Mysterious Russian girl at my gym

[Link]

Batting cages??? That would equate to her taking you on a date to Niemans shoe department. C'mon man take her out to a nice meal and some salsa dancing.

What are batting cages?

[Maxx2]

 
   She sounds like a psycho stalker. Avoid strange women like the plague. The strangeness in them is just the tip of the iceberg.
   This strangeness goes much much deeper. You do not want to see the rest. Go rent "Fatal Attraction" and the "Titanic".



 Maxx

[Mishenka]

This thread is goofy.  The women is most likely married and not interested. You look at her, she looks back, you catch her eye, she caught you looking, it's typical in a gym. Is she really following or you just wish she was?  Time to stop living in a fantasy and drop it (reality check) Russian women are looking for a man who is a serious leader. A man sincere in his actions. Your actions are foreign to her. She is not interested, she is ammused. Again she is most likely taken. The ice cold actions are her signal to stay away. If she was interested she would show it. She is not.

[Lily]

This thread is goofy.  The women is most likely married and not interested. 

Again she is most likely taken. The ice cold actions are her signal to stay away. If she was interested she would show it. She is not.

Mishenka, many women also are not that skilled in relations with men, and may not understand that he might be interested. Why do you presume she is not, if she never gave a definite answer in words? or at least a few very apparent signs of disinterest?

What I see from the situation is a normal social behavior on her side, IMHO. What the men call 'ice cold' may just mean 'polite and socially acceptable' for women.  Not a hint of her disinterest.

[Maxx2]

Waiting for him out in the parking lot seems more that just strange. 

[Misha]

Waiting for him out in the parking lot seems more that just strange. 

Well, she does seem to be very infatuated with a clueless guy who can't seem to be able to ask her out on a normal date. How hard can it be when a woman is clearly into you? How about simply asking her if she wants to go for a coffee or grab a bite to eat after the workout. Then, he can practice that odd behavior humans call "talking." In a nice quiet locale (i.e. not a gym) he can ask her more about herself, including checking to see that she is not married. Once he talks to her (and by that I mean more than 20 seconds at the gym), he can actually find out more about her and the mystery will invariably disappear.

[William3rd]

if she goes anywhere with him, she aint very married. . . . . that should be disclosed when he asks her to go somewhere. . . . if indeed he ever asks at all

[Mishenka]

Mishenka, many women also are not that skilled in relations with men, and may not understand that he might be interested. Why do you presume she is not, if she never gave a definite answer in words? or at least a few very apparent signs of disinterest?

What I see from the situation is a normal social behavior on her side, IMHO. What the men call 'ice cold' may just mean 'polite and socially acceptable' for women.  Not a hint of her disinterest.

Lily, you make a good point, I agree in some cases. She may be shy and didn't know how to respond in the first point of contact. On the other hand she is amused and playing with him a little thinking there is no harm in that.  Everyone checks each other out in the gym, thats the main reason people workout there rather than at home. The view is much better!  In this case they had plenty of time to observe each other. Clearly he was attracted, we don't know about her level of interst.

I know from observing Galina that most RW who are married or in a serious relationship would not instigate or even answer a conversation with a man she doesn't know outside of a "professional or official" situation. From my experience RW are very warm, caring, sensual and have extra sensory preception ( ESP) when it comes to reading body language. (reading between the lines)The woman could read him from a distance before he spoke a word. We all size each other up.  I'm sure you know what I mean. Usually we are wrong to read a book by its cover. Even after observing each other for months, she would hardly return an advance, only ignore it which is how this woman reacted. If she was single, available, and interested she would show it by her actions. She chose her first words carefully and spoke clearly.  She abruptly said  "I don't have time for that". In other words, "I'm not interested".  If she was interested she would make time. She seems to have time for salsa dancing, yes? Then down the road as time passes we have the "salsa dancing" idea and she shows a little interest, to be nice. It leads to nowhere. OK so she is having a better day and decides to give 30 seconds of her precious time to give the man a thrill.  Still I see no actions that show interest.  When I approach RW for the first time I find them warm, friendly and willing to talk a while on first contact. Within minutes I feel comfortable with them. I don't quite get the "ice cold" expression here. I would understand it if the term was used after a breakup in a long term relationship. In many cases after ending relationships with RW I never heard from them again. Only in one serious relationship did we remain friends.

From what I have learned from my time spent with RW, they look for substance not words. Be serious, don't talk about going out someday in the future, ask them out right now, with a firm date, time and place. Don't talk about sending flowers, just send them. Don't talk about doing this or that in the future, just do it. Words are empty. A road is paved with good intentions will not impress a RW, only your actions will make a lasting impression.

Examples of ESP in my relationship: I can be on the phone or writing in a chat window to Galina and she feels my mood. I can say words that express one thing and she will ask me why I'm sad, telling me how she feels my mood. She is right 100% of the time no matter how hard I try to act. Many times we speak the same words at the same time, in person or on the phone and in chat.  RW love to talk and love when a man is attentive and actually listens to her. This might be the most important factor in the relationship from beginning to end. She knows your interest level by how much you listen and keep the conversation on topic. Now, the reason I say all this is, for the OP here to get anywhere with any woman, he first needs to talk about her first and not himself. After he gains a few points here she is willing to listen to him ask her out, and might even say yes.  If anyone talks to much about themselves or their ex are not likely to get a second chance. Keep your RW the center of your life and conversations and you will do well. Do the things that make her feel important and she will be yours. I have learned to Put Galina first and she treats me with the utmost respect by putting me first.

OK, thats enough said. Best of luck to the OP.
Mishenka

[ScottinCrimea]

From what I have learned from my time spent with RW, they look for substance not words. Be serious, don't talk about going out someday in the future, ask them out right now, with a firm date, time and place. Don't talk about sending flowers, just send them. Don't talk about doing this or that in the future, just do it. Words are empty. A road is paved with good intentions will not impress a RW, only your actions will make a lasting impression.

This is a very important note that those new to this endeavor need to understand.  Maybe it's because they've had too much talk with no action from their governments, but they don't want to hear what you WILL do, or how things WILL be in the future.  They just don't seem to care much for promises.  They want to see the results and the substance.  For example, I never tell my wife I am planning on buying something for her.  She first hears about it when I have it in hand.  One shouldn't take offense and question her trust in you as that's not the issue.

[Mishenka]

This is a very important note that those new to this endeavor need to understand.  Maybe it's because they've had too much talk with no action from their governments, but they don't want to hear what you WILL do, or how things WILL be in the future.  They just don't seem to care much for promises.  They want to see the results and the substance.  For example, I never tell my wife I am planning on buying something for her.  She first hears about it when I have it in hand.  One shouldn't take offense and question her trust in you as that's not the issue.

This is very wise Scott, I had to learn this the hard way during this financial crisis. 
Simply put, what woman wants to hear empty words?
Like the old NIKE commercials, " just do it!" 
Mishenka

[William3rd]

Hey- Guess what?!?!?!?!?

The guy who started this thread has not been back in two weeks. . . . .

I guess you guys can keep standing around talking to yourselves but I am out of here

[SANDRO43]

Hey- Guess what?!?!?!?!? The guy who started this thread has not been back in two weeks . . . I guess you guys can keep standing around talking to yourselves

It doesn't seem the only thread where that is happening . OPs shy away often these days, fragile creatures that they are .

[wxman]

The OP listened to all the advice, and they either hit it off in the batting cage while doing a salsa dance, and they are now madly in love planning their wedding, or she hit him over the head with a barbell at the gym, and he still hasn't been released from the hospital. 

[Bruce]

I just hope reading the advice helped this guy grow some and ask her out already.  Best to ask and find out then to wonder what if..............in perpetuity!

[mies]

Waiting for him out in the parking lot seems more that just strange. 

why?

If i'm into guy, the options are:
1) wait until he will talk to me (as we know the OP failed to do so on so many occasions)

2) talk to him first (OP has been sending ambiguous signals - i would not talk first to such guy - too high chances he's rude weirdo)

3) give hints you are available - use "i was just passing by" tactics hoping he'd make a first move

Since when the 2) and 3) became indication of a "strangeness" of a woman?