Wife split!

[Misha]

OlgaH? (The stalwart defender of poor oppressed American Men?) LOL.

(Guys, please don't get offended, I personally luv AM, I just can't stand the wining losers of the species. Sorry.)

I believe you mean the whining losers. No, Wayne's wife. She has a daughter who was presumably the result of a failed relationship.

[OlgaH]

OlgaH? (The stalwart defender of poor oppressed American Men?) LOL.

And what about OlgaH (a not stalwart defender of GCG and parasitic style of life)?   

How peculiar for a gal to unquestioningly believe a guy bad-mouthing his newly minted ex, a guy with a history of failed RW relationship at that.

Russiangirl,

Right now I don't have any reason not to believe Wayne because I know how some RW can use men who love them and  be very egoistic and lowdown towards men who love them. And Wayne's story is not so new... neither in US nor in Russia.  Bad-mouthing guy? Not Wayne, he just gives his facts of his relationship    Hope some guys reading Wayne's story will be more cautious 

I would not say Wayne has a history of failed RW relationship.  just because his previous RW was honest with him - she did not like something about  his home or him or whatever and she did not marry him and stay with him for the GC     

[OlgaH]

Well, she does have at least one failed relationship behind her as well

At least she has two failed relationships behind her including Wayne 

[Gator]

For those puzzled by the lack of sex, please recall that Wayne has given some clues about his wife when he wrote:

From my experience, if a girl is willing to have sex right away when she does not really know you, and agrees to go to another city with you, these are all very bad signs.

 

He later admitted that this and some other clues pertained to his wife (not religious, from a large city, not devoted to him, etc.)

[felix8787]

How peculiar for a gal to unquestioningly believe a guy bad-mouthing his newly minted ex, a guy with a history of failed RW relationship at that.

All we know for sure is their marriage has ended. "Кто виноват" (who's at fault) cannot be so easily determined, IMO.

When did Wayne bad-mouth his newly minted ex?

[ScottinCrimea]

Where did you get the info about blackmail?   Was Doll so stupid to admit to it herself?   

Here are some quotes by Doll on this thread relating to her marriage.  You can decide for yourself.


So the wife who understands it (they all do) will never leave the husband if he is a decent man. See- I didn't say "love" or "beloved", I said "decent"- caring, providing etc

Hire the attorney and kick her out of the country. Just watch, guys, how much it would cost him and how fast he is going to loose his money

Speaking of sex- nobody has to have it in marriage.
  
BAck to the wife who didn't want sex- she ( as well as a man) is free to not have it.

I do understand his intentions, just think that she also understands that annulment is her ticket out and she will fight.She will fight no matter what which is not saving money, no way. They need the agreement.
Or- OK- let him go for annulment and then watch.

It will happen if he goes for the annulment. She will have NO CHOICE. Do you understand how a person can act if this person has no choices? This person will have to "get through the wall" (the wall will have to be ruined)

I once was helping a woman whose husband wanted an annulment. Her situation was much worse- no GC at all. She hired the attorney and they (we) won.
 Oxana will do same and it will be easier for her in her situation

BTW 5 years ago on the forum like this one I got a consultation from an attorney and most of his advises were "don't". I followed them and I am where I am.

Then you don't remember the situation     He never filed for divorce and never sent us back.
Too much credit to me- I could do it and was going to. Then we talked and tried to solve the problem. It worked.
So, what exactly were you planning on doing?

File DVC that we were subjected to. Talked to the attorney and before I did something I talked to my husband.

Quote from: Misha on November 03, 2008, 05:29:23 PM
If you were subjected to DVC, why would you stay?
Because I thought it was a misunderstanding that happens in almost every marriage. We talked, came to the agreement and went on.
I listened to him, he listened to me and we merged.

We were in Russia on a visit and my husband wanted to get the divorce.
That's why I know what change of locks can do  etc.
What he did or was going to do just served me right. Could serve. He followed his attorney's advises and the attorney made more than one mistake.

What could I do illegally? Everything is legal. If I did each and every thing according to law he would be screwed. This DVC machine needs to just be started then it won't stop.

Since then I've never had credit cards on both names and charged my card to buy tickets. A lot of preventive measures   .
 
Speaking of locks- his choice was to give me the keys or meet the cop at the door step. This is what Wayne's wife did. He also wanted to keep the car away but same common sense said NO
  
Needless to say all the accounts, the credit card AND the new car are  on my name solely now.
And this is less than a half of all I did and am doing.

Quite simple: when you get the bill at the end of the month, do you pay the bill out of your account, with money that you earned and put into the account? Quite a simple concept  
Hon, I know how it works very well- I never say "pay for card", I say "pay the bill"
Doll,

you husband wanted the divorce and even in such case you decided to stay with him... For the sake of what ?
I had my own reasons which I am not going to talk about.

And, guys, back to poor Wayne. What I mostly mean is that I know what a woman can do and how.
So forget your dreams about canceling her GC or deporting her unless you have 5-7 thousand that you don't need.
 
Girls, AM fear anything that has something to do with laws  . So it is enough to just mention attorneys and laws.
Don't beat me, boys!
  
Every AM knows about DVC machine and it is just enough to drop hints about DVC and how his life can be screwed...
so?

If there is another man then it makes sense but mostly you can count on yourself only. Men are not reliable what comes to an uncertain status and taking care of the kid. It IS close to a suicide, guys. To stay in a family with a husband is preferable

Misha either you are so naive or you don't understand what it is- to be an immigrant with a kid. It is very scary, friend.

To trade "this" for "that" you need to be sure "that" will take care of everything- immigration process (more complicated than in marriage), of you and your kid.Many things to be considered - more than you think.
GC itself doesn't give you food.

I do not understand why you would be following a lawyer's advice if you talked about and resolved things?  
I would if I didn't.

Spending money is often a problem in A-R families.Many wives (me too) are sure husbands have to provide them -buying whatever they want as there is no tomorrow. Then they settle down if they come to   the agreement. What agreement- it depends. There are many problems that occur the first year and they way people solve them is the way their marriage is and will be. Also sex, also kids (her kids and how they are treated by her husband). And many other things, D. We call it MERGE. Both need to merge.

Oh, this I don't know! I can only speak for myself.Being friends is a good thing for AM and her kids.There is often a problem when AM has the kids from his previous marriage. This is our problem.

How do your children act towards him?
My son is good when my husband is good   , when the step father is not so good- the boy just stays away from him.I am lucky- my son is a very calm kid, also smart

[OlgaH]

For those puzzled by the lack of sex, please recall that Wayne has given some clues about his wife when he wrote:
 

He later admitted that this and some other clues pertained to his wife (not religious, from a large city, not devoted to him, etc.)

BTW In general he gave not bad advice 

I made many mistakes in my pursuits.  Now, I can say you should not stick with any girl who does not seem totally devoted to you.  You may win her back, so to seem, but only to the extent that she will use you. 

If you go to Ukraine to live, as you said, you will have a chance to meet many girls.  I would suggest you go to some of the smaller cities to look. 

I do not know if you believe in God, but my advise would be to look for a girl who does and goes to church.  When you start raising children, it helps. 

From my experience, if a girl is willing to have sex right away when she does not really know you, and agrees to go to another city with you, these are all very bad signs.  If you are just looking to party, then this type of girl is OK.  But if you are looking for a future life, look for someone else.

[Ooooops]

Here are some quotes by Doll on this thread relating to her marriage.  You can decide for yourself.

Wow, it's a lot of incriminating evidence!      Not very smart at all...   

[OlgaH]

Wow, it's a lot of incriminating evidence!      Not very smart at all...   

Especially in case when somebody uses her position of distrust, doubts and suspicions towards her   

[felix8787]

Wow ScottinCrimea LOL
Back on pg 21 when I made my first post on this thread, I made a very big post similar to this, questioning a lot of her post and the logic behind Doll's post.

[BC]

Wow ScottinCrimea LOL
Back on pg 21 when I made my first post on this thread, I made a very big post similar to this, questioning a lot of her post and the logic behind Doll's post.

Like we can really figure out what's going on in a womans head.. an impossible task since man first walked the earth.

The 'jist' I get from Doll's posts is that she went into a relationship, encountered some difficult problems and somehow found ways to resolve them.

If she is happy and he is happy with their marriage, no skin off my back.

[felix8787]

If she is happy and he is happy with their marriage, no skin off my back.

And I agree with you on this bc, happy thanksgiving!

[Misha]

Some other Doll quotes:

Listen, the main reason why RW leave their country IS economy, next is (MAYBE!) the want to have a husband. The first being economy anyway.

Guys, chill down- my husband made half of it when we got married.
And yes- my posts in this thread are based on money because Canadian was talking of some comfortable life and he asked questions. Know nothing about the happiness in his future family.
As for my loving money talks- go and read RW forum on this subject where the brides still in Russia ask these very questions. And they get the answers.

There is a big difference between comfortable life (with love and lakes) with 40K and 150K. Not so?

I came to marry a guy who like he said lived in the middle of nowhere and this is true- we live in the woods. It is OK for me as I had the car right away, I got enough money to spend on me and my son. There were some restrictions but they were reasonable for me.
Income exceeding expenses- how much? Will it exceed the expenses when a woman is here? Will she be able to shop ? Will she have a car? Vacations?
There is a big difference if it is 40K a year or 150K.

From what I have gathered, Doll's main criteria when defining a good husband is financial.

[Misha]

Like we can really figure out what's going on in a womans head.. an impossible task since man first walked the earth.

No, it is quite an easy task if you actually take the time to listen to what they say.

[groovlstk]

But what he did was canceling the credit card. So what I always recommend to women is to get their own credit cards as soon as possible. Also the tickets could be canceled. Since then I've never had credit cards on both names and charged my card to buy tickets. A lot of preventive measures  .

All rancor and taking positions aside, I hope that you still don't have to make sure to buy your own airline tix when traveling home just to have peace of mind that someone isn't trying to strand you in Russia I can't imagine ever breaking such a trust with my wife and putting that kind of stress and uncertainty on her.

[felix8787]

No, it is quite an easy task if you actually take the time to listen to what they say.

Thats what I was doing and questioned her post and yes to me it seems like Doll's biggest motivator for a happy family is financially.

[BC]

Thats what I was doing and questioned her post and yes to me it seems like Doll's biggest motivator for a happy family is financially.

In the end felix, she is right, and this is a make it or break it part of the decision to marry.

Even I would not have married if there was not enough financial substance to base starting a family together.  I had to weigh the eventual costs heavily before taking that very serious step of proposing.

This is probably the single biggest difference between dating internationally and dating at home.

The woman at home will figure out your status fairly quickly and has the ability to relate the conditions to her 'baseline interests'.  Most couples in the US I know were self supporting before they married..  certainly not the case here.

The foreign woman knows little or nothing when she gets off the plane and is quite 'stuck' with whatever happens.

First date to CheckMate with little inbetween.

OTOH there are plenty of guys that overreach their financial situation chasing RW.. the old 'doctor dentist lawyer' syndrome, sitting in front of that fascinating screen thinking about retirement after she gets here..

Messy messy..

[Russiangirl]

  Bad-mouthing guy? Not Wayne, he just gives his facts of his relationship   

How do you know? Seriously, how do you know he "just gives facts"?

People after break-up are prone to lie, whine, exaggerate, and most importantly OMIT their own wrong doings.

A woman who came to a foreign country with her child, who traveled thousands of miles in search of better life - and "better life" for a RW certainly implies looking for personal happiness with a loving husband - would NOT generally abandon it all, leave the marital bed next morning, and throw caution to the wind as Wayne's wife supposedly did.

I don't believe it. I'm not saying it's impossible, but in general, I find it rather improbable that a woman with a child would behave in such a manner, without provocation.

Maybe she did behave exactly like he said without any fault of his own (although I doubt it, it takes two to tango, LOL), maybe she didn't.

I just find it very peculiar that you - a woman - do not get that. The question - what did HE do - never enters your mind. Weird. **shrug**

Anyway, Happy Turkey Day, y'all! 

[OlgaH]

The foreign woman knows little or nothing when she gets off the plane and is quite 'stuck' with whatever happens.

While men think that RW are so kind, trustful, naive and so on  there always will be GC stories   

[OlgaH]

How do you know? Seriously, how do you know he "just gives facts"?

A woman who came to a foreign country with her child, who traveled thousands of miles in search of better life - and "better life" for a RW certainly implies looking for personal happiness with a loving husband - would NOT generally abandon it all, leave the marital bed next morning, and throw caution to the wind as Wayne's wife supposedly did.

I just find it very peculiar that you - a woman - do not get that. The question - what did HE do - never enters your mind. Weird. **shrug**

Anyway, Happy Turkey Day, y'all! 

How I know... I already explained my position about it.

It is not rare in Russia and in other countries when women use their children as a mean and cover for their selfish ends  btw very often using a phrase "I just want the better life for my child/children".  As I'm a Russian women who was born in Russia and have been living among Russians I know that and get that 

 Happy Thanksgiving to you and everyone else.

[Gator]

Thats what I was doing and questioned her post and yes to me it seems like Doll's biggest motivator for a happy family is financially.

There are all types of RW.  While Doll is no angel, she is not as bad as some of you are painting her.   Much of the objection that men voice about Doll may rest in the style in which she expresses her opinion.  A spin artist could take Doll's words and make her seem not as harsh, although the mentality remains the same.

My guess is that Doll's primary motivation is not money.  Rather it is security and stability.  I have seen this in many RW in their 30s, especially those who have had to provide for their children with minimal support from anyone.   IMO, you will not see it in young RW, who do not have children and who grew up in a happy, functional family.  I do not think an AM can readily grasp the stress that some of these women have endured nor comprehend how it has affected them.   

They have a survivor instinct, and Doll manifests what I have seen in others.  They are skeptical and do not readily trust.   They think the way Doll has expressed in this thread because they are concerned with protecting themselves.

How important is money to them?  Such a woman does not necessarily push her man to buy, buy, buy expensive stuff for her.  In fact, some of these RW can be very frugal, a deep habit developed in bad times.   Only part of the security/stability equation deals with money.  Much depends upon the man's confidence and how he instills in her the belief that everything will be all right.

A man's generosity is also important.  A generous, average man is more desirable than a greedy, rich man.  If she is a good mother, the man's attitude towards her children is more important than the money he makes.  Doll has revealed some of these attributes about her husband.  

The RW who values money more than anything is probably very beautiful and has been spoiled by RM who gave her a lot of pretty presents when she was their temporary girlfriend.  They will demand from an American date, "Buy me a gift."  "Why?"  "Because I am beautiful."  I don't think this is Doll's sentiment.

So when a man looks around Russia ans Ukraine, and finds a real sweetheart who has experienced a stressful life, he has found a winner.  Be good to her and take care of her without letting her walk over you.  Before marrying her, just make sure she is truly happy when spending time with you, is committed to the relationship, has goals aligned with yours, and expresses sincere devotion to you as well as to her children.

[Misha]

The RW who values money more than anything is probably very beautiful and has been spoiled by RM who gave her a lot of pretty presents when she was their temporary girlfriend.  

Well, a Russian man who is well off is not likely to marry such women: he will "sponsor" her. Also, a very financially successful (or even less than financially successful) Russian man, is not likely to marry a woman with children either.

[Maxx2]

A woman who came to a foreign country with her child, who traveled thousands of miles in search of better life - and "better life" for a RW certainly implies looking for personal happiness with a loving husband - would NOT generally abandon it all, leave the marital bed next morning, and throw caution to the wind as Wayne's wife supposedly did.

I don't believe it. I'm not saying it's impossible, but in general, I find it rather improbable that a woman with a child would behave in such a manner, without provocation.

These women know about the safety net called Social Services. They also have a safety net of "friends" who have men who would make good candidates as next husbands or someone they can live with.

Wayne's wife moving the next day to another room is not uncommon. They do this humiliate their husbands. GCG love to psychologically torture their victims. The GCG generally hates their victim and have a need to punish them for being fooled by them. In their mind it is like

   "How dare you think I could love and find you attractive? You are an idiot. I am going to punish you for all those times I had to pretend having sex with you was enjoyable. How could you be so stupid? I am superior to you in all ways. I will punish you for taking              advantage of me with your  offer of a better life. So I will take from you as much as I can get. I need the money. AND I will take from you your foolish "goodness" and belief in your self and blacken your name with "ABUSER!". And why shouldn't I? You need to be punish for being stupid and falling for my lies. Stupid man. Now that I am here I can get my better life but with a man I want."

William is right, these women are criminals.


Maxx    

[Misha]

t is not rare in Russia and in other countries when women use their children as a mean and cover for their selfish ends  btw very often using a phrase "I just want the better life for my child/children".  As I'm a Russian women who was born in Russia and have been living among Russians I know that and get that 

Here, I agree completely with what Olga has written. As I have noted before, a woman does not become a saint just because she had a child.

[Russiangirl]

How I know... I already explained my position about it.
 

I don't have any reason not to believe Wayne because I know how some  RW can use men who love them and  be very egoistic and lowdown towards men who love them.
 

You mean the above "explanation"? It sounds like "я не такая, я жду трамвая", ЛОЛ.

What about some AM who maybe a**holes? It just boggles my mind that you would automatically take Wayne at his word and talk at length about all the "lowlife" RW you know, without mentioning the possibility that sometimes it's the man who is the problem.

Sorry, hon, for being blunt. But it seems to me you're trying very hard to pursuade your current husband (and perhaps future possible prospects from this board - although not the best place to look, LMAO) that unlike all those other horrible RW you're NOT a GCG.

Do you really hope to earn browny points by jumping on the bandwagon of crusifying an unkown to you RW because "some" of them may be "baaaaad"? I have to wonder, who are you trying to impress, LOL? Certainly not any guy of even an average intelligence.

Oh, wait... Perhaps I'm overestimating guys' intelligence when it comes to seeing through the yarn we spin... LMAO. Good hunting, подруга. :evil: