Why do Russian women prefer Western men?

[Vaughn]

Well, because Russian women . . .

• ARE DISSATISFIED WITH RUSSIAN MEN!

Many Russian women feel that Russian men lack the ambition to provide a stable, responsible, safe, and loving environment for their families. Russian women feel that they consistently take second place to their partner's social interests. Widespread and socially irresponsible drinking among Russian men is yet another common dilemma for Russian ladies.

• OUTNUMBER "ELIGIBLE" RUSSIAN BACHELORS 4:1!

  According to a recent FOX television news program (A Current Affair), Russian women currently outnumber "eligible" Russian bachelors by a whopping 4 to 1! Therefore, each lovely lady may be competing with at least ten of her girlfriends for those few Russian men who do not demonstrate the traditional bad habits!

• BELIEVE IN FATE!

  Most Russian women share a strong belief in the ancient myth that describes how each human soul was divided into two parts and scattered about the globe by an angered God. According to mythology, one half resides within her, while the other half dwells within a man in a far off land. As legend has it, if ever these soul mates should meet, they will form an unbreakable bond, resulting in the perfect match!

• HAVE TRADITIONAL VALUES

  How would you describe a woman who practices traditional values? Would she be a stay-at-home mom who cooks, cleans, and cares for the children? While it's wrong to assume that all Russian women are content taking on the role mentioned above, many have preserved these traditional values. Having been raised in homes that encourage strong family ties, where qualities such as generosity and sincerity are impressed at a young age, Russian women will stop at nothing to help their family members during times of need. This makes for a women who is unwavering in the level of support she is willing to provide for her family.

[Doll]

Most Russian women share a strong belief in the ancient myth that describes how each human soul was divided into two parts and scattered about the globe by an angered God. According to mythology, one half resides within her, while the other half dwells within a man in a far off land. As legend has it, if ever these soul mates should meet, they will form an unbreakable bond, resulting in the perfect match!

Which has nothing to do with men being Western or not.

[OlgaH]

• BELIEVE IN FATE!

  Most Russian women share a strong belief in the ancient myth that describes how each human soul was divided into two parts and scattered about the globe by an angered God. According to mythology, one half resides within her, while the other half dwells within a man in a far off land. As legend has it, if ever these soul mates should meet, they will form an unbreakable bond, resulting in the perfect match!

Exactly! But I'm not talking for most RW, just for myself  Also I believe in The Babylon Tower. God scattered the soul's parts about the globe only after The Babylon Tower. People were upset with that God's trick about soul and started to built a tower to have a "face to face" talk with God. Finally people again pissed God off and He gave each person a different language... and scattered the parts throughout the earth. 

[Vaughn]

Doll and Olga,

  Of the four items in the original post, I thought the one involving Fate was the most
outlandish of all.....I DO recall one of my wife's earliest letters to me, mentioning that
"perhaps fate has brought us together" - but little if anything about Fate has been
discussed between us since - and that's been over seven years. We're too busy
enjoying our marriage to spend much time dwelling in philosophy.

  The list comes verbatim from one online agency - to lure and attract customers, with
the main target - Westerners.  My hope in posting it was to make just one (or more)
newcomers here think twice before they buy into the marketing of FSU ladies.

  The dissatisfaction with Russian men and the 4:1 ratio, in my opinon only, are
total fallacy. "Traditional values" - as perceived by whom? And how do these
values clash with the RMs' "traditional bad habits?"

Perhaps there IS a hint of truth to the Fate claim - maybe I should post a poll on Anti-Date?

[roykirk]

Although, my fiancee gave #1 as her primary reason for seeking a foreign man (she wasn't necessarily looking for just an AM) when I asked her, and she still stands by that to this day.  She said she found most RM unsuitable for dating, and often criticized that many of them had drinking problems, weren't polite, and weren't "worldly" enough for her.  The "traditional" values one is funny.  My girlfriend is definitely professionally oriented, and she's often critical of women who want to just stay home and says it's an "old fashioned mentality." 

[catzenmouse]

Gosh! I thought it was because we were all so manly, handsome, and the perfect husbands. 

Agencies are just like any other sales related business. "Tell them what they want to hear and they will believe it!" Maybe if Billy Banks (I think that is his name - you know, the super annoying TV salesman) promotes it this will be a hot item. "But wait! There's more! Buy in the next 10 minutes and we'll include a second RW in your order! Just pay for shipping and handling.

If RWD can help a single person avoid the lies and misconceptions promoted by agencies and their owners it will be well worth the time we've spent posting here.

FWIW

[Mila]

Well, i agree with some of the answers to this question, but to my mind the main reason is that RW want to have better life for their family and they want to be sure that their kids will have future. To my mind, this is the reason number 1! It is my own point of view, but many men many minds

[groovlstk]

I've come full circle on this and believe it's mostly agency hype that Western men are all too willing to believe. IMHO the truth is more closely related to economic opportunities but this truth is less palatable to most guys. I see it most clearly in evidence through the RW living in the US whom I dated before I met my wife and in our single Russian friends living here. Almost all clearly prefer dating Russian men once the economic playing field is level.

[GoodOlBoy]

IMHO the truth is more closely related to economic opportunities but this truth is less palatable to most guys.

This quote may set off a firestorm of controversy, but I agree COMPLETELY with Groovlstk.

I live in an area with MANY RW/UW and some are divorced from AM. They have told me, several times, that they only wished they could find a Russian Man (RM), here in Miami to marry.

My wife told me years ago that she loved me, BUT, love is only love. If I had brought her to the good ole' USA and I lived in a ghetto....she would have been on the next plane back to Siberia.

RW/UW do not come here to live in a "lesser" economic situation than the one they left back home....NO WAY.

[roykirk]

This quote may set off a firestorm of controversy, but I agree COMPLETELY with Groovlstk.

I live in an area with MANY RW/UW and some are divorced from AM. They have told me, several times, that they only wished they could find a Russian Man (RM), here in Miami to marry.

My wife told me years ago that she loved me, BUT, love is only love. If I had brought her to the good ole' USA and I lived in a ghetto....she would have been on the next plane back to Siberia.

RW/UW do not come here to live in a "lesser" economic situation than the one they left back home....NO WAY.

I would disagree with that sentiment, because while it's probably true for many of the women who come here, I doubt it's all of them.  That's basically like saying the primary reason RW come here is because of money.

My fiancee is from a city of over a million people.  I currently live in a town of 3,000 people.  She told me she would prefer to live in a larger city here, and when she visited my town she thought it was cute and clean but with not much to do.  However, in the end she told me she didn't really care if we lived in a city of 1 million people or 1,000, all she cared about was that we were together.  If I had met a woman who even gave me the slightest impression she'd be on a plane home if we hit hard economic times, I'd never ask her to marry me.

[Sculpto]

I am not sure this preference actually exists. 

I think there are simply two kinds of relationships that result in FSUWs coming west.. economic/futurer improvements and the more rare "true love".  Thats it.. nothing more nothing less.

[kievstar]

The two girls I have dated over 3 months both want to live in Ukraine.  They also like Ukraine men.  But felt by using many methods to meet men they would find their true love faster. 

A girl who says Ukraine men are bad usually has something wrong with them.  Most Ukraine men are decent guys.  Some women want to come to the USA as they can find better work there and know they have to pretend to like a man and than divorce them later when finished with school. 

Very few women in Ukraine have any interest in foreign men unless the foreign man will live in Ukraine.

[mrs.Shadow]

I myself was not looking specially for western man. But yes I sent my profile at international agency. Why? Well, it was very difficult (and for most Russian women it is still) to find a man in Russia with the salary higher then Russian women's. What it means? It means, that Russian women should waste more time on job then on her own family, getting tired everyday from home work and job. While woman is woman and she wants to spend more time for home and house.
The other reason - my Moscow apartments, so I was a "good bride" for those who wanted Moscow property. Of cos I wanted to find a man who was not interested in my apartments but wanted to create a happy family together.
So as my director suggested - to try to look for my future not only in Moscow. 

Most Russian women share a strong belief in the ancient myth that describes how each human soul was divided into two parts and scattered about the globe by an angered God. According to mythology, one half resides within her, while the other half dwells within a man in a far off land. As legend has it, if ever these soul mates should meet, they will form an unbreakable bond, resulting in the perfect match!

Never heard about such "traditional Russian faith"...   

Why do Russian women prefer Western men?

1. He has money, he hunts Russian women, so she can abuse it to get money for her, her family and probably boyfriend
2. She wants to get a citizenship to become an American (after that she just calls to police and gets rid of husband)
3. She heard that life is much easier in USA, cos of Laws, which you can use for yourself as much as you want (aka law abuse)
4. She cannot find a man of her dreams in Russia and sends profile to international agency (she does not know where "to look for" a man = on the street? at the bar? at work?)
5. She saw Hollywood movies and thinks that America is right what movies show (usually after arriving to USA gets shocked)

I tried to post the main "reasons"... Probably most are very negative, but this is what I think. I also visited the UK forum of Russian women and I was happy to see many girls who found their UK men by point num 4 (She cannot find a man of her dreams in Russia and sends profile to international agency)

[Misha]

4. She cannot find a man of her dreams in Russia and sends profile to international agency (she does not know where "to look for" a man = on the street? at the bar? at work?)

I did not find my wife via an agency. However, my wife had some pretty definite traits in what she wanted in a man. She even went down to the Russian Orthodox Church before me to pray for diving intervention. She asked all the saints to help her find a husband and she had a list of traits she wanted: very intelligent, kind, tall, etc... The one trait she did not specify in her prayer was rich or with a lot of money. We met a few months later, and I fit what she wanted in a man. Presumably, if she had met a local man who came close to what she wanted, she would be with him.

[Lily]

I could tell why I personally prefer Western men.

First, it does not have anything to do with economic conditions, and with my wish to live in the West. Wishing to live in the West is one thing, wishing to have a man of my own is another thing. These things do not necessarily come together for me. Attraction counts, so I will talk about personal attraction only.

The WM are just more appealing for me. WM are people who grow up under normal conditions, whereas RM grew up under abnormal conditions. This can be seen on RM faces, virtually. Hardship, deprivation, denigration may have taken their toll. This made a negative impact on their personality. WM however generally look happy. They seem to lead a satisfying, pleasant, comfortable life. They are open, easy and optimistic, as least they seem to be like this.

Russian men don’t smile. They use to wear super sober, even grumpy faces. My female instincts don’t like it at all. I have seen and had enough soberness. I want to enjoy life. Therefore, I'd naturally be attracted by people who enjoy their life.

I have written it somewhere already - Russian men look like life has been beaten out of them.

Another big advantage of Western men over the Russian ones would be that even in their 40s and 50s, WM seem to hardly lose in quality. Many even gain. With the time Russian men quickly and drastically loose in quality. This is especially to notice at high school meetings. For instance, I could barely recognize my former classmates after 15-20 years from graduation. Where are all their sparks and laughs gone? Sad, meaningless eyes, desinterested faces.

Last but not least, the trait that I personally like in WM is their mentality. I appreciate their being resonable and considerate, not reckless like some RM. Democracy and perhaps protestantism foster accuracy and moderateness, equally respectful treatment for everyone irrespectively of his/her position and wealth. Russian society has a long way to go in order to achieve at least a fraction of this mentality.

Of note, speaking about WM who I have seen, I could only speak about middle class professionals, the people who earn their living using their skills and education. I cannot tell anything about the upper class or working class people.

There is however one thing where a Russian man would be preferred, I mean communication. When I talk in Russian language to a Russian, I am sure that 100% of my communicative message will be understood to the tiniest nuance, exactly how I want it to be. For a WM, I need to make some extra efforts because I don't know each and every little detail or nuance of the conversation. Therefore, I feel somehow limited in expressing myself to a WM, which is a disadvantage.

[Gator]

Lily,

Your explanation is superb.  I hope it does not get buried here.

I suppose I like your explanation because much of it is almost verbatim to what Sabina has told me.  In Sabina's case, she had at least three other factors:

1.  She wanted the opportunity to achieve something in the business world and thought it more readily accomplished in the West with my mentoring than in Russia.

2.  She has children and few RM are interested in being a father to someone else's kid.

3.  She abhors cold weather.

Therefore, I feel somehow limited in expressing myself to a WM, which is a disadvantage.

Based on our delightful meeting, you do not have a problem communicating.  Perhaps you are hesitant at times (something about RW wanting to speak perfect English even though many AM do not).   A worthy man truly interested in you will want to answer your every question, and he will have the patience to probe your mind looking for questions that you did not know existed. 

[Ooooops]

Why do Russian women prefer Western men?

If you look at statistics of R/W vs R/R (Ukrainian, Belorussian, Moldovian, etc) marriages in FSU, then you'll see that Russian women do not prefer Western man at all.   

[Doll]

If you look at statistics of R/W vs R/R (Ukrainian, Belorussian, Moldovian, etc) marriages in FSU, then you'll that Russian women do not prefer Western man at all.   

[Lily]

Gator,

I am pleased to know that you remember our nice teadrinking evening a la trois in Moscow

The factors that Sabina does mention do not have anything to do with attractivity, however. Also, many points that have been raised in this thread do not. What I am trying to explain is why it is the WM who induce the butterflies in my stomach. Reasonable criteria and the instinctive ones.

With communication, I mean a slight problem to deliver messages with all nuances and with full expression, and that it could be communicated and delivered 100%. That comes with considerable times of communication in the foreign country, after seeing people watching, llistening, gesticulating, joking, etc.

[Misha]

If you look at statistics of R/W vs R/R (Ukrainian, Belorussian, Moldovian, etc) marriages in FSU, then you'll see that Russian women do not prefer Western man at all.   

Well, wanting something and succeeding at doing it are two very different things. To know what women want, you would need a poll to know how many would want to marry a foreigner. I saw one news report that said that 30% of Russian women would want to marry a foreigner. Few actually go out and look for a foreigner, but given a chance and the right man they probably would not say no.

Then, there are the statistics as to how many women actually marry foreigners. I remember reading one news report that 60,000 Russian women married Turkish me in the last decade, 50,000-or-so Americans, a similar number would have married German citizens, etc... This would add up to 200,000 to 300,000 women. True, compared to the total number of women it is a small number, but it is still a large number and a high proportion compared to other countries.

[Doll]

Proportion is tiny

[Misha]

Proportion is tiny

Well, I am not saying it is huge, but what would it be compared to other countries? Have hundreds of thousands of women from Germany or the United States or Turkey married foreigners and left to live in other countries?

[Ooooops]

True, compared to the total number of women it is a small number, but it is still a large number and a high proportion compared to other countries.

Do you have statistics for out-of-the country marriages for other countries?   I don't know it, but I do know quite a few couples where husband and wife are from different countries.   

[Misha]

Do you have statistics for out-of-the country marriages for other countries?   I don't know it, but I do know quite a few couples where husband and wife are from different countries.   

Unfortunately, I don't. There are a number of Canadian women that marry foreigners and Canadian men that marry foreigners. Based of the number of women on immigration forums, I would say as many women marry foreigners as men and sponsor them. Overall, things balance out: some women and men leave, others come into the country.

I have yet to see much written about Russian men marrying foreigners. Maybe they exist, but it does not seem to be a phenomenon that has gathered the attention of the Russian media.

[Ulysses]

   I've just returned from 9 days in the small town of Pushavaditsa on the northern edge of Kiev.  I was there to completely focus on the one woman I met this past September and the one  I couldn't wait until New Years's/Christmas to see again!!  I observed her in as many situations as possible during this time (especially the way she handled rush hour traffic into Kiev when driving us to the ballet on Thursday evening....wow, what a ride) !!!
   Anyway, while we were able to communicate well enough with her basic English ability, we relied upon 2 different interpeters for 2 evenings.   While recounting our previous conversations, e-mails, etc on this past Friday evening, the conversation turned to her (L's) reasoning on signing with an agency....A girlfriend's urging....(she's now married and living happily in Spain)...and several friends currently living in Ft. Lauderdale and Atlanta and having a better life seem to be important factors.  And I'm hopeful they all have given L the actual image of life in the US.  But the most important thing she said that evening....in very precise terms...was that she wanted a Husband!!!!!  She didn't want a "relationship", or just "dating", but a real commitment.   She has been divorced 8 years, and has grown weary of being both a man and a woman to her young son.  I'm sure the word "traditional" was mentioned in the midst of the conversations, and I replied in the affirmative.....my desires and thoughts also.  And I don't think I was hearing and receiving something that was a "recycled" thought from many regurgitation's of web-site hype.  ( Her touch spoke more than words during those 9 days.)  And I stated definitely that I sought a Wife....and I seemed to be well received in those thoughts. 
    During that drive to meet this interperter, we had to stop near a Metro, and parked on a sort side-street.  Some pretty grim-looking men were hanging out around some run down buildings with a lot of beer bottles littered around.  L's quick comment about "Russian men's"  ___???!!  really caught my ear as well as eye.   And I think I saw the look of weariness and fear in so many men's eyes during those 9 days....people basically afraid to look me in the eye in most situations. 
    So I'm hoping Gator & Mila are right on.....'cause I think I've met THE ONE for me....and I'm thinking L has similar thoughts as well.