Survey Results - Third Question: Causes of Divorce

[Barnes]

She's a bitch, and is that so hard to believe? Ted W already stated it, and he knows her better than anybody else in this room. Okay?

[Chelseaboy]

Some men/Sir Galahads on these forums are in self-denial about FSU women who are bitches..they always dig and try and lay the blame with the man.

Same as the many foreign men that get scammed in the FSU,particularly in Ukraine,it's always the mans fault for being a trusting idiot...whilst the lying scammer woman seems to get absolved of all blame.

[mendeleyev]

There are always two sides to every story. Always. That doesn't excuse a woman behaving badly, but it is life.

Character matters, and it amazes me at how fast some engagements and marriages happen. This game of international marriage is designed to put two people on a conveyor belt at high speed, and it is up to the man to slow things down. He is the one with the power of traveling to her, paying for the process of migration and assimilation, and so he is the one who can shift into a lower gear.

If a woman insists on staying in the fast lane, find another woman. The sad fact is that men, all of us, are capable of falling in love with photos and we project the character traits we want her to exhibit onto that photo, this making it hard to recognize the red flags that appear.

Slow the process down, make more visits, spend more time on Skype (but never mistake Skype for being in person), and instead of flying women off on exotic vacations, spend as much time as possible in her natural environment. Then spend some more time in her natural setting, and allow her to get to know you as you get to know her.

This stuff is hard, and shortcuts rarely end well.

[Muzh]

Some men/Sir Galahads on these forums are in self-denial about FSU women who are bitches..they always dig and try and lay the blame with the man.

Same as the many foreign men that get scammed in the FSU,particularly in Ukraine,it's always the mans fault for being a trusting idiot...whilst the lying scammer woman seems to get absolved of all blame.

It is not self-denial when I have a problem you labeling every FSU woman you've met (and then some) as bitches, whores, etc.


Either you have very bad taste in women or you are oblivious to their "charms."

[Chelseaboy]

Once again the guy who likes to impress  women by flashing his cash gets it wrong..nothing new there.... the reality is i've only met up with one woman in the FSU..in Kiev....capiche ?

Kindly show everyone the posts where you claim i have met all these women in the FSU and called them bitches and whores...or show yourself to be totally dishonest,which i have a problem with.


The comments i made were about OTHER men on these forums who have told their stories.


So Muzh before you make any more inane comments.making yourself look stupid in the process..get your facts right eh ?

[Muzh]

And the some doesn't mean anything to you?


I never used dinero to impress any woman.


How much dinero do you think a civil servant can amass?


The problem you may have is the lack of charisma.


BTW, I was told by many damsels that I'm a charming person. Is that the same as charisma? 

[Chelseaboy]

You said "every FSU woman i've met (and then some )"..so don't try and weasel your way out of it and instead show all these FSU women i've met.

"Bitches and whores" is plural..meaning more than one.

If you're going to make a personal attack on someone..back it up .

And yes you openly bragged on the other forum about how you love to buy women bottles of Champers when you meet them..not just in the FSU...and how any guy that doesn't lead with his money is a cheapskate.

[fathertime]

My feeling is that it is ok if a man has 'charisma and chooses to wine/ dine and lead with his wallet, also...especially if it is somewhat sustainable.   Women want to have novel experiences with their 'man' and often those experiences require money....i.e. a helicopter tour of the city in the evening.or something of that nature.

Fathertime!

[Muzh]

You said "every FSU woman i've met (and then some )"..so don't try and weasel your way out of it and instead show all these FSU women i've met.

"Bitches and whores" is plural..meaning more than one.

If you're going to make a personal attack on someone..back it up .

And yes you openly bragged on the other forum about how you love to buy women bottles of Champers when you meet them..not just in the FSU...and how any guy that doesn't lead with his money is a cheapskate.

LMFAO


I'm at a bar and single. Instead of using the old and tried, not to mention, cheap way to start a conversation with a single woman at the same bar by offering to buy her a drink, I suggested if they wanted to join me in drinking some champagne.


As I said, charm and charisma. Of course you would not know what I'm talking about. 


I'm pretty sure you would ask them to buy you a drink so you don't get the impression they are after your money, right Romeo?

[Muzh]

My feeling is that it is ok if a man has 'charisma and chooses to wine/ dine and lead with his wallet, also...especially if it is somewhat sustainable.   Women want to have novel experiences with their 'man' and often those experiences require money....i.e. a helicopter tour of the city in the evening.or something of that nature.

Fathertime!

DAMN!!!


A helicopter ride!!!


Dude, you are way above my league. 

[Chelseaboy]

Never mind with the smart -alec comments and snide remarks Muzh..your attempts at deflection don't work with me..and no i don't need women to buy me a drink

Show all these women i've called "bitches and whores " that i've met in the FSU...or show everyone on here what you really are...because we both know what you really are don't we.?

You're full of it..and it ain't charisma or charm

[Muzh]

Sorry mate.


I'm not the one going to bed with the palm of my hand.


Was trying to give you some pointers but it is obvious you are so damn cheap to see one way to change your luck.


It is NOT the women's fault they don't want to hang out with you.

[Turboguy]

My feeling is that it is ok if a man has 'charisma and chooses to wine/ dine and lead with his wallet, also...especially if it is somewhat sustainable.   Women want to have novel experiences with their 'man' and often those experiences require money....i.e. a helicopter tour of the city in the evening.or something of that nature.

Fathertime!

If that is the kind of life the man likes to live and most importantly if it is sustainable then I see nothing wrong with that.  I do think there are guys who may go searching for a woman and spend money to impress her who really don't have the income to sustain it and don't plan on that kind of life after they marry.  That isn't so good.  I see lots of people as well who have no self control when it comes to spending money, especially money they don't have and should not be spending.  I feel sorry for the woman who ends up with on of those. 


The cold hard reality is that some women would decide to marry a guy who would take her on a helicopter ride and her reasons are not that she loves the man but that she loves the adventurous life she thinks she will have with him.  Guys do the same thing in marrying a woman with a beautiful face or a hot body even though they have little attraction to the human being inside.


People can find lots of ways to screw up their life.

[Chelseaboy]

So Muzh,

               The whole forum sees you for what you are..a fantasist who makes dishonest claims about other forum members...and then tries to deflect to hide his lies with more fantasies.

You have no credibility at all..zilch.

As for you,well i hear the self-styled suave man about town,who perceives himself as full of charisma wasn't so charismatic and full of himself when he received a telephone call from another forum member who wanted to call you out..exactly the opposite i heard LMAO.


You see i deal in reality not fantasy..unlike you...it's easy for guys like you to make out you're something you're not on the internet..like i said you're full of it.

I don't need pointers from a guy like you that we have a saying for where i live "all mouth and no trousers " .

[Boethius]

Chelsea, keep what happens on other forums at those forums.  BTW, I think stalking someone you have never met in person, based on questions he asks you on a forum, calling him at work, and threatening him is the epitome of bad form.  Even if done because of desperation.


As for Muzh, he visited one, exactly one woman in the FSU, and he ended up marrying her.   In American culture, at the time Muzh was single, no self respecting woman would have looked twice at a man who was not willing to pay for dinner/drinks, etc.  Anything else, and he would have been viewed as a cheapskate, not worth the time to get to know.

[Boethius]

She seemed to be fine in Russia; from a good family.

I would submit you just didn't know her.  Plus, "good families" there included the likes of party members who thought nothing of informing on others to get ahead. 


Personally, I think the focus on how much you earn, what you can give her, etc., is not the basis of a loving marriage.  It just goes again to prove my point that many of these unions are based on economic disparity.

[I/O]

Not sure if I'll ever be qualified to speak on this exact topic but if a similar survey were conducted among those jailed for 1st degree murder.....

[msmobyone]

There are always two sides to every story. Always. That doesn't excuse a woman behaving badly, but it is life.

Normally, agree with you, Mendy - but not, today...many mariages end when one partner is not honest or violent.

Character matters, and it amazes me at how fast some engagements and marriages happen. This game of international marriage is designed to put two people on a conveyor belt at high speed, and it is up to the man to slow things down. He is the one with the power of traveling to her, paying for the process of migration and assimilation, and so he is the one who can shift into a lower gear.

Wise words, but as their saying goes - ''you have to eat 50 tonnes of salt together to REALLY know your partner. '' 

If a woman insists on staying in the fast lane, find another woman. The sad fact is that men, all of us, are capable of falling in love with photos and we project the character traits we want her to exhibit onto that photo, this making it hard to recognize the red flags that appear.

Slow the process down, make more visits, spend more time on Skype (but never mistake Skype for being in person), and instead of flying women off on exotic vacations, spend as much time as possible in her natural environment. Then spend some more time in her natural setting, and allow her to get to know you as you get to know her.

This stuff is hard, and shortcuts rarely end well.

 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Some men/Sir Galahads on these forums are in self-denial about FSU women who are bitches..they always dig and try and lay the blame with the man.

Same as the many foreign men that get scammed in the FSU,particularly in Ukraine,it's always the mans fault for being a trusting idiot...whilst the lying scammer woman seems to get absolved of all blame.

I don't get the "it's not their fault for being an idiot" excuse.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Chelsea, keep what happens on other forums at those forums.  BTW, I think stalking someone you have never met in person, based on questions he asks you on a forum, calling him at work, and threatening him is the epitome of bad form.  Even if done because of desperation.


As for Muzh, he visited one, exactly one woman in the FSU, and he ended up marrying her.   In American culture, at the time Muzh was single, no self respecting woman would have looked twice at a man who was not willing to pay for dinner/drinks, etc.  Anything else, and he would have been viewed as a cheapskate, not worth the time to get to know.

Muzh has been married for what?  100 years now.      Maybe the keys to a happy marriage is free flowing champagne.  haha


I never understood why some guys care so much about how much they spend while dating.  It's suppose to be about having fun and getting to know someone.  Maybe it's time to make a spreadsheet with some pie charts for dating.


As for the the bitches and whores comments.  I think everyone can have bitchy tendencies while also having good qualities.  It is almost never black and white.  There must have been some good qualities that attracted you, in the first place.  Divorce may make you forget about them.  haha


The stalking bit is disturbing and should be addressed with a professional.   

[Muzh]

Muzh has been married for what?  100 years now.      Maybe the keys to a happy marriage is free flowing champagne.  haha

115!! And man, you are so right about free flowing champagne and a happy marriage. 

I never understood why some guys care so much about how much they spend while dating.  It's suppose to be about having fun and getting to know someone. 

BINGO!!!

As for the the bitches and whores comments. I think everyone can have bitchy tendencies while also having good qualities.  It is almost never black and white.  There must have been some good qualities that attracted you, in the first place.  Divorce may make you forget about them.  haha

Absolutely. However, I do question those who constantly complain about every woman they meet (and haven't met yet.)

[/size]

The stalking bit is disturbing and should be addressed with a professional.

LFU


You have no clue how close it came to that.

[Boethius]

Some men/Sir Galahads on these forums are in self-denial about FSU women who are bitches..they always dig and try and lay the blame with the man.

Same as the many foreign men that get scammed in the FSU,particularly in Ukraine,it's always the mans fault for being a trusting idiot...whilst the lying scammer woman seems to get absolved of all blame.

The man is going to a foreign country and leading with his wallet.  So yes, I would say in a sense, he is to blame.  I am not absolving from blame a woman who uses the man, but look at some of the responses here on full disclosure of finances.  That suggests a monetary transaction, rather than a marriage based on love, or even mutual respect.

[AC]

I'm at a bar and single. Instead of using the old and tried, not to mention, cheap way to start a conversation with a single woman at the same bar by offering to buy her a drink, I suggested if they wanted to join me in drinking some champagne.

What kind of guy goes to a bar alone today, and then when he is so desperate for some company, offers to buy a perfect stranger some champagne?  Oh that's right, the geriatric desperate type who can't get a date, so he ends up in a bar.

Buying some champagne for your date at a nice restaurant?  Yes, that would be classy and charming.  Single and alone at a bar because you can't get a date?  Desperate.

In fact when other guys read between the lines it's obvious why some guys headed to Ukraine in the first place.  They were completely alone and father time (not you ft  ) was advancing rapidly.  Protestations aside, it's even more obvious.  Boy, did Chelseaboy have you pegged.   

[Boethius]

Muzh has been married for 15 years, so I don't think he has been bar hopping in quite some time.  He was also a single father of 2 very young children before he married his current wife, so I doubt he was bar hopping then, either.  I get the impression, from past posts, that Muzh was into the bar scene before his first marriage, but he can clarify.  I know couples who met in bars, all when they were in their twenties.  I think it is just another way to meet people.  In their forties?  Not so much, it's more like this -
 

 
We were recently on vacation, and stopped for dinner at a local pizza joint.  It had a long sports bar at the front of the restaurant.  I was seated on a platform, above the bar, and could see the action from my vantage point.  I noticed a young man, and two pretty girls, sitting separately.  Then, the man bought the girls drinks, and they moved over to sit with him.  He didn't look desperate or old, in fact, he looked very much like this -

The dynamic was interesting, as one girl was very into him, but he wasn't picking up on the girl's signals. 

[Muzh]

Muzh has been married for 15 years, so I don't think he has been bar hopping in quite some time.  He was also a single father of 2 very young children before he married his current wife, so I doubt he was bar hopping then, either.  I get the impression, from past posts, that Muzh was into the bar scene before his first marriage, but he can clarify.  I know couples who met in bars, all when they were in their twenties.  I think it is just another way to meet people.  In their forties?  Not so much, it's more like this -
 

 
We were recently on vacation, and stopped for dinner at a local pizza joint.  It had a long sports bar at the front of the restaurant.  I was seated on a platform, above the bar, and could see the action from my vantage point.  I noticed a young man, and two pretty girls, sitting separately.  Then, the man bought the girls drinks, and they moved over to sit with him.  He didn't look desperate or old, in fact, he looked very much like this -

The dynamic was interesting, as one girl was very into him, but he wasn't picking up on the girl's signals.

Boe, why try to explain anything to a guy who tries to impress women by doing handstands on a skateboard? (Ooo, very manly)


Not only he is infantile, but also cheap.


Not to mention he has to change his avatar just to be accepted.