Dating Non-English Speakers: Opinions please

[Link]

Based on my recent bad experience with a girl from Russia, I would say I don't recommend dating someone with whom you cannot communicate in a common language. Also as other people also recommend me, I would also suggest  try to meet someone who can speak reasonable English or any other language in which you can communicate in a fluent way. Why meet someone you know who you cannot talk normally with in real life? The ability to communicate with each other is the key to any good relationship and you cannot work a relationship well using a human/electronic translator. Having a relationship with a girl who speaks only Russian and no English its a very painful and expensive experience and you do not wanna do that, I did it myself with miss Penza and it was a big mistake as you feel helpless once you meet the girl in person.  I am myself fluent in 4 languages (Spanish, English, French and German) but sadly I speak no Russian (I am trying to learn it anyway).

[Simoni]

Strictly speaking, I didn’t have a Russian teaching degree. I had a MS degree from SPb state university, and I had to go through the ARC program (=Alternate Route to Certification.) It is my 4th year as a full time teacher with the same school.

Most US states offer teachers to be an alternative certification route.  In this path, the candidate makes up deficiencies in their credentials.  Hence, it is very much like university coursework, but usually includes classroom training as well as work with students.   Many universities allow teacher to "count" undergraduate level coursework for masters degree credit in route to certification and a masters degree.

[SilverBUllet]

True, if becoming fluent is the purpose of using CDs.  However, they do work for learning basic conversation.  Locals respect you more when you can say basic things to them, and respond to their greetings.

If you have an iPod or iPhone, the language software you can buy from the Apple store is pretty good for conversational Russian. {iLingo, Talking Panda)  Plus, it is right there with you on your iPhone when you need it.  I often used it in cafes when ordering when I was alone.  It worked.

I did not benefit from Rosetta Stone; I did benefit from the Pimsler CDs.

Second that. I have the same on my iPhone too. It is really good and it speaks even. On the old iPhone the speakers were too weak but on the 3G iPhone the speakers are stronger so it can be used better. 

[HiTech]

Interesting thing happened yesterday. My wife likes to do cross stitch. As she was working on it, I heard her talking to her self about what she was working on in English.

HiTech

[SANDRO43]

Interesting thing happened yesterday. My wife likes to do cross stitch. As she was working on it, I heard her talking to her self about what she was working on in English.

Pricked a finger and started swearing ?

[AnastassiaAsh]

Sorry for the off topic, but i can't help it!

HiTech, can we see more of those top-notch wedding pictures?!  Maybe in the Gallery?

[Tamara]

I hold BA degree in teaching and MA degree in translation and applied linguistics, both obtained in Saint Petersburg, Russia.  I went through evaluation with the company in Boston and was granted, quote: "equivalent to a U.S. Bachelor of Arts degree and a U.S. Master of Arts degree in foreign language (specialization in English and German and translation) and education (teacher training). Since then I have been employed with a number of huge corporations as both Foreign Language Teacher and Translator.

[dispozo]

I hold BA degree in teaching and MA degree in translation and applied linguistics, both obtained in Saint Petersburg, Russia.  I went through evaluation with the company in Boston and was granted, quote: "equivalent to a U.S. Bachelor of Arts degree and a U.S. Master of Arts degree in foreign language (specialization in English and German and translation) and education (teacher training). Since then I have been employed with a number of huge corporations as both Foreign Language Teacher and Translator.

Hi, Tamara

Would it be this company?

CENTER FOR EDUCATIONAL  DOCUMENTATION
P.  O.  Box 199
Boston, MA   02117-0199
Tel. 617-338-7171
www.cedevaluations.com

If, yes..

How was your experience with them? Would you use them again?

Thanks

[ECOCKS]

Thanks very much for the useful information being posted here with regard to detailed contacts, procedures and impressions.   

[Tamara]

Dear Dispozo,

Yes, it was CENTER FOR EDUCATIONAL  DOCUMENTATION.  My personal experience with them was very positive.  However, I recommended them to a couple friends later and they were disappointed with evaluation.  Some of it was incorrect and this company would refuse to change anything. 

[dispozo]

Dear Dispozo,

Yes, it was CENTER FOR EDUCATIONAL  DOCUMENTATION.  My personal experience with them was very positive.  However, I recommended them to a couple friends later and they were disappointed with evaluation.  Some of it was incorrect and this company would refuse to change anything. 

Thanks, Tamara

[Al_C]

A common language is a great advantage, but lack of it is not a deal breaker, only another obstacle to overcome.  I had two who spoke little English.  I rated the English skills of one of them on a scale of 1 to 10 at about a 4, and the other at about a 2.

A pocket translator helped a great deal, and the 2 also required an interpreter, but we got through it.

Ultimately, if you want to bring her here, she is going to have to learn English because she will feel alone and isolated if she does not.

[SilverBUllet]

A common language is a great advantage, but lack of it is not a deal breaker, only another obstacle to overcome.  I had two who spoke little English.  I rated the English skills of one of them on a scale of 1 to 10 at about a 4, and the other at about a 2.

A pocket translator helped a great deal, and the 2 also required an interpreter, but we got through it.

Ultimately, if you want to bring her here, she is going to have to learn English because she will feel alone and isolated if she does not.

What do you mean? Were you married twice? 

[ScottinCrimea]

A common language is a great advantage, but lack of it is not a deal breaker, only another obstacle to overcome.  I had two who spoke little English.  I rated the English skills of one of them on a scale of 1 to 10 at about a 4, and the other at about a 2.

A pocket translator helped a great deal, and the 2 also required an interpreter, but we got through it.

Ultimately, if you want to bring her here, she is going to have to learn English because she will feel alone and isolated if she does not.

I think what you are saying is what most have said here.  In the early dating phase, lack of English may not be so much of an obstacle and a pocket translator will help, but if the relationship progresses and you need to move into much deeper subjects, and especially when she comes to the US, the obstacles increase exponentially.

Too many here are saying that they have dated many RW with little or no English skills and they have gotten along fine.  That's all well and good, but you need to listen to those who have gotten beyond that stage.  The VAST majority say that at some point the difficulty in communication either caused the relationship/marriage to break up or, even if they are still together and happy, that the obstacles were such that they wouldn't recommend it to anyone else.

[Simoni]

Too many here are saying that they have dated many RW with little or no English skills and they have gotten along fine.  That's all well and good, but you need to listen to those who have gotten beyond that stage.  The VAST majority say that at some point the difficulty in communication either caused the relationship/marriage to break up or, even if they are still together and happy, that the obstacles were such that they wouldn't recommend it to anyone else.

I have to agree with that.  I did date several girls with no or little English. They were fun.  But I married a girl who was fluent.  Sure glad I did.

Now-- here is my advise to newbies.   Search for girls who speak English.  Only consider non-English speakers if they pop into your life by chance-- via a friend, meeting in a grocery checkout line in the fsu, etc.  But when planning happens-- plan to meet girls who speak English.

[Ooooops]

Language professionals will tell you that a person can learn to speak something they barely understand. Only when a lady has lived in your country and begun to adapt to your culture can she really "understand" English.  Until then, its dangerous to be lulled into thinking that because she listens and responds in English that surely she must have "understood" what we were talking about.

That is very interesting approach, I have to agree.    But then in this case we also should distinguish  between English and English.   "Ross Dress for Less" or "Needless Markups".   Frugal living or extra yacht.   McDonalds or Whole Foods.   

[boaterguy]

Hmmmm,My wife was probably a 2 when we met. I can honestly say the only time it has or occasionally does cause us a problem is if we become impatient. The best thing I ever did was buy a laptop and install the prompt translator on it after my 2nd trip. On my 2nd trip I bought my wife a computer and installed prompt so we could cut out the agency. Man did that pay for itself in a hurry! We have been together over 5 years now. I can't remember the last time we got out a Russian?English dictionary!

[Julia G]

 If you want a girl with bad english, help her to get ABBYY Lingvo or kind of on her computer (I don`t work for ABBYY, lol) it`s software that allows to translate just when you put the cursor on word. Also there`re audio things there. Sometimes in speech of my dear I see words I cannot translate in spite of 16 years of learning the language and this software is great help.
 My dear had troubles with bad-english speaker before so now he says - only fluent english. Fluent in sense the lady can communicate on phone. But even fluent speakers have problems. I understand 95% of his words cause I hear language very well (I`m studying to be a linguist), but still there`s my british-russian accent, more british than russian if to believe my dear. British is problem for some americans, some are not used though get used quickly, my dear understands 100% but he needed some time to adjust (near 15 min lol).
 Personally I don`t believe in marriages of people who don`t understand each other and third-party (an interpreter) is stressful for me so i`m glad there`s no language problem for me. There can`t be real intellectual connection which is important for some, but if one just wants a housewife who doesn`t integrate lots into society and just cooks, cleans and is sex partner it can be ok. They have their right and wants. But if you want a working wfe who not only cooks and if you need something intellectual better pick good-english speakers. Also I believe that if girl doesn`t know any foreign language (except ladies after 50)- she was lazy at school and think if you need a lazy one. Because we ALL we taught foreign languages at school either english or german or french so if she doesn`t speak any it tells not good things about her personality. My mom spoke english with my canadian ex not fluent but enough to understand and be understood so ones who want - learn. I think woman must be able at least write in bad english. Good student gets knowledge even from bad teachers. But that`s my private opinion.

[mies]

Hello everyone!

The language issue came up a few times in the responses to my recent Trip Report. I'd like to collect some opinions about dating non-English speakers. I had originally been under the impression that expanding my search to ladies who don't speak English was a good idea.

This is a brilliant idea.
How much of English does she need to speak?
- "yes"
- "oh..oh yes.."
- "yes, darling i love you" (this 1 she will learn gradually after several months of English courses paid by you)
- [after you present her with a ring] "i do"

when you will bring her to USA - you will not have to listen to females talks - about mood, shopping, girlfriends and other unnecessary stuff. She will be a perfect mute or nearly mute wife.
when you will get bored of her - you will have valid reason to seek for new woman due to her depression, caused by inability to socialize and failure to mold into local american social life.

[I/O]

if they are still together and happy, that the obstacles were such that they wouldn't recommend it to anyone else.

Good summary.

I/O

[Gator]

This is a brilliant idea.
How much of English does she need to speak?
- "yes"
- "oh..oh yes.."
- "yes, darling i love you" (this 1 she will learn gradually after several months of English courses paid by you)
- [after you present her with a ring] "i do"

when you will bring her to USA - you will not have to listen to females talks - about mood, shopping, girlfriends and other unnecessary stuff. She will be a perfect mute or nearly mute wife.
when you will get bored of her - you will have valid reason to seek for new woman due to her depression, caused by inability to socialize and failure to mold into local american social life.

An example of RW sarcasm, except I doubt that you are smiling.

[mies]

An example of RW sarcasm, except I doubt that you are smiling.

1) i am not and RW, but you r right about sarcasm part ))
2) actually i am smiling - and my smile is very charming 

[Simoni]

So you are a UW mles?

[mies]

So you are a UW mles?

why? 

[Simoni]

Your style of writing leads me to think you are a UW :-)

Are you?

How about another smile?