Wayne, did you remove your shoes and take off your socks?

Neighbor was peeping.  Wayne, are your neighbors pervs?

The woman has a bondage fetish and asked Wayne to tie her up and he refused, or,  
Wayne has a bondage fetish and asked if he could tie her up and she was shocked and offended.
Umm Wayne.. did any kinkiness interfere?

I am sure there are other wildly ridiculous speculations that could actually have some portion of truth.  

[Doll]

Doll, I can't believe you have been in the US 7 years and don't understand the issues of auto financing and marital property.  Most likely he bought it before they married, which means that her only share in ownership is what portion of the car was paid off during the marriage less the decrease in value of the car, so basically nothing.  Even if they bought it after the marriage, it would have to be in his name only because she wouldn't have any credit history to qualify to buy it.

I don't have to know all the things, when I have I will. It is OK to not know everything.
As for bying the car they didn't need her credit history because this the joint ownership and they are married. If one spouse fails to pay then they will  go for another.

[Doll]

Why is the property, not that I have much, that I had BEFORE I met her in any way her property? 

Who said so? Show me.

[Sculpto]

Before going for a C-PAP machine or iron lung or anything else, try to avoid those things that create or exacerbate the problem.  If you are overweight, shed some pounds.  Avoid any depressants before bedtime such as sleeping pills, alcohol or pot.  These cause the back of your throat to relax too much, dropping down and partially obstructing your breathing passages. Try putting a 2x4 under the legs of the head of your bed so there is a very slight slope down to your feet (not so much that you end up on the floor at the foot of your bed by morning) or try using an extra pillow. This allows gravity to help you out.  (Lord knows its effects on us as we age aren't so pleasant so at least we can get something back). There are also some simple surgical or laser procedures that can fix the problem.

Just some ideas that might help.  In any case cheaper than buying another bed or bedroom.

Scott.. I see some value in your suggestions.  I am sure losing some weight wouldn't hurt as I have a bit of reflux also which I know is weight related, though, the snoring predates any weight gain I have had.  I can see your point on the depressents also.. though.. the ganja is one thing I might have a hard time giving up.  If I try to sleep without it I usually can't sleep more than two or three hours, but, one toke and I am out all night and wake up refreshed as long as I have had at least six.  I will loook into the possibility of having a procedure done if it is covered by my insurance.  

However, I am still curious to hear from the ladies about what are the common sleeping arrangements.  Given we have already discussed the amount of sleep and several posters mentioned their wives have very different patterns.. going to bed much later than husband.. and so on.. I simply wonder.

and to throw another outrageous speculation at Wayne.. to at least keep this somewhat on-thread.  Wayne.. did you try to go to sleep at 9pm and she wanted to stay up much later?

[Doll]

The license plates are good until Sep 2009.

so it IS a marital property

[Sculpto]

Don't think I am TOTALLY inattentive.
As for Wayne's wife- I am not sure, just said it is not a big deal for him to cry over or feel unsafe.
We don't know (none of us) what stands behind this story.
Though again- the law and me  think that the marital property belongs to both.
After all they are still married.

The way I understand your comment refelcts why I posted what I did.  If I already own a car.. well the bank owns half of it.. and then I get married.. some portion of my car would become the property of my wife.. that is how i understand what you wrote.  

BTW.. she has abandoned the marriage.  Their marriage is merely a technicality at this point.

[Misha]

so it IS a marital property

Well, it would be more accurate to define it as marital debt. The car is not fully owned by either, the only question is who will be responsible for paying the debt owed.

[Sculpto]

so it IS a marital property

What Misha said.. and I would add that as she has abandoned the marriage and taken the car without Wayne's permission and transported it across state lines, Wayne could report it as a stolen vehicle to the state and city of New York and see what happens.  If the system there is anything like it is in SF she will one day walk to to go to the car and it will have been towed as a reclaimed stolen vehicle when the street sweepers who also check liscence plates for stolen vehicles go by.  Or, what could happen sooner as parking in NYC can not be any easier than it is in SF if the car is on the books as being stolen the first time she gets a parking ticket.. and you know that will not take long, they will tow the car.  At that point Wayne could then go to his bank and insurance company and say look, the car was reclaimed as stolen.. I told you guys it was in fact stolen.. now if you want it back YOU go get it out of the NYC lockup and btw cancel the loan while you are at it.

Any damage to Wayne's credit is in fact small potatos compared to the current alternatives he has.

[OlgaH]

Wayne was just too naive, kind and tolerant towards her behavior, indeed love is blind... Such men as Wayne are easy prey for women - parasites and predators. That's really sad. 

[Doll]

Any takers to this question?

Nobody can answer it till we know her reasons to go.

[OlgaH]

Nobody can answer it till we know her reasons to go.

We also haven't yet heard your husband's version, why he wanting a divorce with you and even locked you out, changed his decision after conversation with you, especially when you were so clear about your idea of DVC machine here    

[Doll]

the only question is who will be responsible for paying the debt owed.

You have 12 guesses and the first 11 don't count
 

[Doll]

We also haven't yet heard your husband's version, why he wanting a divorce with you and even locked you out, changed his decision after conversation with you, especially when you were so clear about your idea of DVC machine here    

You do not need to hear his versions - I don't ask any questions. Also you are selectively comprehensive- I did say it was my fault.
As for DVC machine - I generalized and this generalization is fair. It is so fair that 99% of Wayne defenders (you included) screamed "jail" right away- go and read 50 pages over.
One more time- I do NOT need anybody (especially you) question or believe what I wrote. Did I make it clear enough?

[Doll]

why he wanting

he IS not wanting it unless you were going to use past tense   

[felix8787]

Nobody can answer it till we know her reasons to go.

Why don't you go back and read the question, comprehend it, then answer it.

[OlgaH]

You do not need to hear his versions - I don't ask any questions. Also you are selectively comprehensive- I did say it was my fault.
As for DVC machine - I generalized and this generalization is fair. It is so fair that 99% of Wayne defenders (you included) screamed "jail" right away- go and read 50 pages over.
One more time- I do NOT need anybody (especially you) question or believe what I wrote. Did I make it clear enough?

Yes, Doll I selectively have chosen the same position towards you that you have taken towards Wayne's story    and now your tell that you don't need it 

You can justify your statement about DVC machine as your fair generalization, but we still don't know if it was fair towards your husband 

[Doll]

Why don't you go back and read the question, comprehend it, then answer it.

Let's say that "O" was here already and had her GC. "Would she of ever married Wayne?"  

Is your question if she would have married Wayne regardless GC? Or I didn't get it?
What is " of ever"?

[Doll]

Yes, Doll I selectively have chosen the same position towards you that you have taken towards Wayne's story  Grin  and now your tell that you don't need it   

I am really tired ! 
Olga, the topic is about Wayne and people are trying to help him, he has an ongoing situation. He asks questions and asks for help which I understand.
I don't ask for anything , just comment on DV.
As for your virtues or the lack of those we also can ONLY judge from your version and not from your ex's.
Not so?
I do understand your "selectively   chosen  position", it doesn't bother me at all.
Keep going.

[William3rd]

:ROFL:AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Doll]

:ROFL:AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It IS funny!
 :hipdude: